wow... very detailed and honest feedback... not many ppl would do that so just in case no one tells u... i appreciate ur repsonse and help brother!!!Hello @knavpreet , I suggest you download and install the free version of grammarly and use other grammar checking softwares like prowritingaid. I'm sure if you google 'free grammar checking softwares' you will find at least a dozen. Put whatever you've written through at least 3 of them and make the suggestions offered.
After that it is better you structure your SoP. You need to address 3 different things that the Visa Officer wants to know -
1. What is your motivation to study the program (Graduate Certificate in Health Care Management) at Northern College in Ontario in Canada.
Why is it not possible for you to study Healthcare Management in India? For example, Lovely Professional University, which is right in your backyard (In Punjab) offers an MBA in Healthcare Management - a 2-year program which is catered to Indian students and is a higher degree than a graduate certificate in Canada. It even offers similar courses (Healthcare IT Systems in Northern College vs Information Management in Healthcare in Lovely Professional University) and these courses teach Indian practices, rules, and regulations; which will be a benefit to you since you state you will return to India and work in the healthcare sector here, albeit in management instead of dentistry. So, how will learning Canadian practices help you here? International exposure aside, there is no value addition.
This is something you need to remedy. Research the courses. Since you say you attended the first semester at Northern College online, how are the courses different from what you've learnt in India during your under-graduation? Talk about the course delivery, the interaction with peers (classmates) and the professors. Talk about how you aim to gain knowledge about difference in practices between India and Canada; which you will work on improving in India once you return. In terms of Northern College, I'm afraid you are at a disadvantage here. It would have made much, much more sense for you to look at an MBA program focusing on health care management or administration at a university instead of a college. Do not quote facts about the college you got off wikipedia, google or facebook. The visa officer is not testing your research skills here. They want to know why Northern College is the best option you considered. How will studying at Northern work better for your career goals than say studying a similar course (Health Care Administration) at St. Lawrence College or Canadore College? The college geography is not important. Neither is its infrastructure or friendly staff or diverse students. Don't make the mistake of mentioning generic stuff like that. How will studying at Northern help you? Talk about that.
2. How does studying in Canada & in Northern College help you with your career goals?
This is a very important question as it ties in with the previous point (Why Canada) and with the next point (Financial ties, Familial Ties, and Opportunities in India). Returning to India and working at a reputed health care organization is good, but mentioning this is not enough. When I looked job opportunities at Healthcare Global Enterprise Pvt. Ltd. on naukri.com for instance, I got pages of different roles. Are you planning on working as a patient care coordinator, or a resident medical officer, a clinic research coordinator, or a medical records technician? Which of these jobs are you qualified for? This will help you explain what role you will take up when you return and will help you justify why you are studying healthcare management in Canada. This is very important.
I can say I will work at Google, Microsoft, Amazon or Accenture in India when I return after completing my masters in Canada. But am I eligible for it? What role am I looking at? Will the masters program in Canada help me achieve that? These are important points I had to mention in my SoP. Company names don't matter as much as clarity in job roles and career options. Define 5-year and 10-year goals and write about them in your SoP. This is very important and will show to the visa officer you are confident and know what you want.
3. Showing financial, familial ties to India
Talk about your family in India, possibly what they do. It is not important, but it will not hurt. This can help the visa officer potentially, to view your parents as human beings, a caring father who works in a bank, supporting his daughter by financing her education (with savings) to help her grow in life. A hard-working mother who juggled being a homemaker and a career as an insurance agent, working part-time while supporting her daughter's education. Humanize them instead of letting them remain the generic father and mother on paper.
In Canada (the US, Europe and most of the western world), parents encourage children to work part-time jobs at a young age, around 16. They get scholarships to college, or try to save money for tuition through hard-work for a few years before they go to college and then university (masters). So in the visa officer's opinion you moving from Himachal Pradesh to Punjab or vice versa will not ring a bell or convince them. I'm sure they won't know the significance of that. You will need to explain why you will return.
--
Using terms like I will eventually open a healthcare organization to service man kind is just plain hilarious, I am sorry to say. Stop trying to portray yourself as Florence Nightingale or Mother Teresa. Using sentences like this will just humor the Visa Officer. It won't convince anyone. Please don't use terms like I believe. It makes you sound unsure.
Instead of saying, I will develop my skills, mention what those skills are specifically. When you are talking about the courses you studied in your first semester, try to mention what you learnt from them instead of mentioning them by name.
Try to incorporate these things and really, really sit down and think through what you want to write. Even after all of this, if you are unable to pen down your goals and do the adequate research, then I'm sorry to say your chances may be slim.
Yes, I know you mentioned more than once that your seniors and batch mates are studying in Northern College or elsewhere, having written possibly the same type, or even worse SoPs, gone through agents like you did. Do you really want to compare yourself to them, instead of working on defining your career? I apologise if I overstepped, but I'm tired of people treating the opportunity to study abroad as a necessity instead of a privilege. Kindly think that through.
I wish you all the best. Good luck!
urgent help required
- Thread starter knavpreet
- Start date
RamSatt
Hero Member
- Mar 8, 2021
- 155
- Category........
- STUDY
- Visa Office......
- Ottawa
- App. Filed.......
- 09-12-2020
- Med's Done....
- 15-11-2020
- Passport Req..
- 17-03-2021
- VISA ISSUED...
- 05-03-2021
- LANDED..........
- 19-04-2021
Thank you so much for your kind words. I went through a lot of stress, with no one to help. I approached a few consultants, but they were not very helpful, so I did everything on my own, including writing the SoPs, researching universities and applying. So I want to be as helpful as possible to other applicants, particularly applicants younger than I am, since I know the stress everyone is going through at the moment.
that is amazing!!! ur doing a great job.. i rlly appreciate it...!!Thank you so much for your kind words. I went through a lot of stress, with no one to help. I approached a few consultants, but they were not very helpful, so I did everything on my own, including writing the SoPs, researching universities and applying. So I want to be as helpful as possible to other applicants, particularly applicants younger than I am, since I know the stress everyone is going through at the moment.
I cannot continue after reading the first few lines. Is it normal to state where you got your Bachelors degree like the way you did? "Thereupon, I got enrolled myself", it almost sounds like you were PUT there forcefully by someone else. And the mention of "first attempt" is totally unnecessary. Most people graduated without repeating their degrees, right? Why do you use the word "inhabitant of"?
I didn't read the rest. It's too much.
Hi what is your advice for older applicants with a large academic gap? I do have relevant work experience, but could you suggest what to write in the SOP to justify studying in Canada as opposed to home country?Thank you so much for your kind words. I went through a lot of stress, with no one to help. I approached a few consultants, but they were not very helpful, so I did everything on my own, including writing the SoPs, researching universities and applying. So I want to be as helpful as possible to other applicants, particularly applicants younger than I am, since I know the stress everyone is going through at the moment.
Thank you so much for your help and time.Hello @knavpreet , I suggest you download and install the free version of grammarly and use other grammar checking softwares like prowritingaid. I'm sure if you google 'free grammar checking softwares' you will find at least a dozen. Put whatever you've written through at least 3 of them and make the suggestions offered.
After that it is better you structure your SoP. You need to address 3 different things that the Visa Officer wants to know -
1. What is your motivation to study the program (Graduate Certificate in Health Care Management) at Northern College in Ontario in Canada.
Why is it not possible for you to study Healthcare Management in India? For example, Lovely Professional University, which is right in your backyard (In Punjab) offers an MBA in Healthcare Management - a 2-year program which is catered to Indian students and is a higher degree than a graduate certificate in Canada. It even offers similar courses (Healthcare IT Systems in Northern College vs Information Management in Healthcare in Lovely Professional University) and these courses teach Indian practices, rules, and regulations; which will be a benefit to you since you state you will return to India and work in the healthcare sector here, albeit in management instead of dentistry. So, how will learning Canadian practices help you here? International exposure aside, there is no value addition.
This is something you need to remedy. Research the courses. Since you say you attended the first semester at Northern College online, how are the courses different from what you've learnt in India during your under-graduation? Talk about the course delivery, the interaction with peers (classmates) and the professors. Talk about how you aim to gain knowledge about difference in practices between India and Canada; which you will work on improving in India once you return. In terms of Northern College, I'm afraid you are at a disadvantage here. It would have made much, much more sense for you to look at an MBA program focusing on health care management or administration at a university instead of a college. Do not quote facts about the college you got off wikipedia, google or facebook. The visa officer is not testing your research skills here. They want to know why Northern College is the best option you considered. How will studying at Northern work better for your career goals than say studying a similar course (Health Care Administration) at St. Lawrence College or Canadore College? The college geography is not important. Neither is its infrastructure or friendly staff or diverse students. Don't make the mistake of mentioning generic stuff like that. How will studying at Northern help you? Talk about that.
2. How does studying in Canada & in Northern College help you with your career goals?
This is a very important question as it ties in with the previous point (Why Canada) and with the next point (Financial ties, Familial Ties, and Opportunities in India). Returning to India and working at a reputed health care organization is good, but mentioning this is not enough. When I looked job opportunities at Healthcare Global Enterprise Pvt. Ltd. on naukri.com for instance, I got pages of different roles. Are you planning on working as a patient care coordinator, or a resident medical officer, a clinic research coordinator, or a medical records technician? Which of these jobs are you qualified for? This will help you explain what role you will take up when you return and will help you justify why you are studying healthcare management in Canada. This is very important.
I can say I will work at Google, Microsoft, Amazon or Accenture in India when I return after completing my masters in Canada. But am I eligible for it? What role am I looking at? Will the masters program in Canada help me achieve that? These are important points I had to mention in my SoP. Company names don't matter as much as clarity in job roles and career options. Define 5-year and 10-year goals and write about them in your SoP. This is very important and will show to the visa officer you are confident and know what you want.
3. Showing financial, familial ties to India
Talk about your family in India, possibly what they do. It is not important, but it will not hurt. This can help the visa officer potentially, to view your parents as human beings, a caring father who works in a bank, supporting his daughter by financing her education (with savings) to help her grow in life. A hard-working mother who juggled being a homemaker and a career as an insurance agent, working part-time while supporting her daughter's education. Humanize them instead of letting them remain the generic father and mother on paper.
In Canada (the US, Europe and most of the western world), parents encourage children to work part-time jobs at a young age, around 16. They get scholarships to college, or try to save money for tuition through hard-work for a few years before they go to college and then university (masters). So in the visa officer's opinion you moving from Himachal Pradesh to Punjab or vice versa will not ring a bell or convince them. I'm sure they won't know the significance of that. You will need to explain why you will return.
--
Using terms like I will eventually open a healthcare organization to service man kind is just plain hilarious, I am sorry to say. Stop trying to portray yourself as Florence Nightingale or Mother Teresa. Using sentences like this will just humor the Visa Officer. It won't convince anyone. Please don't use terms like I believe. It makes you sound unsure.
Instead of saying, I will develop my skills, mention what those skills are specifically. When you are talking about the courses you studied in your first semester, try to mention what you learnt from them instead of mentioning them by name.
Try to incorporate these things and really, really sit down and think through what you want to write. Even after all of this, if you are unable to pen down your goals and do the adequate research, then I'm sorry to say your chances may be slim.
Yes, I know you mentioned more than once that your seniors and batch mates are studying in Northern College or elsewhere, having written possibly the same type, or even worse SoPs, gone through agents like you did. Do you really want to compare yourself to them, instead of working on defining your career? I apologise if I overstepped, but I'm tired of people treating the opportunity to study abroad as a necessity instead of a privilege. Kindly think that through.
I wish you all the best. Good luck!
MAY GOD BLESS U ALWAYS
Which college and program u choose
Ur last academic
I can discuss briefly u in email sandeepsandhu0022@gmail.com
I took admission in one of the suspended colleges of quebec..its been a year now and have not received any decision on my application....so Is it advisable to change college, course and province while study permit application is under review? Has anyone of you done that? If yes, what are the approaches and documents required to update ircc regarding the same? Looking forward for genuine advice.