Need Advice on marrying on first visit

[keesio]

In my case me and my wife meet in first time in person and she stay in my country for few days and we get married after understand each other so up to you if u want to safe air ticket expense the you can stay there for some days and then get marry Cic will no objection.
You just explain in detail like how you meet and how you know each other etc.

Marriage quickly after first meetup is always a big red flag - unless it is an old school arranged marriage and both husband and wife are from a culture where arranged marriages are common. In that case it is still a red flag but not as huge.

I believe the OP is not of the same cultural background as her husband. And they met on-line. These are already minor red flags as it is.

 

[keesio]

It is -- do you think it's inappropriate to link to here? The thread veered wildly off topic, and got pretty heated, but it covers the same issues and the OP here can look at it without feeling she has to defend herself. In the end I felt that that issue became too personal, it's better if it's not directed at someone.

To be honest, I thought of the same thread when I read the OP's post. But I didn't want to be so negative here just because of that other case. I'm going to give this situation the benefit of the doubt. But of course you need to be careful which is why mikeymike's adivce is sound. Anyway, that other thread the OP was already being used for money. It was clear that it was a MoC.

 

[alliekay333]

look at this older thread, much of which is relevant to your situation:

Again, not a personal commentary, just the same as reading a mortgage before you sign it, and perhaps poking around the neighbourhood a bit.

Actually I did read through the thread, I skipped some of the less relevant parts but I understand what you are trying to say. In most parts this thread is not relevant to me. He has never asked me for money, and does not send up any red flags in the relationship aspect. We have been together over a year and things are great still. That's not to say we get along perfectly, we still have our disagreements on things and cultural differences but otherwise we are very happy.

I do appreciate the concern though and I'm glad that you are looking out for me. Thanks.

As to the rest of the advice given, thank you all.

 

[boatswife]

In my first marriage and first sponsership...we married on my first visit..we had a church type wedding...first marriage for us both...my ex got his visa without even an interview at the embassy! Now im on my second marriage ...did not marry right away...and this visa was refused..probably due to the first marriage going sour....if uou do go there and marry him first thing...do a church wedding ..it helps...also try to combine things..like add yourself on his bank acct..or if he has insurance add your name..things like that..also get letters from his family abd friends saying they know of the marriage...also save your bus tickets and stuff to show trips taken..people are right..it can be a red flag...but if you go that route just do your proof well..vest of luck!

 

[amjad1002]

Marriage quickly after first meetup is always a big red flag - unless it is an old school arranged marriage and both husband and wife are from a culture where arranged marriages are common. In that case it is still a red flag but not as huge.

I believe the OP is not of the same cultural background as her husband. And they met on-line. These are already minor red flags as it is.

Me and my spouse as well meet online I don't think it will be
Problem my spouse come twice after marriage.

 

[keesio]

Me and my spouse as well meet online I don't think it will be
Problem my spouse come twice after marriage.

It is a red flag. But if your other evidence is strong, it may help overcome that.

It is a good thing that she has come visited you twice. It is better than getting married and then never seeing each other since.

 

[VioletBlue]

Oh PLEASE don't get married the 1st time you meet!!...its not a good idea in this situation(when you want to sponsor him)...or in any other case! Just get to know the guy 1st....Trust me I Know...I've talked to my now husband for 2 y before we met in person, and then we lived together for 5 years before getting married...talking online is Not the same as knowing someone in person...You'll see...Even tho you feel like you know each other well and are comfortable talking Online....You almost feel like you have to get to know each other all over again...in person

So just take it slow....get to know him well...and take care of Yourself first and foremost....All the best!

 

[on-hold]

Actually I did read through the thread, I skipped some of the less relevant parts but I understand what you are trying to say. In most parts this thread is not relevant to me. He has never asked me for money, and does not send up any red flags in the relationship aspect. We have been together over a year and things are great still. That's not to say we get along perfectly, we still have our disagreements on things and cultural differences but otherwise we are very happy.

I do appreciate the concern though and I'm glad that you are looking out for me. Thanks.

As to the rest of the advice given, thank you all.

That's cool -- I don't want to be the guy who's always warning people about international marriages, either, it's a jerk role to play. 90% of the time it's not even a question of fraud, it's just that people literally do not understand that the other person has an entirely different idea of what marriage is, and it seems normal to them. In Thailand, for example, the traditional form of marriage is somewhat transactional, and has more of an arranged component than here (so it's adapted well to the age of the Internet) -- but because it's a transaction, it can also break down fairly easily, and the woman will leave or stop participating if her expectations aren't met. A lot of the men who marry in Thailand aren't aware of these expectations at all.

 

[amjad1002]

It is a red flag. But if your other evidence is strong, it may help overcome that.

It is a good thing that she has come visited you twice. It is better than getting married and then never seeing each other since.

May be you would right but we are living to gather in 3nd country.

 

[alliekay333]

people literally do not understand that the other person has an entirely different idea of what marriage is, and it seems normal to them.

That is very true. We have talked a lot about what our expectations are for marriage and what roles we expect to play and what we expect from each other. One thing that helps a lot is that we have the same religion. It is a major part of both our lives and something that actually drew us to each other in the first place. I know that there is much to learn about him still and that he will not be the same in person as he is online, nor will I. It is something we both know and yet we still love and respect each other based on our moral values, ideals, and the person we are. Even though we may be somewhat different in person our basic personalities and beliefs are still the same. It will be a culture shock for both of us and a major adjustment but we are willing to make it work.

 

[CutiePie92]

That is very true. We have talked a lot about what our expectations are for marriage and what roles we expect to play and what we expect from each other. One thing that helps a lot is that we have the same religion. It is a major part of both our lives and something that actually drew us to each other in the first place. I know that there is much to learn about him still and that he will not be the same in person as he is online, nor will I. It is something we both know and yet we still love and respect each other based on our moral values, ideals, and the person we are. Even though we may be somewhat different in person our basic personalities and beliefs are still the same. It will be a culture shock for both of us and a major adjustment but we are willing to make it work.

alliekay333, seems like both of you have a healthy way of thinking and your expectations of each other are fine. the fact that you have the same religion as him is great, even if there are going to be cultural differences, religion is common. as others have said, don't marry on the first visit, get to know him first. from your posts, i don't see too much of a risk of marriage fraud (from his part). good luck!

 

[ninakap30]

In my case me and my wife meet in first time in person and she stay in my country for few days and we get married after understand each other so up to you if u want to safe air ticket expense the you can stay there for some days and then get marry Cic will no objection.
You just explain in detail like how you meet and how you know each other etc.

how much tıme are u marrıed?dıd they accept ur applıcatıon?

 

[amjad1002]

how much tıme are u marrıed?dıd they accept ur applıcatıon?

Now almost 2 year in this Aug. And yes they accept our application as we show them our marriage photo actually we did marriage in two part at first we just did court marriage and then she come second time so we did our ceremony with all relatives.

 

[keesio]

I could be wrong but I think Nina was asking if your application was approved (you got approved for PR)

 

[amjad1002]

I could be wrong but I think Nina was asking if your application was approved (you got approved for PR)

Yes they approved as per my knowledge.