Victim of Marriage Scam

[ScammedIdiot]

Yes you may have been scammed but you were part of the problem because you thought you could find true love this way. It's good you found out now and not later. Isn't it obvious why these girls join these dating sites and why men join them too? I suppose some find love this way but I am very suspicious of it. There have been quite a few documentaries on these types of arrangements and from what I've seen, they rarely turn out well. How can you possibly communicate over the internet with someone who doesn't even speak your language?

I is not just some dating site. It is an dating club that operates here in Vancouver in which the proprietor setup speed dating and one on one dates with local male and female members. She will setup three or four dates for one of the members. After if no meaningful relationship ever developes with any of the dates, she would introduce a person in China. However before she accompanies you to meet that person, she would try to develope a friendship and trust with you. I was taking to her home and was introduced to her family. I really though that we became friends. She even help me in translating over the phone when I was talking to my wife. I also met other male club members in her home.

 

[ScammedIdiot]

See, here's my issue with this...with all due respect, any rational adult should have seen some alarm bells here, and sorry, but I don't consider this person a "victim". Now he goes and reports this and puts pressure on the CIC to "do more to protect innocent Canadians", the end result? Tighter restrictions, more scrutiny, and longer wait times for those of us in real marriages or worst case, rejection because one box was left unchecked. It's situations like these that complicate things for legitimate families and forgive me, but it's somewhat upsetting.

I don't want to make it any harder for genuine immigrates to come to this country. I just what to prevent her to victimize anybody else. That is why I don't want to go to the authorities before I can find someone else who is also victimize by her. She has been here for ten years. I makes me angry to think that she is making a fortune by riping off hard working Canadians especially enjoying the freedom and generoisty that this country has giving to her. Google search (Top Chinese wealthy wish list to leave China) There are going to be alot more victims to come in the future. Can anyone provide me with link any other forums that deals with MOC frauds in Canada?

 

[Boracay]

I also know of two marriages that were arranged like this, that both seem to be working out fine. In each case a man in his 50s went to Thailand and came back with a teenage wife - a bar girl he essentially bought. Of course it seemed like a scam to everyone who knew him, but I guess the girl figures living with him in a comfortable home in California (the first one) or Calgary (the second) is preferable to her life back home.

The whole Thailand bar girl thing is interesting. A large portion of bar girls have no interest whatsoever to leave Thailand. Most of the girls come from the Isaan region which is much poorer. That class of girls tends to attract the same class of men who might beat her or cheat on her, get her pregnant and leave her etc.

And these girls through all sorts of sophisticated scam get lured into the bar scene. Not to many girls intentionally want to become a prostitute. They get promises that they would just be a waitress. And then through pressure and much needed money they end up as bar girls.

A lot of course are in it purely for the money, but the vast majority have the hopes and dreams that someone will rescue them from their shitty lives and they'll happily fall in love. A genuine love I might add. And when a 50+ year old comes in and is kind to her, the last thing she's thinking about age. It's not greed but rather security as it's also a dream that she can support her family.
And the men who are usually sex tourists come and go, but every once in a while there is a nice guy, albeit older, who is looking for love also.

When I saw such a huge age difference such a terrible thing. But after living in Asia I often, although it's not my cup of tea, who am I to judge? The way they met is surely not so wholesome but I guess as long as they love each other.
I no longer think of all hose relationships as desperate girls trying to get out of their country but rather certain circumstances brought those two together.

I also believe a lot of times if it was the girls choice the man would stay in Thailand rather than the girl going to Canada. They don't want to leave their family, their food, way of life and so on to go to some weird country with no escape from their old man husband!

 

[ddobro2]

There are a few other forums that deal with Canadian immigration in general. As far as the ones that seem to be specific to fraud cases, you can try here: http://immigrationmarriagefraud.ca/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=t8skr976c4qn8a9641mteaud75&board=1.0. There's also an organization called Canadians Against Immigration Fraud. I still say that you should focus your efforts on informing the authorities about this fake agency and its scam.

Can anyone provide me with link any other forums that deals with MOC frauds in Canada?

 

[ScammedIdiot]

There are a few other forums that deal with Canadian immigration in general. As far as the ones that seem to be specific to fraud cases, you can try here: immigrationmarriagefraud.ca/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=t8skr976c4qn8a9641mteaud75&board=1.0. There's also an organization called Canadians Against Immigration Fraud. I still say that you should focus your efforts on informing the authorities about this fake agency and its scam.

Thanks. I like to inform the authorities, but I do not think it will do any good. They receive loads of calls of individual cases of being victimized by fraud. And I don't have any tangible evidence. I feel I would need at least one other person for the authorities to take me seriously.

 

[toby]

Canadianwoman commented that the OP’s Chinese partner (what does “OP” mean, by the way?) might leave him and try to sponsor her ex-husband to Canada would not be allowed under the new proposals for a conditional visa.

 

[locolynn]

Canadianwoman commented that the OP's Chinese partner (what does “OP” mean, by the way?) might leave him and try to sponsor her ex-husband to Canada would not be allowed under the new proposals for a conditional visa.

Original poster

 

[Bangkokcanuck]

I think many are judging the OP from a Canadian standpoint. In many cultures love comes second when it comes to marriage. Men marry in some cultures because they want to start having children. Love is irrelevant.

You are 100% right. As most of the people here that are sponsoring are Canadians they have a very Western point of view when it comes to marriage and the whole true love thing. But LOVE means many different things to different people. Oddly enough I have always thought the western ideal of falling madly in love etc is a poor way to choose a mate. As anything that is so based on such emotion seems so much easier to wane over time. But those that meet and marry based on a less emotional basis tend to go in with eyes open as it were. Not saying either way or ideal is right or wrong just that like anything else in the world we can only judge things with our life experiences but that is all they are OUR experiences, that does not make them the "right" way for everyone.

 

[ddobro2]

When you say you have no tangible evidence, was it simply the fact that she had divorced her husband just before she married you that convinced you that it was a MOC? Because in that case, yeah, maybe there's nothing provably there....you dodged the bullet, although you sure payed a lot before you got to that point.

But I think there's two issues here, the deception of your wife is one thing, but this http://www.citylove.ca/ club, if in fact it is a scam (and judging by the membership prices they have listed on there - $99 for the most basic "service" - and the creepy "new members" chart......I'm guessing there's something fishy going on with it), is another. And I can't imagine that you have absolutely no paper trail when it comes to this "club" and its matron, which you say you spent a lot of time in communication with. I understand that your lack of Mandarin proficiency kept you from understanding a lot of what was going on, but surely there is something documented that would prove the ill intentions of this "dating club." And by the way, I went to the Better Business Bureau's site, just for kicks and giggles, and found they had just 1 complaint, which had been "closed." And there's nothing else about it online that I could find, apart from its own website, which is too bad if this organization really is doing bad or illegal business. At the very least, I'm sure the media would love to hear this story.

Thanks. I like to inform the authorities, but I do not think it will do any good. They receive loads of calls of individual cases of being victimized by fraud. And I don't have any tangible evidence. I feel I would need at least one other person for the authorities to take me seriously.

 

[ddobro2]

Ah, but isn't love more than just an "emotion."? And if it is an emotion, true love isn't the ephemeral feelings that come and go that you're referring to. It's the highest and most sustained emotion humans are capable of. The extreme is unconditional love....reserved for a child or a perhaps a parent. That certainly doesn't wane over time. And to play devil's advocate, I could say that these other, more "rational" bases for marrying (I'm sure you're talking about financial stability, being provided for, sharing a common culture, language and religion with someone) can be fleeting too, as they aren't independent of emotion either. What's to say someone can't wake up one day and change her *emotion* from wanting to be provided for financially, to wanting to be independent and to take that risk of stepping out on her own without that safety net, whatever may come of it? I think that's definitely based on emotion, but it can't compete with love.

As anything that is so based on such emotion seems so much easier to wane over time. But those that meet and marry based on a less emotional basis tend to go in with eyes open as it were.

 

[Bangkokcanuck]

but it can't compete with love.

As I said, to each their own. You don't get to judge what can or can't compete with YOUR view of love to someone else... which was my point.

Perhaps the bigger question is for you, what is LOVE?

I am sure you can ask that of 100 people and get 100 different answers... again that was my point.. what is love to me or to you is likely not the same, but I was unaware there was only ONE accepted way to be in love...

 

[ddobro2]

Well I didn't quite realize the discussion was about different variations of love rather than love vs. other reasons for choosing a partner for "less emotional" reasons, in your words, but perhaps I didn't completely understand your point. My remark was not about there being "one accepted way to be in love" but rather to defend "true love" as something that's not a "fleeting emotion that wanes over time."

As I said, to each their own. You don't get to judge what can or can't compete with YOUR view of love to someone else... which was my point.

Perhaps the bigger question is for you, what is LOVE?

I am sure you can ask that of 100 people and get 100 different answers... again that was my point.. what is love to me or to you is likely not the same, but I was unaware there was only ONE accepted way to be in love...

 

[Bangkokcanuck]

Well I didn't quite realize the discussion was about different variations of love rather than love vs. other reasons for choosing a partner for "less emotional" reasons, in your words, but perhaps I didn't completely understand your point. My remark was not about there being "one accepted way to be in love" but rather to defend love as not a "fleeting emotion that wanes over time."

Of course it is about "different" versions of love. You are talking about a Western ideal of LOVE.. vs. what someone in another culture might consider LOVE to be. Both are love to those people, but not likely would both see the other person's version of love to be what they consider love.

If you read my post again you will see I did NOT say Love was a fleeting emotion that wanes over time, but rather that in MY view it would be easier to be fleeting based on the Western ideal of love... never claimed it would always wane.

When looking at Western culture and what is portrayed as love it is often referred to as being head over heels and can't live without the other person and giving butterflies, etc..etc.. all very emotional and all very poor reasons to choose a mate for the rest of your life, AGAIN IMHO. I would love to see how many people that feel that way with such intensity in the beginning still feel that way in 25 years. Does that mean they no longer are love? Maybe, maybe not, maybe it evolved to something else, something less intense....

Again, ask 100 people what love is to them and you will get likely just as many different answers... so "YOUR WORDS" calling it a fleeting emotion but some people see love as less emotional and more rational.

To each their own.. and good luck to them all.

 

[annabruce]

I actually discussed many times the meaning of love with my parter. Didn't you? I can't imagine marrying anyone who doesn't share my concept of what love is.

 

[dangerJones]

Thanks. I like to inform the authorities, but I do not think it will do any good. They receive loads of calls of individual cases of being victimized by fraud. And I don't have any tangible evidence. I feel I would need at least one other person for the authorities to take me seriously.

Scammed, thanks for starting this topic here. These kinds of con artists are established everywhere and are the reason why legitimate couples have to put up with the insane process of waiting that's currently in place. From the beginning of our relationship, my wife and I knew it would be difficult for the two of us to be together, simply because so many dishonest people had come before us. Each one of us is paying for their misdeeds. That said, I wish you all the best in tracking down others who have been scammed in the same way. Hopefully once the authorities realize there is a problem, they will be able to do something about it; now that there are stricter regulations around unlicensed immigration consultants, maybe they'll have enough clout to put these swindlers behind bars.