IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[H0peAndFa1th]

This is task 1,
you have had problems with a changing room in a sports centre. You have made some complaints but nothing has been done about it.
Write a letter to the manager explaining about
The issues with the changing room?
What has been done about it?
What you want the manager to do?

Dear Sir / Madam ,

I am writing this letter to express my disappointment with your administrative employees who are working in the LA Sports Centre branch, Delhi. They did not completely resolve our complaints which has been notified to them frequently from March 2018 to till date.

[start is good]

Since being a member of the sports branch from 2015,I along with my team practice badminton on regular basis. From last six months, we are facing few issues in the dressing room such as filters in the showers were not functioning as well as broken locks in the doors. So, i had skin disorders due to unfiltered water which made me hospitalise for a few days.

[filters , door locks, hospital - listen, you know exactly what are you writing, what do you mean by that, because it was in your mind, we don't have any clue what's going in your mind, until you tell us about it. so be clear with your ideas, statements, arguments. elaborate them fully ]

We fellow members gave numerous complaints about these problems to the supervisor, but they temporarily fixed with duplicate products [you mean by fake products, or substandard products, duplicate could mean exactly same or just the right thing.] which are not performing in the long run [ bad english ]. They are not showing responsibility to solve this permanently [you don't have to tell this, it already clear, so redundant]. Even after continuous requests, [ repeat ] they did not handle this matter considering the safety of women [women ? how what where ? incomplete idea]. Hence, I am bringing this issue to your notice to rectify it immediately. on looking this kind of irresponsible workers, i am thinking to quit my membership. [repeat, redundant, and bad english ]

On the final call, I would like to request you to investigate this matter by physically present [ bad english] at the mentioned branch and take appropriate actions to replace the old ones. In addition, please advise your authorities to take responsible for their unkindful act .

[illogical, bad english, redundant, does not convey any meaningful message - yes in your mind its a 15 band letter, I know it !!]


I am looking forward for your earliest reply.

Yours faithfully,
John.

6.5 for sure, does not feel like 7,

Main problems,
repeating ideas in different words
writing redundant things again and again, seems to fluff it with words.
content is missing, actual data which could explain the situation, I mean thoroughly, MEAT is missing.
forcing linking, cohesive devices, seems mechanical and unnatural

You probably wondering, what is bad english ??

First: IELTS is judging you against native english users
which entails to check your accent, word choice and the way you say things, especially influence of your first language on English.

what you are doing is called LITERAL TRANSLATION from your mother tongue/language

you are thinking in your first language then translating it in English with exact same phrasing.

but in English or England, people would say the same thing differently.

they may use same words, but placing of words would be different.

moreover, there are things you are saying/using in your first language on daily basis, but in English they don't exist.
so native people would never use that tone or words in that manner.
That's how I know where you come from,


so learn English, don't translate, and simply stop doing it.

 

[Babukumar]

6.5 for sure, does not feel like 7,

Main problems,
repeating ideas in different words
writing redundant things again and again, seems to fluff it with words.
content is missing, actual data which could explain the situation, I mean thoroughly, MEAT is missing.
forcing linking, cohesive devices, seems mechanical and unnatural

You probably wondering, what is bad english ??

First: IELTS is judging you against native english users
which entails to check your accent, word choice and the way you say things, especially influence of your first language on English.

what you are doing is called LITERAL TRANSLATION from your mother tongue/language

you are thinking in your first language then translating it in English with exact same phrasing.

but in English or England, people would say the same thing differently.

they may use same words, but placing of words would be different.

moreover, there are things you are saying/using in your first language on daily basis, but in English they don't exist.
so native people would never use that tone or words in that manner.
That's how I know where you come from,


so learn English, don't translate, and simply stop doing it.

this is a true feed back. Main problem is thoughts are always in my 1st language. What ever the topic is given, mind immediately think of ideas. when trying to write it in english i feel tough. Since i started to take IELTS i found this is a big drawback in me. Especially in writing.
So what you would suggest developing our ideas clearly. Your suggestion would be great help to improve.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

this is a true feed back. Main problem is thoughts are always in my 1st language. What ever the topic is given, mind immediately think of ideas. when trying to write it in english i feel tough. Since i started to take IELTS i found this is a big drawback in me. Especially in writing.
So what you would suggest developing our ideas clearly. Your suggestion would be great help to improve.

google it, how to think in english, youtube has lots of videos on the subject. It will take time, you have to listen conversation between native users

TV shows, movies, talk shows, ted talks, lectures, anything can help.

try to find conversations = talk shows.

 

[pravbang]

Friends, can you please critique this essay and provide a suitable band?

Topic
These days, people work in more than one job and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays, working professionals tend to have more than one job during their lifetime. A recent survey by a famous human resource consulting firm found that, on an average, a person with a college degree will hold five different jobs in his lifetime. While multiple changes in job profile is seen as a positive aspect by some, others feel that this can negatively impact the individual’s professional growth. In this essay, we will explore both sides of the argument and try to draw conclusions.

One of the main positives of working for more than one organisation is that it helps an individual develop a well-rounded personality. This is due to the variety of job roles that the individual takes up. This can make the individual very attractive for organisations that are looking for employees who can take up a broad range of responsibilities. This can also lead to a faster career progression. Another advantage of career change is that it helps the person broaden his social circle since individuals who change careers are invariably connected to a more diverse group of people. This can make the individual more resourceful which will help in many situations.

Turning to the other side of the argument, there is a perception that people who change jobs are not very loyal to their employers. Individuals who work in organisations that harbour such a view will not be able to grow organically within the company. Another major drawback of profession change is that it can be hard for such floaters to imbibe the organisational culture hence they may not be able to adjust to the new way of doing things.

To sum it up, one needs to weigh the pros of career change that includes larger social circle and faster progression, and the cons such as organic growth and cultural adjustment before they change jobs. Personally, I feel that changing jobs will offer newer challenges and improve remuneration provided people can manage the cultural change effectively.

-------
Thanks for your time.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Friends, can you please critique this essay and provide a suitable band?

Topic
These days, people work in more than one job and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays, working professionals tend to have more than one job during their lifetime [fine]. A recent survey by a famous human resource consulting firm found that, on an average, a person with a college degree will hold five different jobs in his lifetime [out of context]. While multiple changes in job profile is seen as a positive aspect by some, others feel that this can negatively impact the individual’s professional growth [out of context, there is no some or other]. In this essay, we will explore both sides of the argument and try to draw conclusions. [irrelevant out of context, there is no argument]

It is very clear that you don't know how to read and process the question, most of you guys are making this mistake, forget band 7

you have to tell advantages and disadvantages of careers changes during someone's lifetime.

can you see your intro in this context ??, sorry I can't see it.

One of the main positives of working for more than one organisation is that it helps an individual develop a well-rounded personality [irrelevant] .This is due to the variety of job roles that the individual takes up. This can make the individual very attractive for organisations that are looking for employees who can take up a broad range of responsibilities [irrelevant - unnecessary fluff]. This can also lead to a faster career progression [then what ?]. Another advantage of career change is that it helps the person broaden his social circle since individuals who change careers are invariably connected to a more diverse group of people. This can make the individual more resourceful which will help in many situations [which situations ?].

one paragraph should contain one idea, where's that ? nowhere.

where are the advantages ?, yes there are but vague and unexplained, so left me wondering.... I use no magical powers when I read essays. you have to tell me everything otherwise I will feel anxious...

Turning to the other side of the argument [it is in your mind- not in question!!], there is a perception that people who change jobs are not very loyal to their employers. Individuals who work in organisations that harbour such a view will not be able to grow organically within the company. Another major drawback of profession change is that it can be hard for such floaters to imbibe the organisational culture hence they may not be able to adjust to the new way of doing things.

english is good, vocab is good, ideas are good, but unexplained, no examples -

To sum it up, one needs to weigh the pros of career change that includes larger social circle and faster progression, and the cons such as organic growth and cultural adjustment before they change jobs. Personally, I feel that changing jobs will offer newer challenges and improve remuneration provided people can manage the cultural change effectively.

-------
Thanks for your time.

you tried to include ideas in conclusion, which is good, but didn't change the words, which is bad, should have used other words to explain the same.

use complex sentences, drop simple and short sentences.
there is 15 sentences total, can you write that same in 12 to 14 sentences ?

this is 6.5, clearly not 7. Getting 6.5 bands is easy as pie, but 7 is a different story my brother...

you problem is you don't know how to answer a advantage and disadvantage essay question, you made it to an argument...

so you better learn all 4-5 question types first. read various questions and their sample answers by examiners.

 

[Babukumar]

google it, how to think in english, youtube has lots of videos on the subject. It will take time, you have to listen conversation between native users

TV shows, movies, talk shows, ted talks, lectures, anything can help.

try to find conversations = talk shows.

Thanks a lot !

 

[pravbang]

It is very clear that you don't know how to read and process the question, most of you guys are making this mistake, forget band 7

you have to tell advantages and disadvantages of careers changes during someone's lifetime.

can you see your intro in this context ??, sorry I can't see it.




one paragraph should contain one idea, where's that ? nowhere.

where are the advantages ?, yes there are but vague and unexplained, so left me wondering.... I use no magical powers when I read essays. you have to tell me everything otherwise I will feel anxious...



english is good, vocab is good, ideas are good, but unexplained, no examples -



you tried to include ideas in conclusion, which is good, but didn't change the words, which is bad, should have used other words to explain the same.

use complex sentences, drop simple and short sentences.
there is 15 sentences total, can you write that same in 12 to 14 sentences ?

this is 6.5, clearly not 7. Getting 6.5 bands is easy as pie, but 7 is a different story my brother...

you problem is you don't know how to answer a advantage and disadvantage essay question, you made it to an argument...

so you better learn all 4-5 question types first. read various questions and their sample answers by examiners.

It is very clear that you don't know how to read and process the question, most of you guys are making this mistake, forget band 7

you have to tell advantages and disadvantages of careers changes during someone's lifetime.

can you see your intro in this context ??, sorry I can't see it.




one paragraph should contain one idea, where's that ? nowhere.

where are the advantages ?, yes there are but vague and unexplained, so left me wondering.... I use no magical powers when I read essays. you have to tell me everything otherwise I will feel anxious...



english is good, vocab is good, ideas are good, but unexplained, no examples -



you tried to include ideas in conclusion, which is good, but didn't change the words, which is bad, should have used other words to explain the same.

use complex sentences, drop simple and short sentences.
there is 15 sentences total, can you write that same in 12 to 14 sentences ?

this is 6.5, clearly not 7. Getting 6.5 bands is easy as pie, but 7 is a different story my brother...

you problem is you don't know how to answer a advantage and disadvantage essay question, you made it to an argument...

so you better learn all 4-5 question types first. read various questions and their sample answers by examiners.

thank you for your feedback.

 

[amancingh]

Kindly evaluate. Words:313
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

Which viewpoint do you agree with?



Companies all over the world are spending big portion of their their budget on advertisements so as to increase sales and popularity among consumers. Many people are of the view that through advertisements we are being forced to buy things that we do not need Whereas others argue that life changing useful products are introduced to us through these advertisements. This essay will discuss both the viewpoints and outline my agreement.

In this fast changing world people tend to get bored with their possessions and new products brought to them by advertisements only add fuel to the fire, which in turn motivate them to buy things. For instance, mobile companies nowadays bring new features to their phones and it is the heavy advertisement that forces people especially young ones to buy them. In addition to that, information is passed quickly through advertisements that make people aware about the new products, and so as to keep themselves updated with the latest trend they end up buying the products that they don’t actually need. Apparels is the perfect example of this trend. Therefore advertisements are playing major role in increased habit of shopping among people.

On the other hand, there is no denying the fact that advertisements help us get to know about the products that turn out to be very useful for us and which we would not have known about otherwise. Health related products are prime example of this. Further, consumers can benefit financially from advertisements by knowing the best priced products as well as convenient places to shop for. Thus it is rightly said that the life of masses have been improved by advertisements.

In conclusion, advertisements have made both positive and negative impacts on human beings. In my opinion, negative impacts of advertisements are not that worrisome whereas advertisements have definitely been live changing experience for consumers as well as companies.

 

[cansha]

Hi Everyone!

I just wanted to give a few pointers on how to approach IELTS writing task. @H0peAndFa1th has given a lot of feedback on various essays and has provided really good pointers. But most people are making same mistakes again.

Before I go any further, just wanted to give my scores in IELTS. I appeared for IELTS only once and my scores were R-8.5 L-8.5 S-8.5 W-7. I personally feel my writing score should have been at least 7.5 but I didn't bother much as I had touched the required figure of 7.

I really did not need any practice for Reading, Listening or Speaking section. But I did spend sometime understanding how writing section is scored and practiced for it. At the end of the day it is an exam. Even if you are a good writer in English you may not score well in IELTS if you do not give the examiner what he is looking for.

So having said that. Below is the process I followed to prepare for IELTS writing test.

1. Understand the task types and type of questions. Please do spend sometime in understanding the Task 1 and Task 2. And spend even more time in understanding various type of questions in Task 2.
For me, Task 1 was not really difficult as we write formal / informal emails all the time in our office. For Task 2 I did spend a lot of time in understanding types of questions. I also read a lot of essays for each type to understand how they are structured differently to each other.

2. Understand what exactly is being tested in Task 2. You all know the four things on which you are being evaluated. Even if you think you know them. Read those 4 criteria again everyday. Remind yourself what is needed to be accomplished.

3. Understand basic techniques of IELTS essays. For example what is expected in introduction, what is expected in conclusion paragraph. How many words are expected?
Some examples are - You should paraphrase the task in your introduction paragraph. You should one idea per paragraph. You should write a clear concluding paragraph
Honestly, I would never write an essay the way I would write for IELTS exam. But again, it's an exam. You give the examiner what he is looking for.

4. Learn what is a complex sentence. Now most of you would have read or seen in some YouTube video that IELTS expects you to write "Complex Sentences". What does a complex sentence really mean. Is it a sentence with a lot of commas and really long in length. No it is not. Please do google and understand the concept of a complex sentence.

5. Revise English Grammar rules. If you think you are not good in English Grammar please spend some time in reviewing a few rules.
A few examples and very common mistakes people do.
You always use first form of very after "did". Learn about concept of parallelism. Learn the difference between when to use whether and when to use If. Learn about conjunctions.

6. Now coming to the actual task of writing Task 2 (I'm not focusing on Task 1 as we all know Task 2 has more weight in scores)
For your first 5/6 essay practice do not try to time yourself. I think one of the common mistakes we do is trying to simulate exam conditions from the very first essay. First you need to train yourself to think in the IELTS way. So for first few essays (and make sure you pick essays from each question type)

• Think about the question being asked. Write down your thoughts.
  
• Organize your thoughts and see if you have a logical path in your essay
• Write the essay
• Review your essay
• Keep making corrections / edits till the time you are satisfied with your essay

You need to do this to first learn how to think about the essay. Once you have done this a few times you can start timing yourself.

7. Try to create an idea bank for your essays. For example have a list of ideas for environment based topics, technology based topics etc.

8. Master a few sentence structure which will help you to write complex sentences or structures. Some examples are ... Not only .... but also, Either ... or , Neither ... Nor etc. You don't need to know many. Even if you know 8-10 and you can use them in your essays you will be fine.

9. Just like idea bank build a vocab bank for yourself. Write 10 words for each category type and try to use them in your essays. Again you don't need to know a lot of words. Even if you know 80-100 good words you will be fine. Believe me learning 100 words is not that difficult. Also you may already know the words which IELTS considers good vocab.

10. Do not just practice without spending time on understanding where you committed mistakes. It is said practice makes perfect. But that is only true if you're practicing right. if you keep practicing and do not correct your old mistakes you are just practicing to commit same mistakes over and over again.

11. Learn the art of reviewing your essays. Once you have done step 6. And you are now practicing with a clock, keep at least 10 minutes to review your work. Use this time to correct mistakes or change sentence structure or make the idea flow better.

I hope some of this will help you! All the best!

 

[pravbang]

friends, i have tried to incorporate feedback from my earlier postings. Please review and critique

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year of between finishing school and going to university what are the advantages and disadvantages?

Taking a year break after finishing high school and before starting college is a growing fad among students. In fact, youngsters who take time off after finishing school use the experiences they gain during the break to strengthen their college applications. While taking such a break has several benefits, there are also some drawbacks.

It is a well-known fact that people, especially teenagers, learn better through experience. Taking a break after completing school help students identify and explore their areas of interest. This will guide them to select the most suitable courses in college thus setting them up for professional success. For instance, young people who travel abroad pick up language skills and cultural sensitivities which will leads them to perform well in their overseas postings.

Another advantage for students who choose to take a break after school is that they can take up temporary jobs that can help fund their college education. This has the dual benefit of exposing the individuals to business environment while helping them establish strong people connects which they can leverage for job prospects after graduation.

Not everything, however, about taking a break after completing school is positive. Some people feel that taking such a break will cause delay in joining the workforce. This leads to lesser work experience and loss of remuneration requiring young people to postpone important life events. Another drawback is that teenagers who fall in bad company during such breaks end up not going to college which will seriously impact their future life prospects.

As we have seen, while breezing through school and university without breaks helps youngsters settle down much earlier, taking a break will expose them to life changing experiences and new skills which they will utilise and cherish throughout their lives.

 

[Babukumar]

kindly provide feedback for this.

Some people think it’s a good idea to wear a uniform at work. do you agree or disagree?


Implementing dress code at work is a never ending debatable issue. While some people consider it is not a best idea, I am of the opinion that uniform at workplace has a significant role to employees.

First and foremost, similar dress to the workers improves efficiency of workers and curtails discrimination. This is to say because they does not have any external distractions like prejudicing other co-worker’s economic status. To illustrate this further , if employers are given personal choice of clothing, they will develop an unhealthy relationship which leads to disputes among them and create chaotic situation. This not only affects the efficiency of people but also the outcome of the organisation’s product and profit. In order to alleviate this, uniform style of dressing at work would promote equality as well as boosts the performance.

Safety and comfort are the other two most predominant factors of uniform dress code. Firstly, in some professions where workers who involve in mechanical and coal industries uniforms are designed with materials which persists heat and hazardous radiations . This provides safety to the people in uncertain conditions whereas other clothes fail to achieve protection. Secondly, considering nurses who are confined to dress in uniform is to differentiate them from patients, also, it is tailored to work flexibly . In fact, uniforms are suggested to identify the profession and classify the employers. Therefore, in my view I support that uniforms indicates the importance of security and comfort.


To conclude, in my opinion the similar style of dressing to the work place is the best in terms of productivity and safety.

 

[Jimmy_McGill]

I'll take the test on October 13. Last time I got score 6.5 overall, W/S just 6, so let's say that this 2 skills are my major problems. Luckily, I'm already living in a spoken English Country, and for the last 11 months I've been working in a call center, where my main tool is my word, so I'm used to speak in English a great amount of time during the week. My aim to 7 in all skills as it's the minimum score required by the organization I'm dealing with. During more than one year, I've spent an average of 45mnts daily reading any kind of reading from scientific research to food labels, this habit has helped -I think- me incredibly to build up vocabulary. So, because my idea is participate actively in the thread, I'd publish or share my practice essays for TASK 2..
Regards!

 

[tbamrah]

Plz assess this

Modern technology has a great impact on our environment. Some say that people should adopt a simple lifestyle to solve this problem, while others argue that the technology itself should provide a solution. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

A number of issues come to mind, when one debates about environment. Out of those, most serious is the harm that modern technology possess on the environment. Some would argue that leading a simple life has the answer to this problem, while some disagree and believe otherwise. I personally believe that technology is developed enough to counter the ill-effects that it poses on the environment, but for the sake of argument, we will enlighten both the statements in this essay.

Although the dependency on modern technology has increased exponentially over the past decade; however, living a life with minimal technological advancements is also not far-fetched. We now know for sure, that the harms that modern gadgets bring with them are pretty adverse. Dangerous radio waves from cell phones is one such example. Using such devices to urgency based rather than making them time killing appliances will ensure such approach. Along with this, the major danger to environment today is due to the increasing number of transport vehicles. The harmful gases that these vehicles emit not only endangers environment and wildlife nearby, but also us humans who inhale such gases on daily basis. Using one vehicle for the whole family and walking once in a while will counteract such effects. But the other side of the coin is also present in this scenario.

With increasing issues related to technological impact, the number of different solution approaches is also increasing. One such approach is using solar energy, cars and gadgets these days use solar energy to power themselves, which can be a boon to our non-renewable resources. On top of that, electric cars these days, are very power efficient with negligible effects on surrounding atmosphere. In addition to this, green fuels have also boomed up in the last two years, mainly in public transports. Using Natural gasses to propel conventional vehicles has resulted in a sudden drop in environmental pollution in many countries. All these alternatives can clearly negate the ills of modern technology.

To sum it up, although there are many opinions pertaining to this issue, but, the modern technology has the key to the solutions that can eliminate such ill-effects on our environment. Using better and improved technology will ensure that both us and the environment can grow hand in hand.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

friends, i have tried to incorporate feedback from my earlier postings. Please review and critique

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year of between finishing school and going to university what are the advantages and disadvantages?

Taking a year break after finishing high school and before starting college is a growing fad among students.
In fact, youngsters who take time off after finishing school use the experiences they gain during the break to strengthen their college applications. While taking such a break has several benefits, there are also some drawbacks.

green and pink means gooooood.
best introduction ever, clearly gunning down for 7

it has lots of meat/content , vocab, sentence structures, phrases, dependent clauses etc etc.

3 sentence = nice

It is a well-known fact that people, especially teenagers, learn better through experience. Taking a break after completing school help students identify and explore their areas of interest. This will guide them to select the most suitable courses in college thus setting them up for professional success. For instance, young people who travel abroad pick up language skills and cultural sensitivities which will leads them to perform well in their overseas postings.

wow amazing, clear logic progression, with example, no stress on mind, OR its just my strong masala tea working..

everything is smooth and natural, nothing is forced or mechanical or fake = feels good
4 sentence = nice

Another advantage for students who choose to take a break after school is that they can take up temporary jobs that can help fund their college education. This has the dual benefit of exposing the individuals to business environment while helping them establish strong people connects which they can leverage for job prospects after graduation.

amazing again. clear, concise, to the point, no fluff/mess etc
2 sentence = damn good.

Not everything, however, about taking a break after completing school is positive. Some people feel that taking such a break will cause delay in joining the workforce. This leads to lesser work experience and loss of remuneration requiring young people to postpone important life events. Another drawback is that teenagers who fall in bad company during such breaks end up not going to college which will seriously impact their future life prospects.

wow, keep writing like that.
4 sentence = good.

As we have seen, while breezing through school and university without breaks helps youngsters settle down much earlier, taking a break will expose them to life changing experiences and new skills which they will utilise and cherish throughout their lives.

one sentence conclusion is a master stroke.

THERE IS NO STRESS in reading this essay at any point, everything is crystal clear.

this essay stands for 8 to 9 bands, YUP this is a good one.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

kindly provide feedback for this.
Some people think it’s a good idea to wear a uniform at work. do you agree or disagree?

Implementing dress code at work is a never ending debatable issue. While some people consider it is not a best idea, I am of the opinion that uniform at workplace has a significant role to employees.

I would suggest, agree or disagree directly, don't confuse reader, with your opinions..

2 sentence

First and foremost [cliche, drop it], similar dress to the workers improves efficiency of workers and curtails discrimination [nice point and vocab]. This is to say because they does not have any external distractions like prejudicing other co-worker’s economic status [explanation is good]. To illustrate this further , if employers are given personal choice of clothing [if sentence = good], they will develop an unhealthy relationship which leads to disputes among them and create chaotic situation [reason = good] . This not only affects the efficiency of people but also the outcome of the organisation’s product and profit [little far fetched]. In order to alleviate this, uniform style of dressing at work would promote equality as well as boosts the performance.

seee blue = they forced and not natural.
overall its a good paragraph, could get 7 but not sure about it.

5 sentence

Safety and comfort are the other two most predominant factors of uniform dress code. Firstly, in some professions where workers who involve in mechanical and coal industries uniforms are designed with materials which persists heat and hazardous radiations . This provides safety to the people in uncertain conditions whereas other clothes fail to achieve protection. Secondly, considering nurses who are confined to dress in uniform is to differentiate them from patients, also, it is tailored to work flexibly . In fact, uniforms are suggested to identify the profession and classify the employers. Therefore, in my view I support that uniforms indicates the importance of security and comfort.

6 sentence

To conclude, in my opinion the similar style of dressing to the work place is the best in terms of productivity and safety.

there are 14 sentences, which is good, but still does not feel like 7, it could fetch 7, but, not sure about it.