Odd Stuff - when you talk to friends in your old home country

[Baloo]

When talking on Skype with people who live in my country of birth (UK), I sometimes get the oddest questions / assumptions.
Does this ever happen to you?

Just a few to start off with...

When it is winter in Canada, I often get asked "what is the temperature where you are?"
When I tell them, people often reply, "How can you go out when it is THAT COLD, I would die !".
At present it is -23C in Ottawa, but with the right clothes, dealing with any weather is not a problem

Some folk have asked -

"Do you go camping in igloos?"
"How can you pee outside when it is so cold?"
"How many moose live in Ottawa?"
"Are all the roads made of ice?" - I guess it is a reference to ice road truckers.


Many people have no concept of the size of Canada. I was once asked... "I am coming to Canada on my vacation, can you pick me up at the airport".
I asked, "What airport?".
The reply was, "Vancouver"
I said, "sure, if you pay for the fuel, no problem, it's about 9000 kilometres round trip from my home in Ottawa "
The reply - stunned silence

And finally, some interactions in life defy sense...

I was out with my dog near the edge of the Ottawa river, I was stopped by a tourist who recognised my accent (when I was calling the dog).
After a brief exchange about tourist things, I was asked if my dog spoke French !
My reply - stunned silence

 

[Leon]

Yes, people will ask all the time what the weather is like. I think that is more small talk than anything else. If they really wanted to know, they can just go on yahoo or other website and look it up.

Should people mention that they would just die because it is too cold or too hot or something where you are, you can say no, you would not die, you would complain about it like everybody else but you would survive to see the next day which may also be too cold or too hot and so it goes on. Or you can have fun with it and say, oh, yes, you would surely die but I survive because I am oh so tough.

To answer the other questions:

People in Canada live in igloos year round.

Peeing outside, very dangerous, thing will turn black and fall off in 1 second.

Population of moose in the city of Ottawa, high, moose tend to hold good jobs and rent luxury apartments or own houses in the best neighbourhoods.

Roads are made of ice, also in summer. This means you have to have all roads especially refrigerated.

Pets are required to speak both English and French. This is a criteria to get a dog license.

 

[Canooknic]

My future mother-in-law asked me where we store our food for winter!!! Apparently I'm a squirrel! ;D : ???

 

[Leon]

My future mother-in-law asked me where we store our food for winter!!! Apparently I'm a squirrel! ;D : ???

Did you say you keep it in a hollow tree in the back yard?

 

[Canooknic]

I didn't respond! I just sat looking at her like this

How could a grown woman seriously believe that we hibernate ????

 

[Baloo]

I didn't respond! I just sat looking at her like this

How could a grown woman seriously believe that we hibernate ????

Hibernate!! - I just fell off my seat laughing

 

[Leon]

Did you explain to her that the grocery stores are still open during winter?

 

[Canooknic]

I have since, but at the time I couldn't - my sarcasm wouldn't allow a response (she's a very sensitive soul!). I still haven't worked out what she thought her son was going to be doing over the winter, if he was home with me and the kids every day I may be forced to send him back to England!!

Her other classic was "how do doctors work over there?" - umm, you get sick, go and see them and they make you better?? Voodoo?? Moose spit??

And the grand finale - "do you have running water? Even when it's freezing?" - where the heck do you think we've moved too????

 

[AllisonVSC]

This thread is SO much more amusing (in a laugh out loud kinda way where I am compelled to read the responses to my partner) than the "CBSA DRUGGED ME" and the "Can I sponsor my sister as my common law partner?" threads which have kept me reading forum posts the last couple days. I wish I could think of one or two of the stupid questions I've been asked since moving here (from the southern part of the Unites States y'all), but I can not think of one at this time. Thanks Baloo, Leon and others for making my evening!

BTW, I have yet to see a moose. Guess I need to hang out in the lobbies of luxury condos in Ottawa.

Allison

 

[caribgrl55]

This thread is hilarious!! Can't believe that people actually ask these questions.. If they hear these questions repeated back to them, will they think they are ridiculous?

 

[Canooknic]

How about my future father-in-law then?? We told him they had started building our house (a duplex) and that they only start building once the house is sold....his question...."so they don't build the other half of your house until someone buys it? Won't that be a big disruption for you?"

Yes, we're only going to have 3 sides to our house until someone else decides to buy the others half...geez!!!:

 

[us2yow]

Gosh...I must have missed all the important stuff.....I just got in after gathering the few stray nuts that I could gather from under the snow...the moose ate the rest

Time to put away the nuts in winter storage and go into long hibernation ! ;D zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

[steaky]

BTW, I have yet to see a moose. Guess I need to hang out in the lobbies of luxury condos in Ottawa.

Allison

Moose taste like beef. Recalled those hunting days in northern Ontario!

 

[sttn]

One of my friends was asking me why I am ending every question with "EH" then I had to reply "I live in Canada EH"..

 

[qorax]

Nice thread going here... thought of chipping-in...

Where is Quebec ?
-Just for fun... and way too funny that is - to blow your socks off !
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In a busy Parisian cafe, a tourist is sitting alone, enjoying a creme caramel. Another tourist approaches...

May I sit here?

No problem...

Thank you, very nice...

Are you on vacation?

Yes, I arrived yesterday...

What country are you from?

Norway. You?

From Quebec.

Quebec? I don't know Quebec...

Quebec... near the Atlantic, next to Ontario, the Great Lakes...

No, I don't know these places.

Never mind then, I'm from Canada...

Ah! Canada! Canada I know! So why you tell me you come from Quebec?

Because, my first country is Quebec!

Oh, you were born in Quebec and immigrated to Canada...

No, no, I was born in Quebec and I stayed in Quebec...

Oh, then your father is from Canada?

No, no, my father, my mother, my wife, my dog, everybody, they come from Quebec...

So why you say Canada?

For God's sake, because you say you don't know where is Quebec!

OK, but if you say you not know Norway, I not say that my country is Japan... -LOL

Sh1t ! Canada isn't Japan. Canada, is my country.

Oh, your country not Quebec anymore ?

My country is Quebec. But my country can be Canada too - if the person doesn't know where is Quebec !

I don't understand...

Look, it's simple: I come from the Province of Quebec, in the country of Canada.

Ok! But I didn't ask you what province you're from, I ask you what country. Me, I come from Lofoten region in Norway, but I answer you Norway when you ask me what country I come from...

I know, I know, I'm not stupid, Sh1t ! But me, when they ask me what country I come from, I answer Quebec. Even if it's the name of my province. For me, it's my country.

Oh, now I understand.. You are a separatist, you want your Quebec province to be your country...

Hell man, Are you crazy ? I don't want to know nothing from that sh1t !

I do not understand anything anymore...

Let me explain, it's simple! You ask me what country I come from, I answered Quebec because Quebec is my country, but I don't really want it to be my country, it would be too much trouble. I just want to say it. So, why don't you just let me say it?

I'm all mixed up. You have passport from what country: Quebec or Canada?

CANADA !

So why you not tell me Canada right away?

Because it doesn't feel right. For me, Canada is Anne Murray, the Calgary Stampede, the Mounted Police, SARS, it's not my home all that. Home, it's La Famille Plouffe, Seraphin Poudrier, La P'tite Vie, Felix Leclerc, La Poune, Les Canadiens de Montreal, Les Bougons... Do you understand???

Sorry - Less and less...

Listen, forget all that sh1t. Ask me another question.

Ok, what town you come from?

Mmm... I don't know anymore...

You not know what town you come from?

Yes, yes, I know what town I come from, but my town is merged with another town, but soon it is going to demerge from the town that was supposed to be my town...

Oh, that very complicated! When you write your address, what do you write?

I don't know anymore. Before, I used to write Hull, but Hull changed to Gatineau, but they tell us to wait 3 years before stopping to write Hull - to not mix up the mailman. But now, the Liberals, they pass a law that make it Ok for Gatineau to be Hull again. But I don't know if we have to wait 3 years to be able to write Hull, or when the 3 years are passed, if we have to write Gatineau for 3 years, and after that we write Hull. Unless, of course, the PQ come back in power and we remerge with Gatineau, then we'll have to write Gatineau for 3 years...

I'll leave now; my head hurts...

It's so simple: My town is Hull, my country is Quebec. But if you prefer, my town is Gatineau and my country is Canada !

OK, I think you are all messed-up !

Fine, it's about time. Anyway, it was fun talking to you, if you come around where I live; maybe you could come and see me...

OK, but where? Hull in Quebec or Gatineau in Canada ?

You're a pain in the ass, Man... Forget the whole thing.

STFU man !!!
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Qorax