Kingston,Jamaica

[lonelycanadianwifey]

Hey everyone

I am posting possibly out of pain MABEY out of greif or sadness NOT sure! And kind of embarrassed and scared to spread all this DRAMA over the internet BUT i cannot keep this inside me for any longer!! I need you guys NEW and OLD ...
I AM crying as i write this ...me and hubby are split Because of me...I left him KICKED him out and basically told him to F off...

I have let so many people (My mother) tell me how to live in my marriage how to raise my kids and so forth ...And i think I have done some damage...About just after Jamaica coming home ...I did all this and
filled a restraining order...Because he was living next me with a neighbour and he didn't have anywhere to go ...(my poor baby....I say this now) I filled the restraining order out of spite ANGER ,resentment control YADDA YADDA ....We went to court on wensday he walked in with one old AZZ woman 35-40 Some odd ( sorry about saying old but it pi$$ed me off) fat nasty thing ..PARDON ME ...Still pissed ...Says he payed her to help him file his papers and obtain a lawyer 200 hundred bucks..I still am having a hard time believeing what i SAW...and what he says

Well court didnt go as well as i thought it would (thank god) because he didnt hand in his motion 4 days prior to court...and the judge ajourned court exactly 1 week from that day so he had a chance to defend himself ...I have decided not to do this I WANT MY LIFE BACK...i made a huge mistake i threw the man i love out in the street and said hurtfull and pathetic things to him ...Our BLOWOUT fight just ineviatably cause this chain of reaction...I am soo regretfull for my actions...
After court i reterned to work...When i got home i seen the number of were he was staying on my caller ID ..I thought OMG he is trying to serve me court papers( because he has to do that )...And he is having his Gfreind( at the time i was convinced he was with her) do it ....I called the COPS ...told them about what i thought was happening and told them to contact him and tell him and his gfreind(who ithought at the time was) not to contact me at all. To mail me the papers ...

The POLICE told me they would call him later that evening upon returning from work (No biggy No drama ...SO I THOUGHT) So after i hubg up the phone i was cleaning the house and i found the motion he wrote in the court house....I didnt relaize that the duty council handed it to me in the court room...I started to read....

He goes on and say things like i keep fighting him and i am harrasing his family back a JA telling them bad things about him A family member of mine who he works with threataned him to cut his leggs off so he stated that!...Saying i dont want to be with him cause i say hes old .. i DID SAY That!! HE SAYS THIS ...

"I still love her but she doesnt love me anymore..

"my heart just F @ cking broke into and thousand tiny small peices ""...And reality hit me....

WHAT HAVE I DONE!! MY BABY .That feeling of sometimes we take for granted someone will always be there...

I Immeadiatly called him at work...He comes on the phone ...

I said i want to ask you a question ...He Pauses ..SILENCE...Then he goes yah!!

I said did you call me last night ...He said NO ...Then i started to cry and i said ...

"Do you still love me" He says yes i do, there has never been a woman i have loved more than you ..I told you i would never stop ...

i just started to cry and cry and cry ...and i asked him about the woman ...he told me he payed her 200 hundred dollars to file his papers and stuff cause he didnt know nothing or how or where..I was still angry about it and having a hard time beleiving it.. why this OOMAN..He kept reasuring me NO NO NO ...Still i wasnt convinced...
I then told him i callled the COPS and to ignore the phone call later that it was suppose to be a call just telling him what i said we both agreed to talk once i and him returned from work on the phone..He said to me i am lookiing forward to that ..

I went to work ...very happy and encouraged about that evening ..When i get home a different stopry unravelled...
Found out the police came right to the house ...And basically tore him a new one ...Told him they would throw his azzz in jail if they have to come talk to him 1 more time ...
He wouldnt even talk to me on the phone the guy who he is syaing with said he refused to give him the phone cause he was under strict orders NOT TO TALK OR COMMUNICATE WITH ME..I eventually got him to come out of the house and found out that woman was there ...I LOST IT.I ened up chasing down the road cause i was so angry and he thought i was going to attack him ..He kept saying that she was there to help with the court papers and that they were just returned form the polica station and he payed 75$ for something that i didnt catch what !0

I saw her in the window i called her out SCREAMING THAT IS MY effin husband and ray ray CALLED HER A GORILLA ....SHE LEFT THE WINDOW ...I was just irate and he kept saying he was scared of me and my family that he has never been so ashamed hurt embarrassed...

he kept saying he loved me and that he wanted to work it out BUT until this court thing is thrown out he want to keep a distance because he is afraid of going to JAIL!

Then to further talk to me any onger he told me i had to have the COPS reasure him that he could talk to me and that he wouldnt go to jail...SO I DID ...after that we talk for a few hours...about his and that ...and i kept saying that woman there ...YES she is waiting for a ride...finally he says she wasnt ..I asked him to come home so i could hold him a hig him up i was in soo much pain ...i needed some confort...He declined he said that he wanted to keep a distance anhd untill i throw this out cause he is afraid he was cooking a pot to nyam and he hadnt bthed yet and he had to leave for work at 6am.,..I was thinking that OOMAN was still there thats why he wouldn't come over... :'

i kept saying that ...he kept saying what you think i am a lier...do you want to come over here garrey is in the shower and i am cooking ..Look let me think about coming over let me sleep on it and mabeyILL come over after work ..what time you get off...MY PHONE DIED...
well I fell asleep...Woke up and got on the phone with the courts to try to end this ...Well i was told that i had to wait till wensday court day to throw it out ...I phone him at work ...He said that OKay bla bla but felt that he wanted to stay apart until wensday ..that his lawyer said that he still needed to put hisa motions in incase i wanted to screw him ...He said i am scared and when wensday happens we will go togther and end this and then we can move on ...

He called on his next break...and i pleaded with him to see me and he kept saying NO not till this stuff is dealt with ...Then all of a sudden he like i going to my freinds house tonight ( farm worker Jamaicans) that what i planned and i want go ..I kept saying chooseme please...i was like can i come there then ? He was like if you want..i was like well if you wont come home what about a hotel roomm. He went silent ..Said okay well ill talk to you tonight ..i was like can we go out for dinner and he was like yah ..i was OMGH thank you thank you ...

We let each other go ...I come home from work and i call him ...NO HES NOT There...I WAITED ALL NIGHT LONG HE NEVER CALLED ...

AND SO I SIT HERE WONDERING WHATS GOING ON...WHAT TO DO ....i THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING MYSELF TODAY ...IA M SO DEPRESSED AND DISTRAUGHT I HAVENT SLEPT IN DAYS ...AND I CANT EAT ..AND MY POOR UNBORN CHILD GOD SOMEONE HELP ME!

 

[chelley]

lcw...

you are a headstrong woman... whatever the outcome of this is, you WILL get thru it... cry, scream, throw pillows at anything that can't break and get out the emotions... issues are hard enough to work through, forget about when the hormones are raging and the heart is breaking... but to paraphrase a bit about what you posted a few days ago (okay i'm bastardizing it)... sometimes what looks like an ending might really be a new beginning...

hang in there....
xo

 

[lonely_wife]

lcw... my heart goes out to you right now in this time of hardship... I am hopeful that you find the strenght to overcome this phase of your life. You are a wonderful woman capable of doing so much you have come so far. Remember that no matter what happens I will not judge you and I will always respect you. Admitting that you are wrong and working towards a solution takes a lot of courage. I want to take a minute to thank you for sharing this with us as I know that it is not easy. Keep your head up, you deserve good things to happen to you!!!!

Hang in there and you can send me a message at anytime don't be shy!!!!!

Take care of yourself! xo :-*

 

[CharlieD10]

LCW - I know whatever happens, you'll find the strength and calmness needed to deal with this. Obviously emotions are at a strong point right now, maybe a little time and distance to back away from things will provide more perspective.

As chelley said, cry, scream, throw pillows, whatever. And then once all the emotion is out, let love and good judgement prevail.

Hang in there, hon. Life throws us curveballs, but as women, we can field anything. *hugs*

 

[proper]

lonelycanadianwifey: I'm very sorry to hear all that's going on with you right now but first of all i want to tell you that nothing and i mean NOTHING! is worth taking your life for. I'm man and I'll be the last one to sugar coat things cause what you did and said to your husband was beyond wrong, but the good thing is that youre woman enough to admit wrong and for that i give you props.

For you to come on here and share this says a lot...... i believe you are truly sorry for what you've done and said to this man and that's the first step. I think for now, you need to put your efforts into reassuring your Husband that you really do love him and that you know you've made a mistake. Forget about the woman that's helping him to file papers and focus on winning your husband back. I know you hate seeing that woman around but the more you act bitter about it, the more your husband will be hesitant about coming home or being around you even.

I'd like to think I'm a good reader of people and the fact that he wrote not one bad thing about you that you didnt admit to doing yourself and the fact that he didnt leave out the fact that he still loves you in his court papers says all is not lost. I guess what I'm trying to say is just for you take its slow and win your husband back, if you can convince the lot of us that only know you through posts that you're sorry and really want this man in your life then I'm pretty sure you'll get through to him.

 

[chelley]

Oi! All I can say is only those directly involved know the FULL story and I'm sure much has gone unwritten and that had the same story be written in a different mindset, the picture painted would probably be much different... From what I see, the emotions need to run their course before the issue(s) are dealt with....

My advice LCW... once you work through the emotions, make the decision that is best for you and the your family...

 

[waiting-for-a-star]

LCW, your story has really touched me, I havent posted anthing on here for a while but I am truly moved today by your post,
and I want to let you know that all of us has been through something similar at one point in our life, and the fact that we are here it mean the is a light at end of the tunnel.
Girl its hard to say you were wrong, because you never mentioned what this guy did to you that caz you to react in such a way.
we woman and if you are anything like me which it sounds like you are, we act first and then we think, which gets us in trouble all the time.
but look up, its not as bad as it seems, He loves you, If I should share with you I remember there was a time when I was a nghtmare to my hubby, everything he does, to me it was suspicious, it was just so hard for me to believe that its possible for a man not to cheat. to me its not possible and all I wanted him to do was admit to something the poor guy wasnt doing, (or so he say). I remember one day he told "why dont you go jump infront of a truck"
that thing was the worst thing ever, nothing that I had done wrong to him, could pay for what he said to me, and I thought that was the end of my marriage, my life everything, that time it was a good thing I had my babies or I would have jump for real.
long story short, I took sometime to realized that I push this man to this state and all he is guilty of was loving me, I realize that even if he had another woman it never affected our marriage because he kept that life totally away from me, and I had no evidence, just my stupidity.
So I decided to call him and just apologise for what I have done,
My hubby broke down and told that he has been praying for me to see how much he loved me, and would never hurt me, he encourage me to remember that he is not God, and therefore hes likely to make mistake all his life, but never allow my mind to mess up our marriage because he love me.
Now all my hubby say “I would take a bullet for you any day.
LCW I cant tell you that everything will be ok, because all men are different, but don't nag him or force yourself on him, just tell him you are sorry, and you hope that he will forgive you, and that no matter what you will always love him because apart of him is inside of you. That will break him down, but at the same time you have to understand that he needs to take the necessary precautions until the court procedures is over. Respect that, eat ice cream and chocolate and walla, but give him time, he loves you and he will forgive you.
I will keep you in our prayers. And I want to leave a very good thought that I learned from someone a week ago (wink wink)
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending”

 

[jahlove]

Good day guys

LCW i am so sorry to read about your story, and i really feel your pain. I know you are a strong person by just reading your posts and i know you will get through this too. At this point it might feel impossible but you know that with faith you can move mountains. From what i have read you and your hubby both love and care for each other and that will cause this issue to work out in due time.

But honey nothing at all is worth you taking your life, think about your unborn child and the rest of family that you have to live for, not to mention yourself, cry all you want and do whatever you need to do to get those emotions out and then let time do the rest.

You have admitted that you have done wrong, apologize and let god do the rest sweetie, You are in my prayers, and pray as much as you can for the strength needed to take you through this time. Let Jesus take the wheel.

Lots of hugs and try and stay positive

 

[SmoothiesQueen]

LCW....girl my advice to you is to sit back and think this through. Its the same advice for parents diciplining a child....NEVER ACT OUT OF ANGER!!!!!!

If you follow your emotions on this one and react out of hurt and anger, your decisions will not be rational and they will reflect your current state of mind....which will not be a healthy on in regards to making decisions.

Your man does love you, or he wouldn't be willing to give this a second chance ever....on that note I think him having another women involved is grossly wrong. Before either of you make any decisions...especially ones involving other people.....you have to have your own stuff sorted out.

But I don't think based on your story, your actions were the best either. I think you are two people at this point who made bad decisions, rash decisions and emotionally motivated decisions that put you in a bad spot where you've both done each other wrong.

Sort out the court and police stuff...get it out of the way. I'd be scared of you to if that was hanging over my head. Tell him your sorting it out and this other women needs to back it up and get the hell out of his life....this is your husband and women who deal with a married man disgust me.

Then take some space while you get the court/police stuff out of the way...this gives you both breathing room. Then...tell him you want to fix this and sort it out and ask him if he can get rid of the other women while you deal with the other stuff and after that break from each other...you sit down and talk and get back on track. Maybe get councilling because you both sound like very fiesty people...and you need to learn how to deal with things better if you want your marriage to work. All this drama, court, police, other women....this is not healthy stuff.

Any person can feel tempted to do nasty stuff when their angry...but you have to learn to have self control and take space and calm down before taking action otherwise u make stupid decisions out of anger. This is something my husband and I made a point to do from the beginning of our marriage.

When we are arguing or disagreeing on something....we both take space. I go to our room or for a drive or a walk..he goes somewhere...we both cool off and then we come back when we calm and talk about it and find a solution.


Because Jamaicans have a ton of personality and emotion...and so do us ladies lol...so combine the two...if you act out on anger...its gonna have some pretty explosive consuqences. Sooooo girl...WIN YOUR MAN BACK.....but its gonna take work from both a you. He needs to get rid of the women...you need to clear up the legal crap cuz he has every right to be afraid of you while you pulling that kinda stuff...and you both need to take space and then come together and sort it out cuz it's obvious you both love each other.

hugs girl.....I hope you can work it out!!

 

[SmoothiesQueen]

Oh and girl....don't even go there with taking your life. You have a baby to worry about and the sun will shine again sweetheart.....life is full of ups and downs and it sucks but you can make this better....its not as hopeless as it seems. You have support on here and you need to turn to some good friends who can sit and hug and support you!!! Stay strong and focus on calming down and taking care of both u and your baby!! Maybe when you and your husband talk next...U can sort something out and you guys can also make some wise decisions that support the wellbeing of your baby and your stress level!!!

 

[lonelycanadianwifey]

hi

Thanks everyone....I am so hurt and angry ...More hurt than anything ...I am in BED from morning till noon till night ...And still he hasnt contacted me ...That hurts BAD!!
I cant sleep i cant eat ...NO matter how ahrd i try ..

I am not knowing where he is what he is doing or mostly who he is with ..And its killing me ...and wonder why at this point after all i said to him and he said to me why he is doing this why he is avoiding me...

Chelly jahlove, smoothing, lonleywife,waiting for a star,Proper, chalie, thank you soo much your words all of your words had some special meaning to me ...

this HURT and pain doesnt magically go away ...And that is scary i rather give birth 10 time in a row than feel this torture...any longer ...

You know that day i married that man was the most happiest day of my life ...he is my life my world and the thought of never having him home with me again after all we both have been through to get here pains me deeply ...I am full of tears i cannot see to tyoe ...Ill be back on again in alittel while going to lay back in ma bed ...And pray with all my soul that love will find its way again for me !

 

[waiting-for-a-star]

Hi Charley do you have andy of the letters of support from my family that you submit with your app, can you please send me a copy so i can use as a guideling I need to get some for hubby to bring with his interview.

Yes, your originals will be returned.

 

[chukie]

Hi forum

I've been quiet for a while waiting for hubby to pick up pp no news yet but when read LCW's post had to post

LCW First i must say sorry to hear the situation as it stands right now but it will pass. I know you are pregnant & emotional at times hormones raging so will not always have a clear mindset on the other hand I know hubby loves you (as expressed in his note) but he never made a good decision by bringing that "lady" along. In moments like these she doesnt need to be in the picture its between you both. My opinion is for her to disappear & you to take time out as a break is as good as a rest sometimes and I think "if you love something give it away if it comes back its yours".

In a marriage we all know it's not going to be rosey we are not living in a fairy tale this is the real world! so we have to take the rough with the smooth. As SMOOTHIEQ said when fire with fire it takes water to cool it down so take a walk/air your mind a bit. As for taking your life I know you must feel that way but "once there's life theres hope" and you soon have a beautiful baby in your arms . I'm sure this shall pass just like everything else.

CHELLEY thanks for the pm about uk calls can you fwd yur providers number pls?

CHARLIED Hope have nice time with hubby!!

HOPE MORE GOOD NEWS FROM KGN NXT WK!!!

 

[jahlove]

Good moring forum fam, LCW hope you are feeling a bit calmer today.

Anyways i am here at work just checking in. Enjoy your weekend.

Hoping for some good news next week from kgn.

Bye

 

[nae-nae]

good morning everyone!

lcw - aww girl, my heart breaks for you. Right now emotions are running high and seem to be taking over. You have 2 beautiful daughters and a baby on the way. Please do think of them, and the rest of your family and friends who love you loads!!! Don't even think about taking your own life, they would miss you dearly! it's not worth it. Things seem bad now, and I can see the emotional pain is overwhelming. It takes a lot of courage to admit wrong doings and to fix the mistakes you've made. I believe people have more respect for those who do that than those who pretend it didn't happen. I'm glad you are taking steps to fix things now before it's too late. Please take one day at a time, you are a strong woman, you will get through this!!!

Big hugz girl, there are more people out there that love you than you know