IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[hst2608]

I am not sure if I will go for it. I did a mistake in task 2 in task response by not mentioning about negative of delayed marriage in detail. Focused on delayed parenthood. Perhaps, this is the reason for my lower score. Anyway, thanks Cansha for being a superb mentor and for showing me the right direction.

I believe its not a school exam where you need to stick to the topic all the time.....thats what i did.... i didnt....i focused on some good english words and tried to attempt and used some compound sentences and complex sentences and with that i got 7 band... my suggestion is that they are more looking for your english rather than 100% sticking to the topic....hope this was helpful and all the best...

 

[Moeedkh]

So

why ?

take a deep breath and follow simple steps,

>> don't think about whole paragraph at first,
think about first line instead.
>> write whole para one lines one by one : like

To begin with, it is known fact that practice improves learning, if students will revise the topic learned at school in form of home work exercise then their ability to understand the topic will improve and it will be retained for much longer period.
Now stop at here - leave a line on paper then write your second line. it is for practice
Researchers at Oxford university found that, working on 3 to 4 simple exercises within a period of 24 hours will improve the retention for upto 6 months, for example.
again stop it, that is fake example by the way - these 2 lines has 73 words, we need 90 words in one paragraph- so only 17 words left
Hence, it is provident to give students light home work exercise which will help them in long term.
there you have 91 words.

I find this technique to be most effective, it saves time, reduce stress, literally there is nothing much to do.

intro : 40
BP1 :90
BP2 :90
Conclusion : 40

that's 260 words.

Sounds plausible. Few queries :

1. Why did you leave a line in between ?
2. 40/90/90/40 distribution is interesting.
3. I was following another pattern, that is

Main Idea
Supporting Idea
Evidence
Analysis
Conclusion.

I cant find example in your text .

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

So



Sounds plausible. Few queries :

1. Why did you leave a line in between ?
it is just to make you understand, you will practice it, it will easier if you break it, in test, you will write it as para, in your mind, there are just 4 lines.


2. 40/90/90/40 distribution is interesting.
yes it is. but be flexible in everything, ielts has no set rules.

3. I was following another pattern, that is

Main Idea
Supporting Idea
Evidence
Analysis
Conclusion.

I cant find example in your text .
look again, this line was used as an example
Researchers at Oxford university found that, working on 3 to 4 simple exercises within a period of 24 hours will improve the retention for upto 6 months, for example.

 

[cansha]

I live under a rock. quite obsolete. I don't know anything about media.
Here maybe is link to the essay that my teacher gave feedback
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B48Z3_erBEHEOGJlVFhZU1Z5cFA1WGhiRW5Hcko5X0JpNHZz/view?usp=sharing

I agree with the corrections your teacher has done and his comments are valid too.

 

[Scottpark77]

Hello Cansha and H0peandFa1th !
I got my results and although I have 6.5 in writing but I got enough CRS score. Thank you for your help

 

[cansha]

Hello Cansha and H0peandFa1th !
I got my results and although I have 6.5 in writing but I got enough CRS score. Thank you for your help

Hey ... little sad to know you didn't get 7 that's what we aim for ... BUT super happy to know you got the CRS score you needed Enjoy! Wish you best for your next steps!

 

[Ranbir_Dhillon]

Thanks, cansha.. waiting for the IELTS scorecard now.... last time I got over excited when i got CLB 9 so now I'll just take the next steps slowly.. till i
actually get the ITA!

@Ranbir_Dhillon - Congrats to you too!

Thank you Best of luck for future.

 

[Ranbir_Dhillon]

Guys I'm extremely happy to see this thread ... three good results ... very proud of @Ranbir_Dhillon and @Tech_girl123 ... I had given some tough feedback in some essays ... But you guys are so positive .. Enjoy this win and all the best for your next steps..

I'm around if you guys need any other help with the process.

Thank you sooooo much @cansha

Your feedback was amazingly valuable, which helped a lot in my real exam.

I will be in touch with you for further process.

I would like to tell all guys on this thread perhaps cansha's or hope's feedback seems tough but Trust me if you take it positively, it will be helpful for you.

Thank you once again

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Thank you sooooo much @cansha

Your feedback was amazingly valuable, which helped a lot in my real exam.

I will be in touch with you for further process.

I would like to tell all guys on this thread perhaps cansha's or hope's feedback seems tough but Trust me if you take it positively, it will be helpful for you.

Thank you once again

the key in your message "if you take it positively"

thanks and congrats for your score.

 

[MaryNguyen]

Disclaimer: As a writer of this thread, I never got more or less than 6.5 in writing.

I am stuck at 6.5 bands in writing, got personal training from ex-ielts examiner, she explained alot, but still no avail, read books/info/tutorials from various ex-examiners, such as ielts-simon.com, Ryan higgins (ieltsielts.com), ielts Liz and many others I can't remember now.

My other maximum scores, Reading: 9 ( in both AC & GT), Listening: 8.5 , Speaking: 7.5, in short: Reading depends on your vocabulary, Listening and Speaking is luck. I admit that my grammar is weak, at least I feel that.

enough about me, Let's Talk business.

in this forum, there are many others like me, So I want to focus only on writing.

Feedback From IDP on writing


This is just a starting, I will add learning material, essays, essay analysis, written essays by me etc.

Let's admit that, we fail at writing and there is no conspiracy theory. Let us work towards improving it.

Please Share writing material, tips, tricks etc.


Post your own essays

I would like to suggest that you should take print out of this pdf file.
its cleared sample answer sheet pdf,
then
write on that, in time bound manner, like in 30 minutes
Click picture of it and post here, then we can check each others mistakes.
Make sure your handwriting is understandable and picture is nice.

 PDF:
https://uploadocean.com/eg22ddhpevxa
https://sendit.cloud/xqcitn78kx1e

I really hope we can work something out here.


Writing Materials

1. IELTS Academic & General Task 2. How to Write at a Band 9 Level (2017) -Ryan Higgins
note: I think this is the best source to know what cohesion and coherence is.

https://sendit.cloud/yxc3cmnc20zb
https://uploadocean.com/gwu8my7znuba

2. Essay Writing for English Tests by Gabi Duigu
note : This book should be your first book to understand what kind of writing they want from you, it was re-printed in 2003, I think this is mother of most of other ielts books, others are spin-off of this one.

https://sendit.cloud/6mjetq4kwjf7
https://uploadocean.com/6vgvszt4d930

3. IELTS Writing General Task 1 - How to write at a band 9 level -Ryan Higgins
note: Precise and clear in less time.

https://uploadocean.com/4aveqeoqi002
https://sendit.cloud/iaod6hvt090n

More material will come..

Dear @hopeandfaith
Would you mind resharing your materials? Those links haven't worked as a long period has passed.
Thank you so much.

 

[Ranbir_Dhillon]

I believe its not a school exam where you need to stick to the topic all the time.....thats what i did.... i didnt....i focused on some good english words and tried to attempt and used some compound sentences and complex sentences and with that i got 7 band... my suggestion is that they are more looking for your english rather than 100% sticking to the topic....hope this was helpful and all the best...

I agree with you to some extent that 100 % is not required but Task achievement criterion is there which forces us to stick to the topic otherwise you would lose marks in this criterion. we cannot go off topic and to answer the question fully is what IELTS task response is all about according to me.

As per your case, it seems you did amazingly well in other marking criteria ( grammar, lexical resources and coherence).

Congratulations for your success

 

[Ranbir_Dhillon]

the key in your message "if you take it positively"

thanks and congrats for your score.

Thanks hope

 

[manishsharma240]

Hi CanSha & Hope&faith, Please could you spare some time to review my below essay, Thanks in advance...

Question – Having more money and less free time is better than having less money and having more time.

Discuss both views & state your opinion.


Introduction – Possessing maximum wealth and having short time is considered more preferable over attaining low income and getting longer idle time, in my opinion, there are pros & cons of both the scenarios.

BP 1 – Although, Being well off would be the first choice of any human being, As it could cater almost all requirements & make their wishes come true, there would not be compromise with anything. One can provide good education to his/her kid, following which, they would have an access to advance technology which could enhance their personal growth, Moreover, Achievement of prestigious status gives immense confidence & satisfaction to oneself which plays a prominent role in improving mental ability, It has been seen that a successful businessman thinks faster & more accurate than an individual with No goals in life. However, Attainment of rich status comes with some negative burden as well where you have no time for the beloved family. Which results no affection towards each other and I believe this as worst side effect of it.


BP 2 – Furthermore, In addition to aforesaid negative aspect of being wealthy, It also has detrimental effect on health, As not being able to fetch adequate time for keeping yourself fit & healthy, Besides the personal loss, As a civilized citizen of a country, every person has some obligation/Accountability towards the nation, However, if lack of enough time then no one could contribute to his/her society for the betterment. For instance, by associating with An NGO, One could render some of their time to underprivileged people which might offer a great contentment to a person.

This above essay concludes with both the positive and Negative impacts which could be perfectly balanced by personal requirements.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Hi CanSha & Hope&faith, Please could you spare some time to review my below essay, Thanks in advance...

Question – Having more money and less free time is better than having less money and having more time.

Discuss both views & state your opinion.

disclaimer first :: remember, there's nothing fixed in ielts, my views are mine, u don't need to agree with them,

this question is broad in spectrum.

Introduction – Possessing maximum wealth and having short time is considered more preferable over attaining low income and getting longer idle time, in my opinion, there are pros & cons of both the scenarios.

good paraphrasing of question, but I think you stated your opinion in a wrong way.
"in my opinion, there are pros & cons of both the scenarios."
these words can be written in any essay, believe me, there's no use of them. they don't add any value.

BP 1 – Although, Being well off would be the first choice of any human being, As it could cater almost all requirements & make their wishes come true, there would not be compromise with anything.
at first this line looks fine, but its very vague, there's no details in it, "almost all " what ? "wishes "which ? "compromise with anything" what again ? - avoid writing like this,

One can provide good education to his/her kid, following which, they would have an access to advance technology which could enhance their personal growth, Moreover, Achievement of prestigious status gives immense confidence & satisfaction to oneself which plays a prominent role in improving mental ability, It has been seen that a successful businessman thinks faster & more accurate than an individual with No goals in life.
this comparison is faulty, -- its not related to money/time - it's out of context.

However, Attainment of rich status comes with some negative burden as well where you have no time for the beloved family. Which results no affection towards each other and I believe this as worst side effect of it.
you are generalizing here, avoid it, you are giving no reason or proof, so its your own statement, avoid it

see there are 4 things in this essay,
more money - less time
less money - more time

you first para is, focused on money, but not enough on time, take balanced approach
2 lines for money, 2 for time, make it balanced.

BP 2 – Furthermore, In addition to aforesaid negative aspect of being wealthy, It also has detrimental effect on health, As not being able to fetch adequate time for keeping yourself fit & healthy, Besides the personal loss, As a civilized citizen of a country, every person has some obligation/Accountability towards the nation, However, if lack of enough time then no one could contribute to his/her society for the betterment. For instance, by associating with An NGO, One could render some of their time to underprivileged people which might offer a great contentment to a person.


This above essay concludes with both the positive and Negative impacts which could be perfectly balanced by personal requirements.

ahhh, one word for this both para is "disaster"

before posting any further essay, I strongly recommend you to read this entire thread from the first post, and read each review 2-3 times to get better hold of everything.

you are wasting your time, believe it, what's the point of making same mistakes as others did in the past.

learn for others, nobody likes to repeat the same over and over, if i am telling you all again, then it would be like giving you personal one to one coaching.

read previous posts and learn from them. before posting anything else.

 

[MaryNguyen]

disclaimer first :: remember, there's nothing fixed in ielts, my views are mine, u don't need to agree with them,

this question is broad in spectrum.

good paraphrasing of question, but I think you stated your opinion in a wrong way.
"in my opinion, there are pros & cons of both the scenarios."
these words can be written in any essay, believe me, there's no use of them. they don't add any value.


see there are 4 things in this essay,
more money - less time
less money - more time

you first para is, focused on money, but not enough on time, take balanced approach
2 lines for money, 2 for time, make it balanced.



ahhh, one word for this both para is "disaster"

before posting any further essay, I strongly recommend you to read this entire thread from the first post, and read each review 2-3 times to get better hold of everything.

you are wasting your time, believe it, what's the point of making same mistakes as others did in the past.

learn for others, nobody likes to repeat the same over and over, if i am telling you all again, then it would be like giving you personal one to one coaching.

read previous posts and learn from them. before posting anything else.

So, Hope, if I write 2 ideas in one paragraph, these two HAVE TO be explained in the same depth? I mean, for example, the same number of words (approximately).
In case of a discussion essay, there is one paragraph (one view) that I only discuss and another that I agree with, do I HAVE TO write the paragraph that is also my opinion longer? (I hope you understand what I mean my writing is complex)