scared

[Shiny88]

Thank you Shiny88...
You're pregnant and your hubby is not with you , this situation is very hard for you...... I wish all the best for you....

thanks ;D

 

[saint4peace]

Let's say CIC requires you to stay 10 year with your wife if not , you will lose your PR... I believe 1000 % you WILL NOT DIVORCE your wife... When you are dating with your wife , you and your wife must have so many plans , from plan A to Z.....That's why your wife is sure to married you and sponsoring you.....
Your wife has a job , that's why she can sponsor you....You also have a job....Now you are afraid have a baby because of financial situation ? Do you think is it like your country or other countries which needs a lot of money for having a baby for first day of pregnancy?
How much money do you need to pay hospital, doctor , school , food etc?
If you live in other country which must pay a lot of money to study in school ( the best schools tuitions are in US Dollar even the country's currency is not in US dollar and the country is third world country which salary is so low ,cost of living is so high and unemployment rate is so high ). So I can understand your situation.....
You are not Family man and please don't use other members statement like " You don't know my situations , bla bla.....
I believe your first priority is only To secure your PR , send money to your parent , invite them , to show people in your country ," Hey , I am Canadian PR now.....I am a Tax Payer .....!!!!!
Do you think your wife is dumb and can't calculate the cost of having a baby ? She loves you and that's why she wants a baby from you !!!!

sunsun: wow! I liked this post so much! got plus 10 points from me, buddy. I never gave a thought the other side that you thought. Great!

 

[sunsun]

Thanks , Saint4peace

 

[scos]

Guys just do not judge pepole because of somebody else not everybody is a scamer nd for sure im not one of them you dont know my personaal life so plz dont judge thnx to the ppl who answered for what i asked.

We are not judging you based on somebody else. Our judgement is based upon your own description of your situation.

nd as for you guys how can you suport your wife nd a baby ad buy a house when u dont make enough im not a gou who would bring a human being to this world nd not being aable to give my kid everything he or she wants

That is pretty lame. My wife told me recently when she gets here she wants to wait a year before having a baby. Her reason was she wanted to be a wife for a while before becoming a mother (since we have been apart for so long). I can buy that. Most people are reasonable about things. But your talk of getting a house first, then money so you can "give your kids everything" is ridiculous. Your wife has lived here longer than you and knows how much things cost. She would know if you two can afford it or not. It seems you are more interested in "stuff" than "family". You don't need to own a home. You don't need to (nor should you WANT to) spoil your kids. All you really need is to be able to afford to feed them, cloth them, and care for them. The best thing you can give your child is not a Little Einstein or a tablet computer; it is your time, attention and love.

its eay like a lot of ppl do go ask for social services im not like that nd its not that i dont wanna have kids but just not now later on there is time for both of us

If you wait till you can "afford" kids you may never have them. I don't know how old your wife is, but you should realize that the older a woman is the harder it is to get pregnant. Also it will be more likely that there will be problems with both the pregnancy and the child. YOU might have all the time in the world but she doesn't.

so guys 1 more time dont judge ppl based on what 1 person said

As I already said, we are basing this off what YOU said...

all i said is that my wife has changed shes not the person i fell in love with what would u say how would u guys feel if u came home exhausted from work nd u got greated with being given *censored word*

It takes two to tango. I am sure you are appearing different to your wife than you did before. For one, you don't seem to want kids when before marriage you did. And if the worst you had to deal with when coming home was a dirty word then grow up. In my first marriage I had way more to deal with than that. And yet I STILL tried counselling and other avenues to fix the problem before I chose divorce. YOUR first inclination is to leave the marriage. What should that tell us? If you are sincere in that you are just scared of financial difficulties of having a child then counselling sessions with your wife would probably fix your problems pretty quickly. The rush to divorce tells me you have no interest in the marriage. You also should realize that marriage is not all love talk and good times. If you want to be married (to anyone) you better learn how to deal with your wife and discuss problems effectively.

bcs you abut everything instead of being greated with a kiss nd warm hug Huh so plz dont judge ppl unless you are in their shoes

You will get greeted with a kiss and a warm hug when you make your wife feel happy, secure and loved. None of which seems the case. So what do you expect? I don't know if you have talked to her or threatened divorce, but even if you haven't people can normally sense when someone is pulling away from a relationship. And you expect her to put all those feelings aside to make you feel good? Just like the people in this forum who think you used her, I will bet she is feeling used. That isn't a good feeling. If you are as sincere as you say you will find a counsellor (there are lots around and many who will charge based on need) and work on your marriage. You may find you rediscover that person you fell in love with. At the very least you can leave in the knowledge you tried everything to make it work. It will also help her should the marriage break up. If you don't and just want a divorce so you can pursue your new wonderful Canadian life then I doubt you will get any sympathy here.

 

[Shiny88]

We are not judging you based on somebody else. Our judgement is based upon your own description of your situation.
That is pretty lame. My wife told me recently when she gets here she wants to wait a year before having a baby. Her reason was she wanted to be a wife for a while before becoming a mother (since we have been apart for so long). I can buy that. Most people are reasonable about things. But your talk of getting a house first, then money so you can "give your kids everything" is ridiculous. Your wife has lived here longer than you and knows how much things cost. She would know if you two can afford it or not. It seems you are more interested in "stuff" than "family". You don't need to own a home. You don't need to (nor should you WANT to) spoil your kids. All you really need is to be able to afford to feed them, cloth them, and care for them. The best thing you can give your child is not a Little Einstein or a tablet computer; it is your time, attention and love.
If you wait till you can "afford" kids you may never have them. I don't know how old your wife is, but you should realize that the older a woman is the harder it is to get pregnant. Also it will be more likely that there will be problems with both the pregnancy and the child. YOU might have all the time in the world but she doesn't.
As I already said, we are basing this off what YOU said...
It takes two to tango. I am sure you are appearing different to your wife than you did before. For one, you don't seem to want kids when before marriage you did. And if the worst you had to deal with when coming home was a dirty word then grow up. In my first marriage I had way more to deal with than that. And yet I STILL tried counselling and other avenues to fix the problem before I chose divorce. YOUR first inclination is to leave the marriage. What should that tell us? If you are sincere in that you are just scared of financial difficulties of having a child then counselling sessions with your wife would probably fix your problems pretty quickly. The rush to divorce tells me you have no interest in the marriage. You also should realize that marriage is not all love talk and good times. If you want to be married (to anyone) you better learn how to deal with your wife and discuss problems effectively.
You will get greeted with a kiss and a warm hug when you make your wife feel happy, secure and loved. None of which seems the case. So what do you expect? I don't know if you have talked to her or threatened divorce, but even if you haven't people can normally sense when someone is pulling away from a relationship. And you expect her to put all those feelings aside to make you feel good? Just like the people in this forum who think you used her, I will bet she is feeling used. That isn't a good feeling. If you are as sincere as you say you will find a counsellor (there are lots around and many who will charge based on need) and work on your marriage. You may find you rediscover that person you fell in love with. At the very least you can leave in the knowledge you tried everything to make it work. It will also help her should the marriage break up. If you don't and just want a divorce so you can pursue your new wonderful Canadian life then I doubt you will get any sympathy here.

thumbs up buddy, you explained very well. And agree on everything you said. god bless. Hopefully he will make the right choice.

 

[bagelbagel81]

I second that thumbs up- great post.

 

[sunsun]

He wants a hug and kiss from his wife but why he doesn't hug and kiss his wife first ? I always hug and kiss my wife when she goes to work, when she is back from work , when she is going to sleep and when I meet her in public area ex. meeting her in mall for dinner...
We always listen love songs and sometimes dance when listening Gangnam Style , Whistle song.... ;D
Few of our love songs are : " Love Story " by Taylor Swift , " Shoulder To Cry On " by Tommy Page , " Tong Hua " by Jason Chen and J Rice....
Sometimes we go to watch movies , playing bowling etc....
This scared man just wants to be RICH like Bill Gates and then he is sure to have a baby.... :

 

[Shiny88]

He wants a hug and kiss from his wife but why he doesn't hug and kiss his wife first ? I always hug and kiss my wife when she goes to work, when she is back from work , when she is going to sleep and when I meet her in public area ex. meeting her in mall for dinner...
We always listen love songs and sometimes dance when listening Gangnam Style , Whistle song.... ;D
Few of our love songs are : " Love Story " by Taylor Swift , " Shoulder To Cry On " by Tommy Page , " Tong Hua " by Jason Chen and J Rice....
Sometimes we go to watch movies , playing bowling etc....
This scared man just wants to be RICH like Bill Gates and then he is sure to have a baby.... :

nice, i wonder if we can bring all our belongings when we are in the coffin after death? am sure we can! ill go dig some grave and get some money and jewels, so i can be rich and buy a brand new car for my baby coming soon! wotssss

 

[sunsun]

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

Please someone, find me a woman that doesn't complain......LOL.

My wife and I met online and spent all that time discussing who we are and our likes and dislikes; our strengths and weaknesses. I put her in touch with my family and closest friends so she would have the best possible honest opinion of me as a man and as a person. We then met in person about a year and a half later reserving the right for either person to re evaluate their feelings. If someone was not feeling the chemistry then we would remain friends. No harm no foul.

Each person has to be honest with themselves and who they are and what their expectations are. I think "scared" is used to a traditional husband/wife relationship where the man is the boss and the wife does what she is told. Welcome to the 21st century "scared". Women are our equals; they are strong and they have expectations of their husbands.
Man up and honour your commitments.

 

[lunas]

Please someone, find me a woman that doesn't complain......LOL.

My wife and I met online and spent all that time discussing who we are and our likes and dislikes; our strengths and weaknesses. I put her in touch with my family and closest friends so she would have the best possible honest opinion of me as a man and as a person. We then met in person about a year and a half later reserving the right for either person to re evaluate their feelings. If someone was not feeling the chemistry then we would remain friends. No harm no foul.

Each person has to be honest with themselves and who they are and what their expectations are. I think "scared" is used to a traditional husband/wife relationship where the man is the boss and the wife does what she is told. Welcome to the 21st century "scared". Women are our equals; they are strong and they have expectations of their husbands.
Man up and honour your commitments.

Darn right! :

 

[amikety]

Darn right! :

Yes... man up. If I as a woman am capable of manning up, then you, as a man, are too!