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tgchi13

Hero Member
Nov 25, 2009
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Ontario Canada
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NY via Buffalo
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Hi,our pervious lawyer had us say no to both these questions even though we have exchanged many gifts, large and small. Her reasoning was this; this is meant for traditions were certain gifts must be exchanged as proof of premarital/marital (with out wanting to offend anyone, the example was 'four lambs and a goat') negations, predominantly arranged marriages..

What have others in western or similar put in this area? I don't feel comfortable going against all her advice, but I can't see what completing this would hurt and how it can not help to should that we have always exchanged gift.

What have other Canadian/US applications fill in?
 
tgchi13 said:
Hi,our pervious lawyer had us say no to both these questions even though we have exchanged many gifts, large and small. Her reasoning was this; this is meant for traditions were certain gifts must be exchanged as proof of premarital/marital (with out wanting to offend anyone, the example was 'four lambs and a goat') negations, predominantly arranged marriages..

What have others in western or similar put in this area? I don't feel comfortable going against all her advice, but I can't see what completing this would hurt and how it can not help to should that we have always exchanged gift.

What have other Canadian/US applications fill in?

i put no after asking around amongst friends even though upon meeting we did in fact exchange gifts sort of, i'd bought him a carton of cigarettes and he bought me a cinnamon roll from tims (something i miss very much when in the states) but yeah i don't think it will reflect poorly on you if you put no, you can include gifts given to each other somewhere else if it makes you feel more comfortable
 
I too did not put any gifts. If we did exchange anything when we first met, I don't rememeber! We were poor and 18, haha! We'd paid enough to just see each other. We have some Western Union receipts and packages sent later on. I would just put "no".
 
Thanks guys! My now-fiance met me at the airport with flowers and a coffee and gave me an iPod in the car on the way to the house. I didn't want this to bite us in the butt...
 
hmm ipods pretty expensive, maybe say yes and attach a note
 
The significant part wasn't the device, but that it was filled with music - a playlist tailored to my taste and listed in an order to tell our story together to that date!

If started with Lou Gehrig's famous address: ...you have been reading about a bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth...

He's the romantic, not me (in case you couldn't tell :-)
 
yeah i probably would include that, are you going to be using another lawyer?
 
NYCtoNB said:
yeah i probably would include that, are you going to be using another lawyer?

lol - nope (once bitten thrice shy), we are flying solo and using the forums and the knowledge that I can, using the term loosely, immigrate to the US if we don't succeed!
 
Yeah, I think that only applies to arranged marriages, or some kind of relationship with a 'dowry' or something. We didn't put that any gifts were exchanged. Besides, why on earth would they expect you to list every thing that was ever given to you by your partner? It seems a bit silly...
 
I'd find it a bit silly if the fact that I mentioned cheap sentimental 'gifts', if you can even
call them that, results in a delay or halt in the process.

I did mention the little things I gave my husband on the day we met in person, and I'll let
you know if it proves to have been a bad idea. Doh!


-Mrs. Missing Mr.
 
We didn't put that any gifts were exchanged. Besides, why on earth would they expect you to list every thing that was ever given to you by your partner? It seems a bit silly...

I think it only applies to first meeting and not every gift you ever gave each other. I put that my sponsor/GF gave me a necklace. The very first time we met she was on holiday in the UK and it was my birthday so she had bought me a necklace. My exact reply was 'necklace for my birthday present' I didn't see the big deal in answering that question.
 
Ssarah183 said:
I think it only applies to first meeting and not every gift you ever gave each other. I put that my sponsor/GF gave me a necklace. The very first time we met she was on holiday in the UK and it was my birthday so she had bought me a necklace. My exact reply was 'necklace for my birthday present' I didn't see the big deal in answering that question.

Now I wonder about gift exchanged after first meeting...(I thought the first meeting gift would be an easy question!)...I don't base the gifts on monetary value, but we have each, at different times, given each other Apple computers, ipods, shuffles, hard drives, clothing, flowers, cooking implements. Some are like when you are in a long-ternm relationship and your partner complains about needing a new Roomba and you, being the loving partner you are get him new one for Christmas did).

The gifts don't determine the relationship but since gift exchange is normal in most Western relationships wouldn't it seem odd to omit these? Most of the sentimental gifts have no dollar value or receipts of course.
 
breath breath, don't worry about anything other than when you first met, and really it seems not to matter how you answer it. if you feel like you are lying by saying no than say yes if you feel it doesnt apply say no i doubt they are going to hold this of all questions in high regards..... why are you filling out his part is he making you do all the work
bad
bad
my husband did the same thing ::)
 
NYCtoNB said:
breath breath, don't worry about anything other than when you first met, and really it seems not to matter how you answer it. if you feel like you are lying by saying no than say yes if you feel it doesnt apply say no i doubt they are going to hold this of all questions in high regards..... why are you filling out his part is he making you do all the work
bad
bad
my husband did the same thing ::)

Cos, being anal, I have all the original documents in pdf to update from! And, being smart, in exchange I've left the wedding details for him...