Little Evidence

[Anthropos]

Hi guys! I hope things are progressing well for all of you in your application filling out/waiting.

I have a strange situation, and it's really starting to stress me out. My husband and I (he is the sponsor) started dating in August of 2008. I am an American citizen, and he is Canadian. We're from different religious backgrounds. He's 9 years older than me. It's a first marriage for us both, and no children. We became engaged in April of 2009 - privately, with just the two of us there. We got married in August of 2010 - again, privately, with just the two of us, the officiant, and two hired witnesses.

We're currently living together in Canada, and my family and friends are from the opposite side of the states. They were not able to attend the wedding, though they would have liked to. They are, instead, holding a reception for us as soon as we can get to the states (there are other issues preventing us from crossing the border easily together).

Now, my husband is estranged from his family. He has a few friends in the area whom I have met. I've stayed in their homes with him, I've gone to their homes for dinner with him. They have known about our relationship for about two years now, and they've known that I've been here with him for about a year and a half.

Here's the tough part. They don't know we're married. My husband insists that here in Canada people just don't get engaged, and certainly not married, as quickly as we did. He would feel embarrassed to admit that he got married so quickly. (No, he isn't already married to another woman, and no, there isn't any infidelity) And so, he doesn't want his friends to know that we're doing anything more than just living together. One set noticed my ring around Christmas, so they believe we're engaged. The other set doesn't know anything.

We sent in our application a few months ago, but I'm really fretting about this. He also did not submit a relationship letter with the application.

I guess my question is - How much trouble is this going to cause us? How good are the odds that we'll get called for an interview? Also, will we both get called to interviews, or just one of us? Is there any way to send in more evidence at this point? Would they request more evidence before rejecting our application?

Our evidence on his side is pretty slim. I did submit all the evidence I had, such as pictures of us both at my sisters wedding, and him meeting my family, and our wedding pictures, and my Facebook log when I announced our wedding, and pictures from us traveling together, as well as MSN logs from early in our relationship, and flights to and from the States while I was down there.

I'm going to be one very unhappy wife if this causes our application to be denied. ???

 

[HoneyBird2]

Only time will tell when an Officer starts working on your file.
And each officer is different. Some make a huge fuss, some don't.
Its normal to second guess your application when you submit.
But if you fret and stress, it does not help. Its out of your hands now. What can you do?> but wait and try to live life normally.
It seems though that you are questioning why your hubby doesnt want people to know. That you need to resolve with him. Ask him when will be the time in the future that he will let people know you are married.

It has been noted here that several people with little information had no problems in getting processed.
The good things are: neither of you were married before, neither have kids, you are from a visa exempt country
I am not sure what you meant by relationship letter. But if you did an outland application then you will get an answer faster than an inland application.

 

[Baloo]

Some of the things you describe seem acceptable, like not everyone can attend a wedding due to travel issues. But... clearly there is more to this than your post suggests.

Personal judgement

The reason that your husband gives for not telling friends is very odd.
My wife and I met and married fairly quickly, all our friends knew about it. many of our friends are Canadian, some were witnesses and others attended our wedding. In my experience your husband is not describing a normal reaction from Canadians.


Opinion

Immigration request information for good reason, the fact that your husband did not submit anything about your relationship is likely to be an issue.
Even if you had provided loads of other information as proof, the lack of a description from your husband is not good.
Firstly the application asks for it and secondly, how would an IO be able to judge if your relationship is genuine if nothing is submitted?

I think the probability of an interview will be a 100% certainty.

People have to take the process very seriously, is seems you husband has not.

 

[Baloo]

I am not sure what you meant by relationship letter.

Maybe IMM 5490 ?

On a separate sheet of paper, provide any additional details of your current relationship that you believe would help to prove your relationship is genuine and continuing.

 

[HoneyBird2]

oh!
I wrote only a half page for that! Just detailing future vacation plans. I don't think its a major issue as they are living together.

 

[Patricksgirls]

Hmm I am an American with kids, fiance is 23 years older than me, we are both married although he has been separated for five years and me two years. All his friends and family know about me and vice versa. They keep asking us when we are going to get married not sure what the answer for the excuse of people do not get married that soon is. I would be worried that he did not right a relationship letter based on my own feelings of the fact that I would be questioning how he truly felt about me.
I guess you will just have to sit back and see what the official decided. I am counting on an interview myself and maybe you should prepare for one also.

 

[HoneyBird2]

In the meantime, save all the bits of evidences just in case you have an interview.
And you need to resolve the issue of not telling with your husband. I would be sad to have to hide it. And its gets complicated to explain it later on.
Ask him why he did not do the relationship letter, maybe he thought it was not necessary. I did not know what to put in mine! And
Think about it this way....marriage is what all are supposed to be doing and not living together according to religion and society. So why would he not want to say you are married?

 

[Anthropos]

Thanks for the quick advice and support. I appreciate it very much!

My husband didn't write a letter because I didn't ask him for one. I was under the impression that a letter was more of a requirement for the person being sponsored, and more "additional proof" from the sponsor. So, that may be my fault. If it is a requirement, can I ask him to write one and send it in late? The job of completing and compiling the application fell largely to me alone. He felt that since I was unemployed I had plenty of time to work on it. I did submit a letter of my own, about 2 pages long.

Although my husband says that it is "not normal" for Canadians to marry so quickly, I don't think that's actually the issue. I've looked up the statistics, and we're actually very normal. I think the issue is that he's been unattached for a long time and has teased his buddies who have gotten married, and he doesn't want to hear what they'll have to say about it now that HE'S married. And for years he's told them you should date for at least 5 years, then be engaged for at least 5 years, and THEN get married.

Bleh, but I'm with you guys. I find it quite insulting, and it does hurt my feelings. But, at the same time, my husbands relationship with his friends is his business, so........ I don't know. Every relationship has issues, and this is certainly one of ours. More than my personal feelings, I just need to prepare for how this will impact our application.

@ Baloo - Do you think we will both be called to interview, or will it just be me?

@ HoneyBird - Thank you for the words of comfort. I understand this issue will have to be delt with... but I hope it'll just be between me and my husband, not us and a judge, and and immigration officer, and........

 

[HoneyBird2]

I think you should not worry and don't send. Its just a page. (my thoughts).
I am not sure about the interview as I did not have one myself..
Just continue to save all the possible information you have.
When you do get called for an interview, there is a list of questions that you will need to be prepared to answer.
We can share it with you.
But it makes no sense worrying about it now.
I really do think you are having second thoughts about the application and this is normal around the forum. I had them myself for a long while.
And for you doing the application on your own, there was a thread on this recently and alot of people also indicated that it fell majorly to one person that the other. And it was the women who were doing the majority of the work! So its not that your husband did not care, but he trusted you enough to have you take care of it.
Now i understand your husband's problem. lol. I guess he does not want to be teased by people since he is 'eating' his words about waiting so long to get married. |Its probably gonna take him a while to come out. But it does not seem that he loves you less...just means its manly pride and ego.lol. Give him some time, but do encourage him to go out more as couples.

 

[toby]

My husband didn't write a letter because I didn't ask him for one. I was under the impression that a letter was more of a requirement for the person being sponsored, and more "additional proof" from the sponsor. So, that may be my fault. If it is a requirement, can I ask him to write one and send it in late?

Yes, can't hurt, and the sooner the better. If your husband is worried about what his buddies will say, you can reassure him that the Visa Officer is not going to call them and read them the husband's relationship letter. LOL


I think the issue is that he's been unattached for a long time and has teased his buddies who have gotten married, and he doesn't want to hear what they'll have to say about it now that HE'S married. And for years he's told them you should date for at least 5 years, then be engaged for at least 5 years, and THEN get married.

Bleh, but I'm with you guys. I find it quite insulting, and it does hurt my feelings.

If I were you I would not be hurt. I can recall feeling sheepish when I married quickly, and had to endure the teasing of my friends (since I had been so adamant about not marrying quickly). It was a childish reaction, but real for me none the less. Now, I have gone the other way, and care perhaps too little about what others think of my actions!

 

[canadianwoman]

Did you apply outland or inland?

We're currently living together in Canada, and my family and friends are from the opposite side of the states. They were not able to attend the wedding, though they would have liked to. They are, instead, holding a reception for us as soon as we can get to the states ...

Proof of this upcoming reception could be included in your relationship proof. Letters from family and friends stating that they know you are a couple, wanted to attend the wedding, but couldn't because of XYZ could also help.

Now, my husband is estranged from his family. He has a few friends in the area whom I have met. I've stayed in their homes with him, I've gone to their homes for dinner with him. They have known about our relationship for about two years now, and they've known that I've been here with him for about a year and a half.

Some people who are estranged from their family just state the reasons in the section of the forms where it asks if family knows about the relationship. In any case, you have met his friends, so that should be enough.

Here's the tough part. They don't know we're married. My husband insists that here in Canada people just don't get engaged, and certainly not married, as quickly as we did. He would feel embarrassed to admit that he got married so quickly. (No, he isn't already married to another woman, and no, there isn't any infidelity) And so, he doesn't want his friends to know that we're doing anything more than just living together. One set noticed my ring around Christmas, so they believe we're engaged. The other set doesn't know anything.

If the visa officer finds out about this, no matter what the explanation, he/she will have questions about the relationship. Don't lie about it if directly asked at the interview, but don't volunteer this info either.

We sent in our application a few months ago, but I'm really fretting about this.

Since you've already sent everything in, just continue to collect evidence in case of an interview.

I guess my question is - How much trouble is this going to cause us? How good are the odds that we'll get called for an interview? Also, will we both get called to interviews, or just one of us?

It partly depends on how you presented the evidence. If you didn't state that his friends don't know you are married, it is unlikely the visa officer will find out. If you gave reasons for your family not being at the wedding, the visa officer may not question it.
Keep in mind that an American/Canadian couple is the most likely type of couple to get accepted. Still, with little evidence they will probably want an interview. They interview the applicant; occasionally they phone the sponsor. If the sponsor is there at the visa office with the applicant, the VO will probably call them both in to be interviewed separately.

Is there any way to send in more evidence at this point? Would they request more evidence before rejecting our application?

You can send in more to the visa office processing the file. Some forum members have said that material they sent in later never ended up on their file; others have said that it did.
Sometimes the visa officer requests more info before rejecting the file.

Our evidence on his side is pretty slim. I did submit all the evidence I had, such as pictures of us both at my sisters wedding, and him meeting my family, and our wedding pictures, and my Facebook log when I announced our wedding, and pictures from us traveling together, as well as MSN logs from early in our relationship, and flights to and from the States while I was down there.

It could very well be enough.

 

[missmini]

i don't want to scare u, just something to be aware...i know in Canada especially even if u r common-law u will declare that in ur tax papers or other applications for example; r u filling ur tax papers together and if yes what status do u guys put? if u put common-law and u r already married i think u should explain that...if u r to fill the taxes for 2010, maybe u can put married and keep these papers as evidence for the future

i had some notes gathered from the Spousal Sponsorship thread made by Leon (the 1st sticky one and it was there where i read about this

now, what's done is done; if u worry and stress yourself u will b not helping any of u; try to see where u lack evidence and keep gathering proofs especially for those points; u can keep these proofs for the interview or update ur file from time to time with them

good luck!!

 

[boasorte]

My partner and I got married fairly quickly as well, and we had/have our friends and family's support, aside from my family who mostly don't know about my sexual orientation everybody knows we are married and together.

However every case/relationship is different, I 'think' I can understand your husband hesitation on telling his friends about your relationship but if you are THE ONE, why doesn't he just tell everyone about it ?! How long are you guys going to be hiding your marital status for?

Having a small wedding(just you both attending it) with "hired witnesses" might raise some red flags, as well as the fact that your husband isn't completely open about your relationship/your marital status. CIC folks may think you are coping with all these factors just because you want to immigrate to Canada.

But you are an american citizen, things are way easier for you guys, so you may be lucky and get approved with no problems.

I sincerely wish you luck, on this Immigration matter as well as with your relationship.

 

[Anthropos]

Thanks for the words of support and comfort. I guess I'll just hold on and hope for the best.

@ Canadianwoman - We applied outland, and I didn't mention his reluctance to clarify our relationship to his friends. I produced the best evidence I could under the circumstances, and left it at that.

@ missmini - He does aknowledge our marriage, to me, my family, my friends, and select mutual friends. On his taxes and what not he would also say that he's married. I really think the issue is that he doesn't want to be teased, which is silly, but human. He says that around our first anniversary we can let them know we're married.

With any luck, our immigration issues will be settled by then!

 

[Baloo]

I really think the issue is that he doesn't want to be teased, which is silly, but human.

This guy loves you, you are "the one", but he can't stand up to the possibility he may be teased, despite the obvious concern it causes you?
He needs to rethink his priorities.

When I married my wife I wanted to tell everyone, so IMO his reaction is not "human".

On the immigration side of this:
If you are called for interview (no guarantees either way) and this subject is raised by the IO, you will have to tell the truth and that could cause problems.
I think you need to get your man to sort this out with you and his friends well before any possible interview. Now would be a good time.