Got canada visa refusal, i believe my SOP is strong.

[vish8291]

Hello All,

I have recieved rejection in Canada student visa my academics are quite poor however i find passion in data domain and i have been working as "associate analyst" and "data associate" since last 3 years.

10th : 80%
12th: 48%
Graduation : Electrical engineering 5.9 CGPA (19 backlogs and cleared all)
ILETS : 7 overall no less then 6

Work experience : 3 years as associate analyst and data associate

Course in canada : Analytics for business decsion making in Moahwk collage (1 year).

Visa and Doc info: SDS , my ITR, father bank statement , LOA, My inventstemnt's declareation GIC paid, Fees paid, Work offer letters, salary slips, my bank statement ( Didnt put CA report or father ITR as father is Farmer.)

Refusal reson :
• The purpose of your visit to Canada is not consistent with a temporary stay given the
details you have provided in your application.

• Refused under R216(1)(b). Given the applicant's previous education and/or employment
history, I am not satisfied that the motivation to pursue this particular program at this point in time
in Canada is reasonable.

Someone please help me which things i should change in SOP or which documents i should include?

 

[Naturgrl]

Hello All,

I have recieved rejection in Canada student visa my academics are quite poor however i find passion in data domain and i have been working as "associate analyst" and "data associate" since last 3 years.

10th : 80%
12th: 48%
Graduation : Electrical engineering 5.9 CGPA (19 backlogs and cleared all)
ILETS : 7 overall no less then 6

Work experience : 3 years as associate analyst and data associate

Course in canada : Analytics for business decsion making in Moahwk collage (1 year).

Visa and Doc info: SDS , my ITR, father bank statement , LOA, My inventstemnt's declareation GIC paid, Fees paid, Work offer letters, salary slips, my bank statement ( Didnt put CA report or father ITR as father is Farmer.)

Refusal reson :
• The purpose of your visit to Canada is not consistent with a temporary stay given the
details you have provided in your application.

• Refused under R216(1)(b). Given the applicant's previous education and/or employment
history, I am not satisfied that the motivation to pursue this particular program at this point in time
in Canada is reasonable.

Someone please help me which things i should change in SOP or which documents i should include?

Order GCMS notes. You have an engineering degree and working in the field, and want to take a PG diploma. Program makes no sense and VO doesnt believe it builds on your education or gives you career advancement. What better paying job will you have to justify the costs? Why do you need to come to Canada for a diploma?

 

[vish8291]

Order GCMS notes. You have an engineering degree and working in the field, and want to take a PG diploma. Program makes no sense and VO doesnt believe it builds on your education or gives you career advancement. What better paying job will you have to justify the costs? Why do you need to come to Canada for a diploma?

can i share you my SOP in private and would you review it for me please?

 

[Naturgrl]

can i share you my SOP in private and would you review it for me please?

If you want a review then please post the letter. Should be no more than two pages.

 

[vish8291]

If you want a review then please post the letter. Should be no more than two pages.

Sorry but how can i post a letter?

 

[Naturgrl]

Sorry but how can i post a letter?

Cut and paste

 

[DesiPikachu]

Sorry but how can i post a letter?

Upload to Google Docs, remove private information, and share the link on here

 

[vish8291]

Cut and paste

STUDY PLAN ​

Greeting to the Visa Officer. I, Vishal , received an exciting educational opportunity to pursue the Analytics for Business Decision Making program at Mohawk College. Therefore, I am sharing my study plan which outlines the details regarding my previous academics, reasons to pursue the program in Canada, future plans, and motivation for returning to India after completing the diploma requirements.

Analytics for business decision-making allows business leaders to make decisions based on statistical data. This data information is utilized to inform decisions about the firm's future growth by assessing the market's long-term potential. A huge amount of data is collected and analyzed in business analytics. From this data set, practical implications can be drawn. Computational methods are used to evaluate the data to see if it may be utilized to solve business problems. Regardless of the size of the organization, this information is frequently used to increase sales and productivity. The value of a business analytics strategy is that it allows companies to learn how their company differs from competitors in similar ecommerce platforms by analyzing their latest marketing initiatives.

Summary of Academic Career:

As per the requirements, I put forward my academic history.

I completed my Secondary education (Class 10th) with 80% from xxxx Vidyapith, xxx in 2011 under Gujarat State Education Board (GSEB).

I successfully did my Higher secondary education (Class 12th) from xxx International School with 50% in 2013 under Gujarat State Higher Secondary Education Board (GSHSEB).

Due to my interests in basic programming, mathematics, Electronics, and computers, I opted to for a Graduate degree, Bachelor of Electrical Engineering from Gujarat Technological University. In which I studied subjects related to electricity and computers and performed basic data analysis on electricity consumption data for Gujarat region as a part of my project. Furthermore, I received various academic achievements and awards for my Extracurricular activities. Eventually, I completed my Graduation with a 5.9 CGPA in 2018.

Professional Background:

The turning point in my professional path came in May 2018, when I landed myself an internship at MOTORS LLP. This was an electric vehicle start-up firm, in which I analyzed an electrical vehicle and it’s charging station data from where I started developing a strong interest in data analytics and its role in Decision making process in a business.

Following my internship, I set out to get an experience in the field of data analytics. I was fortunate enough to be engaged as an Associate Analyst, Content Engineering(Data) by xxx Technologies in Gurugram in December 2018. In which I worked directly on the one of the Google's Product “Knowledge Graph”. In this opportunity I was a part of a team who’s given a task to manage, analyze, and interpret large data sets. I merged them into Explorer and Database, and then fed them into Google's Knowledge Panel. In addition, I developed very in-depth process knowledge of locating and understanding rich data sources, handling vast amounts of data, and combining data sources. My contributions contributed to the data sets' uniformity and integrity.

Clients and professionals were given the results of my visions. Another accomplishment in my role came when I was able to save over 25 hours per month by automating redundant data processing operations using Google spreadsheets and Python. This role allowed me to gain experience with a variety of programming languages and tools, including Python, Google Big Query, MySQL, Google Spreadsheet, Tableau, and Google Data Studio.

I continued at Global Logic Technologies until August 2021, when I moved to take on a new challenge at Verisk Analytics and working as a Data associate in its Commodity Data Research team. I utilized Python to edit and analyze commodity data in unstructured forms while working as a Data Associate. This resulted in a 20% reduction in processing time. With the help of Microsoft Power BI, I was able to develop numerous workflow infographics. In addition, to streamline the commodity data workflow across teams, I employed Agile techniques and data-driven decision-making. and I created several SQL scripts and automation to improve various data operations. My findings were presented to my department's global Vice-President. To the company's top leadership, I gave an executive summary outlining the value proposition and plan. I'm still employed by this firm.

My work in the field of business data analytics has been demanding, intriguing, and stimulating. My skills in Data analysis, BI reporting, SQL, Data cleansing, Data-driven decision-making, Data Visualization, Data wrangling, and Email automation have all taken cognizance of my work at both firms. I have reached a stage in my profession when I need to go to the next level. To accomplish this, I will need to pursue more advanced training in Analytics and how analytics influences Decision-making process in every business.

Language Ability:

As for my English Proficiency, I have appeared for the IELTS test and scored an overall band of 7.0 on a scale of 9. Listening: 7.5, Reading: 7.0, Speaking: 7.0, Writing: 6.0

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that this score completely satisfies the language requirement of the reputed Mohawk College. This is evident from the fact that I have received an unconditional offer letter from the same.

To add to that I have completed my bachelor’s Education in the medium of instruction and examination being English. My scores also meet the criteria for the SDS mode of application through which I am placing this request.

Motivation behind choosing proposed program:

Working as an entry-level Data Analyst for the past three years and loving every minute of it, I am now ready to take on more challenging alternatives by climbing the data/business analytics career ladder. To do so, I'll need to pursue a more advanced learning opportunity in this field. The Mohawk College course will teach me how to interpret and deduce digital data. Modeling, analytical programming, and statistical tools will be taught. The curriculum teaches emerging data analysts like me how to use data analytics software and business intelligence for data identification, reporting, consolidation, trending, and modification through experiential learning experiences. Moreover, I will get an opportunity to participate in face-to-face workshops and acquire industry networking chances. I am also looking forward to participating in the Data analytics held by the college.

Two semesters make up the one-year diploma program in Analytics for Business Decision Making. Subjects such as Data Modeling, Applied IBM Business Intelligence, Programming Fundamentals for Business, Database Analytics, Excel for Business Analytics, and Statistics for Business Analytics will all be wrapped in the first semester. The program's second semester will focus on advanced analytics topics such as strategy analysis and planning, project management for business analytics, predictive modeling, and data analytics programming. Through an Analytics Capstone Project, team competition, and computer lab work, the program's experiential learning component will allow me to exhibit my knowledge and competence.

 

[vish8291]

​

Why Mohawk College and Canada:

I have been certain about my ambitions and career aspirations since the beginning. I was Highly interested in pursuing a career in Data and business analytics and the Diploma Program in Analytics for Business Decision Making shortly after started my work at GlobalLogic Technologies. In India, the programming industry is thriving and expanding. According to recent interest, the government considers the programming sector to be important in supporting the Indian economy's upward mobility. The government has launched a number of efforts in this particular area. As this industry grows, there will be more attractive chances to compensate for the gap between necessary standards. All of these disciplines are fundamental as well as sophisticated, and these abilities will be extremely useful to me at the outset of my career and will provide a solid foundation for my professional career in my native country. As a result of my extensive research, I chose to pursue this program at Mohawk College.

Apart from that, I chose Mohawk College expressly for the purpose of learning because of the following crucial aspects: -

Mohawk College is known for its excellent education system with intriguing subjects in their programs.

Aside from that, Mohawk’s Analytics for Business Decision Making program mixes theory with handson experience. In college laboratories, students will be exposed to automated systems and cutting-edge microelectronic applications.

Candidates will also get the opportunity to work on genuine research projects with college professors to develop real-world solutions. As a result of these particulars, I decided to take part in the offered program.



After thorough research and guidance from my mentors I stumbled upon the course offered by the Mohawk College as it had everything that I was looking for in my further studies.

My decision to move to Canada was influenced by a number of considerations. I began by assessing the educational quality, and without a doubt, Canada has a worldwide reputation for intellectual superiority. The next consideration was security. Canada is often ranked among the top 5 safest countries in which to study abroad. Then I considered affordability in terms of living expenses and school fees. I was shocked to hear that, although providing a world-class education, the program's tuition fees are far lower in Canada than in the United States and Australia. And The people of this kind country were the deciding factor in my decision to study here.

Future Plans and Prospects:

According to the Economic Times, AI and Machine Learning investments are rapidly rising in India at a CAGR rate of 33.49%. By the end of 2022, 96% of firms are planning to hire staff with skills and experience in big data analytics. With the demand for data analytics being on an upswing, I plan to capitalize on this career opportunity in India. With my Canadian education, exposure, and previous employment experience, I will easily find a meaningful role as a Data Scientist, Business Analyst, Data Analyst, and Advanced Analytics Processional in my Home country. I hope to work in any of these roles at companies like multinational companies like TCS, Wipro, Infosys, Capgemini.

My long-term plan is to attain a senior or management-level position in the same company as a Senior Analyst, Senior Business Analyst, Data Architect, or Data Engineer. I strongly believe that this course will shape my skills and potential in this field. Additionally, my international education will enable me to negotiate a respectable salary which will help me recoup my academic expenses.

I can acquire the following job opportunities in India after completing the program:

1: Tata Consultancy Services: Data scientist : 14,60,000 INR

2: Capgemini: Data Analyst : 9,81,000 INR

3: Accenture: Business Analyst: 12,90,000 INR

My other motivations for returning to India:

My family is very important to me. They have supported me in all my endeavors. I cannot imagine living apart from them for too long. We also have an immovable property that requires regular management. My qualifications will enable me to seek a competitive salary in India which I plan to use to support my family.

I am a proud Indian who shares close ties to his country, extended family members, and friends. I won’t be able to have this same connection elsewhere.

Due to the booming Indian economy and Prime minister Narendra Modi’s vision to make India a 5 trillion-dollar economy, Immense amount of investment is coming in India through various Global brands, there are many job opportunities in the field of Data and Business analytics. I am looking forward to building a rewarding career in my country. And by doing this, will also give me a chance to become a valuable contributor to an Indian economy.

Available Financial Resources:

My family’s financial condition is quite stable. I have completed the required payment for the full program’s Tuition Fees (CAD 19,000) and GIC (CAD 10,000) from my father’s savings and family’s annual income and I have attached the fee receipts, bank statements, and my Income Tax Returns for the same. The funds available to cover my expenses during my stay in Canada are mentioned below.

First Year’s Tuition CAD 19,000 (Already Paid) and GIC Deposit CAD 10,000 (Already Paid) ● Total finance required for one year of the program CAD 29,000 Moreover, I have the following funds:

Provident Fund Balance INR xxx.00 (approx. CAD xxx)

Investment Account INR xxxx(approx. CAD xxx)

Total Extra Funds CAD 6175.00

Since my program is of only one year and I have paid the whole year tuition fee, I will not need any sponsorship for my further education. My return expenses will be provided by my father as well.

Therefore, I Graciously request you to consider my application and let me be a part of the pedagogical education opportunities that are available in Canada. I will be honoured to be a part of such an esteemed nation as it will bring me one step closer to achieving my goal. In case of any query or of any further requirements please feel free to contact me at xxxxxxx@hotmail.com.

Regards,

Vishal.

 

[vish8291]

Why Mohawk College and Canada:

I have been certain about my ambitions and career aspirations since the beginning. I was Highly interested in pursuing a career in Data and business analytics and the Diploma Program in Analytics for Business Decision Making shortly after started my work at GlobalLogic Technologies. In India, the programming industry is thriving and expanding. According to recent interest, the government considers the programming sector to be important in supporting the Indian economy's upward mobility. The government has launched a number of efforts in this particular area. As this industry grows, there will be more attractive chances to compensate for the gap between necessary standards. All of these disciplines are fundamental as well as sophisticated, and these abilities will be extremely useful to me at the outset of my career and will provide a solid foundation for my professional career in my native country. As a result of my extensive research, I chose to pursue this program at Mohawk College.

Apart from that, I chose Mohawk College expressly for the purpose of learning because of the following crucial aspects: -

Mohawk College is known for its excellent education system with intriguing subjects in their programs.

Aside from that, Mohawk’s Analytics for Business Decision Making program mixes theory with handson experience. In college laboratories, students will be exposed to automated systems and cutting-edge microelectronic applications.

Candidates will also get the opportunity to work on genuine research projects with college professors to develop real-world solutions. As a result of these particulars, I decided to take part in the offered program.



After thorough research and guidance from my mentors I stumbled upon the course offered by the Mohawk College as it had everything that I was looking for in my further studies.

My decision to move to Canada was influenced by a number of considerations. I began by assessing the educational quality, and without a doubt, Canada has a worldwide reputation for intellectual superiority. The next consideration was security. Canada is often ranked among the top 5 safest countries in which to study abroad. Then I considered affordability in terms of living expenses and school fees. I was shocked to hear that, although providing a world-class education, the program's tuition fees are far lower in Canada than in the United States and Australia. And The people of this kind country were the deciding factor in my decision to study here.

Future Plans and Prospects:

According to the Economic Times, AI and Machine Learning investments are rapidly rising in India at a CAGR rate of 33.49%. By the end of 2022, 96% of firms are planning to hire staff with skills and experience in big data analytics. With the demand for data analytics being on an upswing, I plan to capitalize on this career opportunity in India. With my Canadian education, exposure, and previous employment experience, I will easily find a meaningful role as a Data Scientist, Business Analyst, Data Analyst, and Advanced Analytics Processional in my Home country. I hope to work in any of these roles at companies like multinational companies like TCS, Wipro, Infosys, Capgemini.

My long-term plan is to attain a senior or management-level position in the same company as a Senior Analyst, Senior Business Analyst, Data Architect, or Data Engineer. I strongly believe that this course will shape my skills and potential in this field. Additionally, my international education will enable me to negotiate a respectable salary which will help me recoup my academic expenses.

I can acquire the following job opportunities in India after completing the program:

1: Tata Consultancy Services: Data scientist : 14,60,000 INR

2: Capgemini: Data Analyst : 9,81,000 INR

3: Accenture: Business Analyst: 12,90,000 INR

My other motivations for returning to India:

My family is very important to me. They have supported me in all my endeavors. I cannot imagine living apart from them for too long. We also have an immovable property that requires regular management. My qualifications will enable me to seek a competitive salary in India which I plan to use to support my family.

I am a proud Indian who shares close ties to his country, extended family members, and friends. I won’t be able to have this same connection elsewhere.

Due to the booming Indian economy and Prime minister Narendra Modi’s vision to make India a 5 trillion-dollar economy, Immense amount of investment is coming in India through various Global brands, there are many job opportunities in the field of Data and Business analytics. I am looking forward to building a rewarding career in my country. And by doing this, will also give me a chance to become a valuable contributor to an Indian economy.

Available Financial Resources:

My family’s financial condition is quite stable. I have completed the required payment for the full program’s Tuition Fees (CAD 19,000) and GIC (CAD 10,000) from my father’s savings and family’s annual income and I have attached the fee receipts, bank statements, and my Income Tax Returns for the same. The funds available to cover my expenses during my stay in Canada are mentioned below.

First Year’s Tuition CAD 19,000 (Already Paid) and GIC Deposit CAD 10,000 (Already Paid) ● Total finance required for one year of the program CAD 29,000 Moreover, I have the following funds:

Provident Fund Balance INR xxx.00 (approx. CAD xxx)

Investment Account INR xxxx(approx. CAD xxx)

Total Extra Funds CAD 6175.00

Since my program is of only one year and I have paid the whole year tuition fee, I will not need any sponsorship for my further education. My return expenses will be provided by my father as well.

Therefore, I Graciously request you to consider my application and let me be a part of the pedagogical education opportunities that are available in Canada. I will be honoured to be a part of such an esteemed nation as it will bring me one step closer to achieving my goal. In case of any query or of any further requirements please feel free to contact me at xxxxxxx@hotmail.com.

Regards,

Vishal.

I have posted my SOP in 2 parts please review and tell me what should i change in reapplying and should i combine covering letter and SOP in one LOE or i should keep it seperate both?

 

[scylla]

I have posted my SOP in 2 parts please review and tell me what should i change in reapplying and should i combine covering letter and SOP in one LOE or i should keep it seperate both?

You should have a single letter. Don't have both a cover letter and SOP. You should be able to make your case in one letter.

The SOP is too long for me and has unnecessary information that detracts from your main arguments. I would recommend you spend a few days reviewing it, shortening it and taking out information that isn't needed. For example, I don't think the language secion is needed at all. Your language scores aren't exceptionally high and they are obviously enough for your college if they have accepted you. No need to call out the obvious. If you want to say that you have an unconditional offer from the college, you can say that somewhere else in the letter.

Look to shorten the arguments you are trying to make and use clearer words. I feel like people always try to use fancy words and long (run on) sentences when simple and shorter statements are much better. The fancy words can result in something that doesn't make sense. Here's an example of something that doesn't make sense in your SOP. I had to read this three times. You want your SOP to be very clear. The VO most likely won't read anything three times and may just stop reading.

- As this industry grows, there will be more attractive chances to compensate for the gap between necessary standards. All of these disciplines are fundamental as well as sophisticated, and these abilities will be extremely useful to me at the outset of my career and will provide a solid foundation for my professional career in my native country.

This is clear:
- As this industry grows, there will be an increased number of job opportunities in this field. This program will provide me with a solid foundation for a professional career in my native country.

I personally hate it when people bold text in SOPs. It makes it more difficult to read. This would drive me crazy if I was a visa officer. Just my opinion of course.

 

[vish8291]

You should have a single letter. Don't have both a cover letter and SOP. You should be able to make your case in one letter.

The SOP is too long for me and has unnecessary information that detracts from your main arguments. I would recommend you spend a few days reviewing it, shortening it and taking out information that isn't needed. For example, I don't think the language secion is needed at all. Your language scores aren't exceptionally high and they are obviously enough for your college if they have accepted you. No need to call out the obvious. If you want to say that you have an unconditional offer from the college, you can say that somewhere else in the letter.

Look to shorten the arguments you are trying to make and use clearer words. I feel like people always try to use fancy words and long (run on) sentences when simple and shorter statements are much better. The fancy words can result in something that doesn't make sense. Here's an example of something that doesn't make sense in your SOP. I had to read this three times. You want your SOP to be very clear. The VO most likely won't read anything three times and may just stop reading.

- As this industry grows, there will be more attractive chances to compensate for the gap between necessary standards. All of these disciplines are fundamental as well as sophisticated, and these abilities will be extremely useful to me at the outset of my career and will provide a solid foundation for my professional career in my native country.

This is clear:
- As this industry grows, there will be an increased number of job opportunities in this field. This program will provide me with a solid foundation for a professional career in my native country.

I personally hate it when people bold text in SOPs. It makes it more difficult to read. This would drive me crazy if I was a visa officer. Just my opinion of course.

hello scylla thank you for pointing out ill make changes if any other suggations please do let me know.

 

[foodie69]

Way too much bla bla and irrelevant praises that won't impress anyone. Choice of words need re thinking as well. To the point and convincing is key.

 

[Naturgrl]

SOP is too long, too wordy with a lot of information that doesn’t add value and does not give any strong reason to come to Canada. You don’t need to state your education and IELTS scores in SOP as IRCC has the information. Don’t need to list the courses in the program as doesnt add value. Assume you are mid 20s so are you showing any of your own funds? Or all from father? That may be an issue once your receive GCMS. Motivation to return is very weak, as parents aren’t a true reason to return. If it was a spouse and child, then yes. Reason to return is justifying the costs of education with high salary job (do you have one to return too?). Don’t talk about safety and affordability as a reason either.

So overall you need to focus on why the program is important to your career, and show how career goals will justify costs. Show how it builds on your engineering degree.

If refused again, then look at masters programs.

 

[vish8291]

SOP is too long, too wordy with a lot of information that doesn’t add value and does not give any strong reason to come to Canada. You don’t need to state your education and IELTS scores in SOP as IRCC has the information. Don’t need to list the courses in the program as doesnt add value. Assume you are mid 20s so are you showing any of your own funds? Or all from father? That may be an issue once your receive GCMS. Motivation to return is very weak, as parents aren’t a true reason to return. If it was a spouse and child, then yes. Reason to return is justifying the costs of education with high salary job (do you have one to return too?). Don’t talk about safety and affordability as a reason either.

So overall you need to focus on why the program is important to your career, and show how career goals will justify costs. Show how it builds on your engineering degree.

If refused again, then look at masters programs.

i have 19 backlogs i looked for other uni but with that many backlogs they arent accepting in masters that's the issue