Farney Bhoy's jokes of the week. To cheer up those waiting on news from LVO.
“I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”
“I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
“I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.”
The universe implodes. No matter
.”
I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance.”
“The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.”
Old accountants never die; they just lose their balance.
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
An Irish priest was driving to New York and got stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smelled alcohol on the priest's breath and then saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He asked, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," said the priest.
The trooper asked, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looked at the bottle and exclaimed, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
'Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.'
'I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.'
I can hear music coming out of my printer. I think the paper’s jammin’ again
To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can’t run
I hate when I’m on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button and I have to get off and eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic
I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’ - I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid
And finally
Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Thatcher is thinking: "These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him"
Madhuri is thinking: "Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped."
Musharraf is thinking: "Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me."
Vajpayee is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again."
8)
