Off topic for outland applicants...Stressed out in my relationship

[lunas]

Ok Having a lond distance relationship is so hard and my husband and I knew that when we got married. I feel like every little problem becomes 100x magnified because of the distance. Skype, Google Talk, phone, texting, it all helps but I never thought my relatioship would be so hard and sometimes it makes me question whether I should have stayed in the relationship or not. I know it's too late to think about that kind of things. We love each other very much but lately, the stress of dealing with a long distance relationship and all this paperwork has taken its toll on us.
Are any of you feeling the same way I am or have you felt that way? :'(

 

[KJG]

Ok Having a lond distance relationship is so hard and my husband and I knew that when we got married. I feel like every little problem becomes 100x magnified because of the distance. Skype, Google Talk, phone, texting, it all helps but I never thought my relatioship would be so hard and sometimes it makes me question whether I should have stayed in the relationship or not. I know it's too late to think about that kind of things. We love each other very much but lately, the stress of dealing with a long distance relationship and all this paperwork has taken its toll on us.
Are any of you feeling the same way I am or have you felt that way? :'(

Hey lunas....lots of people feel that way so you are definitely not alone. And the stress does take its toll. But most times if you reflect back to before you got to this part of the relationship you remember why you are doing this. It is so very hard. I really thought I was up to the challenge of waiting. Thinking my life is so busy in Canada it will fly by. I was so wrong. Yes I am very busy.....and the time does go fast but I feel every second waiting for just a little hint that our file is being looked at. My husband has been very good through most of this. On my bad days he lifts my spirits and on his I do the same. Right now I feel like my life is on hold...I can't do this....I can't do that and everything is out of my control. So for example today.....not being at work and having time on my hands....I look back through pictures...email my husband....and just try to be positive. Unfortunately my husband is from Cuba so skpe and msn chat and all that wonderful digital media is of no use to us. We email and text......we don't even use the phone unless for emergencies because of cost and majority of time reception sucks.

So yeah....it's a long haul but the end result will be worth it of that I am sure and once you and your husband are together this time of stress and disconcern will melt into the background.

 

[lunas]

Thank you for your response and for sharing. I feel like while doing all this paperwork my marriage has weakened to the point that I feel like giving up :-(
We all need a pat n the back and I hope we all continue through this process even though it's so difficult and stressful. I hope I can share good news with your some day.
hugs

 

[Isometry]

Don't give up. It sucks, it does feel like your life is on hold, and when I was waiting we spent every penny on plane tickets so we could visit every few months, so we were both always broke... it's worth it in the end.

 

[tavora]

Thank you for your response and for sharing. I feel like while doing all this paperwork my marriage has weakened to the point that I feel like giving up :-(
We all need a pat n the back and I hope we all continue through this process even though it's so difficult and stressful. I hope I can share good news with your some day.
hugs

Being long distance is hard on any relationship. My husband and I have been long distance for our entire relationship (over three years now), so I hear you .. it's hard. I guess we're lucky because we can usually see each other every two months or so, but we also spend a lot of money on plane tickets. When I think of how much it sucks to be apart from my husband, I think of one of my coworkers, who was apart from her husband for 15 years because they met and married when he was living in the then Soviet Union. I honestly have no idea how she managed only seeing her husband once or twice a year for two weeks for 15 years, but she did it, and it gives me hope. They are still married to this day! So don't give up, you can do it.

 

[Tipha]

Ya it causes very much stress but my husband and i never had a doubt that we wont make it or that we would give up, we both hold together very strongly. But of course we have our days where the distance and the waiting its killing us and we also argue about the process. We say we did this now over 2 years with only seeing each other once or twice in a year, we will hold out the last few months too. I know this is worth it and he is a great person that i wouldnt want to miss in my life, this thought has never changed for me and knowing this distance will have an end keeps me going. I have learned a lot patience with all this, im an impatient person usually, im growing on this, so does my husband. I just do all i can to distract me and do a lot with my family before i cant see them anymore so fast. If you have strong feelings its worth fighting, dont give up yet and tell yourself it will have an end one day even if you invest much time, what sucks but no other choise if its what you want.

 

[lunas]

Thank you all for your encouragement.
XOXO

 

[JRPW]

Hey Lunas - Crack a smile! ;D It helps alleviate the stress!

My wife and I are also going through something similar. However, we do not live in a long distance relationship. I live overseas with the wife. Filling out the application forms, getting all the documents translated and making sure we dot all the i's and cross all the t's has been stressful. It seems like we argue all the time, but it is the stress of the unknown - Will or won't we get my wife's PR? Did we do enough with the proof of our relationship?

My advice - just take it easy; go with the flow. I know that is easier said than done, but it will help in the long run!

Cheers,

J

 

[miniejungle]

lunas, cheer up... reading your post and others' makes me realise we are all put through this test, and if we can get through this, we will last a long long time. Ours is also a long distance relationship from day 1, and we only saw each other once every 4 months. It's no doubt hard and at times bad for the relationship, but we can't change it (unless, for me, i have to give up my job, let go my house - cos it's currently on mortgage and if i dont work i cant pay; leaving my aged parents to fend for themselves and hop on the plane to Canada - waiting there with my husband but would not be able to find a job when on tourist visa). weighing the pros and cons i have to stay put till the paperwork is done. we also argue about the procedures, and usually when i get impatient (which is all the time actually ), he always has to tell me to chill. my husband is the calm type so he doesnt mind the wait, but i can't take it as coolly as him. like everyone has said, our lives are on hold. can't plan for anything until we know where our applications are, or what stage they're in, if we get approved or not... i recently had a miscarriage with bad complications and it makes the whole experience even more painful. but what can we do other than pressing on? i'm glad i found this forum so we can share the experience, the timeline, but more importantly, we could also help each other to get through each day, take one step at a time, give each other encouragement and strength to survive this and get to the end... by seeing our loved ones again soon. I don't have siblings to share any of these feelings so im grateful that i can pour out my heart here and someone, somewhere out there, could understand and sympathise with me.
so... don't give up, don't lose hope, because we will get there in the end, together.good luck to us all. cheers!

 

[smvi]

All d best...Hope we all will be with our soul mates very very soon...i also know the toughness of being far frm our better half...
But keep the patience n all is going to be well....