IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[cansha]

Yayy.. Congratulations.

I got magic numbers as well Finallyyy 8777

Thanks @cansha and Hope

Wow congrats to you too!!

 

[cansha]

Guys I'm extremely happy to see this thread ... three good results ... very proud of @Ranbir_Dhillon and @Tech_girl123 ... I had given some tough feedback in some essays ... But you guys are so positive .. Enjoy this win and all the best for your next steps..

I'm around if you guys need any other help with the process.

 

[cansha]

Hello,

Thank you very much for your valuable feedback & welcoming me to the thread. I have read your corrections 5-6 times since morning. I am definitely going to work upon those areas where i am lagging behind. I wish to add here that while writing i was kept having various idea which made me go off the topic, However, I feel that i should make a planning before starting the typing.

You are doing an awesome work by helping others selflessly.

Kind Regards

This happens when you have not brainstormed before starting your essay. Don't just "jump" in to an essay. Take your time. Plan it. Also, try and see difference in the essay question. In your essay there were two things ... or actually three .. cause and effects ... and solutions.

In general I suggest to go with two body paragraphs... But in that particular topic I would have gone with three body paragraphs

BP1: Causes: What is causing widening wealth gap?

BP2: Effects: What are the impacts of widening wealth gap

BP3: My solutions

 

[manishsharma240]

Thank you once again..

Actually, I was under the impression that All these factors have to be in each para, Means, there has to be a blend of all in one Para, Also, I didn't know if i could stretch the essay to 3rd para as well. I am going to try few more different types of questions & Lets Test the water..

Further, Could you perhaps help me with any Book, Website or particular youtuber to go with? because there is hell lot of sources available on internet which confuses me & makes me scratch my head..

Cheers

This happens when you have not brainstormed before starting your essay. Don't just "jump" in to an essay. Take your time. Plan it. Also, try and see difference in the essay question. In your essay there were two things ... or actually three .. cause and effects ... and solutions.

In general I suggest to go with two body paragraphs... But in that particular topic I would have gone with three body paragraphs

BP1: Causes: What is causing widening wealth gap?

BP2: Effects: What are the impacts of widening wealth gap

BP3: My solutions

 

[cansha]

Thank you once again..

Actually, I was under the impression that All these factors have to be in each para, Means, there has to be a blend of all in one Para, Also, I didn't know if i could stretch the essay to 3rd para as well. I am going to try few more different types of questions & Lets Test the water..

Further, Could you perhaps help me with any Book, Website or particular youtuber to go with? because there is hell lot of sources available on internet which confuses me & makes me scratch my head..

Cheers

Your essay structure is determined by the essay question.

On sources, my suggestion is pick one and follow one. More you read ... more you will be confused. I personally followed ieltsliz. I gave you the link in your review.

Also, @H0peAndFa1th had shared a few youtube videos in this forum which were useful. Search this thread and you will see those.

 

[manishsharma240]

Noted. I have also downloaded some Writing TASK 2 Sample Essays with BAND Score 9, I will go through them & see the structure & other key points.

I will also check youtube videos which you have mentioned posted by Hope & faith.

Thanks

Your essay structure is determined by the essay question.

On sources, my suggestion is pick one and follow one. More you read ... more you will be confused. I personally followed ieltsliz. I gave you the link in your review.

Also, @H0peAndFa1th had shared a few youtube videos in this forum which were useful. Search this thread and you will see those.

 

[Akhil Soni]

As some of you may have already know it, Today we have received results of 13 October test, well they came positive for me, finally!

Overall Band: 8.0
Listening: 8.5
Reading: 8.5
Writing: 7.0
Speaking: 7.0

I was waiting for it, kinda frustrated, that was the reason why I was reluctant to review your essays. I hope my journey will help you.

this was my 8th test this year, starting from 6th Jan 2018.

few details,
Listening: It ranged from 7 to 8.5 - never got 9
Reading: It ranged from 7.5 to 9 - mostly 9
Writing: 6.5 in 6 tests, 7 in two, including this one
Speaking: ranged from 6.5 to 8 - even got 6.5 to 7.5 via reevaluation

What inhibited me from achieving the required scores ?

Listening: I think, because this is the first section, nervousness, an agitated state, frustration, I even missed first ones which are the easiest ones. And sometimes because of a map, directions, MCQ, It boils down to your luck. A split second distraction can cost you a half band. For this there's is only one tip, increase the speed of your practice listening tests, and keep listening BBC Radio stations all the time, even in toilet, keep it running beside your pillow while you are sleeping

Reading: I read alot, It helps me calm, I enjoy it, busting IELTS tricks gives me thrill, but sometimes answers are totally vague, you can not be 100% sure.

Speaking: I am not a people person, I avoid strangers, unnecessary talks, conversations, have traits of an Introvert, So even hesitated in first introductory questions, most of the times my two minutes speaking topic was short in length, because it's hard for me to cook-up fake stories, but I always engaged well in Part 3, follow up questions, there are reasons, two part questions, they will keep asking why, and I love answering whys of my views. I speak my mind, and fortify it with examples, reasons etc. Most of the times examiners enjoyed talking to me because I don't cave-in, I always note or keep an eye on their eyebrows, their stressed forehead, inquisitive questions, a state of wondering, more question coming out of my own statements, lengthy conversation of consisting of 12 to 20 questions --- this all tells me, its going fine. If your part is ending quickly, say less than 10 questions or they are not asking questions from your own answers, means you are in a danger zone, some examiners like to cut short, they don't give the time to explain and you end up getting 6.5

Writing: There are many contributing factors for writing section, they vary individually, In-fact this whole thread is about it.
> I was out of practice, wrote nothing substantial by hand in last 10 years.
> My grammar was always weak, still struggling, blame the teachers I have got till 10th standard.
> I think alot before writing a line or sentence, a quest to make it perfect, never got the time to review my essay, even once.
> tendency to digress, said something, then started explaining it, which went south, failed badly in task achievement, wrote irrelevant stuff entirely.
> spelling mistakes, blame my computer for that.

To improve it.
> made myself known to their assessing criteria, mainly Task achievement.
> learned to write longer sentences, complex and compound, a content rich sentences with more meat.
> most Important - write essay under 30 minutes, letter 15 minutes, count words, review it, check articles -spell errors. etc.


well If you are new here, start reading this thread from first post, most of us are making same mistakes and getting same 6.5 bands.


some other thoughts ::

Now some of you heard that - IELTS is a scam, yes surely it is, I have no doubt in this statement.

but this should not deter you from improving yourself, you have to admit/own your mistakes, then improve them all.

is this entirely an English language test ?
nope it is not, they test your IQ and EQ too, your psychology plays great role in this test.
prepare well, trust yourself, be calm, think that you can always come and take this test again, have the budget and mental toughness to go through it, It is a high wall if others can climb it you can do it too.

Consider yourself lucky, if you got 8777 in first attempt, or even in first 3 attempts.

Best of luck to everyone involved in this thread or even reading as a guest,

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Congratulations.

 

[Akhil Soni]

@H0peAndFa1th and @cansha Thanks a lot ! received my results today ! finally got CLB 10 ! Thanks for all the help you two

Congratulations...

 

[Tech_girl123]

Guys I'm extremely happy to see this thread ... three good results ... very proud of @Ranbir_Dhillon and @Tech_girl123 ... I had given some tough feedback in some essays ... But you guys are so positive .. Enjoy this win and all the best for your next steps..

I'm around if you guys need any other help with the process.

Thanks, cansha.. waiting for the IELTS scorecard now.... last time I got over excited when i got CLB 9 so now I'll just take the next steps slowly.. till i
actually get the ITA!

@Ranbir_Dhillon - Congrats to you too!

 

[can_da]

I loved the first line of introduction. It was very nice paraphrasing of the topic line. But overall, I felt the introduction lacked "punch". It was not bad but could have been better if you gave a glimpse of the essay.



I like the idea and flow. I think first line can be avoided and the idea support could be a little better. But, nevertheless it is fine. But, I can see that you can write much better than this.


Ok fine.

Conclusion is weak... doesn't revisit main ideas in the essay.


Okay final comments - You definitely have good command over the language. There are big grammar issues. Your vocab is good.

My suggestions are that work on your structure a bit. So let's take this essay. If you have an essay where you have to argue both sides and give opinion, keep the stronger side towards the end of the essay.

So in this essay you are saying "smarter computers is good". But if you look at body paragraphs. Your paragraph where you argue smarter computers are bad is stronger than your actual opinion paragraph. You give two arguments in that paragraph vs where you argue smarter computers are better.

A better structure in my opinion ( You can disagree and disregard )

Intro

First para ... why smarter computers are bad ... Give one reason

Second para ... mitigate the reason in para 1 by some argument ... add additional reason why they are good ... Now side of good is better than bad

So finally conclude see they are bad for this reason but this reason is mitigated by that reason and in addition we have xyz reason which overall makes smarter computers a much better bet.

All the best!

Thanks Cansha for your detailed feedback, I will work on these areas and be back with stronger content!

 

[Moeedkh]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students?
Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
You should write at least 250 words

Nowadays, many high standard schools ask permission from parents that if they want to receive home work for their kids or they want everything to be done at school. It is a debatable topic that if home work adds any value to the education level of a pupil or it’s just an overwhelming burden on nascent souls. I believe a moderate amount of homework can do wonders for the students, as it serves as a revision and an active engagement method.

According to a research, students can increase their retention by revising notes from a lecture after a short span of time. Best results were observed when revision was done after a short interval of time rather than a long interval. Home work serves as a revision and if pupils do some kind of assignment on the topic, that they have discussed in class, they may remember it for long. For example, if one has taken a lecture on complex numbers, it would be much more effective to do some exercises on them in the evening. This will make them recall the key points in their heads and imbibe them deep into their long term memory.

Moreover, it also engages pupils into the subject in an active manner. For instance, students may have taken the lecture but may have not given enough heed to observe the intricacies of the topic. It is called passive learning. But if they are given an assignment, they will get engaged into the subject and will pay heed to all the minor aspects of the problems.

By and large, homework is mandatory to get the most out of lectures. It omits the need of constant revision and makes oneself attentive to all the niceties of the subject.

 

[Moeedkh]

You are going to visit New Zealand for an 'English and Homestay' program. You have just received details of your homestay host family.
Write your first letter to the family. In your letter

• · introduce yourself
• · ask the family some questions to get information that is important to you
• · tell the family about your arrival date and time

Hi Wilsons,

I am writing this letter to introduce myself as your guest for the homestay program. I am Rodriguez and I am a Mexican by origin. I am coming for an english program and I am pretty enthusiastic about my visit, as it is my first visit to New Zealand.

Since I have never been to your country, I have never experienced the weather situation out there. I have heard that it’s pretty cold! I would like to know that what kind of clothing will be most appropriate for keeping me warm and from where I can buy them. I hope that the heating system of your home is working fine. Besides, it would be great if you can share some weather forecast for the next month. Be informed that I will be arriving on 15th of next month at 3 pm.

Looking forward to have a great time with you.


Your’s Truly

AMK

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students?
Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
You should write at least 250 words

Nowadays, many high standard schools ask permission from parents that if they want to receive home work for their kids or they want everything to be done at school. [irrelevant]

It is a debatable topic that if home work adds any value to the education level of a pupil or it’s just an overwhelming burden on nascent souls.I believe a moderate amount of homework can do wonders for the students, as it serves as a revision and an active engagement method.

it is totally fine without first line, they way you wrote this, I am pretty sure you invested so much time in writing introduction, believe me introduction should be quick and elegant.

if you are wasting time in writing intro, STOP IT.

keep introducing your body paragraphs (it serves as a revision and an active engagement method.)

According to a research, students can increase their retention by revising notes from a lecture after a short span of time.

Best results were observed when revision was done after a short interval of time rather than a long interval.

Home work serves as a revision and if pupils do some kind of assignment on the topic, that they have discussed in class, they may remember it for long.


For example, if one has taken a lecture on complex numbers, it would be much more effective to do some exercises on them in the evening.

This will make them recall the key points in their heads and imbibe them deep into their long term memory.

if I look as a student, I would say wow!!!
but
if you look carefully, from an examiner point of view, mean what he/she is looking for, according to rubrics
then your every line is saying the same thing, just in different words.

you are saying same things over and over. avoid it, add some another point, or make it in a flow, so you don't have to repeat it.
like
statement -> reason -> example -> conclusion

you are already doing it, just not efficiently enough, but still good writing.

Moreover, it also engages pupils into the subject in an active manner. For instance, students may have taken the lecture but may have not given enough heed to observe the intricacies of the topic. It is called passive learning. But if they are given an assignment, they will get engaged into the subject and will pay heed to all the minor aspects of the problems.

english is good, points/reasons are not convincing enough.

By and large, homework is mandatory to get the most out of lectures. It omits the need of constant revision and makes oneself attentive to all the niceties of the subject.

again - english is good, points/reasons are not convincing enough.

examiner is a person, he/she needs to be convinced by your arguments, << that is called task achievement.

if you do not achieve the task - english does not matter at all. < take this point to your heart.

how you can fix it

strategy 1 : explain or mention 2 points for one side in one paragraph - total 4 points/reasons
strategy 2 : explain 3 different points in 3 paragraphs
strategy 3 : which you are failing at - explain 1 point in one paragraph

keep in mind, one paragraph should have one central idea. It does mean that idea should be one, but there could be 2 reasons or explanations for that. you can present one example for any one reason.

work on your task achievement.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

You are going to visit New Zealand for an 'English and Homestay' program. You have just received details of your homestay host family.
Write your first letter to the family. In your letter

• · introduce yourself
• · ask the family some questions to get information that is important to you
• · tell the family about your arrival date and time

Hi Wilsons,

I am writing this letter to introduce myself as your guest for the homestay program. I am Rodriguez and I am a Mexican by origin. I am coming for an english program and I am pretty enthusiastic about my visit, as it is my first visit to New Zealand.

you used 4 "I am" - find a way to use it once or twice. You will make worse mistakes under exam pressure.

Since I have never been to your country, I have never experienced the weather situation out there. I have heard that it’s pretty cold! I would like to know that what kind of clothing will be most appropriate for keeping me warm and from where I can buy them. I hope that the heating system of your home is working fine. Besides, it would be great if you can share some weather forecast for the next month. Be informed that I will be arriving on 15th of next month at 3 pm.

Looking forward to have a great time with you.


Your’s Truly

AMK

used "I" 7 times, bad for you.

again your TA is not fine,

language is vague, not convincing enough.

3 points -need equal word count in your letter, say 40 to 50 words each, its called a balanced approach, otherwise your task achievement will be affected.

I think this letter will not fetch more than 6 band in any case.

 

[Akhil Soni]

Idp 13 October result out. Mine - l-9, r8.5, s 7.5, w6. 5..... Feeling disheartened....