Re: Withdraw PR status-we all have options-happianess
Hi, I think I owe this forum an explanation, for people who understand and support me also who expressed different aspects.
Sorry there is no useful information regarding PR status, but we are all human beings and pursuing only one ending-happiness. Allow me.
I love my husband, for the past 8 years, getting him a legal status in Canada was becoming my life goal.Our love was strong,(for him it's a complicated feeling towards Canada I guess,without status for 5 years would cause a deep frustration and sadness,we were together the whole time,didn't see our parents in 5 years) In 2009, he has been forced to leave Canada coz we had a huge fight and he called cops,he said his life in Canada was enough let them take me home. After he left, I quitted my job and went back, during those 2 years I still missed Canada and want to finish what we left.we agreed that I come back first and file the PR application for him. I fully committed. His called me at least 4 times a day,v-chat twice a day,tons of text msg n emails, like normal, I felt his love.Things went well,he got PR in 8 months and came to Toronto in late Oct 2012. I picked him up at Pearson airport T1,will never forget that day, he only smiled slightly to me after 9 months separation. All of sudden,I felt there's something really wrong, in the following days,he talked to me less and less said he does't love me anymore. Same as the story you can find in therapy sites, I shocked/cried/yelled/begged/ no idea why he all of sudden became another person. we both on our annual vacation. 10 days later,we went back to our country,he continued to go to work,refused to talk to me, slept on the sofa,get drunk. I think maybe the visa officer gave him a hard time at the airport so he recalled bad memories. I don't want to lose my family,being with him is the only thing I want. I quitted my job in RBC sold my car transferred my condo in Toronto, thanks all my friends who help me without hesitated.
I stayed at home, cooked every meal and wash his clothes,he said he won't eat as long as I cooked...I cried out loud coz I don't know what I did wrong to deserve this. One evening,he came home in midnight so drunk,I can't help to check his cell phone,my hands were shaky.The conversation was like a prone and he told that girl he cannot force me to get divorce coz I might not handle the sadness and become mentally disability and the law will always protect disabilities so he will never get divorce,that's why he gave me silence treatment and let my heart die and leave him... the girl said she wants to go to U.S. he won't let her said they can go to Canada in the future together...
I am 31 years old,my best 8 years was with him,until that day,I felt my life was a big joke. In the letter I wrote to visa officer when I filed his application: my husband is my life. That's why I felt die inside when he wants to leave me.
annabruce: thanks for pointing out your thoughts.yes I felt unfair and I did tell my husband to cancel his status because I was angry,I later told him this status belongs to him and it's his call.This cancellation will not bring him back. We had those great 8 years and the status was occurred during our marriage was in a good faith.
chipits: thanks for not judging.I do not expect people to be on my side,but appreciate it happens. All my husband's friends even some family members and my friends stays on my side,I guess I did something right.
Now,I told him do not cancel the status,because I feel hurt if he does I don't know why.After two months struggle,I realized that this was it.From the moment on he had an affair with another girl and started to lie to me, no matter how hard I try to win him back,our marriage ends. Truth is I cannot win him back over that girl,coz he loves her now.He never mentions divorce to me,but the way he treats me tells me so. Maybe he wants to leave the respect for me,waits me to say it first.so I will now.
Members, sorry for this long story and it bores you Im sure
Hope everyone of you holds your beloved ones tight,respect his/her willingness. Love also means scarifies,if I did not leave to Canada in 2009, this would not happen...Family is above everything,status is just a tiny step for the happiness.
