Mrs. Maddants, I don't know you very well but I can feel your frustration. I too am aboriginal and feel that I can relate to part of how you are feeling. Although I work and live in my community I do not speak my language or actively participate in cultural activities. My father too went to residential school and when he came back, he was much different and would not participate in cultural activities and when I was growing up he would not allow me to either. I am at an age where I can respect the trauma that he has gone through and understand the reasoning for his choices. I have not shared with my husband any cultural teachings or practices because it is not part of my life. Instead, he understands canadian culture and the values and beliefs general canadians have on the world. If the interviewer is to punish someone for the lack of his understanding of FN Culture, why wouldn't it be me? How are our husbands expected to learn and understand these things if we don't share? Why do they assume we all live traditionally?
With all that you have gone through you are certainly an inspiration to some of us newer members. I feel that unlike a normal relationship, everyday we must make a conscious decision to be committed and engaged with our spouses. We are limited to phone calls and skype chats with the memories we currently have with them, and are not given the opportunity to experience new things together unless we travel there to see them, which a lot of us can't do regularly due to commitments and finances. The most important thing for me is that every morning when I wake up, no matter how discouraged I am about this process, I still choose my husband and am grateful to have him in my life. I think if our officers could read some of our messages on here they would have a better understanding of how much we care for our spouses, the affect this process has on us, and the legitimacy of our relationships.
