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I'm sorry your relationship is suffering because off all the stress! I do understand how
hard it all is.
My husband was denied PR status after his interview because they didn't
believe our marriage was genuine. That was the hardest thing, we waited for the letter,
and even though he forgot a lot during the questioning, we had hope that they would
see through it all, that we loved each other. But they didn't!!! So I appealed it and I did
it without a lawyer. It was a full blown hearing not ADR. My husband was questioned on
teleconference. The lawyer was really mean!!!!! But I stood up to him. It was hard and
I was kind of unprepared for their line of questioning, but I can understand how hard it
was for my husband during his interview now. And the judge believed me, so we won our
appeal.
I think you can get so caught up with what ifs. After my husband was denied we were both
so devastated mentally and emotionally from being apart, that I went there to Turkey and
waited for my appeal. It took 10 months for my hearing in Canada. Just try to remember the
reasons you wanted to live in Canada together, and don't let anyone try to control your
destinies.
ps. I hope you still appeal their decision
 
i'm sorry for u and as someone else here said, i'm surprised and it's upsetting to see that a high ranked Canadian officer considers more the traditions from a place u want to leave behind than the Canadian values (where u r free to do whatever u want, marry however u want, etc)

if u manage to stay together and get stronger after all this hardship, u will definitely prove her wrong...second, it's ur wife's right to appeal, so why not?....nothing bad will happen if u do....if u don't and u just re-apply, the result might be the same if u go though the same embassy...yeah waiting for an appeal would take a while :( so maybe u'll find a way to wait together...

if u would move together somewhere else for a while and apply from there (completely different embassy and culture) maybe it could work without appeal....but they might still question u why u didn't appeal if u thought we were wrong....

whatever u do, don't give up ur dream to b together in Canada!! good luck :)