Tech Based Relationship

[ZebraJCH]

Hey there. I hope you don't mind if I assault your face with this wall of text. Oh no, it's already too late!

My husband and I are filing for spousal sponsorship because we thought it looked like tons of fun. Also, to live here together forever. I am from the United States, a natural citizen, and my husband is a natural Canadian citizen.

We have been together for 2.5 years, now pretty close to 3. Those two and a half years were in long distance. We met in a chat room on Steam, a digital games distributor and community, and basically we're gamers. We've played games together as well as talked to one another over Teamspeak all day, every day. We have tons of screenshots from games of us being together, about 75, all throughout those two and a half years, and we have a friend online that we also played with who can verify our relationship and has already written a statement saying our relationship is authentic. God, he can't spell, but that doesn't matter!

We also are game developers and programmers, working together on our projects. We have tons to show for it and we have documented both the game footage and the development footage in their own nice, cozy envelopes of the application in a, 'Proof of Relationship' envelope.

When I arrived here in Canada and eventually met my husband's parents, (Fiance then), we got along quite well. Me and my husband had some nice little adventures that both of us failed to document as I didn't have my cell phone with me at the time as those things always start off as simple 'lets just go do this and get back home' -- We had a small marriage outside a City Hall using ribbons that we got for under five dollars as rings. We tied a ribbon onto the other, mine being silver and my husband's being purple because obviously we're not gay enough already. We continued to have some more little adventures and even went to my husband's family gatherings, which there were only two so far as they like to use the holidays for this kind of thing, and I got a few pictures of that. We took what 'real life' photos we could which were about... so far around 35.

All of this stuff is documented in its entirety, development of relationship and also the means of communication we used. I would like to point out a few things.

Most people in long distance relationships use Skype to communicate, however since we are computer people we saw the issues in that. Skype is a bit resource heavy so we preferred to use Teamspeak, but Teamspeak's logs do not monitor who joins or leaves the Teamspeak server, only the days that Teamspeak were up and running. Boot up and shut down. Most people would post Skype logs to the VO but Teamspeak logs of it booting up and shutting down could represent our communications in that I believe.

We have a boat load of E-mails, but no 'instant messenger' logs at all because Steam is incapable of keeping log files. My parents have also both met my husband over Google Talk and they like him tons, especially since we're both into the same stuff.

One of the questions that may be asked is, "Why didn't you visit your husband before moving up with the intention to get your PR?" and to that we both have a strong answer, tickets are expensive holy God. We both have tons to do in long distance so there's no real reason for us to visit the other because that is just a waste of money right there. We're a technology oriented couple so our physical interactions with each other are very basic. Other than small adventures here and there by accident, we don't really make it a point to 'go out and do stuff' because we have TONS to do together at home with our computers.

Hows all this sound to you guys? Weird? Yes, we are weird. But aside from that! We are fully capable of having a relationship purely long distance as physical presence isn't important to us at all and we love each other too much to need a body next to us for it to continue, I just want to actually be there for him so we can experience even more together than we already do. But, if Canada doesn't accept me then I am sure America will accept him. What are your thoughts, guys?

 

[sunsun]

" Together Forever ".....

 

[ZebraJCH]

This forum needs heart icons.

I demand it.

 

[sunsun]

I demand chat rooms .... ;D

 

[Rob_TO]

I think your application will raise a big red flag just due to the fact that you were only a long distance couple for so long, and then were married within only a few months of actually meeting each other. In your specific case considering both of your interests this is perfectly normal... but unfortunately lots of fraudulent marriages to obtain visas happen exactly like this also, i.e. all online relationship, not actually meeting the person until later and then getting a quickie wedding.

Also what will hurt your application is that you don't have any actual chat logs to prove long distance communication. Simply showing a program opening and closing, but with no actual words or correspondence, i'm afraid doesn't really show much. The VO will be looking for snapshots of correspondence over the lifetime of the long-distance relationship to see it developed genuinely. You might be better off including some screenshots of emails back-and-forth that show some development of a relationship.

Your case sounds like it will depend a lot on the VO who happens to open your file. If they are a younger person who is familiar with the online gaming world, they may understand everything you are including. However if you get an older VO who has no clue what online gaming or programming is, or is not really technologically savvy, lots of your proof may go straight over their head. Sorry to say but proof of working on games, projects and showing development footage could sound more like a coworker-relationship than a couple-relationship.

IMO, your application will need to be weighted more to the time since you met in person and got married. So should absolutely include all of the following:
- photos of the wedding, and most importantly of family members and friends attending the wedding. Actually as many photos of you guys with family/friends as possible.
- lots of personal testimonies from family/friends/coworkers stating your relationship is genuine
- show some joint finances, like a shared bank acct, credit card, lease/mortgage etc etc
- have life insurance on each other
- if your husband works for a company here... put you as his dependent for benefits

You even classify your own relationship as "weird"... which means don't be surprised if CIC requests you to attend an interview. Best of luck in your application!

 

[Kayvanblue]

I suggest That you guys keep playing that video games untill the "PR Expansion Map pack" comes out. Chose ontario map, start upgrading untill you get a nice safe house with lots of ammo...snipe lots of Vo's...you guys need a better plan ! Dont forget to upgrade. Bye now

 

[ZebraJCH]

We will be sending a lot of E-mails, essentially all of them that don't contain things too inappropriate.

We also have Google Talk logs that span a whole year, will be including that.

My husband has already put me as a beneficiary a year ago, we already intend to be including that and we have a few photos of us with family.

Originally, we were going to exclude gaming and all of that altogether but then we realized that the VO will want to know what we actually do together as hobbies. If we simply lightly mention, 'play games' then I'm sure that it wouldn't exactly explain why we hardly leave the house.

 

[Sweden]

We will be sending a lot of E-mails, essentially all of them that don't contain things too inappropriate.

We also have Google Talk logs that span a whole year, will be including that.

My husband has already put me as a beneficiary a year ago, we already intend to be including that and we have a few photos of us with family.

Originally, we were going to exclude gaming and all of that altogether but then we realized that the VO will want to know what we actually do together as hobbies. If we simply lightly mention, 'play games' then I'm sure that it wouldn't exactly explain why we hardly leave the house.

there are quite a few gamers on this forum, so you won't be the only one applying for PR after meeting like this! and if it's a shared hobby, and define so much of your life, then include it of course. but as the others have said - you need to include more than a mere explanation, but by the look of things, you seem prepared, so as long as you put your application together well enough, with lots of proofs, you should be fine.
Good luck,
Sweden

 

[ZebraJCH]

Also we have like, Steam sales that we used to gift games to each other.

A lot of you are probably like, "Huh."

Steam sales are, uh, yeah. We bought each other tons of games on very excellent sales as gifts throughout the years and each gift has a little message tied to it, usually something silly or affectionate.

 

[Steph C]

Also we have like, Steam sales that we used to gift games to each other.

A lot of you are probably like, "Huh."

Steam sales are, uh, yeah. We bought each other tons of games on very excellent sales as gifts throughout the years and each gift has a little message tied to it, usually something silly or affectionate.

Gaming sounds like fun. Can you recommend one to try while waiting for PR?

 

[parker24]

I think your application will raise a big red flag just due to the fact that you were only a long distance couple for so long, and then were married within only a few months of actually meeting each other. In your specific case considering both of your interests this is perfectly normal... but unfortunately lots of fraudulent marriages to obtain visas happen exactly like this also, i.e. all online relationship, not actually meeting the person until later and then getting a quickie wedding.

Also what will hurt your application is that you don't have any actual chat logs to prove long distance communication. Simply showing a program opening and closing, but with no actual words or correspondence, i'm afraid doesn't really show much. The VO will be looking for snapshots of correspondence over the lifetime of the long-distance relationship to see it developed genuinely. You might be better off including some screenshots of emails back-and-forth that show some development of a relationship.

Your case sounds like it will depend a lot on the VO who happens to open your file. If they are a younger person who is familiar with the online gaming world, they may understand everything you are including. However if you get an older VO who has no clue what online gaming or programming is, or is not really technologically savvy, lots of your proof may go straight over their head. Sorry to say but proof of working on games, projects and showing development footage could sound more like a coworker-relationship than a couple-relationship.

IMO, your application will need to be weighted more to the time since you met in person and got married. So should absolutely include all of the following:
- photos of the wedding, and most importantly of family members and friends attending the wedding. Actually as many photos of you guys with family/friends as possible.
- lots of personal testimonies from family/friends/coworkers stating your relationship is genuine
- show some joint finances, like a shared bank acct, credit card, lease/mortgage etc etc
- have life insurance on each other
- if your husband works for a company here... put you as his dependent for benefits

You even classify your own relationship as "weird"... which means don't be surprised if CIC requests you to attend an interview. Best of luck in your application!

For the getting engaged/married quickly thing: My husband met me face to face August 14th, 2010. Proposed to me August 17th, 2010, we got married Sept 24 2011. So I don't think that's a big deal.

Just be sure to show that you have a genuine marriage and relationship! I included silly photos of my husband and us to show us having fun together. Plus an old e-mail entitled "Myspace can kiss my white ass"

I have a feeling I'll want to be friends with you Zebra! HAHA

 

[Sweden]

Also we have like, Steam sales that we used to gift games to each other.

A lot of you are probably like, "Huh."

Steam sales are, uh, yeah. We bought each other tons of games on very excellent sales as gifts throughout the years and each gift has a little message tied to it, usually something silly or affectionate.

Fits into the description of "gifts" indeed - you just need to explain a little more ( as you did here!) in case the VO has no idea what you're talking about!

 

[ZebraJCH]

Yep, I've explained how everything developed, why we communicated the way we did, how we're attached to certain things, the context of all images in the games, (I wrote basic context for like, 75 game images and how we worked together since we play co-operative games all the time) and also I will be explaining every single thing I provide as well as our random pictures of each other, occasional family events and us learning how to cook -- I've also explained our little adventures so he or she will have that to peruse for entertainment.

Me and my husband talked about the possibility of an interview and it kind of scares us.

How much would it cost to go there and back? This is our biggest concern. We're both in Vernon, BC so I don't know where we'll have to go, and I'm a United States citizen in case that factors into anything.

What kind of questions would they ask there? I've heard they may try to trick you or screw with your head a bit but since I'm from a police family and pretty well versed on 'worst case scenario' in terms of interviews I don't think I have that to worry about.

Steph C, if you or anyone else are actually curious about games to pass the time while you wait then you may want to visit store.steampowered.com and look around. They're having a sale as we speak so you may find a few things there as long as they fit your tastes and system requirements.

 

[Sweden]

Yep, I've explained how everything developed, why we communicated the way we did, how we're attached to certain things, the context of all images in the games, (I wrote basic context for like, 75 game images and how we worked together since we play co-operative games all the time) and also I will be explaining every single thing I provide. I've also explained our little adventures so he or she will have that to peruse for entertainment.

Me and my husband talked about the possibility of an interview and it kind of scares us.

How much would it cost to go there and back? This is our biggest concern. We're both in Vernon, BC so I don't know where we'll have to go, and I'm a United States citizen in case that factors into anything.


US files are handled by Ottawa since BUffalo office closed last year. They do the first part of the screening and then send it to somewhere else.... in the US. If you indicate that you're staying in BC, they might keep your file in Canada - but the way things work with Ottawa are not very clear for the moment as it's quite a "new" office. However, interviews for US/Can couples are very rare, because there is nothing to gain for a US citizen by moving to Canada, so it would obviously be because you're married... so as long as you prepare well your application and provide all proofs that you are in a genuine relationship (even if unusual in some aspects maybe), then you should be fine, and most of the time no interview is required. IF you're living together now, and can prove that, then it will diminish the risk of interview...

What kind of questions would they ask there? I've heard they may try to trick you or screw with your head a bit but since I'm from a police family and pretty well versed on 'worst case scenario' in terms of interviews I don't think I have that to worry about.if you do get called for an interview, there is a list of "possible questions" somewhere on the forum, so you can prepare for it. But in general - I don't think you should worry. Some questions are very basic ( any real couple would know) and some are more to destabilize the person, but if you're aware of it, and you keep calm and composed, you should be fine.

Good luck!
Sweden

Steph C, if you or anyone else is curious about games you may want to visit store.steampowered.com and go shopping. They're having a sale as we speak so you may find a few things there as long as they fit your tastes and system requirements.

 

[tow75]

I think if you support your application with as much stuff as you can, including explanations about tech based relationships and gaming (like the one you just wrote ;D) then you should be fine. I'd say, include as much stuff as you can. After a year of waiting I believe that there is no such thing as too much.
As someone who had to have an interview recently, I can say that the consequences of having an initial application without enough evidence are NOT FUN. Me and my husband had a four hour interview, and even with all the additional stuff we sent our VO (facebook chats between me and my husband from the last 2 1/2 years, fb chats between me and my mother in law, emails from my parents mentioning my husband and inviting him to visit them on holidays, 150 photos etc etc etc) we'll sure that she'll turn us down. Our application was weak in the first place because we used a consultant, and his secretary assembled our file. She took out half the photos we brought and told us all we needed was a lease to prove we lived together. So don't use a consultant no matter what you do!!! We learned everything about our situation and what to do next through reading this forum.
Good luck!! I'm sure that you'll have a great application and you sound like and awesome couple!!!