IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[av4aviator]

Dear Friends,
kindly review it and provide your valuable feedback i am planning to give exam in a couple of weeks
@cansha @Vyn @marosa

An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss and give your opinion.

Youngsters these days are increasingly focusing on video games in comparison with the past, so some people question the uptrend that it leaves a detrimental outcome on people’s development. Despite a few benefits such as a stress-free mindset and better learning experience, from my perspective, the computerized games largely addict the adults, expose them to inappropriate content and thereby divert their focus.

On the positive note, the present adults mainly adapt TV games to divert their mind from stressful and pressured study environment; especially the gaming-consoles like PlayStation and Xbox benefit them to relax during people’s tougher time. Subsequently, few kids who are willingly continuing their focus on the games can develop their skills-sets through joyful learning in graphic designing and become graphic designers, and similarly, some turn to be professional gamer. Ultimately, the sense of achievement while accomplishing the game tasks or winning against the opponents boosts adults’ confidence level.

Conversely, the accumulative numbers are overwhelming, due to the persistent adverse impacts of modern computer hobbies; These Leisure activities eventually harm the young people’s physical and mental health. Because of the profound adrenaline effect of the nature of games, offspring are mind boggled to focus on their essential needs, which are education and health.

Additionally, the youngsters, who turn into couch potatoes, are spending enormous time on playing games and watching unrated content. I regret sometimes had not I spent much time on PlayStation, I would have been more successful than now. Despite their age ratings, many games are widely available to all children, as a consequence, due to lack of the age monitoring system, small people get exposed to the violent and adult contents before their maturity level.

To conclude, the alarming surge rate on youngster’s involvement in video games is prominently damaging their future. However, some claim that computerized gaming may free up the minds of children in so doing achieve effective learning. But, I am convinced that, enormously, the special effects addict the youngsters through unrated contents and ruin their future by wasting valuable time in front of the devil box.

 

[sara_H_JDT]

Dear Friends,
kindly review it and provide your valuable feedback i am planning to give exam in a couple of weeks
@cansha @Vyn @marosa

An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss and give your opinion.

Youngsters these days are increasingly focusing on video games in comparison with the past, so some people question the uptrend that it leaves a detrimental outcome on people’s development. Despite a few benefits such as a stress-free mindset and better learning experience, from my perspective, the computerized games largely addict the adults, expose them to inappropriate content and thereby divert their focus.

On the positive note, the present adults mainly adapt TV games to divert their mind from stressful and pressured study environment; especially the gaming-consoles like PlayStation and Xbox benefit them to relax during people’s tougher time. Subsequently, few kids who are willingly continuing their focus on the games can develop their skills-sets through joyful learning in graphic designing and become graphic designers, and similarly, some turn to be professional gamer. Ultimately, the sense of achievement while accomplishing the game tasks or winning against the opponents boosts adults’ confidence level.

Conversely, the accumulative numbers are overwhelming, due to the persistent adverse impacts of modern computer hobbies; These Leisure activities eventually harm the young people’s physical and mental health. Because of the profound adrenaline effect of the nature of games, offspring are mind boggled to focus on their essential needs, which are education and health.

Additionally, the youngsters, who turn into couch potatoes, are spending enormous time on playing games and watching unrated content. I regret sometimes had not I spent much time on PlayStation, I would have been more successful than now. Despite their age ratings, many games are widely available to all children, as a consequence, due to lack of the age monitoring system, small people get exposed to the violent and adult contents before their maturity level.

To conclude, the alarming surge rate on youngster’s involvement in video games is prominently damaging their future. However, some claim that computerized gaming may free up the minds of children in so doing achieve effective learning. But, I am convinced that, enormously, the special effects addict the youngsters through unrated contents and ruin their future by wasting valuable time in front of the devil box.

check this file I uploaded for you ,
All samples are band 9 from Cambridge it is just 37 pages
and yesterday I saw a sample like this title you wrote .
check and I do hope it could help you in your progression
Please NOTE: I hope that you would get higher than 7
please after your exam , come here to help others
Link

 

[marosa]

Dear Friends,
kindly review it and provide your valuable feedback i am planning to give exam in a couple of weeks
@cansha @Vyn @marosa

An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss both views? and give your opinion.

Youngsters these days are increasingly focusing on interested in? Focusing on is a bit different video games in comparison with the past, so some people question the uptrend that it leaves a detrimental outcome on people’s development. Despite a few google the difference between few and a few benefits, such as a stress-free mindset and better learning experience, from my perspective, the (“the” if you mean a particular game) computerized games video games, computer games or cyber sport maybe largely addict (there’s no such a form as “I addict computer games” or “computer games addict me”, it’s “I’m addicted to computer games”) the (“the” if you mean a particular group of adults) adults - actually the question is about teenagers, youngsters, young adults , expose themselves to inappropriate content and thereby divert their focus.

On the positive note, the present adults mainly adapt TV games to divert their mind from stressful and pressured study environment; especially the gaming-consoles like PlayStation and Xbox benefit them to relax during people’s tougher time. Can be considered as an example, which is fine, but it’s not a good idea to start a BP woth such a sentence. Here you should’ve presented the main idea only, which in your case is “computer games help young people get distracted from daily routine”. That’s it. Subsequently, few kids who are willingly continuing their focus on the games can develop their skills-sets through joyful learning in graphic designing and become graphic designers, and similarly, some turn to be professional gamer. You presented two different ideas, and just by adding “subsequently” doesn’t make the second sentence a logical conclusion to the first one. If you had the first idea developed properly, you could say “moreover” and continue with the second main idea... Ultimately, the sense of achievement while accomplishing the game tasks or winning against the opponents boosts adults’ confidence level. Does it? Shouldn’t you prove this idea somehow? Btw you don’t need this last part at all.

Conversely, the accumulative numbers numbers of what? are overwhelming, due to the persistent adverse impacts of modern computer hobbies; These Leisure activities eventually harm the young people’s physical and mental health. Because of the profound adrenaline effect of the nature of games, offspring are mind boggled to focus on their essential needs, which are education and health. A 2-sentenced BP means poor paragraphing and structuring, means 6.5- for CC.

Additionally, the youngsters, who turn into couch potatoes, are spending enormous time on playing games and watching unrated content. I regret sometimes had not I spent much time on PlayStation, I would have been more successful than now. I’m glad you’ve realized it now, but no need to put such personal thoughts in your essay))) Despite their age ratings, many games are widely available to all children, as a consequence, due to lack of the age monitoring system, small people get exposed to the violent and adult contents before their maturity level. This last sentence is poorly structured + the same comment as for BP2. And you’re missing an example to show how bad video games are, since that’s your opinion in this essay.

To conclude, the alarming surge rate on youngster’s involvement in video games is prominently damaging their future. However, some claim that computerized gaming may free up the minds of children in so doing achieve effective learning. But, I am convinced that, enormously, the special effects addict the youngsters through unrated contents and ruin their future by wasting valuable time in front of the devil box. This conclusion is too long, you simply need to paraphrase the last sentence of your intro and clearly state your opinion, that’s it.

Hi, please see above. + check IELTS liz or any other resource to see what the essay structure should look like, what it should consist of.

You need to practice articles, also check when we use present continuous.

Good luck.

 

[av4aviator]

Hi, please see above. + check IELTS liz or any other resource to see what the essay structure should look like, what it should consist of.

You need to practice articles, also check when we use present continuous.

Good luck.

Thanks @marosa @sara_H_JDT I will consider them, and i will practice more

 

[Rehanyousaf]

WOW
Also should be thankful from those 2 persons you've mentioned
From your point of view for writing skill should focus more on TA and CC and develop sentences and have a enough purpose for each one.
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For listening how you tackle your problem ? suppose you found that problem is section 4 how you try to solve them?from which reference ?
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Reading :
Could you suggest some useful reference which was made you assured for reading section ?Cambridge 1 - 14 ?
I think there are enough passage to analyse candidate's ability
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regards

For writing, I wanted to say that people often forget the importance of TA and CC while focusing more on complex grammar and lexical resources, at least this was the case with me. All areas are equally important; however, most of the people who are stuck at 6.5 have problems with TA and CC.

For listening, section 4, the key is to mark a noun and don't move until the speaker pronounce that noun. Nouns like a place, things, names do not have synonyms and this helps you a lot in section 4 since speakers often talk a lot about the context and people get confused in it.

For reading, I only practiced GT 11 to 14. Learn about controlling words such as Majorly, Mainly, mostly etc. These words often change the meaning of the whole sentence. Once you practice 8 to 10 tests, you can easily identify your weak areas where you are losing marks like T/F/NF or MCQ or List of headings. Once you identify that weak area then only practice that.

 

[Vyn]

@marosa @cansha

Some people say that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.
How might having a lot of money make people happy?
What other things in life can make people happy?

Essay
It is considered by some that having tons of money is the most effective way to gain happiness in life, however, some have contradicting views about this statement. In my opinion, money is a good tool to use in accessing other reinforcing items or activities that society offers, but it is not the sole reason to make a person happy. For some, they feel happiest when they are able to be with people and provide assistance.

To start with, having a large fund increases the opportunities of people to reward themselves and engage in luxurious life. Financially equipped individuals are more capable of purchasing a variety of branded items, or dine in fancy restaurants without worrying about the cost. Access to different leisure activities also plays a major part too. Oftentimes, since it is expensive, it is impossible for financially inadequate people to attain, but for rich people it is not the case. The flexibility of making decisions of what to do in life without boundaries or limitations make others feel content and worry-less. Having the ability to do what you like keeps you motivated and therefore leads to happier perspective in life. With this notion, people agree that happiness depends on money.

On another note, there are other means to feel happy, aside from earning money and be rich. Sharing time and effort are the main key stimuli that people considered to feel brighter. A good example to share is when friends and families meet to bond. Most prefer engaging in social activities with others such as going on a picnic or watching movies or simply engage in private conversation with them. Moreover, some find it fulfilling too when they are able to extend help with their loved ones or to other members of the community. Volunteering is the common norm nowadays that people engage with to make their life meaningful and happier.

In conclusion, it is argued by others that having a lot of money is enough to make one happier since it helps in gaining tangible items or indefinite access to expensive leisures in life, but there are other ways in attaining happiness. For example, spending quality time with immediate family and friends, and making yourself a beacon to make others feel better.

 

[av4aviator]

Dear Friends,
kindly review it and provide your valuable feedback i am planning to give exam in a couple of weeks
@cansha @Vyn @marosa @sara_H_JDT

Nowadays more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs.
What problems does this cause?
What are some possible solutions?

At times, due to job loss or unprecedented situations, experienced workers are often forced to compete for jobs with freshers, who have theory knowledge of the latest subjects. However, employing youngsters over elders may lead to wrong business decisions and some elders get offended. To tackle such situations, organizations are advised to prioritize older people for employment and prepare them to adapt to conditional circumstances.

A problem of employing a less experienced candidate over a mature can cause an adverse effect on business decisions, besides a lack of knowledge on real-time scenarios will implicitly influence them to make wrong moves in terms of handling employees, customers, and business strategies. For instance, Nokia, once a leading manufacturer of mobile phones, started to lose their credibility and global trade, when they had well-appointed more youngsters on managerial roles. Adding further, despite their maturity, seniors feel inferiority complex against young adults when they are less preferred for any position, which eventually leads them to mental illness like Trauma, high blood pressure, and frustration.

Fortunately, these problems can be solved by implementing a few regulations on the recruiting process. Even though freshers have low wages and advanced academic knowledge, company should consider the mature people, because it, not just aids in developing the company, yet as a mentor, seniors can transfer their skills to young aspirants. TATA’s Aspire program employs experienced senior and talented junior employees together in the same role, prominently the established optimistic relationship has financially profited the company.

In addition, the elders have to be prepared to adapt to certain situations. In reality, despite their strong effort, sometimes an elder is incompetent against a young tech-savvy. Though like these situation is unusual, the elders should learn to understand such scenarios and adhere to their core field as much as possible, where they have excelled themselves. To illustrate, while experienced people switch their field from accounting to driving, their previous experience becomes invalid, therefore a related experienced or knowledgeable person will be preferred.

All in all, the majority of aged people are compelled to compete with young talents for employment. However, the continual existence of such a trend can risk future business firms and their strategy, besides which develops frustration among elders. Ultimately adapting the solutions such as implying a new recruitment policy to favor the experienced people, and having a sufficient understanding of few real time circumstances by matures may solve the concerns abruptly.

 

[sara_H_JDT]

Dear Friends,
kindly review it and provide your valuable feedback i am planning to give exam in a couple of weeks
@cansha @Vyn @marosa @sara_H_JDT

Nowadays more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs.
What problems does this cause?
What are some possible solutions?

At times, due to job loss or unprecedented situations, experienced workers are often forced to compete for jobs with freshers, who have theory knowledge of the latest subjects. However, employing youngsters over elders may lead to wrong business decisions and some elders get offended. To tackle such situations, organizations are advised to prioritize older people for employment and prepare them to adapt to conditional circumstances.

A problem of employing a less experienced candidate over a mature can cause an adverse effect on business decisions, besides a lack of knowledge on real-time scenarios will implicitly influence them to make wrong moves in terms of handling employees, customers, and business strategies. For instance, Nokia, once a leading manufacturer of mobile phones, started to lose their credibility and global trade, when they had well-appointed more youngsters on managerial roles. Adding further, despite their maturity, seniors feel inferiority complex against young adults when they are less preferred for any position, which eventually leads them to mental illness like Trauma, high blood pressure, and frustration.

Fortunately, these problems can be solved by implementing a few regulations on the recruiting process. Even though freshers have low wages and advanced academic knowledge, company should consider the mature people, because it, not just aids in developing the company, yet as a mentor, seniors can transfer their skills to young aspirants. TATA’s Aspire program employs experienced senior and talented junior employees together in the same role, prominently the established optimistic relationship has financially profited the company.

In addition, the elders have to be prepared to adapt to certain situations. In reality, despite their strong effort, sometimes an elder is incompetent against a young tech-savvy. Though like these situation is unusual, the elders should learn to understand such scenarios and adhere to their core field as much as possible, where they have excelled themselves. To illustrate, while experienced people switch their field from accounting to driving, their previous experience becomes invalid, therefore a related experienced or knowledgeable person will be preferred.

All in all, the majority of aged people are compelled to compete with young talents for employment. However, the continual existence of such a trend can risk future business firms and their strategy, besides which develops frustration among elders. Ultimately adapting the solutions such as implying a new recruitment policy to favor the experienced people, and having a sufficient understanding of few real time circumstances by matures may solve the concerns abruptly.

Honestly , I could review based on grammar (tense of sentence) and vocab
As a Experience I've had TA and CC is playing more important role in your score.
ANYWAY
I try to rewrite it .
but try to get @marosa and @cansha 's opinion
you could overcome on vocab and grammar very fast .
Recently I've seen that in barroan's writing he explains in detail

 

[MeenuDeepak]

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep
What problems can lack of sleep cause
What can be done about lack of sleep.




An increasing number of people often complained about sleep deprivation. The principle reason behind this trend is increased stress in life and also screen time. The most viable solution for this is to indulge in exercise and also work to change lifestyle

As level of competition is increasing day by day due to which person have to work over time to fulfill expectation of authorities and to meet deadlines of work. It automatically increased screen time of users and it's repercussion is on the mind which make it awake in night also,create problem in sound sleep. In addition,to accomplish multiple work stress level is extended in individuals which hinder sleep among masses. For instance, in IT organization 70% workers often complained about sleep disorder as majority of individuals are busy in browsing phone related to work or amusement which engulf their sleeping time , result in less time for sleeping

The most effective solution for this problem is to do workout which help to eliminate mental stress from the body. Futhermore,daily routine should be changed such as healthy food habits and proper time management so that sufficient time will get for sleep and also need to set priority for real things instead of time devoting in virtual life. For example, in metro cities people often complained insomnia, doctors recommended to change lifestyle in which gave suggestion to restrict screen time at least two hours
ago before going to bed so that individuals do not complain about improper sleep.

In conclusion, indulging in exercise and change life routine are the two dominating reasons to overcome the problem of stress and screen sharing time which create problem in getting sufficient sleep.

 

[MeenuDeepak]

Dear friends
Please review my essay and provide valuable feedback
@cansha ,@Vyn ,@marosa

 

[sara_H_JDT]

Dear Friends,
kindly review it and provide your valuable feedback i am planning to give exam in a couple of weeks
@cansha @Vyn @marosa @sara_H_JDT

Nowadays more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs.
What problems does this cause?
What are some possible solutions?

At times, due to job loss or unprecedented situations, experienced workers are often forced to compete for jobs with freshers, who have theory knowledge of the latest subjects. However, employing youngsters over elders may lead to wrong business decisions and some elders get offended. To tackle such situations, organizations are advised to prioritize older people for employment and prepare them to adapt to conditional circumstances.

A problem of employing a less experienced candidate over a mature can cause an adverse effect on business decisions, besides a lack of knowledge on real-time scenarios will implicitly influence them to make wrong moves in terms of handling employees, customers, and business strategies. For instance, Nokia, once a leading manufacturer of mobile phones, started to lose their credibility and global trade, when they had well-appointed more youngsters on managerial roles. Adding further, despite their maturity, seniors feel inferiority complex against young adults when they are less preferred for any position, which eventually leads them to mental illness like Trauma, high blood pressure, and frustration.

Fortunately, these problems can be solved by implementing a few regulations on the recruiting process. Even though freshers have low wages and advanced academic knowledge, company should consider the mature people, because it, not just aids in developing the company, yet as a mentor, seniors can transfer their skills to young aspirants. TATA’s Aspire program employs experienced senior and talented junior employees together in the same role, prominently the established optimistic relationship has financially profited the company.

In addition, the elders have to be prepared to adapt to certain situations. In reality, despite their strong effort, sometimes an elder is incompetent against a young tech-savvy. Though like these situation is unusual, the elders should learn to understand such scenarios and adhere to their core field as much as possible, where they have excelled themselves. To illustrate, while experienced people switch their field from accounting to driving, their previous experience becomes invalid, therefore a related experienced or knowledgeable person will be preferred.

All in all, the majority of aged people are compelled to compete with young talents for employment. However, the continual existence of such a trend can risk future business firms and their strategy, besides which develops frustration among elders. Ultimately adapting the solutions such as implying a new recruitment policy to favor the experienced people, and having a sufficient understanding of few real time circumstances by matures may solve the concerns abruptly.

One of the most debated problem of today’s globalization world is competing among a younger ages and elderly person in gaining a job. By the time, this kind of problem has been changed to perennial dilemma for both job seekers and also companies they would try to apply for them.

From one side, we confront a bunch of graduated guys with almost knowledge of latest theoretical knowledge who has an immensely enthusiastic and significant passion in finding appropriate job position. Indeed these recent graduated youngsters are trying to gain a deserve level as they had been remarkably endeavored therefor while they were studying at university and struggling with hardest subjects. In view of this, however, lack of adequate experience of these groups lead to make a good distinction from elder job seekers who may have more related experience in this matter.

In addition, we have an old experienced and skilled person who has been working for a many years, nevertheless, they also have a highly expectation to be used from either government or company as a high position level. However, this proven fact must not be forgotten that, in spite of having wide variety of knowledge, it is severely needed to upgrade their knowledge to the most up-to-date thereof.

One probable problem in this matter for youngsters could be negative impression on them which definitely will make them disappointed. Also in completion with this range certainly makes another groups entirely frustrated and obviously have many negative affect both in theirs and society.

In return , one possible solution to tackle this issue could be expect-decline from recent graduate student which should be done through a university and expert consultant. They should be understood that , one day these elder persons were as a same age of them and in reality they had tried a lot to reach at this level.

To conclude , it is widely accepted that each company should try to prioritize their employee instead of attention to few factors of them such as their ages . Also , both groups must accept that one day elderly person should be interchanged with new young person and youngsters should be realized that they have to slowly climbed to the top of the career ladder and it's taken notable time to achieve this.

 

[sara_H_JDT]

One of the most debated problem of today’s globalization world is competing among a younger ages and elderly person in gaining a job. By the time, this kind of problem has been changed to perennial dilemma for both job seekers and also companies they would try to apply for them.

From one side, we confront a bunch of graduated guys with almost knowledge of latest theoretical knowledge who has an immensely enthusiastic and significant passion in finding appropriate job position. Indeed these recent graduated youngsters are trying to gain a deserve level as they had been remarkably endeavored therefor while they were studying at university and struggling with hardest subjects. In view of this, however, lack of adequate experience of these groups lead to make a good distinction from elder job seekers who may have more related experience in this matter.

In addition, we have an old experienced and skilled person who has been working for a many years, nevertheless, they also have a highly expectation to be used from either government or company as a high position level. However, this proven fact must not be forgotten that, in spite of having wide variety of knowledge, it is severely needed to upgrade their knowledge to the most up-to-date thereof.

One probable problem in this matter for youngsters could be negative impression on them which definitely will make them disappointed. Also in completion with this range certainly makes another groups entirely frustrated and obviously have many negative affect both in theirs and society.

In return , one possible solution to tackle this issue could be expect-decline from recent graduate student which should be done through a university and expert consultant. They should be understood that , one day these elder persons were as a same age of them and in reality they had tried a lot to reach at this level.

To conclude , it is widely accepted that each company should try to prioritize their employee instead of attention to few factors of them such as their ages . Also , both groups must accept that one day elderly person should be interchanged with new young person and youngsters should be realized that they have to slowly climbed to the top of the career ladder and it's taken notable time to achieve this.

I don't check all text and quickly just write
also I would re check it again definitely

 

[sara_H_JDT]

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep
What problems can lack of sleep cause
What can be done about lack of sleep.




An increasing number of people often complained about sleep deprivation. The principle reason behind this trend is increased stress in life and also screen time. The most viable solution for this is to indulge in exercise and also work to change lifestyle

As level of competition is increasing day by day due to which person have to work over time to fulfill expectation of authorities and to meet deadlines of work. It automatically increased screen time of users and it's repercussion is on the mind which make it awake in night also,create problem in sound sleep. In addition,to accomplish multiple work stress level is extended in individuals which hinder sleep among masses. For instance, in IT organization 70% workers often complained about sleep disorder as majority of individuals are busy in browsing phone related to work or amusement which engulf their sleeping time , result in less time for sleeping

The most effective solution for this problem is to do workout which help to eliminate mental stress from the body. Futhermore,daily routine should be changed such as healthy food habits and proper time management so that sufficient time will get for sleep and also need to set priority for real things instead of time devoting in virtual life. For example, in metro cities people often complained insomnia, doctors recommended to change lifestyle in which gave suggestion to restrict screen time at least two hours
ago before going to bed so that individuals do not complain about improper sleep.

In conclusion, indulging in exercise and change life routine are the two dominating reasons to overcome the problem of stress and screen sharing time which create problem in getting sufficient sleep.

what you mean by :

What can be done about lack of sleep.

Did you mean what are the approaches or what are the solutions for solve this ?
this is not clear title : (
at least one bullet point is missing form my perspective which is : what is caused people to sleep less than their need or something like this

 

[sara_H_JDT]

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep
What problems can lack of sleep cause
What can be done about lack of sleep.




An increasing number of people often complained about sleep deprivation. The principle reason behind this trend is increased stress in life and also screen time. The most viable solution for this is to indulge in exercise and also work to change lifestyle

As level of competition is increasing day by day due to which person have to work over time to fulfill expectation of authorities and to meet deadlines of work. It automatically increased screen time of users and it's repercussion is on the mind which make it awake in night also,create problem in sound sleep. In addition,to accomplish multiple work stress level is extended in individuals which hinder sleep among masses. For instance, in IT organization 70% workers often complained about sleep disorder as majority of individuals are busy in browsing phone related to work or amusement which engulf their sleeping time , result in less time for sleeping

The most effective solution for this problem is to do workout which help to eliminate mental stress from the body. Futhermore,daily routine should be changed such as healthy food habits and proper time management so that sufficient time will get for sleep and also need to set priority for real things instead of time devoting in virtual life. For example, in metro cities people often complained insomnia, doctors recommended to change lifestyle in which gave suggestion to restrict screen time at least two hours
ago before going to bed so that individuals do not complain about improper sleep.

In conclusion, indulging in exercise and change life routine are the two dominating reasons to overcome the problem of stress and screen sharing time which create problem in getting sufficient sleep.

Dear @marosa and @cansha
This time I try to focus on development sentences
But , unfortunately , I think I lost vocab from Lexical criteria ,
please also give your expertise opinion on this
Thanks
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Being healthy is a important key for each person over the life. Sleeping without any doubt is the most crucial ingredients of this process through a human’s life. Indeed lacking of sleep has been a serious problem over the past decade which are caused many scientists from various fields has been studied thereof.


In first stage, it is a general perception that at least 7 hours of sleeping is needed for mature person during the day. However, many people complain that, it is tough to get enough sleep. In view of this, there are several reasons behind this fact that why it is difficult to get asleep. To support this fact, many researchers in human health area are believed that work pressure and environmental stress could be enumerated as the most important reasons. people always think about daily tasks such as expenditure, future, family, preserving current job and many more.This way of living obviously will be caused harmful effect and causes negative result such as they might be unable to getting enough sleep as well.

Moreover, Lack of sleeping have many drawback sides which will be quickly revealed in daily life. To give a clear example, recently Chicago University has been released an article that is strongly indicated that main reasons for the most of employees who get fired is do not have significant focus on their work, In spite of having remaining factors. This seriously backs to lack of sleeping over the nigh.

In addition, there are several proved ways to tackle this dilemma. Firstly, employers should reduce the daily task of their employee. Secondly each person should make more free time in life in sake of doing entertainment, traveling, and pleasure more from his life. Additionally, people should have close friends for urgent case to release inside, therefore they will become mind-free and de-stressing in specific situation.


In conclusion , however, lack of sleeping is a kind of sticky situation but it has ways to overcome and by the time and changing lifestyle could get better and better. To progress and advance this procedure assuredly society and family and all the involved person in our living has a specific role.

(349 words)

 

[MeenuDeepak]

what you mean by :

Did you mean what are the approaches or what are the solutions for solve this ?
this is not clear title : (
at least one bullet point is missing form my perspective which is : what is caused people to sleep less than their need or something like this

Topic is from cambridge 15 general training