First before anything else I wanted to touch on what nae said since I've now processed the thoughts as much as my brain can and will these days. Ill relate with a story... I have a friend who suffers from depression... She gets down and looks for others to either validate her or join her... It's a cycle I personally will not join in... With me it's either tough love, or avoidance... This upsets her and has caused us many disagreements... Ive told her support comes in all shapes and sizes, and just because someone says "suck it up buttercup, get out there and enjoy your life and be thankful you have it and all you're blessing" doesn't necessarily mean they are judgmental or unsupportive, it means they don't care to see you miserable... Someone who didn't care simply would shut their mouths and leave you be... Ive told my friend that sometimes people get tired of watching people they care about bang their heads on brick walls, and rather than hand them a pillow and allow them to continue, theyd much rather tell them to just get the hell away from the damn wall!
Now to this forum, the vibe has changed recently... As it will when the dynamic changes and new personalities mix and sometimes collide... I will admit that recent days have seen this place turn into something that I've personally had tune out as to not let it suck the energy from me...(not being overly capable of the validation or joining in type of support)... Days when ive had it in me, and with the inspiration of a few others, I've come in with constructive thoughts and we've picked the place up.. I've learned the hard way that tough love, as well meaning as it is, often backfires, so when I feel like I could have written naes post word for word, I've just stepped away for a day or two... And so it goes... Things have changed, things will change, it's inevitable... I always hope there will be the positive, uplifting, constructive and empowering messages delivered to those who need them!!! Venting is important, but don't let the vents consume you..
I'll be back later with some less serious stuff, but I'd just like to give props to an older member, maple syrup... Her process took nearly 2 years, and yes she'd curse and rant and complain with the best of them when the mood hit, but usually she posted about her fun weekend, her work, current events or whatever... With so much to begrudge (not to air her business but she shared with the group that her own mother was badminding her application with CIC), she just lived her life and never let the whole thing get to her, she would say "all things in their time" and "God will only hand me as much as I can manage, nothing more nothing less"... In my general life, when things aren't happening right, and/or fast enough for me, and I start to get ancy, I sometimes think of her... She's become a bit of an inspiration to me (cheesy), but that is the patience and composure when faced with obstacles that I hope I can emulate in my life... Maybe her story can bring some strength to some of you going thru this too?
All right, I'll be back later..... Sorry if this upsets anyone... Nae is someone I consider a personal friend (we used to live on the same street and fate dropped her back into my life on this board)... She is a good person with a heart of gold and I think her intentions were not completely understood...I hope she doesn't leave for good and continues to come back and update us and cheer on and support those going through this crazy ordeal!