taffy7 said:
You are very upset right now and i understand that you are angry with immigration .Souses get refused for many reasons yours is the age gap with is a huge red flag . Be prepared to move to El Salvador with your wife.You may want to keep your options open and wait a few years, then if you both still want to live in Canada apply again .
I have lived here for 28 years and i love Canada but if my husband don't get P.R. i am moving back with him .He is fine about it either way as long as we spend the rest of our life together . Have you talked to your wife about this option. She may not want you to give up your life here.
If my daughter came home with a man 25 years older than her and he was from any country i would have my concerns too about immigration. Huge huge red flag for me personally.
You see taffy7, it's people like you who I have tremendous respect for, and people like your husband too. You know why? Your husband, who is a foreign national, married you because he wanted to be with you, not to get PR, which is a big goal (not necessarily a primary goal) for some people. I've seen many people here who come to Canada after being sponsored, and when their marriage breaks down mutually, they always ask, "How can I keep my PR?", which leads me to believe getting PR status was a big part of getting married to a Canadian. When I told my wife about it, she just laughed a lot and joked about it and said, "Hey if I come to Canada and leave you, maybe I should go on the forum and ask how to keep my PR
". Because you know, she does not give a rat's behind whether she lives in Canada or Vietnam, and neither do I. I'm more than willing to go live in her country if her PR fails, which I highly doubt it will anyway. I love Canada, but I love my wife more.
This is my personal opinion alone, but I feel that a true genuine marriage should mean both the sponsor and applicant should be willing to live in either country, whether the PR application fails or not. I mean if you think about it, what if your spouse was refused PR, do you think that's the right thing to do to divorce them simply because they cannot accompany you to Canada? No of course not, the right thing to do is to march your butt over to where they live and live with them. From the applicant's side, the primary reason for marrying your sponsor is because you want to be with him right? So if the marriage breaks down, wouldn't the logical thing to be to return home?
I just kinda shake my head sometimes when I see couples do not have a Plan B for living in the applicant's country because they're so deadset on living in Canada with no alternative plans. I know it sucks to have a 3rd party judge the genuineness of your relationship, but nothing in life is perfect, and everyone needs to prepare for the worst.
As for you, emarti, I'm sorry about your refusal, but there has to be more to your refusal than just the age difference. They don't just refuse on just one red flag alone, unless it was something extremely serious. You must've had more red flags. Maybe on the interview, your spouse gave contradicting answers. Or your parents did not attend wedding. Or you guys don't have enough relationship evidence, etc etc. It's admirable that you say you're willing to give up Canada to be with your wife, but you also have to see what your wife feels about that. You have to put your personal feelings aside, and just ask your wife straight up, if she's willing to live in her country or not should the appeals fail.
I know sometimes people take things personally when they get a refusal. "Why they say we are not genuine? I know my wife would never marry me for Canada!", and yet they ignore red flags like the age difference, or the fact she has relatives in Canada, is constantly dating Canadians, etc. When people are in love, they tend to ignore all the bad things, and just focus on the good. But at the same time, people need to get their heads on straight and just take a look at the big picture. Why were my wife's last 2 ex boyfriends Canadian? Why does she have so many relatives in Canada, and now she be with me? Why does she not seem happy when we talk about living in her country? She's young enough to be my granddaughter, why would she be interested in marrying an old fart like me? etc
emarti you also talk about the other case where the couple had a large age difference but were accepted. They probably had enough relationship proof to satisfy the officer, passed the interview by answering the questions satisfactorily, and maybe the age difference was their only negative.
Anyway, I wish you good luck emarti, don't need to be so rash with your decision making, just go live with your spouse while the wait time for the appeal is going on. Don't do something so serious as taking your pension, selling your assets and then moving to live with your wife. What if your wife wants to live in Canada and isn't happy with what you're doing? You need to figure this out for yourself, seeing as how much younger she is than you.
And as for you taffy7, I applaud and commend you and your husband for your truly genuine marriage, and as a Canadian, I'm proud to call you my fellow countryman.
