Your comment has been the most helpful I have ever come across.
I have not shared my details just for being mocked at but to learn from the experiences of others.
If you have nothing to share, please do not comment at all!
In case of dual intent, how to satisfy the visa officer for study permit
- Thread starter GarimaB
- Start date
I have not shared my details just for being mocked at but to learn from the experiences of others.
If you have nothing to share, please do not comment at all!
Please enlighten me how that can be done!Also wanted to add: as a woman in the tech space, there are so many ways for you to spin this in your favour.
@GarimaB : SOP should be strictly 2 pages. I am sure you will include suggestions from others here.
See if you can add a cover letter explaining any anomalies you might think could creep up in VOs mind. Definitely address the baby care, I am not sure if its an issue but see if this can addressed. Good luck! I will be watching this thread for a good news.
See if you can add a cover letter explaining any anomalies you might think could creep up in VOs mind. Definitely address the baby care, I am not sure if its an issue but see if this can addressed. Good luck! I will be watching this thread for a good news.
[/QUOTE]
Hi Garima,
I have read your complete SOP and finds that the Visa Officer just refuse your study permit application angrily with lame rejection points to tell you that you just made him angry. You have clearly written that you want to do job in Canada.
I would like to provide some comments and suggestions for you. Just ignore my grammatical mistakes.
Remove paragraph headings.
You have a very strong profile with good academics, Ielts & commitment towards your career with continuous progression but your SOP is not appropriate and impacted the visa officer very negatively. Just order the gcm notes meanwhile please note some of things of SOP.
As seeing your career your course could be of project management but still your chosen course seems to be alright. Your SOP is not attractive and it is scattered writing.
SOP is of 2100 words, it should be limited to 1000 to 1200 words only. Please remove some extra information. The more you write the more Visa officer will be suspicious about your intensions to study because from your past academics you already look bonafide student.
In introduction paragraph, last line is not appropriate, you don’t need to write that its your dream to pursue further education because now it is your requirement to get further education for your future career.
Family detail paragraph not required in the start it should be second last. Also it seems financial support paragraph instead. It should mention that you have paid the fee and for your next year fee, your husband will pay the remaining fee(show in your husband bank account), apart from that you do not need to mention anything because you have a strong profile.
In academic paragraph just write in achieving way & be specific. Write you have excellent track record of 91.6 in SSC in 2007, 81.6 in HSC in 2009 & 77.8 in B.Tech, Shed some light on B.Tech courses & how they help to establish your base for your career then move on to career paragraph.
In work paragraph you have not written about skills you gained during your job instead you write about management skills which have no role in 6 years of your job but only limited to your last 1 year job. Write the technical skills you gained in 7 years & also write that you got progression of career by time from developer to senior developer & then to lead project in your team.
Inception of thoughts paragraph have no need instead write the reason to pursue the course like you can write about further progression of career through your proposed studies, also, advance level studies are required with regards to information security and what skills you think you can gain from the studies.
Again in crystallization of thoughts, a very general paragraph you have written with motivations from youtube, skip this paragraph.
In why Canada, where you mentioned about Alumni network and opportunities, you are giving impression that you are interested to do job anywhere in world and also in Canada, means you want to settle which means your intensions are not to study, just skip this. In the last those lines are very perfect where you mention about Canadian company ranking. Just praise their educational system and advancement in IT and write that you will get further progression and boost in your career in your own home country after getting education from canada,
In Concordia university paragraph, skip all the extra things only write about the university good ranking and the courses, you have only mention 2 courses, at least mention 5 courses which can enhance your skills and knowledge. Also mention what type of skills.
Skip about the course paragraph, write in previous paragraph.
In career outcome paragraph, you have written leadership skills which is very negative because it is not a business management program, Write the technical skills and then 5,6 career outcomes and also mention that you will get career progression in your current job as well.
In relevance of course you do not need to relate with your educational background but with your working experience. Just skip the whole paragraph and relate the proposed studies with your job in work experience paragraph.
In future scope paragraph you have again written about job prospects of Canada from which Visa Officer is sure that you want to settle in Canada, just skip this paragraph and mention about job prospects in Career outcome paragraph, & after that add the financial paragraph which was your 2nd paragraph on which I have already given the comments. In the last just request the VO to approve your study permit so that you can gain knowledge, built skills and have your progression of career. Also, write that this course could help to innovate something new in your home country and benefit your country even if this impact is small.
Please note that I have given the feedback with good intentions to help you. If you do not find the points appropriate then you do not need to follow everything which I have mentioned. If you need any help in the future just do let me know.
Good Luck!
Hi Garima,
I have read your complete SOP and finds that the Visa Officer just refuse your study permit application angrily with lame rejection points to tell you that you just made him angry. You have clearly written that you want to do job in Canada.
I would like to provide some comments and suggestions for you. Just ignore my grammatical mistakes.
Remove paragraph headings.
You have a very strong profile with good academics, Ielts & commitment towards your career with continuous progression but your SOP is not appropriate and impacted the visa officer very negatively. Just order the gcm notes meanwhile please note some of things of SOP.
As seeing your career your course could be of project management but still your chosen course seems to be alright. Your SOP is not attractive and it is scattered writing.
SOP is of 2100 words, it should be limited to 1000 to 1200 words only. Please remove some extra information. The more you write the more Visa officer will be suspicious about your intensions to study because from your past academics you already look bonafide student.
In introduction paragraph, last line is not appropriate, you don’t need to write that its your dream to pursue further education because now it is your requirement to get further education for your future career.
Family detail paragraph not required in the start it should be second last. Also it seems financial support paragraph instead. It should mention that you have paid the fee and for your next year fee, your husband will pay the remaining fee(show in your husband bank account), apart from that you do not need to mention anything because you have a strong profile.
In academic paragraph just write in achieving way & be specific. Write you have excellent track record of 91.6 in SSC in 2007, 81.6 in HSC in 2009 & 77.8 in B.Tech, Shed some light on B.Tech courses & how they help to establish your base for your career then move on to career paragraph.
In work paragraph you have not written about skills you gained during your job instead you write about management skills which have no role in 6 years of your job but only limited to your last 1 year job. Write the technical skills you gained in 7 years & also write that you got progression of career by time from developer to senior developer & then to lead project in your team.
Inception of thoughts paragraph have no need instead write the reason to pursue the course like you can write about further progression of career through your proposed studies, also, advance level studies are required with regards to information security and what skills you think you can gain from the studies.
Again in crystallization of thoughts, a very general paragraph you have written with motivations from youtube, skip this paragraph.
In why Canada, where you mentioned about Alumni network and opportunities, you are giving impression that you are interested to do job anywhere in world and also in Canada, means you want to settle which means your intensions are not to study, just skip this. In the last those lines are very perfect where you mention about Canadian company ranking. Just praise their educational system and advancement in IT and write that you will get further progression and boost in your career in your own home country after getting education from canada,
In Concordia university paragraph, skip all the extra things only write about the university good ranking and the courses, you have only mention 2 courses, at least mention 5 courses which can enhance your skills and knowledge. Also mention what type of skills.
Skip about the course paragraph, write in previous paragraph.
In career outcome paragraph, you have written leadership skills which is very negative because it is not a business management program, Write the technical skills and then 5,6 career outcomes and also mention that you will get career progression in your current job as well.
In relevance of course you do not need to relate with your educational background but with your working experience. Just skip the whole paragraph and relate the proposed studies with your job in work experience paragraph.
In future scope paragraph you have again written about job prospects of Canada from which Visa Officer is sure that you want to settle in Canada, just skip this paragraph and mention about job prospects in Career outcome paragraph, & after that add the financial paragraph which was your 2nd paragraph on which I have already given the comments. In the last just request the VO to approve your study permit so that you can gain knowledge, built skills and have your progression of career. Also, write that this course could help to innovate something new in your home country and benefit your country even if this impact is small.
Please note that I have given the feedback with good intentions to help you. If you do not find the points appropriate then you do not need to follow everything which I have mentioned. If you need any help in the future just do let me know.
Good Luck!
Hi Garima,
I have read your complete SOP and finds that the Visa Officer just refuse your study permit application angrily with lame rejection points to tell you that you just made him angry. You have clearly written that you want to do job in Canada.
I would like to provide some comments and suggestions for you. Just ignore my grammatical mistakes.
Remove paragraph headings.
You have a very strong profile with good academics, Ielts & commitment towards your career with continuous progression but your SOP is not appropriate and impacted the visa officer very negatively. Just order the gcm notes meanwhile please note some of things of SOP.
As seeing your career your course could be of project management but still your chosen course seems to be alright. Your SOP is not attractive and it is scattered writing.
SOP is of 2100 words, it should be limited to 1000 to 1200 words only. Please remove some extra information. The more you write the more Visa officer will be suspicious about your intensions to study because from your past academics you already look bonafide student.
In introduction paragraph, last line is not appropriate, you don’t need to write that its your dream to pursue further education because now it is your requirement to get further education for your future career.
Family detail paragraph not required in the start it should be second last. Also it seems financial support paragraph instead. It should mention that you have paid the fee and for your next year fee, your husband will pay the remaining fee(show in your husband bank account), apart from that you do not need to mention anything because you have a strong profile.
In academic paragraph just write in achieving way & be specific. Write you have excellent track record of 91.6 in SSC in 2007, 81.6 in HSC in 2009 & 77.8 in B.Tech, Shed some light on B.Tech courses & how they help to establish your base for your career then move on to career paragraph.
In work paragraph you have not written about skills you gained during your job instead you write about management skills which have no role in 6 years of your job but only limited to your last 1 year job. Write the technical skills you gained in 7 years & also write that you got progression of career by time from developer to senior developer & then to lead project in your team.
Inception of thoughts paragraph have no need instead write the reason to pursue the course like you can write about further progression of career through your proposed studies, also, advance level studies are required with regards to information security and what skills you think you can gain from the studies.
Again in crystallization of thoughts, a very general paragraph you have written with motivations from youtube, skip this paragraph.
In why Canada, where you mentioned about Alumni network and opportunities, you are giving impression that you are interested to do job anywhere in world and also in Canada, means you want to settle which means your intensions are not to study, just skip this. In the last those lines are very perfect where you mention about Canadian company ranking. Just praise their educational system and advancement in IT and write that you will get further progression and boost in your career in your own home country after getting education from canada,
In Concordia university paragraph, skip all the extra things only write about the university good ranking and the courses, you have only mention 2 courses, at least mention 5 courses which can enhance your skills and knowledge. Also mention what type of skills.
Skip about the course paragraph, write in previous paragraph.
In career outcome paragraph, you have written leadership skills which is very negative because it is not a business management program, Write the technical skills and then 5,6 career outcomes and also mention that you will get career progression in your current job as well.
In relevance of course you do not need to relate with your educational background but with your working experience. Just skip the whole paragraph and relate the proposed studies with your job in work experience paragraph.
In future scope paragraph you have again written about job prospects of Canada from which Visa Officer is sure that you want to settle in Canada, just skip this paragraph and mention about job prospects in Career outcome paragraph, & after that add the financial paragraph which was your 2nd paragraph on which I have already given the comments. In the last just request the VO to approve your study permit so that you can gain knowledge, built skills and have your progression of career. Also, write that this course could help to innovate something new in your home country and benefit your country even if this impact is small.
Please note that I have given the feedback with good intentions to help you. If you do not find the points appropriate then you do not need to follow everything which I have mentioned. If you need any help in the future just do let me know.
Good Luck!
[/QUOTE]
@StruggleHard I really appreciate the time and efforts you have put in reading and making notes. I have tried to get professional help and not even my agent considered these points. I will surely re-write my SOP and have taken note of all the comments including this one to write my document precisely.
Once again thanks a lot for your valuable feedback. Negative or positive feedback only motivates me to do better. I will surely achieve my goal and am really glad I posted my problem in this forum!
I have read your complete SOP and finds that the Visa Officer just refuse your study permit application angrily with lame rejection points to tell you that you just made him angry. You have clearly written that you want to do job in Canada.
I would like to provide some comments and suggestions for you. Just ignore my grammatical mistakes.
Remove paragraph headings.
You have a very strong profile with good academics, Ielts & commitment towards your career with continuous progression but your SOP is not appropriate and impacted the visa officer very negatively. Just order the gcm notes meanwhile please note some of things of SOP.
As seeing your career your course could be of project management but still your chosen course seems to be alright. Your SOP is not attractive and it is scattered writing.
SOP is of 2100 words, it should be limited to 1000 to 1200 words only. Please remove some extra information. The more you write the more Visa officer will be suspicious about your intensions to study because from your past academics you already look bonafide student.
In introduction paragraph, last line is not appropriate, you don’t need to write that its your dream to pursue further education because now it is your requirement to get further education for your future career.
Family detail paragraph not required in the start it should be second last. Also it seems financial support paragraph instead. It should mention that you have paid the fee and for your next year fee, your husband will pay the remaining fee(show in your husband bank account), apart from that you do not need to mention anything because you have a strong profile.
In academic paragraph just write in achieving way & be specific. Write you have excellent track record of 91.6 in SSC in 2007, 81.6 in HSC in 2009 & 77.8 in B.Tech, Shed some light on B.Tech courses & how they help to establish your base for your career then move on to career paragraph.
In work paragraph you have not written about skills you gained during your job instead you write about management skills which have no role in 6 years of your job but only limited to your last 1 year job. Write the technical skills you gained in 7 years & also write that you got progression of career by time from developer to senior developer & then to lead project in your team.
Inception of thoughts paragraph have no need instead write the reason to pursue the course like you can write about further progression of career through your proposed studies, also, advance level studies are required with regards to information security and what skills you think you can gain from the studies.
Again in crystallization of thoughts, a very general paragraph you have written with motivations from youtube, skip this paragraph.
In why Canada, where you mentioned about Alumni network and opportunities, you are giving impression that you are interested to do job anywhere in world and also in Canada, means you want to settle which means your intensions are not to study, just skip this. In the last those lines are very perfect where you mention about Canadian company ranking. Just praise their educational system and advancement in IT and write that you will get further progression and boost in your career in your own home country after getting education from canada,
In Concordia university paragraph, skip all the extra things only write about the university good ranking and the courses, you have only mention 2 courses, at least mention 5 courses which can enhance your skills and knowledge. Also mention what type of skills.
Skip about the course paragraph, write in previous paragraph.
In career outcome paragraph, you have written leadership skills which is very negative because it is not a business management program, Write the technical skills and then 5,6 career outcomes and also mention that you will get career progression in your current job as well.
In relevance of course you do not need to relate with your educational background but with your working experience. Just skip the whole paragraph and relate the proposed studies with your job in work experience paragraph.
In future scope paragraph you have again written about job prospects of Canada from which Visa Officer is sure that you want to settle in Canada, just skip this paragraph and mention about job prospects in Career outcome paragraph, & after that add the financial paragraph which was your 2nd paragraph on which I have already given the comments. In the last just request the VO to approve your study permit so that you can gain knowledge, built skills and have your progression of career. Also, write that this course could help to innovate something new in your home country and benefit your country even if this impact is small.
Please note that I have given the feedback with good intentions to help you. If you do not find the points appropriate then you do not need to follow everything which I have mentioned. If you need any help in the future just do let me know.
Good Luck!
[/QUOTE]
@StruggleHard I really appreciate the time and efforts you have put in reading and making notes. I have tried to get professional help and not even my agent considered these points. I will surely re-write my SOP and have taken note of all the comments including this one to write my document precisely.
Once again thanks a lot for your valuable feedback. Negative or positive feedback only motivates me to do better. I will surely achieve my goal and am really glad I posted my problem in this forum!
Women are scarce in IT generally, and in software development more specifically. I have been in software development for over 17 years, starting as a junior developer and working my way up to Management/Architect level. As a woman (and one of color for that matter), I've had to work doubly hard to prove my worth in almost every company I've worked in. I have not encountered a lot of women in the same space throughout my career. The ones I've encountered either don't move the ladder or change career path to being Analysts or Project Managers.
I see you've also got many years of experience in the field and a great academic record, that shows you are prepared to break that glass ceiling. Highlight your achievements as a woman in IT and emphasise on how this program will help you get further in a career that does not seem to have a lot of room at the top for us. You can definitely use this angle in your favour, without coming off as a Feminist
.@StruggleHard I really appreciate the time and efforts you have put in reading and making notes. I have tried to get professional help and not even my agent considered these points. I will surely re-write my SOP and have taken note of all the comments including this one to write my document precisely.
Once again thanks a lot for your valuable feedback. Negative or positive feedback only motivates me to do better. I will surely achieve my goal and am really glad I posted my problem in this forum!
[/QUOTE]
Hi Garima,
You are always welcome. If you need any help in future just reach me out. Best of luck.