Please help!! I need your opion or vote in what we should do

[GTWifey]

reality is that an internet relationship is not the same as living day in and day out with a person, the reality of sharing space with someone is totally different, add to that the cultural differences....children that may live with the sponsor and that adds a totally different dynamic, there are challenges to cover come, no doubt

. . .someone that is trying to deceive are camillion like, they know what you like and feed on that, they mirror back your likes and dislikes, they make everything seem exactly as you would want it to be...fairy tale like...life is at times complex, there are no rules of the heart...commitment is made on a conscious level

YES! I agree with you 100% on this. Very well said Lois.

 

[canadianwoman]

I also know of several marriages of convenience with Nigerian men. I have seen websites where Nigerian men have discussed the type of woman to target.

Could you share the names of these websites?
And GTWifey - could you share the details of the marriages of convenience you know about?

I personally know lots of Nigerian men (in Malaysia) who are looking for a Western wife, but most of them do not seem to be trying to marry a foreigner just to get into a Western country. They want to get into a Western country, yes, but they also expect to stay with the woman they marry. Some of them even seem to be in love; it's more the women who seem to be not serious, who seem to think it is just a lark. One Australian woman I know has decided to marry her Nigerian boyfriend within a week after meeting him, after a few months online. She's all excited about going to Africa and seeing the animals - "I've always dreamt of going on safari to Kenya!"

 

[GTWifey]

Well, I know first hand of two women who have experienced tremendous hurt after their Nigerian husbands left. Without devulging all information, one woman had children for her Nigerian husband & today she can't even locate him to get her divorce. The other learned that her husband had a 'traditional wife' in Nigeria & he eventually chose to go back & sponsor her. Its that simple. Online dating is very risky especially if these men are specifically targeting Western women for PR status (which they have been known to do). I don't think you'd meet anyone online that one would admit to wanting PR in Canada. But I have several Nigerian-Canadian friends who have confirmed this practice. Like Lois said, someone that is trying to deceive are camillion like, they know what you like and feed on that, they mirror back your likes and dislikes, they make everything seem exactly as you would want it to be...fairy tale like. That is the work of any scam artist.

In any dating situation you just have to be smart. The Immigration process is a legal one so sponsors definately have to be on guard & 2 steps ahead.

 

[BeShoo]

In defence of Laura, we all need to consider every angle, and scams to enter Canada without the sponsor's knowledge do exist. It may not be polite to point that out in an individual case, and we really don't have the information to go by in this particular case, but we all need to consider it in our own relationships. Only you really know about your own situation.

Unfortunately, all is not lovey-dovey angels and roses. We're dealing with the government here and we have to deal with "evindence" and "proof" and such. I've had to put in a few out-of-focus and unflattering photographs just because they are key pieces of evidence, and not because they are particularly artistic or attractive. Sometimes it's nasty, but it's the process that's necessary. Oh well.

So long as we're nice to each other here and honest, everything is good.

 

[joecreosta]

Unfortunately, age difference is used as a determining factor. Morocco is a tough country with many young men trying to get into Canada by marrying Canadian women, no matter what their age. A 20 year age difference will be a HUGE red flag to the officials there, and based on that alone they could deem your marriage to be just a marriage of convenience and deny your husband's application. It happens all the time.

In my opinion, you really only have one choice, and that is to stay in Morocco with him as long as possible. You will have to prove way above and beyond the regular person that yours is a marriage of love, and not convenience. My suggestion would be to have loads of evidence, and not put your application in for a few months so that you can show that you are living together. Pictures, emails, phone bills, everything has to be submitted.

Are you muslim? If not, this will cause even more difficulty. Will you be having children with him? A young Morrocan muslim man marrying a much older non-muslim Canadian woman who will not be having his children will be a very hard story for the officials to swallow.

I'm sorry that this isn't good news, but it's best to know what you're up against. And I'm sorry for what I'm about to say, but I have to say it....are you sure it is not just a marriage of convenience? Moroccan men are known for marrying older women in Canada and the US and then leaving her when they arrive...going on to marry a woman from their community here in Canada. Search some of the stories here...they are kind and loving before the marriage, and then things change afterwards. I don't want you to get your heart broken.

However, every circumstance is different, and I would not like to stereotype an entire nation. So if you are 100% SURE that your marriage is genuine and you have seen no red flags in your relationship thus far, work your butt off preparing the best application possible and spend those 4 months in Morocco to further strenghten your case.

Laura

ps. one more thing just came to mind which makes me wonder...My husband and I are very much in love and cannot wait to be together, so if I had had the option to live with him for 4 months after our marriage I would have jumped at the chance! For the simple fact that you would easily return to Canada and not live with him when you have that option, it makes me a bit suspicious.

very nicely said my friend. god bless U

yusuf

 

[rjessome]

Did anyone happen to notice the date on this original post? It's March 15, 2008! Hopefully by now the OP has resolved her issues!!

 

[bobshynoswife]

Did anyone happen to notice the date on this original post? It's March 15, 2008! Hopefully by now the OP has resolved her issues!!

LOL! I never noticed that! I hope by now she is with her husband, happily living in Canada.

I did wonder why she never came back to the thread...

 

[Rebecca2010]

This thread has helped me a lot. Although I am still confused about my feelings at least now I have more information. Thank you everyone for sharing all your input.

Sincerely,

Rebecca