Need Help Husband been abusing me since landed but have condition 51

[Divinity]

Hi, I landed in Canada in June this year . It's been three months since me and our kids came here and he has put his hands on me already. He doesn't want me going anywhere or talking to anyone. Someone mistakenly sent a text to my phone asking for a total stranger and he got upset and throw my bible at me and almost hit me in the face and I didn't do anything. I have been completely faithful to this man but insecurity is killing him because he thinks I'm gonna leave he threatens me almost daily that he is going to kill me and he swears on his life he's gonna go to prison for me . He also has a mental health issue and he said when he kills me he will just say he didn't take his medication. Our daughter is afraid of him because he is so rough with her. And was talking to me about being firm with a 2 yrs old and 7 and I said to him he has to have patience when dealing with kids the man jump on top of me and started strangling me I felt his hands on my neck for days . I don't know what to do because I do love him but he's hurting me.

 

[steaky]

Hi, I landed in Canada in June this year . It's been three months since me and our kids came here and he has put his hands on me already. He doesn't want me going anywhere or talking to anyone.

Not even picking up your child from school or you going to work? Or meeting your child's teacher? Or even if your child's teacher call you? Btw, have you or neighbor call police about the violence?

 

[Leon]

Go to the police and file charges against him. Immigration will make an exception on condition 51 if abuse is proven. It doesn't sound like it is safe for you and your kids to stay there.

 

[Divinity]

I haven't, and I don't think the neighbor knows anything. I told my girlfriend but he called her behind my back now she doesn't want to call me bc she don't want him to hurt me. My son just started school yesterday and I'm still looking for childcare for our 2 yrs old daughter. I had to go to a walk in clinic today bc last night I told my mom everything in front of him and he waited till we were having sex and forced himself in my bum even when I'm telling him no and crying and he called me from work today and said that's what I get for telling my mom. He puts on a front in front of people to make himself look good but treats me like shit. I really want us to work but I don't know what else to do.

 

[Divinity]

I'm scared.

 

[steaky]

I'm scared.

Go to a shelter and call the police.

 

[bellaluna]

I really want us to work but I don't know what else to do.

There is no way it will end well if you stay with him. If you want you and your children to live, you have to keep him away from your lives.

 

[Leon]

I haven't, and I don't think the neighbor knows anything. I told my girlfriend but he called her behind my back now she doesn't want to call me bc she don't want him to hurt me. My son just started school yesterday and I'm still looking for childcare for our 2 yrs old daughter. I had to go to a walk in clinic today bc last night I told my mom everything in front of him and he waited till we were having sex and forced himself in my bum even when I'm telling him no and crying and he called me from work today and said that's what I get for telling my mom. He puts on a front in front of people to make himself look good but treats me like *censored word*. I really want us to work but I don't know what else to do.

If you went to a walk in clinic, did you tell them that you are suffering spousal abuse? This will also help your case in proving the abuse later on. You should use the time when he is at work, take your kids and go to the police, tell them that your husband is abusing you, file charges against him and ask them to help you get to a women shelter.

You should then tell immigration that you left your husband because he was abusing you. You should file for divorce from your husband and ask for spousal support and half his assets. Even if you are not successful or he can make himself bankrupt to avoid having to pay you, you are still eligible for welfare while you get your life back on track and he is on the hook for it because as a sponsor, he is liable to sponsor you for the next 3 years and your kids even longer.

I don't see any reason why you should try to make things work with your husband. He is an abuser and he will never change. Your options are either staying with him and allowing it to continue or leave.

 

[Divinity]

I told the doctor that it was my husband who forced himself inside me and tear my bum and I was crying I couldn't stop crying yesterday when I think about everything I'm a mess . The doctor just prescribed a cream to put there to stop the pain and if it doesn't stop I should come back Saturday. My husband is on 2 yrs probation for assaulting a boy in our building and he was arrested under the mental Health act so we had to move, he can't be anywhere near that guy . I just want to thank everyone for your advice . This is really hard for me . My husband is evil and have friends in the wrong places so it's not just myself or my kids I'm worried about it's also my family back home because he knows where they live . None of his family here talks to him . He beat up his mothers husband here and she was so scared she had to call the police and he was admitted on the mental health ward at Humber river hospital .

 

[Leon]

I told the doctor that it was my husband who forced himself inside me and tear my bum and I was crying I couldn't stop crying yesterday when I think about everything I'm a mess . The doctor just prescribed a cream to put there to stop the pain and if it doesn't stop I should come back Saturday. My husband is on 2 yrs probation for assaulting a boy in our building and he was arrested under the mental Health act so we had to move, he can't be anywhere near that guy . I just want to thank everyone for your advice . This is really hard for me . My husband is evil and have friends in the wrong places so it's not just myself or my kids I'm worried about it's also my family back home because he knows where they live . None of his family here talks to him . He beat up his mothers husband here and she was so scared she had to call the police and he was admitted on the mental health ward at Humber river hospital .

The doctor should have advised you that you have been raped and whether you want to file charges. In Canada, it is not a man's right to do what he wants with his wife. If he forces himself on you when you say no, it is rape. So did you go to the police yet? Pack up your stuff and leave him. There is no happy ending for this relationship.

 

[eggsterminate]

The doctor should have advised you that you have been raped and whether you want to file charges. In Canada, it is not a man's right to do what he wants with his wife. If he forces himself on you when you say no, it is rape. So did you go to the police yet? Pack up your stuff and leave him. There is no happy ending for this relationship.

Leon has good advice here. Please seek help immediately. He has already threatened your life, this could end very badly for you. There's only so much strangers on the internet could do.
The longer you stay at your home, the more you put your and your kids' lives at risk. I have read multiple accounts of women like yourself and couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it is to leave an abuser especially if there are kids involved.
Find your nearest women's shelter, take your important documents(if he hides it from you don't bother) and kids and just get out one day. Do not look back. This is for your kids' safety. Get rid of your phone, get a separate pre-paid phone if possible and remove yourself from social media at the same time. You don't want your husband tracking you in any way possible.
If you have any friends in a different city and/or province, go to their place.

Also FYI, CIC will not remove you from the country : http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/publications/family-sponsorship.asp.

If you are a victim of abuse or neglect, you do not have to remain in an abusive situation. It does not matter whether the conditional permanent residence measure applies to you. In Canada, abuse is not tolerated. All physical and sexual abuse is a crime. All child abuse must be reported.

If you have received conditional permanent residence status, you can request an exception from the condition at any time during the two-year conditional period. You can do so by calling the CIC Call Centre at 1-888-242-2100. Any information you provide will be kept confidential.

 

[Taxed]

In my opinion, you are the guilty person in this situation. I know this might sound harsh but that's the truth.

This man is the reason we have a messed up society. Stop caring about your 51 condition if you are going through this abuse/rape unless your PR is more precious than your life.

A relationship between a husband and wife is called making love and not having sex like a goat just to do it boom boom bang bang.
If a man forces himself on you, be it your husband, your boyfriend or a stranger, it's an actual RAPE and he will spend some serious times behind bars for this.

So again the problem is you for accepting to live through this, if you cannot file charges against him for fear, then where else in the world you think you will file charges without fearing?

You will be protected by the police without having to worry 1% and he will be arrested of the spot for the rape charges let alone other abusing acts.

So call 911 or head to the nearest police station along with your medical report if available and file charges.
You and your kids will be safe, if you do not do it, then you will remain the problem in my opinion.

 

[eggsterminate]

In my opinion, you are the guilty person in this situation. I know this might sound harsh but that's the truth.

This man is the reason we have a messed up society. Stop caring about your 51 condition if you are going through this abuse/rape unless your PR is more precious than your life.

A relationship between a husband and wife is called making love and not having sex like a goat just to do it boom boom bang bang.
If a man forces himself on you, be it your husband, your boyfriend or a stranger, it's an actual RAPE and he will spend some serious times behind bars for this.

So again the problem is you for accepting to live through this, if you cannot file charges against him for fear, then where else in the world you think you will file charges without fearing?

You will be protected by the police without having to worry 1% and he will be arrested of the spot for the rape charges let alone other abusing acts.

So call 911 or head to the nearest police station along with your medical report if available and file charges.
You and your kids will be safe, if you do not do it, then you will remain the problem in my opinion.

How classy, victim-blaming! This is why more women don't seek help. Unless you've been in her shoes, you have no right to criticize her.

@Divinity: Unlike what this genius thinks, its not your fault. You need help and fast. Get out asap.
Here's a great place on the internet for other people who were in your situation: https://www.reddit.com/r/survivorsofabuse

 

[Taxed]

How classy, victim-blaming! This is why more women don't seek help. Unless you've been in her shoes, you have no right to criticize her.

@Divinity: Unlike what this genius thinks, its not your fault. You need help and fast. Get out asap.
Here's a great place on the internet for other people who were in your situation: https://www.reddit.com/r/survivorsofabuse

This is what you understood from my post? Seriously?

 

[eggsterminate]

This is what you understood from my post? Seriously?

Have you ever been abused in your life? Or are you a licensed psychologist? Do you know anything about what a battered woman goes through?
Please be more sensitive and refrain from blaming anyone. Your words may be on the internet, but they could have life-altering impact on people.