Hello Miss Chick-a-Dee, I can see you are being your usual sunny self
.....I'm keeping an eye on you, O&O, Daddy's Girl and CoG to get those VISAS ASAP!!!!!
It has been so funny to see my hubby dealing with the cold weather, honestly it cracks me up!! He views the weather as his new challenge and it is NOT going to get the better of HIM!! On top of that he loves to direct me on how to shovel and clean the cars "properly". I give him a lot of credit though, he is out there in the dark and bitter cold of morning in his snow gear scraping and blowing etc. Not sure if it was Nev or another JA member talking about how it takes about 20 minutes to get all the layers right but that is my hubby to a T.
Then just yesterday he said to me while we were out driving.....(all casual like he has it all figured out now)...."so it seems to snow about every 2 days then?" Lol......then he finally said after about our 3rd trip to downtown Toronto (so far they have all been in snowstorms coincidentally)....."well I might need a GPS, this is a BIG country!!! I can't know all of this in 3 months, it may take about 2 years" and if you knew my hubby (he is a major bossy alpha dog who thinks he does know everything
) you would know this was a huge turning point for him to acknowledge that he may need to adjust his expectations.
On another note - Miss Ninirae.....if you are reading this (and for all of the other ladies who responded to Nini's post about arguing with the hubs about whose country is better, I laughed my head off at that one, hubby and I used to have those convos as well
) things will naturally fall into place when they get here. You will see a side of your husband that he will reveal over time and you will both be less stressed as the immigration process will be over.
Will there be other stresses? Of course, that is life but while enduring the immigration separation, try to be mindful as much as humanly possible to get off the phone or the Skype call when things are getting tense. Learn a "loving hang up" technique that you can both live with and are in agreement on, when one or both of you start picking at the other due to the stress of being apart. Try to commit to it even if you can feel your flesh rising up....as words are powerful and they can be damaging. Remember "a gentle tongue can break a bone".
One of the other JA thread members commented on her husband finally opening up a bit more in the communication dept. and I have witnessed the same thing with my husband in the short time we have been together here. He has finally had some time to decompress and reflect and just be able to think without some of the pressures that were always on his head back home. This is a major life upheaval for both parties and many men (and can I say especially West Indian/Caribbean men?
) will struggle with being in a position that is actually quite vulnerable. Hubby and I are both fairly mature and I must confess we both behaved pretty badly on a few occasions during the process and even more so in the weeks leading up to him actually leaving. So take a deep breath and remember why you love and chose each other and give each other grace and forgiveness and try to do better the next time. Speaking from my own experience only. Blessings.
