I'm sure the news is distressing but it's CIC you need to convince. The absence of a "divorce certificate" in itself is
not proof of a dissolution of traditional marriage either. If you understand that, you can begin to see where CIC is coming from. The question becomes, what then can you provide to help satisfy this requirement? I believe two things:
1. help CIC understand traditional marriage in your/your wife's culture. I suspect not doing this initially was a mistake, leaving the officer to interpret things in his own way. The payment of dowry and agreement between 2 families is binding, even if there is no formal paperwork. When a woman drinks that palm wine and her husband drinks it too, it's sealed. They are now husband and wife and can move in together. They don't even have to ever sign a marriage certificate. I think this falls under "customary law" - you may want to look into that and see if it exists in your country and how it could help explain your situation.
2. explain "divorce" in a traditional marriage context - just like there was no legal document for the traditional marriage, there won't be for "divorce". However, there are specific things that must take place for a couple to be considered "divorced". State these things and what was done in your wife's case. It may help to draw their attention to that fact that, you paid dowry and her family can not accept dowry from a 2nd man if they haven't returned what was received from her ex, etc.
You may need letters from the families of your wife, her ex and yours to really clarify the specifics of the dowry. Your family may need to explain how they went about establishing that she was indeed 'single' before paying dowry. Just do all you can to gather additional evidence.
To CIC, it was a marriage and in western context, there is usually a divorce certificate. Your job is to help them understand that though you don't have this document, you have information that still serves this purpose. Hope this helps and things work out well.
As for women not being a commodity... I don't think dowry was ever intended as purchasing a commodity. But without deep understanding of culture, it's easy to think that.
doveheart said:
Thanks Lamour, Thanks FirstLady and Thanks everyone for the moral Support... @ Senoritabella . If no legal document was signed at the time 2 people were entering into a marriage ,it implies that there is no formal agreement btw the two of them .It is an oral agreement and how can anyone proof it ??. if dowry was paid or not, there was no receipt to say , dowry was paid and if it was returned , there was no proof either. My family paid dowry to my wife's family but usually you dont get a receipt to say u pay xoxoxo amount as a dowry. A woman is not a commodity you purchase, you know..... Her ex gave her a notice from the state high court stating categorically that he has moved on with his life and he has re-married that she (my wife) is free to re-marry . This document was included in the application but the VO said that is not a divorce paper . How do you get a divorce paper for a marriage that wasn't formalized?.
Anyways, does anyone knows how long the appeal process takes ???..another endless wait ????.
