IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
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Dear @H0peAndFa1th
Thanks for evaluating my previous essay, it gives load of confidence when someone like you gives positive feedback.
Could you please go through below one too...I am writing on 23rd of this month and like everyone else here writing is putting my ITA on hold
Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
According to some, tourists coming from outside the country ought to be paying more admission fees than the ones from local area when visiting attractions with cultural and historical value. In my opinion, I tend to disagree with this notion as this practice will bring issues for both foreign sightseers and such places.
Putting more fees for visitors from other countries will simply raise sense of inequality among them. This could upset anyone when noticing having to pay extra amount of money just because they belong to some other country. What makes it worst is paying extra for having exactly same level of services and similar kind of facilities for the only reason that they are having some other nationality. In fact this should be other way around, tourists from other parts of world should be given discounted rates in order to attract more of them.
In addition to aforementioned points, local residents coming to visit such sights will start taking these national assets for granted when having to pay a very small amount as compared to foreigners and in result these places will gradually start losing their value in the eyes of locals. Take National Museum Dubai for example, a famous attraction and marvelous piece of UAE history, but locals are hardly seen there for the same reason that it doesn’t attract them anymore for the same reason of making it more economical for UAE nationals when it comes to paying for admission fee. Thus, it is pertinent to say that both of these tourists ‘categories should be billed equally.
To sum up, making the access of such big tourist attractions equally charged for national and international visitors will benefit both tourism industry and these places itself.
Thanks for evaluating my previous essay, it gives load of confidence when someone like you gives positive feedback.
Could you please go through below one too...I am writing on 23rd of this month and like everyone else here writing is putting my ITA on hold
Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
According to some, tourists coming from outside the country ought to be paying more admission fees than the ones from local area when visiting attractions with cultural and historical value. In my opinion, I tend to disagree with this notion as this practice will bring issues for both foreign sightseers and such places.
Putting more fees for visitors from other countries will simply raise sense of inequality among them. This could upset anyone when noticing having to pay extra amount of money just because they belong to some other country. What makes it worst is paying extra for having exactly same level of services and similar kind of facilities for the only reason that they are having some other nationality. In fact this should be other way around, tourists from other parts of world should be given discounted rates in order to attract more of them.
In addition to aforementioned points, local residents coming to visit such sights will start taking these national assets for granted when having to pay a very small amount as compared to foreigners and in result these places will gradually start losing their value in the eyes of locals. Take National Museum Dubai for example, a famous attraction and marvelous piece of UAE history, but locals are hardly seen there for the same reason that it doesn’t attract them anymore for the same reason of making it more economical for UAE nationals when it comes to paying for admission fee. Thus, it is pertinent to say that both of these tourists ‘categories should be billed equally.
To sum up, making the access of such big tourist attractions equally charged for national and international visitors will benefit both tourism industry and these places itself.
Sorry folks its been a while I got chance to review an essay here. Good to see @H0peAndFa1th back to reviewing. If there are essays still pending and not reviewed by Hope please post them again. Thanks!
Dear @H0peAndFa1th
Thanks for evaluating my previous essay, it gives load of confidence when someone like you gives positive feedback.
Could you please go through below one too...I am writing on 23rd of this month and like everyone else here writing is putting my ITA on hold
Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
According to some, tourists coming from outside the country ought to be paying more admission fees than the ones from local area (native people) when visiting attractions with cultural and historical value. Technically, there is nothing wrong with the sentence but it is just too long for paraphrasing.
In my opinion, I tend to disagree Use one of these phrases. In my opinion and I tend to mean the same thing.
with this notion as this practice will bring issues for both foreign sightseers and such places. Okay but what issues? Give a glimpse here.
Your introduction is okay and not great. This has been discussed many times here. Read this post point 1.6 https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485
Putting more fees for visitors from other countries will simply raise sense of inequality among them. Weird phrasing.
This could upset anyone when noticing having to pay extra amount of money just because they belong to some other country. So these two sentences have same message.
What makes it worst is paying extra for having exactly same level of services and similar kind of facilities for the only reason that they are having some other nationality. Okay same thing in different words.
In fact this should be other way around, tourists from other parts of world should be given discounted rates in order to attract more of them. Question is WHY?
There is not many points here. You need to spend sometime in reading essays and figuring out how to make arguments and points.
In addition to aforementioned points, local residents coming to visit such sights will start taking these national assets for granted when having to pay a very small amount as compared to foreigners and in result these places will gradually start losing their value in the eyes of locals. Seriously like how?
Take National Museum Dubai for example, a famous attraction and marvelous piece of UAE history, but locals are hardly seen there for the same reason that it doesn’t attract them anymore for the same reason of making it more economical for UAE nationals when it comes to paying for admission fee. I don't buy it. If something is less in cost it means less crowd??
Thus, it is pertinent to say that both of these tourists ‘categories should be billed equally. So someone who is not going to a place because it is cheap will go to a place now because price has been increased?
To sum up, making the access of such big tourist attractions equally charged for national and international visitors will benefit both tourism industry and these places itself.
Weak conclusion. Refer to https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485
Somebody please evaluate my essay
Question:
Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions.To what extent do you agrra or disagree with this opinion.
It is opined that tourists from abroad must be charged more than natives at traditional tourist spots. I completely agree with this as it helps the economy and promotes local culture amongst the inhabitants.
In contemporary times tourism assists in maintaining the economy . A large of money is generated through tourism and hence charging the foreigners by hosting and sharing the local history and culture is fair business. The money generated from the fee charged can be used for maintaining the historical monuments which can be preserved for the future generations. To illustrate,maintenance of old buildings costs the local government significant funds and these can be met by the money generated by from the foreign tourists. Thus it is fair to collect higher funds from foreigners to boost the economy.
Moreover it is necessary to promote the local culture amongst the natives and charging an higher amount equivalent to the foreign tourists can be detrimental in attracting them to the tourist attractions . The locals have a sense of ownership for the culture and traditions and will be reluctant to pay a higher amount to see the attractions.A fixed nominal fee can encourage the locals to visit the historical places and this promotes and educates the culture amongst them.For example, if the natives frequent these places they will become more aware of the culture and history of their ancestors . Thus in order to pass on and promote the culture and traditions it is necessary to charge the locals a lower fee.
To sum up, charging the foreign visitor more than the natives helps in both boosting the economy and local culture and hence is fair business in my opinion.
Question:
Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions.To what extent do you agrra or disagree with this opinion.
It is opined that tourists from abroad must be charged more than natives at traditional tourist spots. I completely agree with this as it helps the economy and promotes local culture amongst the inhabitants.
In contemporary times tourism assists in maintaining the economy . A large of money is generated through tourism and hence charging the foreigners by hosting and sharing the local history and culture is fair business. The money generated from the fee charged can be used for maintaining the historical monuments which can be preserved for the future generations. To illustrate,maintenance of old buildings costs the local government significant funds and these can be met by the money generated by from the foreign tourists. Thus it is fair to collect higher funds from foreigners to boost the economy.
Moreover it is necessary to promote the local culture amongst the natives and charging an higher amount equivalent to the foreign tourists can be detrimental in attracting them to the tourist attractions . The locals have a sense of ownership for the culture and traditions and will be reluctant to pay a higher amount to see the attractions.A fixed nominal fee can encourage the locals to visit the historical places and this promotes and educates the culture amongst them.For example, if the natives frequent these places they will become more aware of the culture and history of their ancestors . Thus in order to pass on and promote the culture and traditions it is necessary to charge the locals a lower fee.
To sum up, charging the foreign visitor more than the natives helps in both boosting the economy and local culture and hence is fair business in my opinion.
Hi !
I just gave IELTS on 2nd march and got my results declared recently
L-7.5, R-6.0, W-6.5, S-7.5
It’s my 4th attempt..My scores shuffled throughout my attempts
Though i have a good level of English, i am still struggling with reading more than the other modules ..Either it’s time constraint or it’s about getting a panic while writing the exam but i am not able to make it !
Could anybody let me know how to score higher in reading ?
I just gave IELTS on 2nd march and got my results declared recently
L-7.5, R-6.0, W-6.5, S-7.5
It’s my 4th attempt..My scores shuffled throughout my attempts
Though i have a good level of English, i am still struggling with reading more than the other modules ..Either it’s time constraint or it’s about getting a panic while writing the exam but i am not able to make it !
Could anybody let me know how to score higher in reading ?
if you score is less in reading, below 7.5
possible problems :
->problem in comprehension - can't understand things quickly
->wasting time in understanding paragraphs, rather than finding answers
->panic, brain fog, time is running out, but you don't have any idea, if it's 2 minutes or 10 minutes,
->lack in practice, not familiar with IELTS question format or basically tricks they use to trap you.
in reading, I got 9 bands in general test many times, also once in academic ( which is harder than general)
Reading, honestly is a relatively easier thing to fix. I'm not sure if you really spent time in fixing those problems between those 4 attempts. You mentioned feeling panic in exam. It can happen if you are attempting exams without ample time in between to address problem areas.
In addition to what @H0peAndFa1th and says above focus on what type of questions are causing you most trouble and practice those.
I’ll work on the points that you have mentioned..
Thanks for your assistance !!
Alright I’ll invest more time to figure out the obstacles particularly that I’ve been facing.
Thanks for the assistance !
Hello Mentors.. @Hope For Life @cansha Please go through below essay and give your feedback
I am struggling with timekeeping (40 minutes, get loads of ideas but making supporting points is a time taking part in my case)
Some people think that violent films and videogames have negative effects on people and should be banned. Others think that they are just relaxation sources. Discuss both sides and give opinion.
People have different views on aftermaths of watching movies and games showing extreme violence. While these sources provide different kind of entertainment, I believe such content brings negative vibes both in individuals and society.
In the first place, people who believe showing violent stuff through movies or games could be detrimental have multiple reasons to state. Firstly, the way these visuals are displayed, they develop negativity in human brains. This further leads to bringing these fantasies into reality and at that point people stop differentiating between good and bad. Secondly, criminals take these things as source of motivation and try to imitate what is being shown on screens in real life. Criminals then learn different and new techniques of crime through these mediums. Lastly and most importantly, school going children are major victims of these entertainment sources as they are not mature enough to come out of the bloodshed they see on screen and at the end these visuals start effecting their studies.
On the contrary, a group of people have various reasons to support these activities. First of all, they argue that it is just a different kind of entertainment. People always want different things to be rejoiced with and these type of hobbies relieves them from monotonous around them. Moreover, there is no such harm in watching these contents as most of scenes showed are not practical, instead animated using technology.
To sum up, I understand the variety of entertainment people get to see through these visuals, but I believe such graphical violence should not be displayed through any source for the aforementioned reasons.
I am struggling with timekeeping (40 minutes, get loads of ideas but making supporting points is a time taking part in my case)
Some people think that violent films and videogames have negative effects on people and should be banned. Others think that they are just relaxation sources. Discuss both sides and give opinion.
People have different views on aftermaths of watching movies and games showing extreme violence. While these sources provide different kind of entertainment, I believe such content brings negative vibes both in individuals and society.
In the first place, people who believe showing violent stuff through movies or games could be detrimental have multiple reasons to state. Firstly, the way these visuals are displayed, they develop negativity in human brains. This further leads to bringing these fantasies into reality and at that point people stop differentiating between good and bad. Secondly, criminals take these things as source of motivation and try to imitate what is being shown on screens in real life. Criminals then learn different and new techniques of crime through these mediums. Lastly and most importantly, school going children are major victims of these entertainment sources as they are not mature enough to come out of the bloodshed they see on screen and at the end these visuals start effecting their studies.
On the contrary, a group of people have various reasons to support these activities. First of all, they argue that it is just a different kind of entertainment. People always want different things to be rejoiced with and these type of hobbies relieves them from monotonous around them. Moreover, there is no such harm in watching these contents as most of scenes showed are not practical, instead animated using technology.
To sum up, I understand the variety of entertainment people get to see through these visuals, but I believe such graphical violence should not be displayed through any source for the aforementioned reasons.
Folks - There are three essays posted on this page (Page 99). All of them start their conclusion paragraph with the phrase "To sum up,"
Now imagine an IELTS examiner checking your essays and every essay using the same phrase. There is nothing wrong in that phrase but please try to learn new ways of writing your conclusion paragraphs. IELTS wants to see your language ability and if most people are using similar phrases, subconsciously the examiner will consider this as a "learned phrase" which impacts your score.
Also, all three conclusions are weak conclusions. I think it is a big risk just using 1-2 lines in conclusion. I know many online essays have only 1-2 line in conclusion paragraph but those essays writers have advanced writing skills and are able to reiterate main points in just 1-2 sentences. But that is not the case with most of us. IELTS expects you to write introduction and conclusions in a certain way. Conclusions is supposed to reiterate main points of your essay. Please refer to this post again on conclusion paragraphs https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485
Now imagine an IELTS examiner checking your essays and every essay using the same phrase. There is nothing wrong in that phrase but please try to learn new ways of writing your conclusion paragraphs. IELTS wants to see your language ability and if most people are using similar phrases, subconsciously the examiner will consider this as a "learned phrase" which impacts your score.
Also, all three conclusions are weak conclusions. I think it is a big risk just using 1-2 lines in conclusion. I know many online essays have only 1-2 line in conclusion paragraph but those essays writers have advanced writing skills and are able to reiterate main points in just 1-2 sentences. But that is not the case with most of us. IELTS expects you to write introduction and conclusions in a certain way. Conclusions is supposed to reiterate main points of your essay. Please refer to this post again on conclusion paragraphs https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485
I wanted to change from 'in conclusion' so started writing'to sum up'..
Thinking of going back to 'in conclusion'
Hi @cansha @Hope For Life
Thanks for the advice, trying it differently now. Please review below and advise...
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Criminals who give up crime after facing their jail sentence are considered the right persons to educate youngsters about aftermaths of becoming a criminal. I totally agree that such citizens can better teach the young generation about the world of crime as they have been victims of the same curse.
To begin with, there is no denying in the fact that life of a criminal who has spent most of it in jails is itself a live example of what it takes to be a criminal. Young ones can easily visualise the troubles criminals face once they are charged of any crime. It is easy for such citizens who gave up crime to show how their family ties went weaker with time and how it affected the rest of the family. Hence, it is of utmost importance to have young adults counselled by the citizens who have been linked with criminal activities earlier in their lives.
In addition to the previous point, it is established fact that when criminals after completing their trial in jails decide not to pursue any illegal activities anymore are more enthusiastic to keep society more aware of risks involved in committing crimes. They are in best position to recall and share at what stage they made the wrong choice which cost them their career, family breakdown, and many more social issues. Thus, it is pertinent to say that these citizens should be utilized best by bringing them up for awareness of criminality among youth.
To recapitulate, ex-criminals are the best source to bring the consequence of falling into criminal activities in front of young ones. Only these individuals can give an insight of the filthy criminal world.
Thanks for the advice, trying it differently now. Please review below and advise...
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Criminals who give up crime after facing their jail sentence are considered the right persons to educate youngsters about aftermaths of becoming a criminal. I totally agree that such citizens can better teach the young generation about the world of crime as they have been victims of the same curse.
To begin with, there is no denying in the fact that life of a criminal who has spent most of it in jails is itself a live example of what it takes to be a criminal. Young ones can easily visualise the troubles criminals face once they are charged of any crime. It is easy for such citizens who gave up crime to show how their family ties went weaker with time and how it affected the rest of the family. Hence, it is of utmost importance to have young adults counselled by the citizens who have been linked with criminal activities earlier in their lives.
In addition to the previous point, it is established fact that when criminals after completing their trial in jails decide not to pursue any illegal activities anymore are more enthusiastic to keep society more aware of risks involved in committing crimes. They are in best position to recall and share at what stage they made the wrong choice which cost them their career, family breakdown, and many more social issues. Thus, it is pertinent to say that these citizens should be utilized best by bringing them up for awareness of criminality among youth.
To recapitulate, ex-criminals are the best source to bring the consequence of falling into criminal activities in front of young ones. Only these individuals can give an insight of the filthy criminal world.