Non accompanying dependents problem

[ryannull]

Let me give you a quick story of the issue. I have filed my PR application 2 years, outland. I am a US citizen. The problem I am having is getting my ex to do a medical exam for my non accompanying dependent. My son will not be in Canada at all, and the CIC knows that. In our divorce decree, we have shared custody. In actuality, she has full custody. I haven't seen him or talked to him in a few years, because of her. That's another story. Anyways, I have to do everything in my power to make him available for medical exam. My lawyer tried contacting her, in writing, and she ignored it. I then, filed a Motion to Compel with the courts. I haven't got a hearing date yet, still waiting. That could take months. If the court rules in my favor, my son would have to get a passport to use as ID for the medical exam. We are talking up to 6 months, for a dependent that won't even be with me.

I know I am doing all the right things, but there has to be an easier way. Any suggestions?

 

[Alurra71]

Let me give you a quick story of the issue. I have filed my PR application 2 years, outland. I am a US citizen. The problem I am having is getting my ex to do a medical exam for my non accompanying dependent. My son will not be in Canada at all, and the CIC knows that. In our divorce decree, we have shared custody. In actuality, she has full custody. I haven't seen him or talked to him in a few years, because of her. That's another story. Anyways, I have to do everything in my power to make him available for medical exam. My lawyer tried contacting her, in writing, and she ignored it. I then, filed a Motion to Compel with the courts. I haven't got a hearing date yet, still waiting. That could take months. If the court rules in my favor, my son would have to get a passport to use as ID for the medical exam. We are talking up to 6 months, for a dependent that won't even be with me.

I know I am doing all the right things, but there has to be an easier way. Any suggestions?

You could try explaining to her that by not allowing your son to be examined that she is effectively barring him from EVER being able to come to Canada under your sponsorship. While this likely wouldn't phase her, based on your assessment of her, make sure she is aware that this also means if something were to happen to her, and you needed to take your son, you would not be able to, and if there is no family, he would likely end up in foster care. While you likely would go back to the US to care for him, don't let her know that. Sometimes when people are being ridiculously stubborn about things, they require a psychological smack to the head, if you know what I mean ...

Other than that, there really isn't anything you can do. You should be sure to do everything in your power to ensure your sons future if necessary, even if you don't get to see him. You're his father even if she doesn't want to let you be there for him. Don't give her more ammunition for later on telling him stories.

 

[CDNPR2014]

i *think* the only other option to move the application along is to write a letter stating all the steps you've taken to get a medical exam and because of the lack of cooperation from his mother, you wish to relinquish your rights to be able to sponsor him at anytime in the future. CIC does not take these type of situations lightly, because if something were to happen to his mother, you have no ability to sponsor him to come to canada ever. So it's a big decision to make, continue with your efforts as is or relinquish your rights to sponsor him forever.

i'm sure others will confirm whether this is your only other option.

 

[truesmile]

I agree with the immediately preceding post to mine.

The um "explaining" suggestion ... Uh-huh! That ain't gonna work honey!

 

[Alurra71]

I agree with the immediately preceding post to mine.

The um "explaining" suggestion ... Uh-huh! That ain't gonna work honey!

Stranger things have happened, but with absolute certainty it will fail, it WILL fail even if otherwise it would've succeeded. I think you might be surprised what thoughts will jar a mother into looking past her own selfishness in situations regarding children. If it doesn't work, he's no better or worse off then he was but at least he didn't roll over and give up either.

 

[ryannull]

Thanks for the responses.

I don't even plan to stay in Canada full time. My wife and I will be going back in forth to the USA and Canada, meeting both their residency requirements.

Yes, she is a real piece of work. She conceals him from me and my entire family. She won't do it, even with a court order. She will defy the court order.

I don't want to waive my right, but I may have no choice. The CIC isn't going to wait 6 months for me to get a medical exam. They should, because they are making me do it. I think it is foolish to do this when it is premature. That should be done at a later date.