Making Marriage work?

[dair2dv8103100]

my husband and i have been married for six years and in the immigration process for over three years now. i can not describe the toll this process has taken on our relationship. The years apart have devestated us and i wonder if we are going to be able to salvage it when this process is finished. My heart is broken.

Wow lynn...I admire both your persistance and courage!! I pray all will work out for you. Have you been able to visit him at all?
I do hope you will soon have your husband here with you and you can repair your hearts and finally move on with your lives together!!
Many blessings to you both!

 

[sbwv09]

I was apart from my husband for 7 years.. it's hard to make it work and we broke up for a couple of months in the midst of it.. but we couldn't move on from each other! It's so hard.. I could have stayed in the US and he would have been unhappy, not been able to find a good job, etc.. or I could come here and face the same. Sometimes I get mad that most people don't have to make the choices that we do or go through the things we do, but I believe we will get our reward in the end.. I just wish CIC wouldn't make it as hard on us as possible!

 

[kelKel]

You are all in my prayers. You all have a tremendous strength to endure what you have. I'll never complain about my situation again.

 

[dair2dv8103100]

I think one of the hardest parts of being apart is the time difference for my wife and I. I am in Ontario, she is in Moscow. The 8hrs difference is hard. By the time I get home from work it's 2am in Moscow, she stays up most of the time so we can share some time.

I guess we are lucky now with the internet as I cannot think of how hard this process would be without it.

We watch a lot of movies together (Start them at the same time, then talk/type to each other as we watch), use Skype (video chat), Instant Messaging, and SMS a Lot.

Yes, I agree Tallen. We only have 4 hours difference right now and 5 hours in daylight savings...but still... It is always him staying up, trying to convince the cyber cafe owner to stay open just 5 more minutes so we can have those precious few minutes together.

At the same time I am thankful for the internet as we would never have met otherwise. We often do the same...though usually not enough time for a whole movie we listen to music and watch videos together. Reminisce about when we were together last...sigh :

I am thankful for this forum!! I dont know what I would be doing if I did not happen across it!!

 

[locolynn]

Wow lynn...I admire both your persistance and courage!! I pray all will work out for you. Have you been able to visit him at all?
I do hope you will soon have your husband here with you and you can repair your hearts and finally move on with your lives together!!
Many blessings to you both!

I'm in Morocco now alhamdulillah. I'm on maternity leave so I brought our son here. Being together is definitely berter than being apart, but damage has been done and not being able to move forward or make plans is killing us.

 

[dair2dv8103100]

I'm in Morocco now alhamdulillah. I'm on maternity leave so I brought our son here. Being together is definitely berter than being apart, but damage has been done and not being able to move forward or make plans is killing us.

I cannot imagine how hard that must be. I dont know your story or situation but I really pray this is all corrected and you can be together as a family insahalillah.

We too want children and I am not getting any younger!! We have planned to wait till he is here and working a year. Then we would like to go ahead but with all people have said here.... I dont know. If this type of situation were to happen to us...I would have to wait till my daughter is of age to say where she wants to live before I could just leave and live there with him....that is many years away yet too.

I dont know whether to praise or curse the internet today :-\

 

[tgchi13]

We watch a lot of movies together (Start them at the same time, then talk/type to each other as we watch), use Skype (video chat), Instant Messaging, and SMS a Lot.

That made me smile - my husband and I do that too!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479773

 

[nyssa]

My husband and I have been apart for over a year. We were seperated unexpectedly at the US border May 2009. My life hasn't been the same since. We used to live together for 2 years. We thought he could stay in the US (he was a minor when his mom brought him over from Canada - long, drawn out story...) but regardless, it's been hell.

Luckilly I get to visit him every 2-3 months because I have the best boss in the world. But just this week, a close friend died in Canada, and I can't be there to make my husband feel better. It's times like this when I just want to scream to CIC "WE'RE GENUINE! CAN'T YOU TELL??? SERIOUSLY!" But I still have to wait... I hope to live with him by February 2011. Can't believe so much time has passed.

You guys are all in my thoughts every day! We'll get there.

 

[tgchi13]

My husband and I have been apart for over a year. We were seperated unexpectedly at the US border May 2009. My life hasn't been the same since. We used to live together for 2 years. We thought he could stay in the US (he was a minor when his mom brought him over from Canada - long, drawn out story...) but regardless, it's been hell.

Luckilly I get to visit him every 2-3 months because I have the best boss in the world. But just this week, a close friend died in Canada, and I can't be there to make my husband feel better. It's times like this when I just want to scream to CIC "WE'RE GENUINE! CAN'T YOU TELL??? SERIOUSLY!" But I still have to wait... I hope to live with him by February 2011. Can't believe so much time has passed.

You guys are all in my thoughts every day! We'll get there.

Nyssa I understand, you know that. Right now I'm hurting because my husband's birthday is in two days and I won't be with him. We've spent more of his birthdays apart than together since we met.

 

[nyssa]

I do know! Wish him a happy birthday for me... someday it really will be a happy one. How is everything going??

 

[locolynn]

I was apart from my husband for 7 years.. it's hard to make it work and we broke up for a couple of months in the midst of it.. but we couldn't move on from each other! It's so hard.. I could have stayed in the US and he would have been unhappy, not been able to find a good job, etc.. or I could come here and face the same. Sometimes I get mad that most people don't have to make the choices that we do or go through the things we do, but I believe we will get our reward in the end.. I just wish CIC wouldn't make it as hard on us as possible!

7 years. You are a champ.

It's been said a million times on a million different threads...marriages are hard enough when 2 people live in the same house, come from similar backgrounds etc...we have to work extra hard and then some!

Lynn

 

[tgchi13]

I do know! Wish him a happy birthday for me... someday it really will be a happy one. How is everything going??

I will pass on your birthday wishes!

Everything is wonderful, other than the distance. Six years and a lot of honesty can do wonders for a mature couple

 

[nyssa]

I hear you. I told my husband, "I don't think most people can do this..." It takes a TREMENDOUS amount of trust, communication, love and patience. Trust is the big one and not blind trust... actual matter-of-fact trust. I'm glad you're doing okay otherwise

 

[tgchi13]

we couldn't move on from each other!

In context, that IS love: The inability to move on from a healthy relationship. No wonder you fight for this.

 

[tgchi13]

I hear you. I told my husband, "I don't think most people can do this..." It takes a TREMENDOUS amount of trust, communication, love and patience. Trust is the big one and not blind trust... actual matter-of-fact trust. I'm glad you're doing okay otherwise

Blind trust? No, not for me. I require transparency. I will call him out on anything I find questionable (and this is where a person's past sneaks in...) but I have no reason not to trust, even when I've searched out reasons to find fault.

You know that you have my support and I do believe you will succeed.