Kingston,Jamaica

[Psalm 75]

Goodnight everyone,

I haven't been on the site for awhile. Sadly, I don't have good news. I am requesting your prayers. I have just returned from Jamaica after having not seen my husband since June, 2011. My trip was bittersweet. I notice changes in my husband. 80% of the time while I was there, he left me alone with his family so he could spend time with his friends. He didn't even seem eagerly excited that I came to visit him, even though we spoke about this for months. His family even scolded him about his "cold reception" of me. During my trip, he spoke more about wanting to come to Canada then spending time with me. Which lead me to become suspicious. We constantly argued. He has been belittling me and verbally become abusive. I know deep in my heart my husband has changed. I returned to Toronto on Tuesday Nov 22/11, since I returned (three days ago) he's been pressuring me to call immigration, so they can speed up his application. I told him to have patience, the right time will be the right time. My worst fear seems to be happening. So, it feels like. I feel like my husband married me to get to Canada. Everything was great in the beginning, but now I've noticed subtle changes that have now become grandeur. Please pray for me, pray for my husband, pray for our marriage. I do not want to stop the "papers", because I love him. I am not spiteful. I know Canada would be a great place of educational and economical opportunity for him. Honestly, my husband is not the same. Please don't judge me, maybe it's me thinking too deeply, but it's concerning. We're both Christians, serving the same God, Jesus Christ. However, if one of us fears God and the other does not, something is wrong! I cannot tell my family what I am going through, because they did not want me to get married to someone from Jamaica, because of the experience of some Jamaican men/women leaving their spouses once they get "landed status". I know Prayer Changes! "...yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken , nor his seed begging bread". Psalm 37:25




God Bless
Psalm 75

 

[witty]

Its hard as a man PLASM cause worse in jamaica i have being in canada and back in jamaica my wife filed for me and it got decline inland and now we doing it ouland but i feel your pain cause somtimes i feel abit of distance but i try to stay strong.so its hard at times

 

[Mrslwsn]

To psalm75....darling, I hear you on the prayers, and I am glad yu have faith, but even if you had a conventional marriage that was not long distance without immigration why should you have to put up with mental or verbal abuse. There is no excuse. If you think he has married you for papers, then he probably has as gut instinct is usually right. I know those words may sound harsh right now, but it is not meant to offend. God will love you same way, and you will still be a good christian. I have heard time and time again of situations like this and it is so unfortunate, but cut your ties and move on with your life. Why prolong unhappiness? Why allow someone to use you? I feel like its better if the guy just say "hey, i need papers can you help me" than string you along with a bag of lies. I can just feel from your writing how sad and heartbroken he must have made you feel and as a woman that makes me so angry. I am going to pray for you to have courage and find happiness and peace. God Bless.

@ witty, boss, give me a break, life for a man in Jamaica is what yu make it, yes it is hard but there is never a time when a man should disrespect him wife so. If I ever go look fi mi husband and him gimmie dem deh vibes , trust me, ah di lass time him would ever see mi face, and I love my husband gone to bed. Mi nah tun no man clown. If ah papers man a look nuttin nuh wrong inna dat, just be honest.

 

[witty]

Im not saing a man should disert his wife but its hard when u away from a person u cant see them when u want to that tends to put a bit of distance.so its going to take time ,u not going to just fall in the person arms all the time and the person is the same.

 

[witty]

but i do understand where you coming from though.

 

[Mrslwsn]

Well, I can speak for myself, my husband never change. As soon as I step outta di gate at Sangster, it is like we never left. It just go right back to being the way it is when we are together. If my husband is stressed then yes he going to be stressed, but he doesnt turn round n disrespect mi in any way or "change". No sah, I dont play those childish games. My babyfather was an illiterate fool like that, miserable and cold. and he has been in Canada the so call land of free since 1996 so he had no excuse and trust me BIG waste of time. No person should put up with that garbage, Life short, I think ppl should use what time we have left on earth being happy.

 

[witty]

but situation gets to the best of us sometimes i am happy when ever i see my woman alll the time around her but when she is gone its like im loosing it when i see her she feels i change abit too but after spend abit of time around her again we good like old times but its just hard to be apart sometimes thats just my reality.but u still have to appreciate at lest the person is a phone call away thats what keeps me going.

 

[Mrslwsn]

ok i hear yu.

 

[CharlieD10]

Morning and TGIF everyone! Trying to get in here early before I start the day. Welp, KG has been quiet for this week, maybe they will give me something to do when they see that it is Friday! I live in Hope (don't want to die in Papine though! ).

Psalm75, I am sorry to hear you are experiencing difficulties, and certainly hope things get better for you. It's a fact that not everyone is prepared for the realities of a long-distance relationship. It takes two people, working hard at it, to keep a relationship working, whether a couple is under the same roof or not. Sometimes it's easier to ignore an issue and hope that it will be solved in time when you are together with your spouse, but the truth is that immigration is just one of the challenges in life that some couples face, and like any challenge in life, how you deal with it can determine how you come out of it. Lean on your faith, but don't forget that you have a heart to feel and a mind to understand and you should use them too.

Since politricks is in the air in Jamaica, and so is Christmas, I thought this joke combining both of them was appropriate for today:

"A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey... "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise!"

Have a great day everyone. Come on, KG. NNNNEEEXXXXTTTT already!

 

[canuck0469]

Good one, Charlie, thanks for keeping the humour going. Good afternoon forum family.
Palsm, our prayers are indeed with you and your well being. I believe your gut is trying to advise you and is looking after your best interest. It is typical to have reservations about your spouse when you are apart, the where are you, I hear music in the background, or why didn't you answer the phone the first time. But this seems much more than that. When I used to go down to visit she wouldn't leave my side and want to take me everywhere to join and meet all her friends and I'm quite sure that is the norm with almost everyone that has along distance relationship. From your note we can tell you are being honest with yourself which is extremely positive, keep that up. You will have to be honest to do the right thing. You realize that if you continue with the app and he does leave you once he arrives you will be responsible for him for 3 years without any recourse. Adding $20-30,000 to support him would certainly add insult to injury. Take some time and clear your head. Step back and really see what is going on with your marriage, then you will do what is best for you. Take great care of yourself mi girl

 

[Mrs Proper]

Good afternoon everyone!!!

Well I woke up this morning and hubby had a birthday gift for me for once it doesn't feel like jus another day lol

Witty- yer med doesn't expire till feb and you have already handed in your pp so I'd wait but in the meantime send a cse.

Psalm 75- my heart broke after reading what you are going thro. After going mhts without being in eachothers arms you would think he wouldn't wanna leave you for a minute. I know when I went to see mr proper we never went anywhere without eachother. Immigration does take a toll but its up to not only you to keep things good between you both but he has to meet you half way on that too. Noone deserves to be verbally abused and that goes for you too!!!! I completely agree with what charlie said. At the end of the day we can only give you opinions and its up to you to decide your destiny. I hope everything works out for you as you seem like a wonderful person!!! All the best to you and its so nice to have ppl on this forum to help you thro this time and give such great advice.

Well no updates today which I was really hoping to see. Have a good weekend everyone!!!

 

[witty]

Thats so nice of him proper.I love to do stuffs like that.

 

[suki]

Mrs Proper, Happy Birthday Lovely Lady! :-* :-* :-*

Wishing you many, many more wonderful Birthdays to come with all the happiness,Love, Best of heath and all the GREAT stuff yet to come! what did he get ya?

Psalm, I will pray for you, for strength...I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, After all you have done there is no way for your husband to disrespect you and hurt you like that. You do seem like a wonderful person, sweet and loving. This process really sucks, time away from loved ones is a huge challange!

We are here for you! big hugs your way!

 

[CharlieD10]

Happy birthday, Mrs Proper! Many, many blessed and happy returns with Mr P and your kids and relations!

Weekend is here! Yes, I know, sometimes we don't like to see it because KG has been quiet all week, but nevermind, folks, get out there and enjoy it and don't let KG's silence dampen your spirits. There's always Monday morning coming!

 

[Mrs Proper]

Thanks charlie and suki!!!

Suki- he got me this really nice watch with some diamonds on it and tonight we are going for dinner and a movie with my sister and her boyfriend. Just a nice quiet evening, not really into going out and partying, would rather something a lil more relaxed.

Have a great weekend everyone, mines gonna be pretty busy with soccer, moving my mom and xmas shopping!!!!!!!