Level of Interdependence in Spousal Relationship

[Marty11]

mr70, I paid the fees, the sponsorer, not her.
Thanks for your ecouragement, I finally think we will be all right....and as you say, every relationship has its dynamics. Hopefully ours will work in our favour.

 

[Marty11]

Thanks Charlie for your thoughtful insight.
I'm going to venture the opinion that one of the things they are looking at is the short length of your courtship, - yes, this one is an issue as well - and maybe the fact that overall since you've been married you may not have spent a lot of time face to face with your spouse - 5 weeks total so far-, and don't seem to be making any effort to combine your lives - we both have jobs, I have only a limited number of days per year for vacation, I have a son in University for which I am directly responsable, he is in my custody, and I pay child support to my ex for my daughter, giving up my job is not an option here. This gives the impression that the marriage is not meant to last and you are avoiding emotional and financial "entanglement" to make it easier to separate once the visa is in hand.

When selecting chat records and emails to send, don't just pick days at random, LOOK at your conversations and choose actual dates when you discussed matters that demonstrate financial and emotional interdependence. - I did just that, I have chosen three records from each month, and many of those were hand picked showing some relevant discussion we had regarding our future together, planning our marriage and wedding party, and so on, discussing how we would handle our finances together, chosing new furniture for our house and so on...
Also we make many day to day decisions together, how we plan our lives on a day to day basis, we talk daily at least once.
Charlie, I got your points and I will make sure we have all those for June.
Thank you very much.

 

[CharlieD10]

You're welcome, and good luck!

Facing an interview successfully is about being prepared to assuage the concerns of the immigration officer regarding the relationship and the application submitted. You seem to be well on your way with the relationship proofs, but don't forget to prepare your wife to review information from the application, as well. The officer will want to know that the information submitted is free of any misrepresentations regarding the genesis and development of the relationship and any significant events in your lives.

Make sure she is competently able to discuss your past relationship history, as well as her own. She should be conversant with your children's lives as much as her own, their grades in school, their classes/subjects, their hobbies and activities. She may be a step-parent at a distance, especially to your daughter as she in the custody of her mother, but it should be clear that she is aware of and knowledgeable about the children, because she is now part of their family because you are their father and her husband. The link is you, and it should be obvious that, though it is a distant one, it is neither tenuous nor (worse) non-existent. The converse of all this is true as well, i.e. it must be clear you are an established part of your step-children's lives and she has integrated you into her child-rearing as much as possible despite the distance.

 

[Marty11]

You seem to be well on your way with the relationship proofs, but don't forget to prepare your wife to review information from the application, as well. The officer will want to know that the information submitted is free of any misrepresentations regarding the genesis and development of the relationship and any significant events in your lives.

Thanks Charlie, yes, we are doing that as well, so that we pretty well know as much as possible about each other from the long discussions we had and from the time we stayed together.

We implied our children as well in each others life given the circumstances. Both my children agree with my marriage and they know each other from chat video calls, they communicate whenever they are home; same with me with her son, we like each other, we were together mountain hiking (we have pictures), wondered around all three together, played games, when I was there and talk to him on the phone whenever he is with my wife. Her son is in her ex-husband custody. I did the medicals for both last year, so her son is eligible to come here, should the circumsatnces permit or arise in the future.


After all this usefull feedback from all you guys, I thank you very much and I feel more confident today than I was yesterday. We are or were doing the right things, is just a matter of balancing everything, and presenting a balanced, truthful view of our marriage, given the particular circumstances in our case.

Thanks again !

 

[mr70]

@Marty11. My mistake,just how it was worded it sounded like your spouse had paid the fees. I can relate a little to your circumstances, I also have limited vacation time and working full time to maintain my home and financials. I am sure a VO would understand this and not view it like avoiding financial and emotional entanglement. In my case I am doing what I have to do to maintain a life so if my spouse is granted PR I can fullfill my obligations as the sponsor.My spouse and I are fully expecting an interview,but no news yet.

@ CharlieD. You have amazing advise. Some of your chat messages you sent with your application would certainly show interdependence and real life. My spouse and I have had chats similar but did not sent with our application for fear that they may have negative effects. Most of our deep conversations are verbal via skype and have no actual text proof of the conversations. I went through our application only to discover somethings that I am freaking out at now. But from reading your advise I am going through three years of chat and selecting more proof to submit if we ever get an AOR. I sure hope you keep contributing to this forum,as I understand you have your visa. Congratulations.

 

[canadianwoman]

I would not include the prenup. A prenup can be taken as proof that you are trying to avoid financial interdependence.

 

[GOGOGO]

Just thinking if your wife has any email sent directly to your son and daughter (and vice versa you sent to her son), which can show you guys are trying to integrate with each other's family members.