Sponsored spouse got really depressed and left Canada... help?

[Huxley1234]

Hi guys, I am looking for support, advice and anyone who has been through something similar.

My SO just got her PR and we packed up our lives in Argentina, and came to finally live in Canada after about 1.5 years of struggling to get our papers.

But as soon as she arrived she was already feeling depressed and unsure. This all escalated into a very serious nervous/mental breakdown and she had to go back home to Argentina to be with family and see doctors. She also didn't want me to come.

Aside from being devastated, I am looking for answers about what to do next.

Has anyone been through something like this? I know moving to Canada is a blessing for some, but for others I am sure it's just a sacrifice for making the relationship work. And now that looks like we didn't know what we were getting in to.

ps: if there are any legal issues I should be concerned about (e.g. do I need to tell CIC?) let me know

Huxley

 

[scylla]

Very sorry to hear this has happened to you.

No - you don't need to inform CIC.

The only legal consequence is that you are responsible for her for three years after landing. If for any reason she returns to Canada during those three years and decides to go on welfare / social assistance - you will be responsible for paying this money back to the government.

 

[zenn]

Sorry to hear about this!

Moving countries is always hard irrespective of whether the person wants to do it or not... It involves being ripped out of your comfort zone and being put in a new environment where EVERYTHING seems different and just not good enough... Regret for leaving the old place behind and fear of never being able to make the new place home gets the better of the strongest of people!
What you basically need to do is give the place time... & that is all your wife needs to understand.. It might take her a while to accept & it will involve a TON of understanding and patience on your behalf... & the support of your family (& hers) back in Argentina... Don't push her and DO NOT make her feel like you are suffocating her.. Just keep your spirits up, keep a positive attitude and maintain contact with her- dont let her shut you out completely..
& when she does agree to come back to Canada try and get her into some sort of social group... Making friends works like magic and helps reducing the fear and loneliness...

Good luck...

 

[gsize]

Very sad story. Many people are unaware of the potential hardships when going through Immigration, especially when it can take a very long time. I would suggest, give your SO space. Time away will hopefully clear things up.

 

[Jamgirl]

I am sorry to hear that this isn't a happy time for the both of you...

I just wanted to throw this thought out to you... I know you have just spent the last year and a half planning your new life in Canada, and I don't know all the details of your personal circumstance, but remember.... if you move to her country, then (I am 99% sure, but look into this if your interested) all of the days you live in her country with her, count towards her residency. Just thought I would throw that out there.... Good luck to you.

 

[scos]

I am sorry to hear that this isn't a happy time for the both of you...

I just wanted to throw this thought out to you... I know you have just spent the last year and a half planning your new life in Canada, and I don't know all the details of your personal circumstance, but remember.... if you move to her country, then (I am 99% sure, but look into this if your interested) all of the days you live in her country with her, count towards her residency. Just thought I would throw that out there.... Good luck to you.

No, the only thing that counts towards residency here is living here. The second you leave the country the meter stops.

 

[BCgirl2012]

No, it doesn't. The partner of a Canadian citizen can accompany him/her abroad and that time will count towards residency obligations.

It will NOT, however, count towards time required for citizenship.

 

[scos]

It was citizenship I was referring to.

 

[BCgirl2012]

It was citizenship I was referring to.

OK.

You mentioned residency though

 

[lunas]

Oh sorry to hear that. Don't give up on her yet. As others said, give her her spec and let her get some mental health. Spending time with her family will be good for her. Let her know you are concerned about her and don't put any pressure or conditions. She will get back to you when she s ready. Talk about productive things. Sometimes some couples are a reflection of themselves like mirrors. Take care of yourself meanwhile she s getting the care she needs.
Culture shock is very common. I can understand somewhat. I got homesick last time I was visiting my husband even though I live in the US. I even got physically sick and lost weight, lol.
So hang in there and take care of yourself.

 

[scos]

OK.

You mentioned residency though

To become Canadian citizens, adults must have resided in Canada for at least three years (1,095 days) in the past four years before applying.

Sounds like a residency requirement to me...

 

[steaky]

Why not making regular visits between Argentina and Canada? Or invite your in-laws to come to Canada to visit you and your so?

 

[BCgirl2012]

To become Canadian citizens, adults must have resided in Canada for at least three years (1,095 days) in the past four years before applying.

Sounds like a residency requirement to me...

Yes, that's true. However, in order to keep the PR status, a permanent resident is obliged to be in Canada for 2 years out of a 5 year period.

So we have two obligations here: one is to keep the PR status, and the other to become eligible to apply for citizenship.
There is nothing a PR can do to get around the residency requirements for the citizenship. They must be physically present in Canada for 3 years out of 4. But remember this might be a secondary priority, if the couple decides to live abroad.
In such a case, when a PR is accompanying his/her citizen partner abroad, days they live together abroad will count towards the residency requirements for the PR. That is the 2 out of 5 years required to keep the PR status. So after the 5 years period is over, (s)he can renew the PR card, but cannot apply for citizenship.

Hope it's more clear now.

 

[BCgirl2012]

Huxley1234, please don't get me wrong, but unless she actually left you, I don't think there's a reason to panic. I'm really sorry it has happened this way. It must be really tough, especially after 1.5 years of trying to get over the immigration barriers.

Culture shock can be a very serious problem, and the added anxiety of immigration and the separation from immediate family can sum up into an incredible amount of stress. Is she having second thoughts about moving to Canada? Maybe you can take it a bit slower. Is she applying for schools/ trainings, etc? Chances are, once she starts feeling connected to the place she lives, things will start to smooth out gradually.

How is she doing now? Do you guys talk? I don't know on which terms she returned to Argentina, but depending on that, I'd say try to make the communication smooth and without pressure. If being in Canada was a shock to her, maybe you guys can give the move talks a rest for week or two. Can you make a trip down there any time soon?

She might be needing some space, true. But I am sure she will appreciate feeling your love and support. I wish you a lot of patience and I hope things resolve sooner.

As for your other question, if you guys are still together, no need to notify CIC.

 

[AnaMaria]

Canada is not the only place to live for you guys. If Canada does not work, you can discuss living in Argentina as you have done. Good luck!