I can't really predict scores. But should be good for a 6 i thinkbtw how much score i am likely to get with that type of essay
I can't really predict scores. But should be good for a 6 i thinkbtw how much score i am likely to get with that type of essay
@ieltsOnlyWith the advent of technology in every walk of our life, space exploration is no more exception. Due to the cutting-edge technology and scientific discoveries, mankind has a great opportunities to investigate boundless space. There are some critics (why are the critics supporting the motion?) who supports the idea of knowing more about universe and some argue with this view. (There are some who support the idea of knowing more about the universe and others who criticize this view.) In my opinion, I believe that good understanding of universe can help us to resolve the crucial problems of our home planet.
On one hand, space exploration helps in dealing with the concern of limited sustainable land due to increasing population and resource depletion. Searching new planets (which are suitable for people life and which are abundant in essential survival resources) is what modern space science is dealing with. For example, a recent discovery of NASA about the availability of water on planet moon has proved the possibility of human life on this planet. In addition to this, scientist may explore new form of life and living beings such as aliens which are considered to be beneficial for the mankind. That is why space research is worth continuing.
Multiple ideas introduced in a single paragraph. one is finding an alternate planet to handle resource scarcity and another one is research on aliens. the second idea is not completely developed. You should have focused on one idea which is completely developed.
Again there is no rule, however in my view, writing opposing side in 1st paragraph and supporting side in second body paragraph is more logical. You may disagree, it is purely my opinion.
On the other hand, some people think that funding astronomical research is futile. As these projects requires hefty investment which results in putting financial stress on government as well as on the people. For instance, the citizens of Somalia went under poverty due to the heavy investment by the government in cosmic projects. Furthermore (not the right word) Therefore, rather than finding new planets we (who is this pronoun referring to?) authorities/governments should invest in improving our healthcare and education which will bolster to make our planet a living heaven. All these reasons represents the darker side drawbacks of the space exploration.
The example is way too much of an imagination. Not sure if this is valid. Experts can comment on this.
In conclusion, space research provides significant knowledge to us about the universe. and Hence, I assert that we should allocate adequate funds such so that we can fulfill the basic necessities of mankind and at the same time we can continue with our research about the galaxies. (what basic necessities are you fulfilling with space research) Over all the conclusion is little confusing and not in sync with intro.
All the best
Your essay could be right but your topic sentence doesn't sound to me like a valid reason for ppl doing more shopping. The question is "Why is this the case". So, we need to write the reasons for ppl doing more shopping. then explain the reason or elaborate the reason.@ieltsOnly could u please enlighten me with ur knowledge ;p this is another essay i have written.
Shopping has become a new favourite for younger generation. why is this the case? should we encourage them to develop other hobbies too?
it is true that shopping is becoming increasingly popular among youngsters. modern marketing methods influence many customers to buy products and make them feeling of instant gratification. Majority of this can be attributed to the influence that modern marketing strategies have on youth and the urge to prove their superiority. I strongly believe that one should adopt other hobbies like sports or art to avoid unnecessary debts.
The main cause of this development is that brands invest large amounts of money to collect and analyse customers' data. These modern techniques enable companies to influence customers specifically. consequently, these advertisements encourage people to purchase goods more often. Moreover, people like to buy expensive products to display there class and standard of living to others. This gives them instant gratification. For example, Rolex wristwatches are way more expensive than other watches.Many people buy these goods to show their class they belong to in society.
@ieltsOnly
Furthermore , youngsters should be encouraged to learn or develop other hobbies such as sports or art.learning these hobbies will not only help youngsters to spend their leisure time effectively but also have them to . be financially stable, saving them from unnecessary credits. While sports can keep them physically and mentally fit, art can make them successful in life. in addition to this, youngsters can make these hobbies as their career which was not the case in shopping. For example, Virat Kohli, An Indian cricket team member, Loved to play cricket when he was young and when he grew up he decided to make this sport as his career. Now he is one of the most successful sports persons in the world..
In conclusion, I think, while the two major factors influencing the young generation to do more shopping are the marketing strategies and their urge for superiority, it can be controlled by adopting hobbies like sports arts.@ieltsOnly
In conclusion, I think people get influenced by marketing techniques and useless needs, other skills apart from shopping can be developed to avoid the unnecessary debts and effectively utilise leisure time.
i think you have good control on vocabulary apart from sentence structures.Your essay could be right but your topic sentence doesn't sound to me like a valid reason for ppl doing more shopping. The question is "Why is this the case". So, we need to write the reasons for ppl doing more shopping. then explain the reason or elaborate the reason.
Revised 1st para:
There are two prominent justifications for the said behavior of young people. Firstly, the attractive marketing techniques that the companies adopt are extremely influential among the targeted audience. In this case, the younger generations are being lured by various advertisements and instant-offers to purchase their products. For instance, Amazon, the largest online market place in India, spent 1 Billion Indian rupees on their marketing strategies. Secondly, people often enjoy the feeling of being superior to others and they try to achieve this by buying some really expensive products and freshly arrived gadgets. Some of them even borrow money from others to buy these products finally to end in serious debt.
Therefore, youngsters should be encouraged to learn or develop other hobbies such as sports or arts. While sports can keep them physically and mentally fit, arts can make them successful in life. Unlike shopping, they can choose a career from these hobbies and can eventually achieve financial stability. For example, Virat Kohli, An Indian cricket team member, Love playing cricket when he was young, now he is a renowned cricket player in the world. So, developing hobbies other than shopping is proven to be a great idea.
In conclusion, I think, while the two major factors influencing the young generation to do more shopping are the marketing strategies and their urge for superiority, it can be controlled by adopting hobbies like sports arts.
By the way, this is how I would approach. Let's wait for @cansha to comment more on this.
In my view, your ideas are good but missing on the smooth flow from sentence to sentence and one paragraph to the other. For example, in your second paragraph, I hardly changed anything except the order of sentences and removal of one sentence.
Let me know your thoughts.
In my opinion, your response is not answering the question asked. The question is, to what extent do you agree that performing well in an interview is key to secure a job?@ieltsOnly ..Can you also please provide your feedback on essay:
Topic:
First impression are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a job. To what extend do you agree?
Essay:
In this era of bottleneck competition, corporate industries are hiring multitalented professionals who can represent them globally. It is considered by a certain group of people many(in question it says some people think. Make sure your paraphrasing of sentence will not alter the core message) that interviewee qualifies for a position not only because they have respectable grades in their degrees but it is due to the first impression. In my opinion, I believe that body language and gestures play a vital role in creating an influence over the interviewer.
To embark with, body language portrays how optimistic a person is if hired to work on the company’s role. This is because the proper eye contact and straight shoulders represents that a person carries the confidence and positive attitude towards his or her work. For example, in a survey conducted by a job portal website of UK got the highest votes from the human resources that they would prefer to hire an employee with a smart and visionary approach over the extra qualification or degrees. As a result, employers are willing to arrange additional training to the new joinees joiners to receive potential output from them.
Furthermore, an interviewee dressing style and etiquettes displays professionalism and suitability to present the company on a global platform. The reason for this is that these days the company have clients all over the world. Hence when an employee travels to the client office their behavioral presentation will either boost the business relationship or ruin company image irrespective of the fact from where and how many years the worker have has studied in the university. As a result, companyies has have to closely analyze the credibility of an employee before hiring.
In conclusion, the notion first impression is the last impression holds true because the employer has a limited time to evaluate an employee (Do not bring in new ideas in conclusion, you have not discussed this idea anywhere in your body paragraphs) before hiring. So I assert that interviewee first impression on the employer either bolster him to grab the job opportunity or get rejected without considering his or her degree or skills.
Should have mentioned a glimpse of your proposed solutions as well in the intro.Dear @cansha @ieltsOnly please review my essay my exam on 28th Sept in writing my requirement 7 bands.
Nowadays a growing number of boys & girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia.
Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny?
What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?
These days more and more juveniles with prefect weight have a phobia of gaining weight and are suffering from anorexia. It is happening mainly due to the impact of celebrities they follow and also because of the need urge/desire to look more presentable as ever before. This can be tackled effectively when celebrities take part in educating youth about the importance of nutritious food.
Overall ideas are good but need to maintain a smooth flow between the statements.Youth follows celebrities blindly, especially, film stars of Hollywood who have started the trend of skinny figure or zero-size figure. They try to resemble their appearance with these stars and thus have become crazy to maintain fat free body more conscious about weight gain. Decades few years ago, only girls were conscious about their figure and looks, but now this consciousness can clearly be seen in boys as well. The other main reason is the need of looking more presentable in different professions. Nowadays every field wants to hire employees who are not only intelligent but who also look fit and smart as in most of the fields it has become the way of attracting more customers (consider changing this reasoning) As some part of the society and few organizations are under the wrong impression that the skinny people are more presentable .
In your second para, the topic sentence should tell the reader about your solutions. your topic sentence is not hitting the bullseye here. Besides, it is an underdeveloped para as it doesn't have any examples and strong reasonings.Becoming aware of health is certainly a good thing, but it has been seen in many cases that many youngsters are compromising with their health to look slim. They should realise that looking slim does not means that one is healthy also. So, they should be guided to take nutritious, food with low calories which will not risk their health and in this. famous people should become instructors of youth and parents should also guide them for good health.
Overall ideas are good. Need to work on the sentence flow.To conclude, looking slim has become the trend of today’s youngsters, Young children aspire to look slimmer, predominantly due to the wrong precedence set by society and employers. Therefore, but they should also understand that they should also be healthy as well , the young generation should be encouraged to adopt nutritious food habits, preferably by their role models. and with and it is the responsibility of parents and their role models to guide them well.