Hi guys,
I have been a reader of this forum for few months now. This forum provides me and my wife a hope. Thank you for all the great work, especially for providing answers to others in same situation, creating and keeping up the spreadsheet, giving each other a hope and sharing your stories. You all are awesome.
I am gonna share a small story on with you guys on forum today. Back in 2006, when I was in 11th grade in school, I started liking this girl in my class. I went crazy for her. I followed her for few months, did almost all of the crazy stuff a typical 17-year-old would do for a girl. Finally I purposed her on valentines day.. n guess what.. she said NO. She said she never had a boyfriend and she isn't planning to have one now either. I was devastated and my friends knew it (god bless them). Somehow my friends, through their girl friends manage to convince this girl to talk to me for once. I had no clue what my friends where upto. So on our last was of school after our last exam, we all were preparing to head home when my phone ringed. It was her on my side. My friends (god bless them again) had manage to do something remarkable. I was in state of shock. First thing I said to her was "I love you". She wasn’t ready for it. She asked me will I marry her? And of course I said YES! March 17th 2006.
Fast forward to 2008, our family moved to Canada. She said she will wait for me. Back then, it wasn’t cheap to call back home. Smart phones weren’t very smart (2nd gen iPhone was just launched) and all we had was yahoo messenger (god bless yahoo). However, I got busy with my struggles in new country, 2 jobs plus collage. But she messaged me everyday on yahoo, even though I wasn’t able to reply for few days. We would barely talk on phone (calling cards problems). She never forgot my birthday and always sent me gifts with her saved up pocket money. (Side note guys, if a girl buys you a gift instead of buying a suit for herself, marry her!). Anyhow, life moved on and technology got better and we started talked more. I got bit less busy in my life. She finished her collage and her university. Now the logical Indian next step for every girl. Shaddi! A consistent pressure from her family to get marry. Some great rishtas came and gone but she was unmoved. In 2008, I went back to see her after 4 years. Still we couldn’t spend time together at all (small city problems). Also my parents tricked me into go see "a relative" there which turned into a rishta for me. I manage to leave India without getting forced into a rishta.(Bravo)
Her parents were getting relentless about her wedding (rightly so). Finally, she told them about me. A few days of family drama but then they agree. Things weren’t quite rosy on my side though. When my parents tried to cash in on my "Canadian status" with a rishta, I refused. (I was always against dowry, regardless of where I was going to get marry). I told them about her, they went bananas. To make matters worse, I told them she was from a different cast as well. (Do not try this at home, don’t give them two big shocks in one day). Well to summaries that day, I got kicked out of my parent’s house. Thanks to some close relatives, I was back there after spending few nights in my car. (month later I bought my own house. hun kadh ke dekho).
After that incident, topic of marriage was like a walking into a Liverpool fan's house with Manchester United shirt. It was never pleasant. My dad made few trips to India but refuse to answer her parents call. In his last trip he finally agreed to meet the family. He loved them. My mom didn’t. But we manage to convince her.
And finally we got married last year. We spent few days together and then I had to come back to my job. I wanted to quit my job and stay with her longer. She forced me not to do that. All in total we spent 22 days together in 10 years!! Why I am sharing it today. 2 reasons
1. Never give up on your love. If you find someone who loves you more than you do to urself, don’t let them go. There is always an easy option of marrying the most "qualified" person your parents choose. You don’t want to regret on your death bed about not fulfilling your promise to someone.
Second reason
2. Happy 1st wedding Anniversary Tania. You are the strongest woman I know (stronger than Kangana Ranaut). I love you more each and everyday. Our waiting game is on almost end scenes. We will be together soon. Thank you for staying strong for all these years. Thank you for being yourself.
Moral of the story: Guys before you feel down for being away from your spouse, think of this one couple who have only spent 22 days together in 10 years. We understand your pain. We dont fight with each other over this issue. Some things arent in your hand so why worry about them. Keep up the spirit guys. You are awesome!
this journey of maintaing ur relation is not at all easy....the hardship faced by u ppl made me sad....but surely its the end as u mentioned .....ur support to each other during this long year paid u both with greatest of the reward.....surely the union of u both is at the perfect n correct time....back in 2006 u were just high school student....bt now u r all grown up n independent...so god is never late in his planing and he is gvng u the most perfect gift at the perfect time ....now u both r mature n can handle ur life greatly.....surely everyone should learn frm ur patience,determination and attitude to never lose hope....a big pat to u both frm all the forum members to maintain ur relation fr 10 long years with all the pressures around u ppl....and surely manyyyyyy more in comin years....god bless u both.....and i hope ur wife reads ur message over here...she will be in all tears aftr reading ur post...........best wishes ;D
