Thank you so much for the comprehensive review. I do appreciate it. I will work as per your suggestion. Thank you.
IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
Congrats! All the best for rest of the process.
You’ve posted this comment in a 218-pages book about how to score 7+ my friend. Good luck!
Hello 
Dear
H0peAndFa1th
cansha
kindly check my essay and help me to improve my writing skills. (Requirements : 8777)
Thanks in advance
‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
.........
Experimentation and treatment of illness is very expensive nowdays so it is always better to keep oneself healthy by adapting good lifestyle and some preventive steps. I completely agree with this statement.
‘’ Prevention is better than cure.’’ People can make themselves at low risk of getting infections or diseases by adding good habits in their lifestyle. By avorting they will not only set themselves free from diseases but also the expenditure will get reduced. For instance, the price of treatment and medicine are rapidly increasing. The individual who hardly earn his bread, who can only afford basic living necessaries will hardly be able to buy drugs or treatment for his family. This could cause mental stress to the individual. If that person take preventive measures this could save his money and health as well.
Furthermore, this will aslo decrease the burden on health system. For example, in a 40 beded hospital, if the strength or number of patients are 50 then it will automatically increase the work load on the staff members as well as on the medical facilities. If human being keep themselves fit and take primary preventive measures this would be hurting skills and smooth working environment.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea of preventing oneself from getting diseases and maintaining good lifestyle.
Dear
H0peAndFa1th
cansha
kindly check my essay and help me to improve my writing skills. (Requirements : 8777)
Thanks in advance
‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
.........
Experimentation and treatment of illness is very expensive nowdays so it is always better to keep oneself healthy by adapting good lifestyle and some preventive steps. I completely agree with this statement.
‘’ Prevention is better than cure.’’ People can make themselves at low risk of getting infections or diseases by adding good habits in their lifestyle. By avorting they will not only set themselves free from diseases but also the expenditure will get reduced. For instance, the price of treatment and medicine are rapidly increasing. The individual who hardly earn his bread, who can only afford basic living necessaries will hardly be able to buy drugs or treatment for his family. This could cause mental stress to the individual. If that person take preventive measures this could save his money and health as well.
Furthermore, this will aslo decrease the burden on health system. For example, in a 40 beded hospital, if the strength or number of patients are 50 then it will automatically increase the work load on the staff members as well as on the medical facilities. If human being keep themselves fit and take primary preventive measures this would be hurting skills and smooth working environment.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea of preventing oneself from getting diseases and maintaining good lifestyle.
This thread is for writing guys, irrelevant posts make it difficult for other users to find the information they look for.
As for reading, just based on my experience - I used ieltsmentor website to practice and scored 8.5 and 9 constantly. Hope this helps.
As for reading, just based on my experience - I used ieltsmentor website to practice and scored 8.5 and 9 constantly. Hope this helps.
Add a third body paragraph.Hello
Dear
H0peAndFa1th
cansha
kindly check my essay and help me to improve my writing skills. (Requirements : 8777)
Thanks in advance
‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
.........
Experimentation and treatment of illness is very expensive nowdays so it is always better to keep oneself healthy by adapting good lifestyle and some preventive steps. I completely agree with this statement.
‘’ Prevention is better than cure.’’ People can make themselves at low risk of getting infections or diseases by adding good habits in their lifestyle. By avorting they will not only set themselves free from diseases but also the expenditure will get reduced. For instance, the price of treatment and medicine are rapidly increasing. The individual who hardly earn his bread, who can only afford basic living necessaries will hardly be able to buy drugs or treatment for his family. This could cause mental stress to the individual. If that person take preventive measures this could save his money and health as well.
Furthermore, this will aslo decrease the burden on health system. For example, in a 40 beded hospital, if the strength or number of patients are 50 then it will automatically increase the work load on the staff members as well as on the medical facilities. If human being keep themselves fit and take primary preventive measures this would be hurting skills and smooth working environment.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea of preventing oneself from getting diseases and maintaining good lifestyle.
In intro while ending paragraph give a hint of what's coming in body paragraphs
- 3rd BP is not mandatory. It’s just that there are better chances to score 8 and above with 3 BP’s. But it’s better to have 2 BP’s which are fully covered, than 3 BPs 3 sentences each, for example. For 7 and 7.5 it’s enough for sure.
- I agree regarding the intro: it should’ve been something like “I completely agree that prevention is more cost efficient than curing, since it both reduces potential diseases among population, as well as doesn’t create additional burden on the healthcare sector.” This would be a 7+ ending of an introduction. Then the examiner knows you’re going to discuss avoiding diseases in the first BP and a more efficiently operating healthcare in the second BP.
Hi, see above.Hello
Dear
H0peAndFa1th
cansha
kindly check my essay and help me to improve my writing skills. (Requirements : 8777)
Thanks in advance
‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
.........
It is argued by some/some people claim/ some argue that... Experimentation and treatment of illness is very expensive nowdays so it is always better to keep oneself healthy by adapting good lifestyle - this is a trap you’ve got yourself into. First of all, the first sentence of the intro should not bring any new ideas, only repeat/paraphrase what you already have in the question. Secondly, if you’re mentioning healthy lifestyle in the intro, you’re letting the examiner know that is going to be one of your main ideas later either in BP1 or BP2. and some preventive steps. I completely agree with this statement.
‘’ Prevention is better than cure.’’ This sentence is not counted because it’s not yours, copy-pasting a question automatically means 6.5 at most. They can even deduct scores for this. People can make themselves at low risk of getting infections or diseases by adding good habits in their lifestyle. - this is not a direct answer to the question. The question is: is it cheaper to prevent than to cure? Your answer is yes; so now your job is to show why yes. So before starting to write, ask yourself the question “why is it cheaper to prevent rather than to cure” - answer 1: “because spending little on prevention, you won’t have to spend a lot on curing”. That’s the idea of your BP1. So your BP1 should start with this statement. E.g. “Firstly, working towards preventing potential health issues can enable people to minimise diseases in the future.” - btw pay attention that I use “can” instead of making my statement sound like a 100% truth. This way I ensure I have space to maneuver, orelse I’d have to prove that there is no way one invests in prevention and still gets sick, which is obviously not true - that may also happen, it’s just that it’s less likely to.
Then you need to ask yourself the question “why?” - the answer is “because when you invest in health you’re less likely to get sick or if you do it will most probably be a less serious problem”. So the second sentence would be “Those, who invest in preventive measures, such as consuming healthy food and doing sports, are able to strengthen their immune system and, as a result, be more resistant against sicknesses.” - this sentence is a bit long, but can work if grammatically correct. Also, it’s long due to the fact that I brought examples - I listed preventive measures.
Here I would probably add a sentence like “It takes as little as exercising every morning or not consuming fast food to be healthy, while curing a disease is not only costlybut also challenging psychologically”. - but this sentence is not mandatory.
the 3rd sentence can be an example, though if you have an example in the 2nd BP and you’ve listed measures in the 1st one that should be sufficient even for 8. But if you choose to bring an example, it doesn’t have to be fake made up statistics, it can be something like “It is no wonder that physical education is a mandatory discipline for most schools worldwide: by teaching children a healthy lifestyle since an early age, countries eventually get a healthier population as an outcome.”
To finalize your BP you should answer to a question “so what?” And the answer to that “so what” should also address the examiners question. In this case, your “so what” should state that “Therefore, should one choose not to spend money on expensive medical treatment, they would need to take measures towards a healthy life in the first place.”
BP1:
Firstly, working towards preventing potential health issues can enable people to minimise diseases in the future. Those, who invest in preventive measures are able to strengthen their immune system and, as a result, be more resistant against sicknesses. It is no wonder that physical education is a mandatory discipline for most schools worldwide: by teaching children a healthy lifestyle since an early age, countries eventually get a healthier population as an outcome. It takes as little as [exercising every morning and not consuming fast food] (<— I removed the part about sports and food from the 2nd sentence, because I already have it here, but I could also not have this sentence and simply put the listing in the 2nd sentence) to be healthy, while curing a disease is not only costly but also challenging psychologically. Therefore, should one choose not to spend money on expensive medical treatment, they would need to take measures towards a healthy life in the first place.
———————————————
I won’t review the rest, you can use the sample above as a template to construct any BP.
By avorting they will not only set themselves free from diseases but also the expenditure will get reduced. For instance, the price of treatment and medicine are rapidly increasing. The individual who hardly earn his bread, who can only afford basic living necessaries will hardly be able to buy drugs or treatment for his family. This could cause mental stress to the individual. If that person take preventive measures this could save his money and health as well.
Furthermore, this will aslo decrease the burden on health system. For example, in a 40 beded hospital, if the strength or number of patients are 50 then it will automatically increase the work load on the staff members as well as on the medical facilities. If human being keep themselves fit and take primary preventive measures this would be hurting skills and smooth working environment.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea of preventing oneself from getting diseases and maintaining good lifestyle. Paraphrase the last sentence of the intro here, the way I showed above.
A better strategy for “to what extent do you agree” type of questions is to “mainly agree (disagree)”. In this case we’re saying “for most cases I agree (disagree) except for this particular case”.
Q:‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
A: In my opinion, I mainly agree that it is more efficient for individuals to take preventive measures, however it can be more beneficial for the economy to invest in research and development. BP1 about people, BP2 about the economy.
A2: In my opinion, while prevention is a better choice in case of physical diseases, to overcome a mental illness it is more preferable to invest in actual research and development. BP1 about physical illnesses, BP2 about mental diseases.
https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-194#post-8634253
Q:‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
A: In my opinion, I mainly agree that it is more efficient for individuals to take preventive measures, however it can be more beneficial for the economy to invest in research and development. BP1 about people, BP2 about the economy.
A2: In my opinion, while prevention is a better choice in case of physical diseases, to overcome a mental illness it is more preferable to invest in actual research and development. BP1 about physical illnesses, BP2 about mental diseases.
https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-194#post-8634253
Hello @marosa
Kindly check this improvised essay
Q:‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Experimentation and treatment of illness is very expensive, so it is always better to keep oneself healthy by adapting some preventive steps. I completely agree with the fact because it can help to reduce the economical crisis on people as well as burden on the healthcare system.
One reason to support that point is, people can make themselves at low risk of getting infections or diseases by adding good habits in their lifestyle. By averting they will not only set themselves free from getting disorders but also the expenditure will get reduced. The money they are spending on treatment and buying medicines that would be saved for other reasons, which would result in low mental stress caused by lack of money. If a person, for instance, who do not get suffer from disease he or she will be have a healthy lifespan and the minimum expenditure on treatment.
Another possible point is it would reduce the load on health system. If people of the nation are fit and healthy they would not need any health services on treatment. This will eventually leads to less patient ratio in the hospitals and ultimately the health services will be cost effective. For example, in some countries where people have good lifestyle are less likely to get sick due to which the nursing skills and health services are superior for others who need treatment.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea of preventing oneself from diseases and adapting healthy lifestyle to remain fit since people would not face any financial challenges and healthcare services would run smoothly.
Word Count : 264
Hello @marosa
Kindly check this improvised essay
Q:‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Experimentation and treatment of illness is very expensive, so it is always better to keep oneself healthy by adapting some preventive steps. I completely agree with the fact because it can help to reduce the economical crisis on people as well as burden on the healthcare system.
One reason to support that point is, people can make themselves at low risk of getting infections or diseases by adding good habits in their lifestyle. By averting they will not only set themselves free from getting disorders but also the expenditure will get reduced. The money they are spending on treatment and buying medicines that would be saved for other reasons, which would result in low mental stress caused by lack of money. If a person, for instance, who do not get suffer from disease he or she will be have a healthy lifespan and the minimum expenditure on treatment.
Another possible point is it would reduce the load on health system. If people of the nation are fit and healthy they would not need any health services on treatment. This will eventually leads to less patient ratio in the hospitals and ultimately the health services will be cost effective. For example, in some countries where people have good lifestyle are less likely to get sick due to which the nursing skills and health services are superior for others who need treatment.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea of preventing oneself from diseases and adapting healthy lifestyle to remain fit since people would not face any financial challenges and healthcare services would run smoothly.
Word Count : 264
Hi @
marosa
H0peAndFa1th
@cansha Kindly check my essay because my test is in January.
Thanks.
https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2/Hello @marosa
Kindly check this improvised essay
Q:‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Experimentation and treatment of illness is very expensive, so it is always better to keep oneself healthy by adapting to adapt is not the same as to adopt, and you don't usually even say "to adopt steps" in English - "to take steps", "to make steps", "to take measures", "to adopt measures" some preventive steps. I completely agree with the fact which fact? because it can help to reduce the economical crisis on people as well as burden on the healthcare system. Your intro is too short, if instead of "with the fact" you explained which "fact" you meant it both would make more sense and your intro would look more comprehensive.
“In my opinion, I agree that it is more preferable to direct resources to prevent rather than cure diseases, because it is both more efficient from the economic (or financial) perspective, as well as can reduce the burden on the healthcare system"
One reason to support that point which point? you'll have to keep repeating the question throughout the essay, paraphrasing it every time. I've already provided a sample how to write this BP. And one more thing, learn to work with key linking words, like "firstly/secondly", "on the one hand/on the other hand". Please read this thread and ieltsliz' website. That's the only way to get 7+. 1. You need to get an understanding of task 2 structure, 2. After that you need to practice a lot, you need to write at least 2 essays every day. is, people can make themselves at low risk of getting infections or diseases by adding good habits in their lifestyle. By averting they will not only set themselves free from getting disorders but also the expenditure will get reduced. The money they are spending on treatment and buying medicines that would be saved for other reasons, which would result in low mental stress caused by lack of money. If a person, for instance, who do not get suffer from disease he or she will be have a healthy lifespan and the minimum expenditure on treatment.
Another possible point is it it what? would reduce the load on health system. If people of the nation are fit and healthy they would not need any health services on treatment. This will eventually leads to less patient ratio in the hospitals and ultimately the health services will be cost effective. For example, in some countries where people have good lifestyle are less likely to get sick due to which the nursing skills and health services are superior for others who need treatment. "in some countries" is not an example
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea of preventing oneself from diseases and adapting healthy lifestyle to remain fit since people would not face any financial challenges and healthcare services would run smoothly.
Word Count : 264