Marrying my boyfriend! (and I am also a guy)..

[Corey]

You got it right-- gay marriage. Myself and my boyfriend are planning to marry when I come to Canada for a visit in April 2009. The tricky part of our story is that we haven't met yet.. It will be our first time meeting each other in April. I've known him for 8 months now, constantly communicating through phone, email and chat only. He wants me to stay with him in Canada after the marriage so we will be applying for a spousal sponsorship. He is considering an in-Canada application but I am worried that our application will be viewed in a negative way because of our story-- as you know, a relationship formed online. We can show proof of communication though- chats, letters, greetings cards, etc. Would appreciate your opinion/advice on how we should proceed. Thanks very much!

 

[siki]

well our is kind of same story but me and bf we first met online then i came here mer stay together for 6 month and then we got marreid.but its ok so many people have same story as long as u have even evidencese so dun need to worry.if u want any other imformation about ay marraige let me know

 

[Corey]

Hi Siki, thanks for the response. It's good that you stayed together for 6 months.. but in my case I cannot do that. I live and have a good job at United Arab Emirates so I actually prefer to return after my visit in April 2009. However, I don't mind giving-up my job in exchange for a life in Canada together with my spouse so I am also fine with in-land application. I have read that I can stay maximum 6 months on visitor's visa but what happens after that has expired and my PR is not processed yet? On the other hand, If I leave Canada after our marriage in April and file the sponsorship abroad, it will be difficult for us to prove our marriage since we have not stayed together. What is your take on this? Is it better to stay and live with him in Canada or should I return to the UAE and file the sponsorship from here?

 

[med]

Corey how u met or how long u have been together is not really that seriuos as long as u have a legal marriage certificate that proves that ur marriage is legitimate and that u have all the other pieces of evidence like chat logs , calling records , emails , and photos of both of you , this is what really count to prove that ur relationship is genuine so u better concentrate on collecting all the evidence that u will need for that . second, if ur visitor s visa has expired during the process of ur application and in some how u were refused entry again to canada then u kiss ur application goodbye , i would really recommend an outland application as it is faster but u can also do the inland one but be sure that the visitor s visa is renewed before it is expired , good luck

 

[Leon]

When you do an inland application, you are advised not to travel because if for whatever reason you are refused entry, your application is gone. If you do outland, it doesn't mean you have to stay outside the country while it's being processed. As long as you have a visit visa, you can stay in Canada but if you do outland and you get called in for an interview, you would have to go to the visa office you applied through.

If you choose to stay while your application is being processed, you can't work. Inland will get you a work permit in 5-6 months and PR much later. Outland will get you PR in 6-8 months in most cases, depending on where you apply.

You should apply to extend your visit visa when gets close to expiring.

 

[Corey]

Thanks for all the response, guys! I have a very clear understanding now of the process! =)

 

[Lois Lane]

Having all the evidence suggested above sometimes isn't enough. Everyone sends virtually the same evidence in. Questions are still raised by the IO's as to whether or not the relationship is genuine. In a situation where you have met online but haven't been physically together long it won't be as easy. If you can stay any great length of time together, either you coming here or him going there before you marry you will stand a better chance of getting approved first time around

Goodluck

 

[Corey]

Thanks for that, Lois. There are constraints why we cannot be physically together. For one, he is not allowed to stay with me here in the UAE as there is no provision for a residence permit unless he gets employed. He wouldn't even consider looking for a job here as he has to stay in Canada for sometime to be eligible to apply for citizenship. In my case, I can only stay with him in Canada for as long as my visitor's permit is valid..and it will be difficult for us because I can't work for about 6 months or so until I get an open work permit! What's the best thing to do then? It seems that I am more flexible to move around but moving to Canada will mean losing my job here in the UAE, become financially unstable, and can only stay in Canada til my visitor's permit expires... Any thoughts?

 

[eduardoF]

In my case, I can only stay with him in Canada for as long as my visitor's permit is valid..and it will be difficult for us because I can't work for about 6 months or so until I get an open work permit! What's the best thing to do then? It seems that I am more flexible to move around but moving to Canada will mean losing my job here in the UAE, become financially unstable, and can only stay in Canada til my visitor's permit expires... Any thoughts?

You do not need to move to Canada, neither does he need to move to the UAE. But if he goes and visits you in the UAE for a week or two, and then a few months later you go visit him in Canada, that will show more commitment.

If Canada is too far, then try meeting midway. This is the low season, so you could get cheap tickets to Europe - schedule a couple of holidays together, take lots of pictures of you together... In other words, you must build your case, and show that your relationship is stronger than chatting online.

What you need to understand - and I say this without any prejudice - is that to the eyes of an Immigration Officer, it will look highly suspicious that two people meet online, get married the first time they meet, and immediately applies for a residence permit. It just raises all sorts of red flags.

What you can do, since you have already scheduled your trip in April would be to get married, go back to the UAE (Am I right to assume you could get in trouble in the UAE if you're found to be in a same-sex relationship?), have him visit you for a week. And only then apply for sponsorship.

It's a big decision that will have great impact on the lives of both of you. It's better to go slow and do things right - don't take unnecessary risks.

good luck.

 

[Corey]

Thank you, eduardo. Your advice gave even more light! I think we will forego the wedding plans in April and do it at a much later date. I agree with you that we can't be very hasty on matters like this. Three words sum it all up- "Build your case" as you say it. If we can't be physically together, we have to have enough evidence to show commitment. This makes a lot of sense.

Thanks everyone again for all the input!

 

[Corey]

Oh sorry I forgot to answer your question.. no I won't get in trouble here in the UAE even if I am married to the same s3x. If there's a need to declare my social status for whatever reason, I am marking myself "Single". Anyway, not may countries recognize same-s3x marriage and UAE is definitely one of them.

 

[RobsLuv]

You have to understand that the concern of Immigration Canada is whether the marriage was entered into simply to facilitate the entry of the foreign national to Canada. The weak link in your story is not the fact that you are a same-s3x couple, it's that you are getting married, in Canada, on your first meeting. That "smacks" of intent to establish a relationship only to gain entry to Canada - especially since you've maintained an online relationship for less than a year. Lots of couples - heters3xual and otherwise - meet online . . . but there are typically visits to each other over a period of time where families meet and each has a chance to get to know the other better BEFORE a marriage takes place. It's just my opinion, but I don't think that some emails, chats and proof of phone conversations over an 8 months period before a first meeting/marriage in Canada, and then an inland PR ap, is going to fly as enough proof of a genuine relationship. And inland aps have no right of appeal. You'd be setting yourself up to come to Canada without the ability to work or establish a life - at the risk of having the ap refused and having to return home again after a year or more.

My suggestion: your Canadian bf should travel to see you in your country at least a couple of times, and you should come to Canada to visit (and then return home again) for a few visits before your marriage. Take some time to really establish a relationship - right now, it'll be way too easy for CIC to make a case that you just want to get into Canada.

 

[Corey]

I understand that, Robs. Thanks! That's why we are also planning to postpone the wedding plans in April and move it to a much later date. I think it doesn't matter when we want to get married-- it's the "Big C" we have to prove anyway- COMMITMENT. There are two strategies which we THINK would both work:

1. Get married in April 2009.
>> I'll go back home after the wedding then have him visit me here in the UAE after a few months. I'll return to Canada on September 2009 for another visit, go back home again.. then apply for PR out-land. In this way, we can establish commitment POST-MARRIAGE.

2. Get married on September 2009.
>> My first visit will then be in April, go back home, then have him visit me here in the UAE after a few months. We will then get married in September 2009 on my 2nd visit.. go back home and apply for PR out-land. In this way, we would have established commitment as BFs PRE-MARRIAGE.

To be honest with you guys, the reason why we are planning to marry on our first meeting is because it is sooo damn difficult to maintain an online relationship!! Everything is so right between us that we are just both paranoid (can't help it!) of losing each other.. We both can't get a full sense of security with the promises we do on the phone, letters, and chat! We just want to tie each other up when we first meet so we we'll both have peace of mind knowing that we're finally "taken".. It may sound a shallow reason.. but you know.. people are crazy when they're in-love

Which one in your opinion then would best work? No. 1 or No. 2??

 

[Leon]

I think 2, then it´s not like you got married first time you met.

 

[RobsLuv]

I agree - option 2. Try to visit as many times in between as you can because all of that counts as proof of your genuine relationship. And, seriously, don't marry just to "tie each other up" in a commitment . . . if it's right, you can trust one another, no matter how much distance is between you. I know it's difficult to maintain a long distance relationship - we did it for over 2 years - but surprisingly, it was part of what taught us to trust one another and it strengthened our bond. A piece of paper that says you're committed to one another is not a barrier to cheating if someone is prone to cheat. Marriage should be something that happens because you're already committed to spending your lives together - not something to do to ensure a commitment from one another.