Hey there, to reply to your question, my application took that long because my file was lost or forgotten on a immigration officer table for 6 month. I first filed the applcation while I was on a visit visa in the USA, it started in buffalo, then buffalo order the application should go to Damscus office because I was in the end of my visitor visa, so instead of my file reach Damscus in August 2008, it arrived January 2009...because someone lost it, forgot to send it...we don't know. I start inquiry after 6 month of the date of the AOR I got from Buffalo, I started emailing Damscus office, without any reply from them, which later on was clear...they didn't have my file in order to reply to me. in Damscus my file was approved after 4 month of the AOR, wich is the normal time. About inquirying or not, well I guess after 6 month of an AOR you can inquire, but not to the limit that they will be disturb...after all even if we don't like it, our life is in their hand. About using the PM, we were in the procedure to contact him when I got the Passport request letter. I know it is frustrating being apart from our husband , I have been away for 9 month, it is painful , and yes it can and will effect the relation, so you must watch out to this part of the procedure, I have been there...
Good luck