Is marriage the only way? Is this just crazy??

[pinklady]

Why don't you try and get job in Florida when you finish your studies? Can't Canadian citizens apply for jobs in America and then just show up at the border with the job offer letter to get a work permit? I know Canadians who have done this (or whatever the process is..)
That way you could spend some time together.... plus the weather is much better in Florida

 

[kandc]

Thanks to both of you. Him moving up to Vermont or NY is absolutely something to think about... it would still be several hours to drive but anything is better than the 30 hours it would currently take! And yes, he definitely does want to immigrate.

 

[AmericaninQuebec]

Why don't you try and get job in Florida when you finish your studies? Can't Canadian citizens apply for jobs in America and then just show up at the border with the job offer letter to get a work permit? I know Canadians who have done this (or whatever the process is..)
That way you could spend some time together.... plus the weather is much better in Florida

An idea, but that only works for qualified NAFTA professionals. http://canada.usembassy.gov/visas/doing-business-in-america/tn-visas-professionals-under-nafta.html

 

[kandc]

Why don't you try and get job in Florida when you finish your studies? Can't Canadian citizens apply for jobs in America and then just show up at the border with the job offer letter to get a work permit? I know Canadians who have done this (or whatever the process is..)
That way you could spend some time together.... plus the weather is much better in Florida

I still have four years of schooling left to get the degree I'm working towards. I'd really like to be with him a lot sooner than that. I've thought about transferring schools to the University of Miami but the school I'm at is one of the best for my program and I don't want to mess up my education...

 

[AmericaninQuebec]

I still have four years of schooling left to get the degree I'm working towards. I'd really like to be with him a lot sooner than that. I've thought about transferring schools to the University of Miami but the school I'm at is one of the best for my program and I don't want to mess up my education...

My grandfather always used to say that you can lose everything in life, but no one can ever take away your education. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

 

[kandc]

My grandfather always used to say that you can lose everything in life, but no one can ever take away your education. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

Your grandfather has a good point! And thank you : )

 

[dair2dv8103100]

How long did you spend with your spouse in person before getting married?

5 weeks ;D

 

[kandc]

5 weeks ;D

Thanks : )

 

[Serendipity]

Dear Kandc,


I can certainly relate to you in more ways than one. Concepts such as rushing into a marriage because of immigration issues is something with which I am quite familiar - I did it years ago while in NC -, and would certainly never recommend it to anyone. However, it seems to me that what you have at this point is not really an immigration issue, but a relationship issue. Please let me explain why.

It appears that you yourself have your own priorities quite clear, and that obtaining your university degree is certainly one of them - good for you! As you noted, this very fact clearly prevents you from moving pretty much anywhere, regardless of whether such place is located outside of Canada or not. Even if it were Melville in Saskatchewan, it would just not work, correct?

Based on the fact that you are not willing to quit school or transfer to UM to be with him, what are your options, then? Well, either he moves closer to you, or you both find a way to finance your trips to visit each other more often until you can move to FL. Two very clear alternatives! Once you make a decision that suits you both, and only then, you can start working on the specifics of the immigration process which, as taxing and difficult as it may appear to be at first, is just a matter of logistics. What is truly important is the reason WHY you want to do it!! Once that is clear beyond doubt, the HOW can be addressed in the most appropriate and efficient manner.

Somehow I believe that you already have the right answer in your heart. Listen to it!!

S.

 

[sidkrose]

I don't suppose it's possible for you to take a term or two off of school? I did that so I could live with my boyfriend for a year in Germany, (he had already lived with me for about 10 months in Canada) and then we applied common law. We are both young, and would like to get married, but we both want to be a position were we can have the wedding and honeymoon we want and that's just not possible as we're both students. But we still made sacrifices. I took a year off to go live with him, (which didn't affect my degree, except that it'll take longer) and that was such a good decision. I could meet his family and friends and see what he was like in his home city, and we travelled together more and things like that. I definitely know now that he is the one for me, even though I am only 21. But we have spent enough time together and had enough experiences together that I know we are perfectly compatible. I would really recommend being THAT sure, before you decide to marry him. I don't agree with the others about having to play the field when you're young, but I do think that you should know him as well as possible, and I think that is pretty tough to do in a long distance situation. But really, the only people who really understand a relationship are the two in it, so as much advice as we are giving you, don't discount what you know about yourself and your relationship. Good luck.

 

[Zouk Princesse]

Kandc I agree with Serendipity in that it really seems you two have some serious thinking to do about where your relationship stands against your current priorities in life. I think that immigration is an easy target to blame as a hindrance, but it sounds like the issues with your family and each of your personal needs right now are the heart of the matter. My husband and I were apart for two years before we got married, and never spent more than 10 days together at a time, every 2-4 months, yet there was never a doubt in our minds that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. All that to say, if and when you two are ready for marriage, you'll know, and I guarantee you'll find a way to make it work. In the meantime, focus on pursuing your goals and enjoy the fact that you have a great vacay partner in FL.

 

[ddobro2]

So are you 100% on getting married, kandc? I saw you posting that you were "planning" to in another thread, so......

 

[kandc]

100% on wanting to... I know I want to marry him and he knows he wants to marry me. So we are planning for it. The only thing I'm at all apprehensive about is how my dad will react. He thinks the whole thing is just crazy. I love both my boyfriend and my father with all my heart so it's really stressful for me to think I might be jeopardizing my relationship with my dad, and at the same time I can't even imagine not being with my boyfriend. It's a tough situation for me, made tougher by the fact that we have no money, which is why I was checking for possible alternative routes to take.

 

[Roham]

How long did you spend with your spouse in person before getting married?

3 weeks sharp

 

[ddobro2]

Okay, as long as you would answer the same way if he were already in Canada.......

About your dad, I would be willing to bet that once he sees that you are planning to settle down with this guy, he will eventually have to make peace with it. Most parents, if they love their children that is, will not sacrifice their relationship with their children because they don't like who they choose to marry. Once they realize that the choice is having their children out of their lives or accepting the relationship, they will choose the latter.

Having said that, I would just have one last conversation with your dad to try to see if he could at least give your boyfriend a chance. And maybe if there's something that the two of them could compromise on - that is, if there's something your dad really would like your boyfriend to change about himself, and vice versa, if that would alleviate the differences they have a bit......

100% on wanting to... I know I want to marry him and he knows he wants to marry me. So we are planning for it. The only thing I'm at all apprehensive about is how my dad will react. He thinks the whole thing is just crazy. I love both my boyfriend and my father with all my heart so it's really stressful for me to think I might be jeopardizing my relationship with my dad, and at the same time I can't even imagine not being with my boyfriend. It's a tough situation for me, made tougher by the fact that we have no money, which is why I was checking for possible alternative routes to take.