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Social life in Canada vs USA

Mar 27, 2013
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I have lived in both Canada and USA for some time, and Trainspotting, you are very intelligent and insightful. You are spot on when you talk about Canadians in Toronto being highly passive aggressive. I have seen it firsthand. You noticed Canadians are cold to you in that passive, subtle way. You give them warmth, and they don't return it, something a lot of Americans and some Europeans aren't used to. People say Americans and Canadians are exactly the same, but in personality they are as different as night is to day. It probably won't get any better for you. I suggest you move back to the USA or somewhere else, where you can successsfully interact with human people..
Don't listen to the media. The economy, even in the recession, is still better than most places in Canada --with the exception of Alberta. Alberta has very low taxes, and a good economy. You have a Ph D. You could easily find a job, ie an oil-rig based job, and easily make 100 grand a year and much more--but you may end up working long hours in a frozen cold environment, with cold, subtle, banal, passive, complexed Canadians. If you only want very gainful employment, and don't care about the social aspect in Canada, you should check into it.
But if you want to be surrounded by warm, like-minded people who support and nurture your ideas, as you work at a job you enjoy, Canada may not be the place for you. Your talent and creativity will be stifled, you will be endlesly frustrated in your search for identity and belonging, you will never discover your true self. Canada just has too small a population with too many closed-minded, one-dimensional people.
You should probably just hatch an escape plan from Canada. Save up, get out, and save your sanity. Canadian mentality, sadly, is oppposed to greatness. Canadians seem to hate a success story, unlike most Americans, and people from other countries. The whole population of Canada (34 million) could fit into the State of California!
If you are a non-caucasian immigrant from another country, especially an American, you will find Canadians all across Canada (most but not all) like that --subtle and highly passive-agressive unlike anything you have ever seen, anywhere else in the world. The Canadian personality can best be described as smug, complacent, passive-aggressive, subtle, hypersensitive, and risk averse to a fault. Unlike Americans and Europeans, they are colder, and much less likely to engage you directly as a human being. It takes a while to see through Canadians' facade, much longer than a two week vacation.
The American people that don't notice the anti-Americanism in Canada are most likely naive, have something to hide, looking through rose-coloured glasses, or have a Canadian spouse or bf/gf, don't want to be seen as an ungrateful immigrant and just want to fit in.

Most people from around the world don't know anything about Canada. However, if we did know enough about canada, after living there for a short while, seeing through its insidious nature from the media, politics to experiencing the negative and malevolent attributes of a large majority (not everyone but most) of its cold hearted, inhuman people, then we'd begin to see how different they actually are. Canada is actually as different from the USA as night is to day. To sum it up for now, Canada can be a true human beings worst nightmare. Someone who has got zest for life should probably avoid canada. Not to mention, they are inferiority complex ridden to the USA which swiftly extends to virtually the entire world. My good, intelligent friend actaully said that he and many other of the people he knew, found canada to have a degree of subtlety, and passive-aggressiveness that is unconscionable anywhere else in the world.
 
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jokulhaup

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Oct 22, 2012
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This is an interesting post. Obviously, you've written it from an American POV, which may or may not be the same as the POV of someone from a third country.
I'm from India and I find that your assertions carry a lot of truth in them. It's VERY difficult to make friends with Canadians.

When I first came to Canada for enrolling in university, ten years ago, I was amazed at how unwelcome I was made to feel. I tried to make friends but all the people I met fell into 3 categories:

1. Cold and standoffish - the vast majority
2. Ostensibly friendly but only until the end of class/term and then they made it clear they never wanted to talk to me again
3. People who made friends with me. A whopping total of two people, one of whom is himself an immigrant.

So that's actually one Canadian I made friends with in ten years.

My wife who is from Europe told me about one time a Chinese girl enrolled in her university back home. The local students were all over the exotic Asian student and were genuinely interested in befriending her. My experiences in Canada were exactly the opposite. Hell, I even had students forbid me from joining their lab group - no explanations provided. And I shower daily, I don't smell and I have good manners. There is no obvious explanation apart from pure racism.

Another thing I've noticed is that some immigrants are no doubt racist and refuse to make friends with Canadians. But we are *all* typecast that way, and those of us who try to break down that stereotype are forcefully shoved back into it. I had some people ask me, "Why don't you make friends with other Indians"?. And then they wonder why immigrants develop a shell and withdraw into their ethnic enclaves. I never viewed myself or others in terms of my ethnicity, race or nationality when I first arrived here. But most Canadians only see that, and that is all they consider when evaluating a person. Personality does not matter one whit.
 

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- Stereotyping of Canada, check
- Stereotyping of the US, check
- Stereotyping of an entire continent filled with different nationalities (Europe), check

I can't imagine why you might have trouble finding friends..
 

ADUFE

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jokulhaup said:
This is an interesting post. Obviously, you've written it from an American POV, which may or may not be the same as the POV of someone from a third country.
I'm from India and I find that your assertions carry a lot of truth in them. It's VERY difficult to make friends with Canadians.

When I first came to Canada for enrolling in university, ten years ago, I was amazed at how unwelcome I was made to feel. I tried to make friends but all the people I met fell into 3 categories:

1. Cold and standoffish - the vast majority
2. Ostensibly friendly but only until the end of class/term and then they made it clear they never wanted to talk to me again
3. People who made friends with me. A whopping total of two people, one of whom is himself an immigrant.

So that's actually one Canadian I made friends with in ten years.

My wife who is from Europe told me about one time a Chinese girl enrolled in her university back home. The local students were all over the exotic Asian student and were genuinely interested in befriending her. My experiences in Canada were exactly the opposite. Hell, I even had students forbid me from joining their lab group - no explanations provided. And I shower daily, I don't smell and I have good manners. There is no obvious explanation apart from pure racism.

Another thing I've noticed is that some immigrants are no doubt racist and refuse to make friends with Canadians. But we are *all* typecast that way, and those of us who try to break down that stereotype are forcefully shoved back into it. I had some people ask me, "Why don't you make friends with other Indians"?. And then they wonder why immigrants develop a shell and withdraw into their ethnic enclaves. I never viewed myself or others in terms of my ethnicity, race or nationality when I first arrived here. But most Canadians only see that, and that is all they consider when evaluating a person. Personality does not matter one whit.
Very well said!
 

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Bargeld said:
- Stereotyping of Canada, check
- Stereotyping of the US, check
- Stereotyping of an entire continent filled with different nationalities (Europe), check

I can't imagine why you might have trouble finding friends..
+ 1


and for the record: "Canadians seem to hate a success story, unlike most Americans, and people from other countries." For one- everyone is different, no matter where you are from, but maybe it not that they hate a success story, maybe it's that they are possibly being modest?

Inhumane, cold and passive aggressive is the way you see it? You may have to take a look in the mirror and access your own social skills before attacking an entire nation! :p
 

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Funny, I find most Americans' (NOT ALL... just most) to be ignorant, arrogant pr**ks! While there are plenty of idiots in Canada, I've noticed a lot of Americans think they are entitled to the world, and then some. And also treat us Canadians with total disrespect for no reason. This is mostly from New Yorkers and Texans. I realize there ARE nice New Yorkers (The children's pastor at my church is from NY) and Texans, but they are few and far between.

If you want to meet a nice Canadian, go to a small city or town. You will be greeted with smiles. Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Vancouver and especially Winnipeg, you will just be another face.
 

Jedi3000

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parker24 said:
Funny, I find most Americans' (NOT ALL... just most) to be ignorant, arrogant pr**ks! While there are plenty of idiots in Canada, I've noticed a lot of Americans think they are entitled to the world, and then some. And also treat us Canadians with total disrespect for no reason. This is mostly from New Yorkers and Texans. I realize there ARE nice New Yorkers (The children's pastor at my church is from NY) and Texans, but they are few and far between.

If you want to meet a nice Canadian, go to a small city or town. You will be greeted with smiles. Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Vancouver and especially Winnipeg, you will just be another face.
Hi parker24 ..... I mean no disrespect but I disagree with what you said about Americans. i'm an indian immigrant who lived in Australia before going to Canada under FSW visa. But I've never felt welcome or comfortable in Canada ..... Most Canadians I come into touch often act like they want nothing to do with me. I've never felt so lonely and ostracized in my life. They just look grumpy or unhappy all the time but I don't know what the problem is. I'm not proud to say this but I don't have any friend in Canada although I've tried very hard to make friends. How can I get social life if I don't even have any friends? I also cannot find any employment although I've put in so much effort searching for jobs.

This past week I got so depressed that I needed to change my surroundings and get some fresh air so I took a 5 day trip to New York City in US. The difference between Americans is very big...... The Americans I met are mostly friendly. I don't get the feeling that they want to avoid me. I felt welcome. The contrast is very big.

So how can you say Americans are no good? People are much more cheerful and happier in US than Canada.
 

steaky

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Jedi3000 said:
So how can you say Americans are no good? People are much more cheerful and happier in US than Canada.
Well, Parker did say if you go to a small city or town in Canada, you will be greeted with smiles. Toronto you will just be another face! Where in GTA and Big Apple were you comparing with?
 

margobear96

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Jedi3000 said:
The Americans I met are mostly friendly. I don't get the feeling that they want to avoid me. I felt welcome. The contrast is very big.

So how can you say Americans are no good? People are much more cheerful and happier in US than Canada.
Those Americans you met weren't New Yorkers -- they were tourists from small towns in the Midwest :D.
 

on-hold

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Look, people -- crikey . . . What do you expect? This is how we live in the West. We go to college, we make a lot of friends, we get a job, we get married, and we stop doing anything except sit at home and watch TV with our families. When you're 30 here, friends are for ignoring. Now a bunch of skilled immigrants come over and want to be our friends. Fine! Friends are people we grunt at as we walk to work. What did you want, Bollywood Canada with people dancing in the streets? Wet sari contests?

Also, why this need to be friends with Real Canadians? Toronto is half immigrant, make friends with them. That's probably two million people, should be enough.

I'm not making fun of people who have experience direct racism, that stuff is no funny -- but the 'cold, unfriendly, don't-smile-at-me thing is ridiculous! Especially when you use NYC as an example of what the States is like. I'm from the States, we are scum and Canadians are no different.
 

on-hold

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parker24 said:
Funny, I find most Americans' (NOT ALL... just most) to be ignorant, arrogant pr**ks! While there are plenty of idiots in Canada, I've noticed a lot of Americans think they are entitled to the world, and then some. And also treat us Canadians with total disrespect for no reason. This is mostly from New Yorkers and Texans. I realize there ARE nice New Yorkers (The children's pastor at my church is from NY) and Texans, but they are few and far between.

If you want to meet a nice Canadian, go to a small city or town. You will be greeted with smiles. Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Vancouver and especially Winnipeg, you will just be another face.

I totally agree with this, Americans are a foul, subservient and troglodytic people. +1 for you
 

margobear96

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on-hold said:
Look, people -- crikey . . . What do you expect? This is how we live in the West. We go to college, we make a lot of friends, we get a job, we get married, and we stop doing anything except sit at home and watch TV with our families. When you're 30 here, friends are for ignoring. Now a bunch of skilled immigrants come over and want to be our friends. Fine! Friends are people we grunt at as we walk to work. What did you want, Bollywood Canada with people dancing in the streets? Wet sari contests?

Also, why this need to be friends with Real Canadians? Toronto is half immigrant, make friends with them. That's probably two million people, should be enough.

I'm not making fun of people who have experience direct racism, that stuff is no funny -- but the 'cold, unfriendly, don't-smile-at-me thing is ridiculous! Especially when you use NYC as an example of what the States is like. I'm from the States, we are scum and Canadians are no different.
Dude, you said (wrote) "crikey". I question your American bona fides ;D. Seriously though +1 on your comment otherwise.

You do probably get more racism against Indians/Pakistanis in Canada than you would the US. However, you can "blame" the Canadian government's more lenient immigration policy for that. The stereotype of Indians in the US is that they are all doctors and engineers (model minorities!). In Canada not so much...especially in BC. (BTW I'm talking about the stereotype, not saying there are no Indian doctors/engineers in Canada.)

NYC is different because it's a destination for immigrants from all of the world...including other parts of the US. Therefore you're more likely to meet Americans who are newcomers themselves and looking to make friends. Most Canadians do not travel (at least within Canada). I was shocked to learn from my husband that they don't even really go away for college/university -- literally, if you're from Vancouver you go to UBC (with most of your high school), if you're from Burnaby (right next to Vancouver) you go to SFU. The likelihood of meeting a Canadian over the age of say, 20, in Canada looking to make friends is very, very low for these reasons. Also, same deal elsewhere in the West. I lived in London for over 2 years -- all my friends were expat Americans, mostly from work.
 

steaky

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margobear96 said:
Most Canadians do not travel (at least within Canada). I was shocked to learn from my husband that they don't even really go away for college/university -- literally, if you're from Vancouver you go to UBC (with most of your high school), if you're from Burnaby (right next to Vancouver) you go to SFU. The likelihood of meeting a Canadian over the age of say, 20, in Canada looking to make friends is very, very low for these reasons. Also, same deal elsewhere in the West. I lived in London for over 2 years -- all my friends were expat Americans, mostly from work.
Seriously, many Canadians in BC drive across the border to Washington and Oregon State for shopping and gas. :)
 

on-hold

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Margobear is totally correct about Canadians not moving -- and it's most true with respect to jobs. Don't think (like I did) that you can land anywhere but look for jobs all over Canada; land where there are jobs and you want to work, because they will probably not consider you if you are two provinces over.

That is also a difference between Canada and the States.
 

steaky

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on-hold said:
Margobear is totally correct about Canadians not moving -- and it's most true with respect to jobs. Don't think (like I did) that you can land anywhere but look for jobs all over Canada; land where there are jobs and you want to work, because they will probably not consider you if you are two provinces over.

That is also a difference between Canada and the States.
If so, why there are that much traffic jams on Highway No. 1 in the section between Coquitlam and Vancouver during rush hours? Many Canadians must have commute from home to their workplace often outside their home city.