suki said:
In Calgary we do
not have a Large Jamaican community, we have a few Jamaican stores, but he really doesnt want to meet any, not that I myself can introduce him to any because I do not know any Jamaicans in my city besides my daughter and her friends. I thhink he's so jaded and afraid of the deportation stories he has heard he doesnt want to get involved. (He's big into the news) some nights the highlight of our evenings are CNN. But that's ok with me
Suki, I'm quite surprised by your comment that Calgary does not have a large Jamaican community. I lived in Calgary most of my life and there is a significant number of J'can's in both Calgary and Edmonton. By no means is it anything like Toronto or Florida, but between Carifest, Dominoe tournaments in May, Reggaefest, the Jamaican Canadian Association and a whole plethora of other events and people, I'm sure your husband could find at least one good J'can (side eye). I'm also disheartened by your comment that "he doesn't want to get involved" in light of the deportation stories. There are a large number of J'can men and women in Calgary who have managed to live their lives police and crime free. These individuals have built a strong knit community who welcome newcomers and encourage the success of their friends and families.
I said it before and I'll say it again, you cannot segregate your spouses from their people, whether it be intentionally or unintentionally. We are a people who are deep seeded in our culture, our people and our history. I cannot imagine your husband is content not being around fellow J'can's. It is apparent that someone has facilitated the misconception and deep seeded stereotype of J'can's as it pertains to immigration.
SmoothiesQueen, you made some excellent point in your post yesterday. I found the following points interesting and would recommend that the room takes heed if not from a J'can at least from someone who has lived the as a Canadian and as a transplanted J'can.
1. The woman expected the man to just fit into her life..and never realized fully that he would need to make his own life here..with her yes...but his OWN life, not just adopt hers.
2. She figured he would just love all she loved...and had these images of him doing all the things important in her life and that just being his life etc!
3. he had things in Jamaica...and he's here now..and she has her life and doesn't recognize the urgency for him to get things sorted out for himself...and now that he's a PR he's wanting to take advantage of the oppurtunities..and she is kinda trying to control it because in her mind she's just teaching him about Canada and being caustious and trying to help him make the right decisions about careers and a vehicle and pretty much everything..but in his mind..shes trying to control every step he's taking as if he's a child, without letting him be a man and make his own choices, or at least work things out as a couple!