hi

[Mariam1985]

Hi all,

 

[scylla]

Re: I sponsored my husband because of pressure from my family in Canada

You can certainly cancel his application and I would encourage you to do so if this isn't someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

If you cancel the application, he will be notified of your decision. There's nothing you can do to stop this. And no - you cannot ask CIC to reject his application on the grounds of security or something similar. CIC cannot take responsibility for something that is your decision.

Good luck. It sounds like you have a tough decision ahead of you.

 

[Mariam1985]

Re: I sponsored my husband because of pressure from my family in Canada

My life is so messed up now. I don't want to live with that guy.
Please show me the way

 

[TSauretBaxter]

Re: I sponsored my husband because of pressure from my family in Canada

My life is so messed up now. I don't want to live with that guy.
Please show me the way

I think you know what you need to do. You can't expect CIC to do it for you. You need to decide if you want to risk your parents disapproval or bring your husband to Canada. I won't begin to try and understand a life where parents forcing their child in to an arranged marriage is acceptable. When did you apply? What office does it go through? The only positive thing i can offer is that it could be a while yet before he gets his PR, and there is no guarentee he will. I thought CIC frowned upon arranged marraiages. And they would reject him if they don't believe your marriage is genuine. Which is obviously isn't. What proof of your relationship did you send with your application to prove your marraiage is genuine? What did you answer when asked if it was an arranged marriage?

 

[computergeek]

Re: I sponsored my husband because of pressure from my family in Canada

My life is so messed up now. I don't want to live with that guy.
Please show me the way

Sadly, I have seen this a number of times and the way forward while simple will mean that you must choose whether you wish to be happy or miserable and realize that each decision will have side-effects for it.

If you choose to do nothing, then eventually you will have a decision from CIC regarding the application. If that decision is to allow the sponsorship, he will come to Canada and you will need to deal with a relationship with a man to whom you do not wish to be married at the present time. Perhaps you will learn to accept this for the sake of your mother's happiness, but it may also make you miserable. Even if your marriage breaks down and you divorce him, you are legally obligated to support him for three years.

If you choose to withdraw your sponsorship, he will not be allowed to come to Canada. You can seek a divorce or annullment in Canada, although I would suggest you speak with an attorney, especially if you were married outside Canada. This will make your mother unhappy, but it will allow you to live your life the way that you want.

I understand you do not wish to disappoint your mother, but you need to decide if your own misery is too high a price to pay to make your mother temporarily happy.

I'd also suggest looking beyond the immediate issue. Suppose he does come to Canada and makes your life miserable. How will your mother react to that? She might feel sad or guilty because of the high price that you have paid to acquiesce to her demands. I would suggest speaking with her. If she does not wish to listen, try to find a neutral party (a doctor, therapist, religious leader, etc) to assist you in communicating with your mother - find out WHY she wants this for you. In that way, perhaps you can find some resolution to the issue that doesn't leave you miserable.

I've been on the opposite side of this - my own spouse's mother does not approve of me. My spouse's mother said to divorce me and move home (Taiwan) to take care of her. This creates quite a bit of emotional turmoil and is very difficult for everyone. I don't believe in forcing anyone to do something that bears so high a price and one of the most difficult things I ever had to do was say that I would live with my spouse's decision, even if it were to leave me. For me, trying to emotionally manipulate someone else into doing what I want is fundamentally wrong.

I hope you find a solution that makes you happy.

 

[RCVmini]

Re: I sponsored my husband because of pressure from my family in Canada

You might email your VO and tell them some of these comments, I am sure that it would affect their decision to approve or not approve the sponsorship.

Keep in mind IF he is approved you are RESPONSABLE for him when he comes to Canada so if he can't read or write and has a hard time finding work (unless he is rich) you will be the person supporting him.



More importantly it is YOU how has to make a choice. Do you follow what your parents say and carry on with this OR do you go and live your life on your terms.

Remeber many of us here have different cultural backgrounds (mine is Asian) but we are all EQUAL in Canada with freedoms and responsabilities so choose.... choose how you want to live your life.

In Canada NO ONE can FORCE you to marry someone and FORCE you to sponsor someone you don't want to.

You just have to find it in yourself to do it.