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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

Jasdeogan

Star Member
Oct 10, 2018
145
33
@ieltsOnly could u please enlighten me with ur knowledge ;p this is another essay i have written.

Shopping has become a new favourite for younger generation. why is this the case? should we encourage them to develop other hobbies too?


it is true that shopping is becoming increasingly popular among youngsters. modern marketing methods influence many customers to buy products and make them feeling of instant gratification. I strongly believe that one should adopt other hobbies like sports or art to avoid unnecessary debts.


The main cause of this development is that brands invest large amounts of money to collect and analyse customers' data. These modern techniques enable companies to influence customers specifically. consequently, these advertisements encourage people to purchase goods more often. Moreover, people like to buy expensive products to display there class and standard of living to others. This gives them instant gratification. For example, Rolex wristwatches are way more expensive than other watches.Many people buy these goods to show their class they belong to in society.


Furthermore, youngsters should be encouraged to learn or develop other hobbies such as sports or art.learning these hobbies will not only help youngsters to spend their leisure time effectively but also have them to be financially stable, saving them from unnecessary credits. While sports can keep them physically and mentally fit, art can make them successful in life. in addition to this, youngsters can make these hobbies as their career which was not the case in shopping. For example, Virat Kohli, An Indian cricket team member, Loved to play cricket when he was young and when he grew up he decided to make this sport as his career. Now he is one of the most successful sports persons in the world.


In conclusion, I think people get influenced by marketing techniques and useless needs, other skills apart from shopping can be developed to avoid the unnecessary debts and effectively utilise leisure time.
 

Ashinder

Full Member
Aug 19, 2018
21
2
With the advent of technology in every walk of our life, space exploration is no more exception. Due to the cutting-edge technology and scientific discoveries, mankind has a great opportunities to investigate boundless space. There are some critics (why are the critics supporting the motion?) who supports the idea of knowing more about universe and some argue with this view. (There are some who support the idea of knowing more about the universe and others who criticize this view.) In my opinion, I believe that good understanding of universe can help us to resolve the crucial problems of our home planet.

On one hand, space exploration helps in dealing with the concern of limited sustainable land due to increasing population and resource depletion. Searching new planets (which are suitable for people life and which are abundant in essential survival resources) is what modern space science is dealing with. For example, a recent discovery of NASA about the availability of water on planet moon has proved the possibility of human life on this planet. In addition to this, scientist may explore new form of life and living beings such as aliens which are considered to be beneficial for the mankind. That is why space research is worth continuing.

Multiple ideas introduced in a single paragraph. one is finding an alternate planet to handle resource scarcity and another one is research on aliens. the second idea is not completely developed. You should have focused on one idea which is completely developed.

Again there is no rule, however in my view, writing opposing side in 1st paragraph and supporting side in second body paragraph is more logical. You may disagree, it is purely my opinion.

On the other hand, some people think that funding astronomical research is futile. As these projects requires hefty investment which results in putting financial stress on government as well as on the people. For instance, the citizens of Somalia went under poverty due to the heavy investment by the government in cosmic projects. Furthermore (not the right word) Therefore, rather than finding new planets we (who is this pronoun referring to?) authorities/governments should invest in improving our healthcare and education which will bolster to make our planet a living heaven. All these reasons represents the darker side drawbacks of the space exploration.

The example is way too much of an imagination. Not sure if this is valid. Experts can comment on this.

In conclusion, space research provides significant knowledge to us about the universe. and Hence, I assert that we should allocate adequate funds such so that we can fulfill the basic necessities of mankind and at the same time we can continue with our research about the galaxies. (what basic necessities are you fulfilling with space research) Over all the conclusion is little confusing and not in sync with intro.


All the best
@ieltsOnly
I really appreciate your efforts on reviewing the essay and providing detailed feedback ……
 
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ieltsOnly

Member
Sep 10, 2019
17
4
@ieltsOnly could u please enlighten me with ur knowledge ;p this is another essay i have written.

Shopping has become a new favourite for younger generation. why is this the case? should we encourage them to develop other hobbies too?


it is true that shopping is becoming increasingly popular among youngsters. modern marketing methods influence many customers to buy products and make them feeling of instant gratification. Majority of this can be attributed to the influence that modern marketing strategies have on youth and the urge to prove their superiority. I strongly believe that one should adopt other hobbies like sports or art to avoid unnecessary debts.


The main cause of this development is that brands invest large amounts of money to collect and analyse customers' data. These modern techniques enable companies to influence customers specifically. consequently, these advertisements encourage people to purchase goods more often. Moreover, people like to buy expensive products to display there class and standard of living to others. This gives them instant gratification. For example, Rolex wristwatches are way more expensive than other watches.Many people buy these goods to show their class they belong to in society.
Your essay could be right but your topic sentence doesn't sound to me like a valid reason for ppl doing more shopping. The question is "Why is this the case". So, we need to write the reasons for ppl doing more shopping. then explain the reason or elaborate the reason.
Revised 1st para:
There are two prominent justifications for the said behavior of young people. Firstly, the attractive marketing techniques that the companies adopt are extremely influential among the targeted audience. In this case, the younger generations are being lured by various advertisements and instant-offers to purchase their products. For instance, Amazon, the largest online market place in India, spent 1 Billion Indian rupees on their marketing strategies. Secondly, people often enjoy the feeling of being superior to others and they try to achieve this by buying some really expensive products and freshly arrived gadgets. Some of them even borrow money from others to buy these products finally to end in serious debt.


@ieltsOnly
Furthermore , youngsters should be encouraged to learn or develop other hobbies such as sports or art.learning these hobbies will not only help youngsters to spend their leisure time effectively but also have them to . be financially stable, saving them from unnecessary credits. While sports can keep them physically and mentally fit, art can make them successful in life. in addition to this, youngsters can make these hobbies as their career which was not the case in shopping. For example, Virat Kohli, An Indian cricket team member, Loved to play cricket when he was young and when he grew up he decided to make this sport as his career. Now he is one of the most successful sports persons in the world..


Therefore, youngsters should be encouraged to learn or develop other hobbies such as sports or arts. While sports can keep them physically and mentally fit, arts can make them successful in life. Unlike shopping, they can choose a career from these hobbies and can eventually achieve financial stability. For example, Virat Kohli, An Indian cricket team member, Love playing cricket when he was young, now he is a renowned cricket player in the world. So, developing hobbies other than shopping is proven to be a great idea.

@ieltsOnly
In conclusion, I think people get influenced by marketing techniques and useless needs, other skills apart from shopping can be developed to avoid the unnecessary debts and effectively utilise leisure time.
In conclusion, I think, while the two major factors influencing the young generation to do more shopping are the marketing strategies and their urge for superiority, it can be controlled by adopting hobbies like sports arts.


By the way, this is how I would approach. Let's wait for @cansha to comment more on this.

In my view, your ideas are good but missing on the smooth flow from sentence to sentence and one paragraph to the other. For example, in your second paragraph, I hardly changed anything except the order of sentences and removal of one sentence.

Let me know your thoughts.
 

Jasdeogan

Star Member
Oct 10, 2018
145
33
Your essay could be right but your topic sentence doesn't sound to me like a valid reason for ppl doing more shopping. The question is "Why is this the case". So, we need to write the reasons for ppl doing more shopping. then explain the reason or elaborate the reason.
Revised 1st para:
There are two prominent justifications for the said behavior of young people. Firstly, the attractive marketing techniques that the companies adopt are extremely influential among the targeted audience. In this case, the younger generations are being lured by various advertisements and instant-offers to purchase their products. For instance, Amazon, the largest online market place in India, spent 1 Billion Indian rupees on their marketing strategies. Secondly, people often enjoy the feeling of being superior to others and they try to achieve this by buying some really expensive products and freshly arrived gadgets. Some of them even borrow money from others to buy these products finally to end in serious debt.




Therefore, youngsters should be encouraged to learn or develop other hobbies such as sports or arts. While sports can keep them physically and mentally fit, arts can make them successful in life. Unlike shopping, they can choose a career from these hobbies and can eventually achieve financial stability. For example, Virat Kohli, An Indian cricket team member, Love playing cricket when he was young, now he is a renowned cricket player in the world. So, developing hobbies other than shopping is proven to be a great idea.



In conclusion, I think, while the two major factors influencing the young generation to do more shopping are the marketing strategies and their urge for superiority, it can be controlled by adopting hobbies like sports arts.


By the way, this is how I would approach. Let's wait for @cansha to comment more on this.

In my view, your ideas are good but missing on the smooth flow from sentence to sentence and one paragraph to the other. For example, in your second paragraph, I hardly changed anything except the order of sentences and removal of one sentence.

Let me know your thoughts.
i think you have good control on vocabulary apart from sentence structures.
 

Ashinder

Full Member
Aug 19, 2018
21
2
@ieltsOnly ..Can you also please provide your feedback on essay:


Topic:
First impression are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a job. To what extend do you agree?

Essay:

In this era of bottleneck competition, corporate industries are hiring multitalented professionals who can represent them globally. It is considered by many that interviewee qualifies for a position not only because they have respectable grades in their degrees but it is due to the first impression. In my opinion, I believe that body language and gestures play a vital role in creating an influence over the interviewer.

To embark with, body language portrays how optimistic a person is if hired to work on company’s role. This is because the proper eye contact and straight shoulders represents that a person carries confidence and positive attitude towards his or her work. For example, in a survey conducted by a job portal website of UK got the highest votes from the human resources that they would prefer to hire an employee with a smart and visionary approach over the extra qualification or degrees. As a result, employers are willing to arrange additional training to the new joinees to receive potential output from them.

Furthermore, an interviewee dressing style and etiquettes displays professionalism and suitability to present the company on a global platform. The reason for this is that these days company have clients all over the world. Hence when an employee travels to the client office their behavioral presentation will either boost the business relationship or ruin company image irrespective of the fact from where and how many years the worker have studied in the university. As a result company has to closely analyze the credibility of an employee before hiring.

In conclusion, the notion first impression is the last impression holds true because the employer has a limited time to evaluate an employee before hiring. So I assert that interviewee first impression on the employer either bolster him to grab the job opportunity or get rejected without considering his or her degree or skills.
 

ieltsOnly

Member
Sep 10, 2019
17
4
@ieltsOnly ..Can you also please provide your feedback on essay:


Topic:
First impression are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a job. To what extend do you agree?

Essay:

In this era of bottleneck competition, corporate industries are hiring multitalented professionals who can represent them globally. It is considered by a certain group of people many(in question it says some people think. Make sure your paraphrasing of sentence will not alter the core message) that interviewee qualifies for a position not only because they have respectable grades in their degrees but it is due to the first impression. In my opinion, I believe that body language and gestures play a vital role in creating an influence over the interviewer.

To embark with, body language portrays how optimistic a person is if hired to work on the company’s role. This is because the proper eye contact and straight shoulders represents that a person carries the confidence and positive attitude towards his or her work. For example, in a survey conducted by a job portal website of UK got the highest votes from the human resources that they would prefer to hire an employee with a smart and visionary approach over the extra qualification or degrees. As a result, employers are willing to arrange additional training to the new joinees joiners to receive potential output from them.

Furthermore, an interviewee dressing style and etiquettes displays professionalism and suitability to present the company on a global platform. The reason for this is that these days the company have clients all over the world. Hence when an employee travels to the client office their behavioral presentation will either boost the business relationship or ruin company image irrespective of the fact from where and how many years the worker have has studied in the university. As a result, companyies has have to closely analyze the credibility of an employee before hiring.
In my opinion, your response is not answering the question asked. The question is, to what extent do you agree that performing well in an interview is key to secure a job?
Now the possibilities are, either you agree, partially agree or disagree.
if you agree to the hypothesis, then the reasons could be, because the competition is very high, companies are increasingly dependent on interview process than any other parameters and interview is often a last step to enter any organization (if someone fails to impress then they are out of he process).
partially agree, although performing well in an interview plays a major role, education qualifications are equally important
disagree (I am not comfortable with this possibilities, Hence you may find my ideas weak here), interview is just a process to understand one's achievements and education credentials, which are already are a part of the profiles shared with the organizations. So achievements matter more than impressions.

Your arguments body paragraphs are somewhat valid for a question like below.
First impression are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a job. To what extend do you agree? What according to you are important to impress an interviewer?

In conclusion, the notion first impression is the last impression holds true because the employer has a limited time to evaluate an employee (Do not bring in new ideas in conclusion, you have not discussed this idea anywhere in your body paragraphs) before hiring. So I assert that interviewee first impression on the employer either bolster him to grab the job opportunity or get rejected without considering his or her degree or skills.
 
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amritvirk88

Newbie
Aug 5, 2019
9
0
Dear @cansha @ieltsOnly please review my essay my exam on 28th Sept in writing my requirement 7 bands.

Nowadays a growing number of boys & girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia.

Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny?

What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?

These days more and more juveniles with prefect weight have phobia of gaining weight and are suffering from anorexia. It is happening mainly due to the impact of celebrities they follow and also because of the need to look more presentable as ever before.

Youth follows celebrities blindly, especially, film stars of Hollywood who have started the trend of skinny figure or zero-size figure. They try to resemble their appearance with these stars and thus have become crazy to maintain fat free body. Decades ago, only girls were conscious about their figure and looks, but now this consciousness can clearly be seen in boys as well. The other main reason is the need of looking more presentable in different professions. Nowadays every field wants to hire employees who are not only intelligent but who also look fit and smart as in most of the fields it has become the way of attracting more customers.

Becoming aware of health is certainly a good thing, but it has been seen in many cases that many youngsters are compromising with their health to look slim. They should realise that looking slim does not means that one is healthy also. So, they should be guided to take nutritious, food with low calories which will not risk their health and in this. famous people should become instructors of youth and parents should also guide them for good health.

To conclude, looking slim has become the trend of today’s youngsters, but they should also understand that they should also be healthy as well , and it is the responsibility of parents and their role models to guide them well.
 

Jasdeogan

Star Member
Oct 10, 2018
145
33
@cansha @ieltsOnly please review this essay band requirement is 6.5 or 6
Nowadays, the internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?


With proliferation of internet and access to television media, getting famous has now become easier than in the past. according to me, there is no doubt that media is beneficial in correct circumstances. however, inappropriate use of this platform will have adverse effects on society.


one of the main positive implications of this development is that it has provided a platform where talented and skilled people are able to demonstrate their skills to a wide range of audiences. In recent times, with the advancement of technology and unrestricted access to the internet has become easy for people to access information which is available Online. For example, a mathematics teacher can start a YouTube channel and record videos about important concepts. this will not only help the students who may be watching those videos, but also increase the popularity of the teacher. Therefore, this will have a positive impact on society.


however, for the sake of getting famous people tend to you misuse the media. broadcast fake news around information as a publicity stunt. for example, some people record videos on sensitive topics related to the community or religion and make it viral. moreover, it is very difficult to restrict the access to video or such information once it gets shared on social media. such sensitive information may adversely affect an individual or society. In the worst case it may lead to a civil war.


in conclusion, it is clear that easy access to the internet and television has both benefits and drawbacks to society. while it allows an ordinary person to become rich and famous, I believe that the content which is shared should be reviewed before being published.
 

ieltsOnly

Member
Sep 10, 2019
17
4
Dear @cansha @ieltsOnly please review my essay my exam on 28th Sept in writing my requirement 7 bands.

Nowadays a growing number of boys & girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia.

Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny?

What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?

These days more and more juveniles with prefect weight have a phobia of gaining weight and are suffering from anorexia. It is happening mainly due to the impact of celebrities they follow and also because of the need urge/desire to look more presentable as ever before. This can be tackled effectively when celebrities take part in educating youth about the importance of nutritious food.
Should have mentioned a glimpse of your proposed solutions as well in the intro.

Youth follows celebrities blindly, especially, film stars of Hollywood who have started the trend of skinny figure or zero-size figure. They try to resemble their appearance with these stars and thus have become crazy to maintain fat free body more conscious about weight gain. Decades few years ago, only girls were conscious about their figure and looks, but now this consciousness can clearly be seen in boys as well. The other main reason is the need of looking more presentable in different professions. Nowadays every field wants to hire employees who are not only intelligent but who also look fit and smart as in most of the fields it has become the way of attracting more customers (consider changing this reasoning) As some part of the society and few organizations are under the wrong impression that the skinny people are more presentable .
Overall ideas are good but need to maintain a smooth flow between the statements.

Becoming aware of health is certainly a good thing, but it has been seen in many cases that many youngsters are compromising with their health to look slim. They should realise that looking slim does not means that one is healthy also. So, they should be guided to take nutritious, food with low calories which will not risk their health and in this. famous people should become instructors of youth and parents should also guide them for good health.
In your second para, the topic sentence should tell the reader about your solutions. your topic sentence is not hitting the bullseye here. Besides, it is an underdeveloped para as it doesn't have any examples and strong reasonings.

To conclude, looking slim has become the trend of today’s youngsters, Young children aspire to look slimmer, predominantly due to the wrong precedence set by society and employers. Therefore, but they should also understand that they should also be healthy as well , the young generation should be encouraged to adopt nutritious food habits, preferably by their role models. and with and it is the responsibility of parents and their role models to guide them well.
Overall ideas are good. Need to work on the sentence flow.

@cansha, please highlight of there any further improvements.
 

amritvirk88

Newbie
Aug 5, 2019
9
0
@cansha @ieltsOnly please review this essay give me band?

In some developing countries, it is difficult to get good teachers to work in rural areas which can have a negative impact on the education of children in those rural communities.

Why do you think good teachers do not want to work in rural areas in developing countries?

What could be done to solve this problem?


Emergent nations are facing the scarcity of good educationists in countryside which can bring detrimental effects for the children of that areas. The main reasons for this trend are poor infrastructure and low wages and it can be improved by providing proper remunerations and improving facilities in rural areas.

The main consideration of any employee is salary and so with the teachers. There is a huge difference between the wages of rural and urban area teachers even if they have same qualification and equal workload. It discourages teachers to work in villages. The other main reason for their disinterest is poor infrastructure. Teachers have to travel long through poor transportation facilities where roads are not well developed. It wastes lots of their precious time which they can spend on their personal work. Moreover, the main necessity of today’s era is internet which is not available in rural areas. So, they feel themselves low standard as compare to their urban counterparts.

To overcome this issue, the governments should increase the salary of rural area teachers and should provide them proper renumerations along with the expenses of transportation. Other than this, infrastructure should be improved. The schools should be well ventilated and structured with the modern facilities of computers and internet connections. Moreover, there should be some recreational areas near the schools where teachers can relax after long working hours.

To reiterate, the dearth of good educators in rural areas of underdeveloped countries is mainly due to low salaries and poor infrastructure and government should improve wages and work on improving basic facilities to overcome this problem.
 

SolwayFirth

Full Member
Sep 4, 2019
49
67
Australia
I've been a silent follower of other threads on this site for a while now and started my Canada journey earlier this year. Recently I discovered this thread for IELTS test takers and frankly I wish I had found this thread when I was attempting my IELTS. Although I didn't find IELTS that difficult, I know that the writing section was challenging for me too. So I wanted to share a few links that helped me when I was taking it.

These links are the official marking criteria for the writing section and depending on your current level and targeted level of writing, you can see areas where you are lacking and require improvements.

https://takeielts.britishcouncil.org/sites/default/files/ielts_task_2_writing_band_descriptors.pdf

https://takeielts.britishcouncil.org/sites/default/files/ielts_task_1_writing_band_descriptors.pdf
 

satish shingari

Full Member
Apr 18, 2019
23
3
@cansha @ieltsOnly please review this essay give me band?
Task-2
"Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give example."

Nowadays many people prefer to have animals in their homes. One significant portion of society support the view that keeping pets at living place has many merits. However, some are of the view that co existence of both human beings and animals at home may have adverse effect on the society. According to my opinion, Keeping animals in the home may adversely effect the home environment keeping in view the issue of cleanliness and other issues involved therein.

On the one hand, it is argued by one segment of the community that pets, if kept at home, can ensure safety and security of the house even when no one is at home. According to a recent survey by Times of India reveals that crime rate can be greatly reduced if all families keep pet at home. Furthermore, t is also believed that pets can be good companion if you live alone at home for a while. Gradually they become a part of family and can identify outsiders easily resulting into low chances of theft at home. Hence, pets can act as safeguard to assets at home.

On the other hand, it is considered by another group of community that having pets at home can be very dangerous. For instance, if outsider come to meet someone in family and dog is kept open, one can get harm. Moreover, one has to face certain challenges in ensuring cleanliness at home since dog or other pets can spread unhygienic things at home. In addition, one has to incur additional expenses on feeding of pets which can put extra pressure on financial stability of the family. Biscuits and other items such as bones cost so much which a common man cannot afford easily. Hence, decision to have pets at home may have long run consequences.

To recapitulate, although keeping animals at home may ensure safety, however taking into account the risk of dirty environment, financial burden and chances of danger to others living nearby, one cannot favour this decision.



Task 1
You cannot go to a company where you got an offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor to
Explain the reason why you decline the offer
Express you gratitude
Explain you like your current job very much.

Dear sir,

I am writing this letter in connection with job offer given by your company. I want to let you know the cause of non acceptance, expressing my thankfulness and explaining my current profile.

I am working as chartered accountant in M/s ABC Associates which is a multinational concern. I had joined this company since the very first day of incorporation. I feel part and parcel of the organisation. I have reached the present position not only due to my dedication to work but also owing to its recognition by employer from time to time.

I really thank for your interest in my profile. I understand that joining such a reputed company will have an extra edge. However, I will definitely recommend your company to my friends who are looking for new opportunities.

I like my job for continuous research work. I am always interested to know something new. Hence, my profile suits my interest very well. I have helped the company in incorporating significant changes in work procedures in line with technological changes.

I hope that your organisation will find a wonderful candidate soon.

Thanking you,
Yours faithfully,

Satish Kumar
 

nthalork

Full Member
Aug 23, 2019
32
4
This time again I just got 6.5 in writing. Missed the desired band in the listening section too hence won't be going for revaluation. Planning to take it again in two week's time.

Kindly evaluate this piece of writing and suggest ways to improve this.

Childhood obesity is increasing at rapid rates in developed countries.
What are some of the causes of this problem? What are some ways in which childhood obesity rates can be reduced?

The children in developed nations are becoming obese at an accelerating rate. While processed food and lack of physical exercise are considered to be the main causes of this, higher taxation on fast food products and mandatory physical education in schools can ameliorate this situation.

One of the preponderant causes of fatness among young children is excessive consumption of fast food products. This is because these foods products are high in fats and calories than traditional food items, which makes them gain weight faster than other healthier food such as fruits and vegetables. For example, a regular burger contains almost double the fat and calories than a flat round bread of the same quantity. Another reason for this situation is a negligible amount of physical activities among youngsters. Physical activities are necessary to burn some calories, which help fatness and weight among these children. For instance, research by the Medical Council of Spain has discovered that regular morning walk can reduce the risk of childhood obesity by 50%.

One of the most effective methods to overcome this situation is levying a higher percentage of tax on junk food. As a result, these products will become an expensive and lesser number of juvenile will consume them, which will make them gain less fat and calories. Moreover, the introduction of compulsory physical health classes in school is another way to control obesity. A compulsory class will ensure that they do the exercises on a daily basis and understand the long term benefits of fitness. As a result, these fitness exercises will help them burn some fatness and become physically active.

To recapitulate, an increasing number of teenagers are becoming obese in developed nations. This is mainly because of unhealthy dieting habit and limited physical activities. This situation can easily be improved by making these food items expensive and introducing compulsory physical education in academies.
 
Last edited:

nthalork

Full Member
Aug 23, 2019
32
4
You work for an international company and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:

• explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months

• say how your work could be done while you are away

• ask for his/her help in arranging it

Dear Mathew,

I am writing to request your recommendation to 6 months deputation at our Head Office in Auckland, New Zealand from January to June next year.

Our head office has requested applications from interested candidates to work in our head office for a period of six months. I would like to take this opportunity to gain international exposure and work with the top leadership to hone my skills in finance and budgeting.

Andrew has agreed to look after my responsibilities in the meantime as his project has got delayed by 7 months. If you will still need my assistance, I will just be a call or email away.

I would be grateful if you could recommend my application for deputation to head office as you have already worked in the corporate office for quite a sometime and maintain cordial relation with the chief executive officer. I request you to put words for my application.

I look forward to receiving your favourable response.

Yours sincerely,

Nick Herald