Jibaba
Star Member
- May 11, 2011
- 12
- Category........
- Visa Office......
- Accra
- NOC Code......
- 0213
- Job Offer........
- Pre-Assessed..
- App. Filed.......
- 20-04-2008
- Doc's Request.
- 30-3-2010
- IELTS Request
- 05-05-2011 - Scored 8.0
- Med's Request
- 20-02-2012
- Med's Done....
- 02-03-2012
- Passport Req..
- 11-04-2012
Thanks all for the good wishes .
Mc Silas raised a point about women , marriages and i think we shouldn't shy from this from the outset . i dare to share my opinion again and share experience.
I once sat with a truck driver to help me pack my stuff when i was moving houses and he told me how he has been having problem with his wife and he asked me if am married and i told yes and he advised me not to bring in my wife to Canada ....( i rejected it straight inn the spirit ;D ;D)
He recounted how he was locked up in a criminal cell becuase his wife reported him on a minor issue , According to him , He found her with a boyfriend and confronted her. i was surprised when he told me he is a pastor and both of them used to have a church ...I could see he was so pained, drained . he spoke with several sigh, uhhm, , his recollections were laden with almost tearful innuendos and i realised that the advise he gave , though was subjective to his experience but the best advise he will give any man . I pitied him and i tried to question him . He said he is a pastor disillusioned about the beauty of marriage, it still happens. He blamed it on the "system".
Yes there seems to be a subtle system here and i encountered it first hand when i went for my SIN card registration .
I wanted to fill the form for my 2 kids and the officer said, No , it is my wife's calling and that she has full responsibility for the kids . it hit me hard ! but i got the message , which we had a good talk on thereafter.
I also heard there are lot of occasions and formalities that give the woman more power so to say and easy way to get off at slightest provocation . e.g if you are divorced mother , you get higher allowances etc . The idea i got was like most wives might see this as opportunities to divorce and start afresh with someone else and have full government support .. I believe a lot of things can be worked out before calling the government in. Once the government is in as a 3rd party ... you are done .
i am not a marriage counsellor , but i think couples should be aware of these red flags to marriages upfront and before leaving naija , have a good heart to heart discussion with their partner, think of working together as a team and be positive ; I heard of a couple that had a minor misunderstanding and when one of them out of fright mistakenly called the police, ... the man went to jail , whats separated several distance from the family , need to call the police before he can talk to the children ... it was way bad for him .
i dont think the government really want to break marriages , they are trying to bend it and more importantly ensure safety of the women in the marriage , but like every good thing , people will take advantage of it and creatively use it otherwise... so a lot depends on the 2 adult in the marriage. Settling down here is a great time for couples to bond again , work together as a team , make some adjustments, and just enjoy it as much as you can BUT without forgetting where they are coming from . I don't want to sound too simplistic, marriage is complex than 2 plus 2 equal 4 ..... and i have only heard the men side here ...I am curious to listen to the women side am pained to see people pass through divorce/separation when they can prevent it way back before it happens . So as you are praying for work and good life here , make your marriage top of the list as well.
Yes , there are red flags around marriages , be aware and work towards safe guarding your marriage, remember you are coming to a different culture and you need to integrate ...not change your identity or culture . I always draw inspiration from the DR Odidis , a muslim couple WITH 5 CHILDREN who owns a big scientific outfit in toronto that is listed on some stock exchanges .... they work together and am so proud of them , i really wish to meet them some day .........
Mc Silas raised a point about women , marriages and i think we shouldn't shy from this from the outset . i dare to share my opinion again and share experience.
I once sat with a truck driver to help me pack my stuff when i was moving houses and he told me how he has been having problem with his wife and he asked me if am married and i told yes and he advised me not to bring in my wife to Canada ....( i rejected it straight inn the spirit ;D ;D)
He recounted how he was locked up in a criminal cell becuase his wife reported him on a minor issue , According to him , He found her with a boyfriend and confronted her. i was surprised when he told me he is a pastor and both of them used to have a church ...I could see he was so pained, drained . he spoke with several sigh, uhhm, , his recollections were laden with almost tearful innuendos and i realised that the advise he gave , though was subjective to his experience but the best advise he will give any man . I pitied him and i tried to question him . He said he is a pastor disillusioned about the beauty of marriage, it still happens. He blamed it on the "system".
Yes there seems to be a subtle system here and i encountered it first hand when i went for my SIN card registration .
I wanted to fill the form for my 2 kids and the officer said, No , it is my wife's calling and that she has full responsibility for the kids . it hit me hard ! but i got the message , which we had a good talk on thereafter.
I also heard there are lot of occasions and formalities that give the woman more power so to say and easy way to get off at slightest provocation . e.g if you are divorced mother , you get higher allowances etc . The idea i got was like most wives might see this as opportunities to divorce and start afresh with someone else and have full government support .. I believe a lot of things can be worked out before calling the government in. Once the government is in as a 3rd party ... you are done .
i am not a marriage counsellor , but i think couples should be aware of these red flags to marriages upfront and before leaving naija , have a good heart to heart discussion with their partner, think of working together as a team and be positive ; I heard of a couple that had a minor misunderstanding and when one of them out of fright mistakenly called the police, ... the man went to jail , whats separated several distance from the family , need to call the police before he can talk to the children ... it was way bad for him .
i dont think the government really want to break marriages , they are trying to bend it and more importantly ensure safety of the women in the marriage , but like every good thing , people will take advantage of it and creatively use it otherwise... so a lot depends on the 2 adult in the marriage. Settling down here is a great time for couples to bond again , work together as a team , make some adjustments, and just enjoy it as much as you can BUT without forgetting where they are coming from . I don't want to sound too simplistic, marriage is complex than 2 plus 2 equal 4 ..... and i have only heard the men side here ...I am curious to listen to the women side am pained to see people pass through divorce/separation when they can prevent it way back before it happens . So as you are praying for work and good life here , make your marriage top of the list as well.
Yes , there are red flags around marriages , be aware and work towards safe guarding your marriage, remember you are coming to a different culture and you need to integrate ...not change your identity or culture . I always draw inspiration from the DR Odidis , a muslim couple WITH 5 CHILDREN who owns a big scientific outfit in toronto that is listed on some stock exchanges .... they work together and am so proud of them , i really wish to meet them some day .........