IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[cansha]

Hello cansha,

With regards to your 3rd point, I'm totally agree with this. In addition, when I try to attempt essays, I write my ideas in simple bullet points at first and then try to make it grammatically complex yet simple sentence.
For example :
Suppose essay topic is about private health-cares are better. Firstly, I only write ideas like why they are better.
reasons : (1) quick service (2) better staff (3) advanced machines
Now Writing process starts:
Private health cares are better because they offer quick service and have better staff. ( simple )

Complex (according to me ): Private health cares are better not only for their quick service, but also for world class staff.

And I follow this process in every essay and in letters as well. (but only in practice sessions)

Correct me If I'm wrong somewhere and suggest more tips. Thanks

Agamjot .. you're spot on buddy! The process of going from idea to simple sentence to complex sentence is perfect. However, when I wrote that I was thinking of one step deeper / higher. Let me illustrate it with an example. Let's pick the same topic as yours. So, the topic is

Some people say that private health care is better for people. Others say that healthcare should run by the government.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

When I read the topic I do not form any opinion on the topic. I start with brainstorming and try to think of as many ideas as I can. Also, I don't limit the ideas in terms of their applicability to the topic. So for this topic let's say these are my rough notes

Topic says private vs government healthcare

Healthcare can refer to hospitals so gov vs private hospitals
May be healthcare insurance so govt vs private health insurance
What else may impact healthcare cost? May be government vs private medical colleges?

Okay what is good in private hospitals?
Well maintained .. A/c rooms almost like 5 star hotels, Better doctors and machines, better systems, online booking system, online health records, space for visiting family members, more innovation, multi specialty and super specialty hospitals

What's bad ... May be cost. private organizations are driven by profit, stories of inflated bills, people with less privileged background can't afford them. No private hospitals in rural areas as profits are less

What's good in Government hospitals?
Less cost, available in rural areas, etc. Universal healthcare only possible if government plays its role.

What's bad? They are not clean or well maintained. Bad facilities for patients and visiting family members, less innovative

Can we have only private vs govt healthcare ... may be not. May be a hybrid model where primary healthcare is government and specialty care is private or vice versa.

Okay now I have all the rough ideas... Based on the above ideas I can actually take 5 different approaches to essay structure and introductions

Approach 1: Strongly agree for private healthcare. My intro will have a line like

I strongly endorse the view that healthcare should be privately owned as private organizations are able to attract better talent, drive innovations and maintain high quality standards which are not possible in Government driven institutions.

Approach 2: Strongly agree for Government healthcare. My intro line will reflect that.

I strongly believe that healthcare of a nation should be owned and driven by government as only government can fulfill the dream of universal and affordable healthcare whereas private enterprises are just driven by profit.

Approach 3: Concede that Government healthcare also has benefits but lean towards Private healthcare

In my opinion, although government driven healthcare has benefits like affordable healthcare but in the long run we need innovation and research which will be possible only if private organizations invest in healthcare.

Approach 4: Concede that private healthcare has benefits but lean towards Government Healthcare.

In my opinion, although private hospitals have brought in benefits like better systems and innovation but given that a large population is still struggling for access to basic healthcare, government driven healthcare is more important for society.

Approach 5: Say that private healthcare and government healthcare are equally important

In my opinion, government and private healthcare have an equally important role to play where government should focus on the primary and preventive healthcare whereas private healthcare should focus on specialty healthcare.


Basically, your introduction should set up the essay and make it clear what your "story" is. Hence, the suggestion to practice introduction paragraphs. To be honest these intro lines are not that well written but I just wanted to give an example on how you can have multiple possibilities in the same topic.

 

[cansha]

Hi Guys,

I saw this forum today and I thought it is such an amazing co incidence since I was looking for such help since soo long !!
First of all, hats off guys for taking out time to do this. My exam is on 13th oct and I have to score CLB 10 by anyway since my score is stuck at 438 and I have already given 3 attempts and scored 8887 the last time but have also scored 6.5 and 6 earlier. Since IELTS is soo confusing I have no idea what worked for me ! Pls have a look below question which is a discussion and opinion essay. I also have a doubt that should we place our opinion separately or the way I have written below is correct !

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Although it is believed by some people that issues related to our environment should be solved on a global level,
others believe that it can be resolved better nationally. In my opinion, since the environment degradation is such a huge problem, it should first
be resolved nationally before trying to deal with it on a global level.

See there is nothing wrong with the introduction paragraph. My only suggestion would be to try and learn new ways of writing introduction paragraph. Such writing has become too cliche for IELTS now. But, good thing is you know how to write a typical introduction paragraph in IELTS task 2. It's time to upgrade to next level!

On the one hand, environmental problems is the most globally mooted topic these days, faced by all countries equally.
Some developed countries can resolve it more efficiently due to being technologically advanced and can offer help to the under-developed
nations too. For instance, USA has access to all the cutting-edge technologies ad hence can improve their individual carbon footprints more
efficiently and can also help a country like Ethiopia who will not have access to any technology at in the first place. This way a solution can be
found on a global level, by coming together as one.

On the other hand, it is also true that environmental issue is such a huge problem that it should be solved nationally
first. Each country has a different role in contributing to this issue. For example, in a country like India, social crimes such as bad garbage
dumping practice, public defecation, deforestation, factory residues, inefficient usage of fuel contributes majorly to environmental degradation.
Whereas, in a country like USA , excessive usage of plastic bags and factory wastage contribute to ecological imbalance. In my view, since each
nation has an entirely different role in this huge issue, this situation can only be ameliorated if we resolved it nationally initially and then
compare and correct each other much later.

In conclusion, while it is a great idea to resolve environmental problems globally, it will be solved better and faster
if we first start on a smaller level i.e. Nationally and later help each other out.

Thanks & Regards

Conclusion is a little weak!

Overall, I don't see really big issues with English and Grammar with your writing. I can't offer any suggestions without looking at a few more essays.

My only suggestion for now is to be careful about your conclusion para. It is a little light. If you read it there is no difference in this and the intro last line. Need to have some distinction between intro and conclusion.

 

[Jimmy_McGill]

In this question type :

Smart devices have put all of the world’s information at our fingertips. The benefits
of this development are obvious, but what are the drawbacks?

are we supposed to write the benefits also or just the drawbacks in both the body paragraphs ?

I think both. one paragraph to develop those "obvious" benefits and the second one to unearth the disadvantages, for instance: nowadays almost nobody read newspaper, which lead to newspapers'companies shut down followed by an increase in the unemployment rate. Just wait until the experts have spoken: Cansha and Hope.

 

[cansha]

As always.... please kindly check my essay and point out my weakness. Believe or not, it was a tough topic for me, I have little info to develop ideas in this context. Thanks people.. Gracias totales!!


Prompt:

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus more on producing GM foods.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

Essay:

Indeed a tough topic!

There are around 7.5 billion of humans on Earth today, and counting. It is thought by some that to tackle the great challenge of feeding the increasing world’s population, the community should put all its effort in producing genetically modified foods (GM), with the direct benefit of producing large amount of foods at low cost. However, this kind of food has been related with serious illness including cancer, infertility and accelerated aging.

Very good introduction!

In the light of cost-effectiveness, GM foods is more beneficial than conventional one. GM crops, as reported by The Institute of Food Science and Technology of Spain, are pest resistant and can withstand extreme weather conditions, resulting in less labour needed to produce the crop, which in turn translates into less expenditure and major savings for the farmers. So, there would be double profit: society would have more food at lower price, and the agro-food industry would rise increase its revenue.

Good!

On the down side, most of the ingredients and chemicals used to produce GM foods are considered by the World Health Organization (WHO) as dangerous agents, which may cause serious and chronic diseases. In fact, Spain, in 2015, reported an unusual increase in the number of people with colon cancer, which is strongly associated with a substance commonly found in GM foods. It is for this main reason, that nowadays there is a fierce campaign in the European Parliament to prohibit GM foods production in Europe.

Good!

To conclude, although the production of GM at a great scale would benefit many people, especially those who live in poorer countries, its negative side cannot be ignored, since many people would end up suffering or dying as a consequence of illness caused by its consumption.

(282 words)

Very good!

Reading this essay doesn't give me an impression it was a tough topic for you. This is very well written! Well done!

 

[Moeedkh]

HI Cansha & Hope & Faith,

Now I am starting more targeted preparation. First of all, I am working on introductions now. I've written few Intros and I would be glad to hear your commentary.

61.Business organisations should hire employees for their entire lives.
Do you agree or disagree?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The human resource strategy of Japanese companies can be differentiated from their western counterparts by their unique feature of lifetime employment. In Japan, people join a company for life and they never get laid off, even if they do not perform well. In my opinion, this is the best way to win loyalty of employees and create a specially trained workforce; Moreover, it has social benefits of generating a reliable and meaningful employment for the population.

Type : Agree/Disagree
A : Agree/ Disagree
B: Give reasons

Main Idea 1: so that they can groom employees as per their business requirement and win loyalty
Main Idea 2 : meaningful generate employment


62.Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Somebody rightly said that “ Fashion has a cyclic nature”. It means that a new fashion gets obsolete overnight , then it pops up again after few years and becomes the latest fad. If anyone look at it closely over a horizon of few decades of his life, than he will realize that he has worn the same style again and again in different intervals. I believe, it is impossible to follow ever-changing fashion trends unless one is super-rich or a movie star; Instead, comfort and affordability should be the most important factor in the selections of anyone’s wardrobe.

Type : Agree/Disagree
A: Agree or disagree
B: Give reasons

Main Idea 1 : Fashion designers want to sell their clothes
Main Idea 2 : Comfort should be given priority over appearance. ( functionally perfect)
Main Idea 3 : increased savings



70.Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage.
What are your views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Do you know that India is on the risk of drought by 2025? Which can create a partial famine in the region. Monsoon rains have been reduced to merely 20% in last few years and it has reduced the water level to alarming levels in large reservoirs. This change in pattern of rains coupled with regular heat waves can be attributed to persistent climatic changes, that are currently happening all over the world. As a citizen of the world, we can certainly influence the environment by adopting Eco-friendly lifestyle and habits e.g avoiding unnecessary air conditioning, planting trees and using electric cars and stoves etc.


Type : Discussion Type

A: Your views
B: Give
reasons


Main Body 1 : Car pooling, electric cars, and less honking, electric stoves, plastic shopping bags
Main Body 2: Planting trees and less use of wooden products e.g paperless offices
Main Body 3 : Lesser
air conditioning

 

[cansha]

I think both. one paragraph to develop that "obvious" benefits and the second one to unearth the disadvantages, for instance: nowadays almost nobody read newspaper, which lead to newspapers'companies shut down followed by an increase in the unemployment rate. Just wait until the experts have spoken: Cansha and Hope.

agree with this.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

I think both. one paragraph to develop that "obvious" benefits and the second one to unearth the disadvantages, for instance: nowadays almost nobody read newspaper, which lead to newspapers'companies shut down followed by an increase in the unemployment rate. Just wait until the experts have spoken: Cansha and Hope.

we are not experts, finding faults in other's work is much easier than producing a error free essay, I myself getting my essays checked from Cansha (secretly )

In this question type :

Smart devices have put all of the world’s information at our fingertips. The benefits
of this development are obvious, but what are the drawbacks?

are we supposed to write the benefits also or just the drawbacks in both the body paragraphs ?

I would say its trick question, they rarely come as question, but Its still better if you could just elaborate 3 drawbacks in 3 body paragraphs, yes they will be smaller, one paragraph one idea, less confusion etc.

I will answer like this, easy for me to write on computer.

Advent of technology has tectonically shifted the way we used to access the information in the past, such as accessing the apple pie recipe quickly without finding and referencing the grandma's old hardcover book. Admittedly needed information is just a click away, however, there are hard to ignore downsides which need to be addressed accordingly.


To begin with, children these days have unattended access to smart phones, ipads and computers which enables them to access information freely without any stringent restrictions. Young impressionable minds can easily be lured into unlawful activities such as terrorism, through the specifically designed propaganda to brain-wash them and to change their orientation.


Drug misuse is the most concerned issue worldwide in the last few decades. Information related to growing certain plants and use of simple prescriptions for recreational activities is readily available on the Internet.In fact, even after taking down hundreds of websites, information related to this never disappeared from the face of the Internet.


Another highly debated issue related to use of guns and ammunition is linked infamously to the information on Internet, because a 14 year old, as shown in news, made a pistol with his 3d hobby printer after downloading the handgun schematics from the Internet which successfully fired shots. This is new and rather worry-some use of information at hand.


To encapsulate, there are drawbacks of quick access to information which are not limited to issue discussed above, I personally feel that Internet is acting as a double edged sword, we have come long way from what it was once invented with the intentions in mind.

I guess there are error in phrasing of conclusion. could be some more.

but this approach could fetch 7

could somebody please review my this essay ?

 

[Achillies]

Can anyone please provide the latest GT ielts Task 1 and Task 2 questions?
I want to start the practice with actual questions only because they are closest to what we we will get in the exam.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Moeedkh]

You want to sell some of your furniture. You think a friend of yours might like to buy it from you.
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter
· explain why you are selling
· describe the furniture
· suggest a date when your friend can come and see the furniture

Dear Wilson,

Hope you are doing good. As you might know that I am permanently moving to Canada on immigration and I am disposing off all my belongings in this city. I thought you might be interested in buying my furniture, as you are also marrying soon.

My bedroom set includes a king size bed, a master motlyfoam mattress, a dressing table and a three partition cupboard. Whole furniture is made up of genuine oak wood with fine patterns and finishing. It is still in impeccable condition with non-existent scratches. Few cracks have appeared on the backside of the table, which occurred due to moisture from the bathroom; However, that piece can be replaced easily.

I am attaching few pictures for your quick reference, but you can visit me anytime to inspect it and have a get together before I leave. Let me know if you are interested, so that I can remove the advertisement from local newspaper.

Regards,

AMK

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

HI Cansha & Hope & Faith,

Now I am starting more targeted preparation. First of all, I am working on introductions now. I've written few Intros and I would be glad to hear your commentary.

61.Business organisations should hire employees for their entire lives.
Do you agree or disagree?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The human resource strategy of Japanese companies can be differentiated from their western counterparts by their unique feature of lifetime employment. In Japan, people join a company for life and they never get laid off, even if they do not perform well. In my opinion, this is the best way to win loyalty of employees and create a specially trained workforce; Moreover, it has social benefits of generating a reliable and meaningful employment for the population.

Type : Agree/Disagree
A : Agree/ Disagree
B: Give reasons

Main Idea 1: so that they can groom employees as per their business requirement and win loyalty
Main Idea 2 : meaningful generate employment

please if it asks, agree or disagree, say you agree or disagree, don't write your opinion, because, your opinion could be vague to the topic given, or it could be entirely different if you unluckily misunderstood the topic.

you are giving benefits in an intro, example ?, are you sure this is intro to the topic ?

62.Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Somebody rightly said that “ Fashion has a cyclic nature”. It means that a new fashion gets obsolete overnight , then it pops up again after few years and becomes the latest fad. If anyone look at it closely over a horizon of few decades of his life, than he will realize that he has worn the same style again and again in different intervals. I believe, it is impossible to follow ever-changing fashion trends unless one is super-rich or a movie star; Instead, comfort and affordability should be the most important factor in the selections of anyone’s wardrobe.

Type : Agree/Disagree
A: Agree or disagree
B: Give reasons

Main Idea 1 : Fashion designers want to sell their clothes
Main Idea 2 : Comfort should be given priority over appearance. ( functionally perfect)
Main Idea 3 : increased savings

I like and dislike this intro at the same time,
It says alot,
it says little or nothing about the topic
you missed the topic
Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days
it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes.
what we like and feel comfortable in.

that is the topic, read your intro and see how much it relates to this topic

A rewrite, more focused on the topic
With the presence of multi-national companies and brands available in each country, and a fight for the same pie share of customers has forced these companies to regularly update their fashion trends. Nowadays, they change it so often which lead people to believe that it is a zero sum game to squander money on following these hyperbolic trends. I agree with the view that one should wear simple and comfortable clothes rather than following globalized/international trends.

70.Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage.
What are your views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Do you know that India is on the risk of drought by 2025? Which can create a partial famine in the region. Monsoon rains have been reduced to merely 20% in last few years and it has reduced the water level to alarming levels in large reservoirs. This change in pattern of rains coupled with regular heat waves can be attributed to persistent climatic changes, that are currently happening all over the world. As a citizen of the world, we can certainly influence the environment by adopting Eco-friendly lifestyle and habits e.g avoiding unnecessary air conditioning, planting trees and using electric cars and stoves etc.


Type : Discussion Type

A: Your views
B: Give
reasons


Main Body 1 : Car pooling, electric cars, and less honking, electric stoves, plastic shopping bags
Main Body 2: Planting trees and less use of wooden products e.g paperless offices
Main Body 3 : Lesser
air conditioning

this is not an intro, same problem as above


if these are introductions then you are failing at it.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Watch it people

 

[Jimmy_McGill]

Watch it people

Is this you?

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Is this you?

nope, but he is resonating with my thoughts completely, "everybody else is using it" "don't use boring stuff" etc etc.

use of lines with no or low value etc

watching it right now....

he smashed ielts simon, just made the same comments.... as my signature lol

again recommended the same book from Vietnam writers.

 

[cansha]

Hi,
Cansha and Hopeandfaith.
Kindly evaluate this essay and give your feedback so that I may improve .
Thank you.
TASK 2 : PARAGRAPH
Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology is now replacing their functions. To what extent do you agree\disagree.

It is opined that with the emergence of e-books it is pointless to preserve public libraries. Although arrival of e-books is a positive development, in my perspective, doing away with public libraries is not a prudent approach due to latter’s wider acceptability and economic implications.

Very good intro! I like how you have interpreted the topic and brought in the concept of e-books. Nicely done!

Of course, over the last few years, popularity of reading books with the help of technology such as Mc book pro and PDF files has grown but public libraries still have a larger mass appeal. This can be attributed to the fact that not every strata of our society is techno savvy. Older generation, for instance, prefer visiting libraries to study because they are not familiar with the use of novel technologies to read books. Similarly, availability of online books is questionable specially in rural areas where propagation of advanced technology is still in progress. Thus, public libraries ought to be maintained as it is easily approached by every individual.

Agree with the idea flow here. First line could be written better. But, overall I can follow the idea flow and logic so good!

Further, closing down of the public libraries would have certain economic repercussions. Such a step would create havoc on authors and publishers in particular, who have huge workforce employed with them. Making printed version of books obsolete by shutting down the libraries would create dooms for printing industries and many other businesses associated with them. This will not only create unemployment but also huge financial loss to the government in form of decreased revenues collected.

See this is a tough one to comment. May be someone else can comment too. I don't know how much they are looking at the logic of the idea vs English. See, I think closing down public libraries would mean closing down of publishing houses is just too big a stretch of logic. I don't agree at all.

Also, most public libraries are free for general public so I don't agree with loss of revenue for Government also. So it is a tough one to comment on. English wise no issues but I don't agree with the logic and argument.

In conclusion, while e-books are becoming popular, in my view, public libraries should be persisted with considering their easier availability and financial benefits.

Overall, no big issues with grammar. I really liked how you set up the intro. But I think para three could be better. If it was written better this could have been a great essay. But, this is my personal opinion and you can disagree.

Also, read a few more high band essays and see how they handle the conclusion paragraph.

 

[cansha]

Hello Cansha and Hopeandfaith
I hope you can evaluate my essays for task1 and task2.
for the task 2 I read one of the thread on here, so it is true that I used some of his ideas. (some points just could not leave my brain)

Task1. Something in an airport delayed you and you have missed your flight. Write a letter to the airport's customer service department. In your letter Include:
What delayed you
How missing flight affected you
What you would like the airport to do about your issue

Dear Sir/Madam,

I feel the need to bring to your attention an issue that I had experienced with the way your employee behaves. Please consider this as a formal complaint letter and allow me to elaborate what has happened last Thursday.

Don't "feel the need" just get straight to the point. Please consider this as a formal complaint letter. No need for such a sentence. Keep it simple and set up the letter in the very first para.

I am writing this letter to bring to your attention irresponsible / bad / unprofessional behaviour of one of your employee at XYZ airport. The incidence happened last Thursday, XX Sep at 05:30 PM due to which I missed my flight to XYZ destination.

In real life if you're writing such a letter you would want to give date and time and issue in the very first para of your letter.

When I tried to check my luggage in, the lady at the kiosk whose name was Melisa, she was on her phone. Sorry if I sound harsh but this is a badly written sentence.

Even when I asked her to help me with the bags, she asked me to wait for her to finish texting which was totally not acceptable. Fine

To make it worse, later on she took my passport and left the kiosk and was absent until the announcements were repeating my name for final boarding call. This eventually made me miss my flight and business meeting in Vancouver. Fine

I am expecting you to take immediate action by reprimanding not only Melisa but the members of your team for letting the incident happen. I am also expecting the whole refund for my flight ticket to be issued, as well as some compensation for my missed meeting.

Expecting your prompt action,

PI


Too many "expecting". Just write I expect you to take immediate action ...