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Review through LOE.

zoaib2

Newbie
Mar 21, 2016
7
0
Hello Guys.
Need a review for my letter of explanation. Please help.!
NOTE: (Will be doing diploma from Fraser international college and then going to Simon Fraser university.)

Glad to introduce myself as Mr. Zoaib Mustafa. In my family my father is a xxx at xxx, my brother is full-time student and my mother is a house-wife and. I have done my Secondary school Certificate with xxx in 2013 from St.Pauls English High School, Karachi and Higher Secondary Certificate with xxx in 2015 from Govt.College of Commerce and Economics, Karachi, Pakistan. My purpose of application for enrolling in this college is to do my Diploma in Business Administration from Fraser International College (FIC) and then Bachelor’s degree at Simon Fraser University, Canada.

After the completion of my studies in Canada, I would like to work as an accountant in multinational/reputed firm. During my school days I have seen that accountants who are working in major reputed firms are well trained, have qualified skills and I have also found that a great number of people have obtained their qualification from abroad. Due to this, they have lot of high qualities. I have also decided to go abroad for my Bachelor’s degree and join in a reputed Charted Accountant firm which provides handsome salary and benefits and so I have discussed and decided with my parents and they have agreed to send me abroad for my further studies.

I choose Canada because Canadian studies are well known for quality education to the students from all over the world and students are studying over there. After obtaining proper qualification they make their future bright. As well as some people from my district are also studying there and even a few of my friends also suggested me to go to Canada for further studies. In last three to four years the number of international students in Canada has risen. Apart from being a great place to get a first rate education, Canada is also a fantastic place to live. Canadian people have reputation for being amongst the friendliest of the world, and Canada cities are safe and clean, with low crime rate. Canada may represent a better study destination than other popular alternatives like the USA and Australia. The Canada education system is much organized. Highly qualified staff help to raise the quality of education. After completing my course in Canada, I will be able to get a job anywhere in the world as a Certified Accountant.

The things I like about studying in Canada are the high standards of education and the Canadian people way of living. Lots of friends make it easy to live happily and feel at home in Canada. It’s a very good idea to pursue studies in Canada if one is really serious about his/her career. The fee structure of Bachelors of Business Administration in Simon Fraser University, Canada is cheaper than that of the other countries like USA and Australia. So this is the reason why I have chosen Canada for Bachelor’s degree. Further I would like to say that my father has sufficient funds to support me for this course. After the completion of this course, I am sure that I will get a good job in Canada or any other popular country.
 

Victor2016

Member
Mar 11, 2016
15
1
Too much about how canada "is the perfect place for studies" and the sentence about getting a job in canada will work against you. But that's just my opinion.
 

brahmaji

Member
Feb 6, 2016
18
0
"tough"

if i am the visa officer- you will be rejected
because -1)you want to come and work in Canada after your studies- meaning you wont leave.
2)you love canada - so you wont leave.
and few more .....

now understand what an LOE is ,
it is the letter where you talk to the visa officer,
remember visa officer has seen your education certificates already , your finances already and your acceptance letter.
so he know all that information, you need to specify and emphasis on what is not there on those documents and how they are connected.
for example (you are going for dip.busi.administration ) so specify how your subjects in school life are, how they made you fascinate about courses u are going to take and improved your leadership skills.

take time and draft your LOE don't copy paste modify.
remember its your life which you are speaking to the VO not some one else.
 

luvanuj

Hero Member
Jul 14, 2011
280
51
35
Toronto
zoaib2 said:
Hello Guys.
Need a review for my letter of explanation. Please help.!
NOTE: (Will be doing diploma from Fraser international college and then going to Simon Fraser university.)

Glad to introduce myself as Mr. Zoaib Mustafa. In my family my father is a xxx at xxx, my brother is full-time student and my mother is a house-wife and. I have done my Secondary school Certificate with xxx in 2013 from St.Pauls English High School, Karachi and Higher Secondary Certificate with xxx in 2015 from Govt.College of Commerce and Economics, Karachi, Pakistan. My purpose of application for enrolling in this college is to do my Diploma in Business Administration from Fraser International College (FIC) and then Bachelor’s degree at Simon Fraser University, Canada.

After the completion of my studies in Canada, I would like to work as an accountant in multinational/reputed firm. During my school days I have seen that accountants who are working in major reputed firms are well trained, have qualified skills and I have also found that a great number of people have obtained their qualification from abroad. Due to this, they have lot of high qualities. I have also decided to go abroad for my Bachelor’s degree and join in a reputed Charted Accountant firm which provides handsome salary and benefits and so I have discussed and decided with my parents and they have agreed to send me abroad for my further studies.

I choose Canada because Canadian studies are well known for quality education to the students from all over the world and students are studying over there. After obtaining proper qualification they make their future bright. As well as some people from my district are also studying there and even a few of my friends also suggested me to go to Canada for further studies. In last three to four years the number of international students in Canada has risen. Apart from being a great place to get a first rate education, Canada is also a fantastic place to live. Canadian people have reputation for being amongst the friendliest of the world, and Canada cities are safe and clean, with low crime rate. Canada may represent a better study destination than other popular alternatives like the USA and Australia. The Canada education system is much organized. Highly qualified staff help to raise the quality of education. After completing my course in Canada, I will be able to get a job anywhere in the world as a Certified Accountant.

The things I like about studying in Canada are the high standards of education and the Canadian people way of living. Lots of friends make it easy to live happily and feel at home in Canada. It’s a very good idea to pursue studies in Canada if one is really serious about his/her career. The fee structure of Bachelors of Business Administration in Simon Fraser University, Canada is cheaper than that of the other countries like USA and Australia. So this is the reason why I have chosen Canada for Bachelor’s degree. Further I would like to say that my father has sufficient funds to support me for this course. After the completion of this course, I am sure that I will get a good job in Canada or any other popular country.
Here are my tips.

Show how the education is going to be beneficial when you come back to your home country ( Pakistan ) . How it is going to help you in business, jobs etc. Do not write so much about Canada. It feels like you wont come back once you are there. With this letter you will 100% get rejected.


Here is what visa officer needs to know

1) You will come back to your home country after studies. - You have to prove this. You have lots of wealth, quality of life and family. This are the reasons that will help him believe that you will come back.
2) You have enough money for your studies.