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Statement of purpose (SOP) help need URGENT

farizz145

Member
Jun 22, 2016
13
0
Hi all, I recently applied online and got a rejection letter stating that I have not provided my transcripts and my father's employment letter.
Now I have rectified that part, but there is an another reason as well:
You have not satisfied me that you would leave Canada at the end of your stay. In reaching this
decision, I considered several factors, including: (only the purpose of visit is crossed)
travel history
immigration status in country of residence
family ties in Canada and in country of residence
length of proposed stay in Canada
purpose of visit
employment prospects in country of residence
current employment situation
personal assets and financial status.
your history of having contravened the conditions of admission on a previous stay in Canada

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Here is my SOP:

Respected Sir/Madam,
My name is XXXX, and I am currently residing in Saudi Arabia. I have just completed A Levels and have given SAT 1 this May. I received an offer from University of Alberta at the beginning of February 2016, and now I am writing to apply for a study permit in your esteemed country.
I was brought up in a well-educated and intellectual family, and this helped me maintain a consistent and outstanding academic record. Both my parents are perfectionists and have always wanted me to be the best in everything; whether be it sports or studies. During my formative years, they encouraged me to spend most of my time reading books, which helped me gain understanding on a variety of topics; I was especially fascinated at how technology works. I have been a student in "Hala International School"; which is a great "British Curriculum" school for 13 years. From grades 1-9, I always planned to get marks in the higher percentile, and during high school, I managed to secure 4A*'s in IGCSE's, and I am expecting to maintain the same grades in my A Levels Exams.
Since my early age, I have always been curious about how things work, what powers them, etc. My father, who is a telecom engineer, often took me to his office and I saw how things work. This coupled with my penchant for the sciences helped me realize that Electrical Engineering would be an ideal field for my undergraduate studies. So, I applied to University of Alberta and got accepted for an engineering course of four years, which starts on the 1st of September 2016 and ends on 1st September 2020. I have also received a renewable scholarship from the aforementioned university of 1500 CAD.
My purpose for applying for a study permit in Canada is because I want to continue my further studies from a peaceful country with a globally-recognized education system. Furthermore, after consulting with my relatives and my fellow peers who are applying to universities alongside me, and after short-listing two universities in USA, and one in Canada; I am convinced that Canada is a great place for me to continue my studies as it has a great environment for education, the locals are friendly and cooperative, and because its education system is recognized by many employers like Siemens, Saudi Electric Company(SEC), ABB (ASEA Brown Boveri), National Grid in Saudi Arabia.
I chose the University of Alberta in Canada simply because it is a high-ranking university with affordable tuition fees and provides state-of-the-art facilities, great scholarship opportunities and has many positive reviews from its alumni. The professors there are very experienced, and the average class size is perfectly suitable. This would help me easily interact with the professors, and develop a clear understanding of concepts.
I was born and raised in Saudi Arabia, so, I am familiar with its environment and have become fluent in speaking Arabic. After I graduate, I fully intend to come back to Saudi Arabia, without hesitation to put all the principles I have learned into practice. One of the reasons I want to come back is because I want to live with my parents, who have been living here ever since my birth. I love them, and it is my dream to have my parents look over me when I start my professional career and to guide me along every step to my future success as my cornerstone. I am the eldest son in my family, so, it is my sole responsibility to support my father in this elder age.
In addition, in the next few years, Saudi Arabia will start a variety of new development projects like the “Saudi Arabia’s Vision 2030”, "Kingdom wide railway construction", "Makkah development projects", "Jeddah airport expansion"; that will provide good employment opportunities for Electrical & Computer engineers. With a degree from a prestigious university in Canada, I am pretty confident that I will be able to find a great amount of opportunities here in Saudi Arabia.
With all due respect, I submit this application with full hope and confidence that I will get a favorable study permit from CIC, so, that I can complete my further studies in Canada. I believe it is one of the first steps in my future plans. Many thanks for your kind consideration!
 

Imran Humayun

Full Member
Sep 2, 2016
47
1
impressive SOP...

i guess its just luck..... i am also trying to apply in coming fall semester in advance MEP diploma in george brown university.. but i am supporting my self. since i have been working here in saudia from last 8 years
 

forsta

Member
Jul 31, 2016
11
1
Hi farizz, I am in the same position as you are in right now. I was rejected because of not submitting transcripts and also the "purpose of visit". I'm also in Saudi Arabia. I'm going to re-apply a second time, with an improved SOP and complete checklist from the VAC.

I think your SOP is very good, and makes a compelling argument. Good luck with your application! Keep us updated.