The wife asked me to go out and get something that would make her more sexy!
You should have seen her face when I came back with twelve cans!
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the counter, "I want to open a damn cheque account, and I want it done NOW !"
The astonished woman replies : "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say ?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said, I want to open a damn cheque account, and I want it done NOW !"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."
The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of the situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to tolerate such abuse, and decides to have a stern word with the old grump.
"Sir, what seems to be the problem here ?"
"There is no damn problem, you fool" the man says. "I just won £200 million on the damn lottery, and I want to put my damn money in this damn bank."
"I see," says the manager, "and is this bitch giving you a hard time ?"
Went into the butchers and asked for a sheeps head. I said..
"just leave the eyes in - it's to see us through the week"
An old lady is being examined by the Dr. He asks her have you ever been bedridden? she says yes I have and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few times too!
was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check
her balance.
Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old bitch over.
