Has the CIC ever contacted anyone's parents?

[Perfect]

That means that if you say it, they can check it subject to the law. For example, you say you've never declared bankruptcy, they have the legal right to check that out because it is governed by an Act of Parliament (the law).

Immigration also works on the premise of "benefit". If you say something to gain "benefit" (meaning approval of an application) they can check it out. So in the previous example given, it would be to your "benefit" to say that your parents approved of your marriage because it is an indicator toward genuineness. To say your parents don't approve of the marriage does not produce benefit which is not a bad thing if you practice full disclosure and tell your story.

Their intent is not to hurt you or destroy your family. If you say something in your application, they have the right to check it out. If they suspect or are concerned about something, they have the right to question you about it or verify it through other legal means. But some common sense applies here. If you say your parents don't know about your marriage, CIC is not going to call your folks and say, "We just want to verify that you don't know about your daughter's marriage." They are then breaching your confidentiality causing a negative effect on you and setting themselves up for legal action against them. They can't/won't do that. They would question you and your spouse about that if they felt they needed to.

Posted by: Perfect
Insert Quote
It is not a requirement so I would definitely use the `ask not say not`principle. Dont mention them on your application for example, where they ask for names of people who have met your spouse and are aware of the relationship..dont put them..put other people! In that case, you can wait for them to ask , if at all, and they will have no right to call them esp if they are not even listed as references on the application. I wouldnt raise red flags for myself by giving to much info...unless of course they ask about it. Cumon, we are all adults and are capable of making our own choices. There are so many dysfunctional families out there..dont you think they know that?


I disagree. Did you miss the questions on the application forms asking whether or not your family knows about your relationship with the big box available to answer why NOT? "Not applicable" won't work here unless you are an orphan. Even then you would explain that you have no family. Full disclosure at the beginning is the best way of circumventing the red flags. NOT mentioning your family at all would definitely raise a red flag with a VO.

It does not say do your parents know about your relationship, it says Was your relationship known to your close friends and family...she could say Yes, because most likely her friends and close family have met her spouse..then it goes on to ask the applicant to name the close friends and family the spouse has met, in this case she lists those her partner has met i.e grandmother. Im yet to find which part of the application 'asks has your partner met your mother and father, if not why?' Its not specific..so why answer a question that has not been asked???? It will most likely haunt you, let them ask you if they are interested in that...that's just my opinion and I may be very wrong. So its not like shes withholding information..she wont be charged with misrepresentation or anything. I think the letter will only raise suspicion, it wont help your case. Unless o fcourse they ask you in an interview or something...on the flip side, if your spouse has not met any of your close friends and family then the letter will serve the purpose of explaining why! Hope Im making sense.

 

[rjessome]

It does not say do your parents know about your relationship, it says Was your relationship known to your close friends and family...she could say Yes, because most likely her friends and close family have met her spouse..then it goes on to ask the applicant to name the close friends and family the spouse has met, in this case she lists those her partner has met i.e grandmother. Im yet to find which part of the application 'asks has your partner met your mother and father, if not why?' Its not specific..so why answer a question that has not been asked???? It will most likely haunt you, let them ask you if they are interested in that...that's just my opinion and I may be very wrong. So its not like shes withholding information..she wont be charged with misrepresentation or anything. I think the letter will only raise suspicion, it wont help your case. Unless o fcourse they ask you in an interview or something...on the flip side, if your spouse has not met any of your close friends and family then the letter will serve the purpose of explaining why! Hope Im making sense.

Why would the letter raise suspician? Of what?

IMHO and experience, avoidance only leads to trouble. CIC views your parents as your CLOSEST family relationship, other than your own children. That doesn't mean your parents have to know about your relationship in order to be approved as a genuine couple. But it is NOT the norm for parents to be unaware of what's happening with their children, especially in the case of a marriage. Read OP Manual 2, Section 5.24 - Assessing Conjugal Relationships for the guideline CIC uses to assess genuineness. And before people start saying this is "spousal" not "conjugal", in immigration law, ALL genuine marriages are conjugal relationships.

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/op/op02-eng.pdf

Again, just my opinion but dealing with this at the outset of the application is the better move. You seriously don't think a VO would ask why there is no mention of the parents? The VO that assessed my husbands application had plenty of questions and issues about our parents, even though both sets knew about and approved of our relationship. Explaining certain circumstances upfront would have avoided these questions and perhaps even prevented an interview in our case.

Section 40(1) of the IRPA specifically states that:
“A permanent resident or a foreign national is inadmissible for misrepresentation
(a) for directly or indirectly misrepresenting or withholding material facts relating to a relevant matter that induces or could induce an error in the administration of this Act;

I agree that non-disclosure would probably NOT result in misrepresentation in this case but a VO wouldn't take kindly to "witholding" of information if it came out. Why take the risk?

 

[ambar]

Just answer what they ask of you. If you know your parents do not approve, it's not a big deal, I'm sure CIC has seen cases of this in the past. Just state which family members your husband has met and which ones he hasn't.
I'm just assuming he has met your close friends and members of your family? Just write down the names of the ones he has met and their relation to you like they ask. I never included my parents on the form because my husband had not met them at the time in person, and I wrote why honestly. They did not hold anything against us. So don't worry.

From my own experience, my husband didn't even meet my parents until after we got married, simply because we met abroad and got married abroad. Only his side made it to our wedding and I stated that we were planning a party in Canada if all went well with his PR application. They never questioned us about it or requested any interview. So don't stress on it too much! Explain what they ask of you as honestly as you can. In my opinion there's no need to write a letter saying "don't call my parents" because they almost never disclose your personal information to a third party.

 

[rjessome]

Let me clarify something. I don't think she should write a letter saying "don't call my parents." I do think she should disclose that her parents are unaware of her marriage and why. I see now that I might not have been clear about that. :

 

[waitingintz]

I think there have been a lot of good suggestions... just one thing to add is I've heard that it's important to submit particularly good statements from the side of the Canadian sponsor because the feeling is that if there were doubts about the genuinness (is that a word?) of the relationship it would more likely come from the Canadian's side. Obviously this is more relevant when the applicant is from a country of lesser wealth and benefits but I think it does make sense that they will look at the Canadian's family/friends particularly for proof of genuine relationship.

Anyway, point being that if you can submit statements from your parents, just make sure you include lots of extra statements from other people from the sponsor's side. I'm sure as long as there is no reason to doubt the relationship they won't have an issue accepting your explanation for why your parents aren't involved.

Good luck

 

[canadianwoman]

To what degree I should emphasize "Do not contact them"?

a)If I explain my situation and make an explicit request not to make contact, would that still raise red flags and endanger my chances of getting PR?

b)If I explain my situation but do NOT ask, would my privacy still be respected?

I suggest option 'b'. Explain the situation; CIC almost never contacts people, and will see that contacting in this case would be cruel. But if you specifically ask them not to contact your parents, I am afraid the visa officer will be suspicious, and will then contact them.

 

[sandwish]

So many great replies! Before I begin, I'd like to thank all you guys for helping me out ;D It is heart-warming to see all the advice and support given here. It's been rather harrowing for both my spouse and I because we are living in a foreign land and don't have much in the way of emotional/social support. So a huge THANK YOU to all of you :-*, it has contributed to a better application package and hopefully will increase our chances! I am so grateful to have this forum to post my questions and am always appreciative of the time and effort you guys put into answering my (sometimes neurotic) questions!
[/gush]

Let me clarify something. I don't think she should write a letter saying "don't call my parents." I do think she should disclose that her parents are unaware of her marriage and why. I see now that I might not have been clear about that. :

rjessome, reading ya loud and clear. If I say that one of the reasons I haven't told my parents is because of my mother's mental state, would I then have to provide evidence of it?

That would be problematic because firstly my mother refuses to seek help, so there is no official diagnosis. As well I have no means of obtaining such proof because they are now in Canada. I have a few emails from my dad referencing it, but nothing explicitly stating my mother isn't in her right mind.

I do understand the CIC will try their best to exercise good judgment but still worry that common sense will be lost in the face of bureaucracy, as it sometimes does!

It is not a requirement so I would definitely use the `ask not say not`principle.

Although I will provide full disclosure, it's good strategy to downplay the parent thing as much as possible and emphasize other evidences from friends and so forth. It's just such a big thing in my head because it feels so taboo to defy the parents! Thanks for bringing in another perspective to the table.

I think there have been a lot of good suggestions... just one thing to add is I've heard that it's important to submit particularly good statements from the side of the Canadian sponsor because the feeling is that if there were doubts about the genuinness (is that a word?) of the relationship it would more likely come from the Canadian's side. Obviously this is more relevant when the applicant is from a country of lesser wealth and benefits but I think it does make sense that they will look at the Canadian's family/friends particularly for proof of genuine relationship.

Anyway, point being that if you can submit statements from your parents, just make sure you include lots of extra statements from other people from the sponsor's side. I'm sure as long as there is no reason to doubt the relationship they won't have an issue accepting your explanation for why your parents aren't involved.

Good luck

We may be kind of stuck here. My spouse and I met in Japan and then moved to Europe in order to be together after his visa expired. So none of my Canadian friends have met him except one who visited us once in Japan. We have fought so hard to be together that we just want to enjoy being in each others' company, so don't know many people here either ???

I got my friend to write an email stating that he knows about the relationship with his contact details, but am now considering asking him to write a sworn statement instead, and couriering it to me. Would that make a difference?

My spouse and I also went to school together in Japan, so am asking the administrator (a friendly lady) to write an email with her contact details. And our old rental company as well. There may also be a few old coworkers. None of these are exactly "friends" but it'll have to do. Still, it is a paltry selection. How badly would that reflect upon us?



Finally, from the sound advice of this thread, I won't include a request to not contact the parents. But am now thinking of including a cover letter with the Sponsor Questionnaire (IMM 5540) explaining my unique family situation. Would that be going over the top and drawing too much attention? Should I just slip in tidbits of my family history in form instead, hoping they'll get the big picture?


So many questions... Thanks you guys for helping!

 

[sandwish]

I suggest option 'b'. Explain the situation; CIC almost never contacts people, and will see that contacting in this case would be cruel. But if you specifically ask them not to contact your parents, I am afraid the visa officer will be suspicious, and will then contact them.

Yes, that makes good sense. I have decided not to include a request now. Thank you canadianwoman!

 

[canadianwoman]

An affidavit is considered better evidence than just a letter or an email. So I'd try to get an affidavit from the one friend of yours who has met your spouse. The others you mentioned can be emails or letters.

 

[Janadian]

"I got my friend to write an email stating that he knows about the relationship with his contact details, but am now considering asking him to write a sworn statement instead, and couriering it to me. Would that make a difference?"

If you are getting letters from friends , it may be best to have them typed, original, signed in pen by the writer and accompanied by some form of id copied to the letter. (ie drivers licence)

 

[waitingintz]

I definitely think a sworn document will be given more weight than an email. Also, don't just think of people who have met your partner... you can also get statements from people who know you very well and who you've spoken to about the situation. Are there any family members/close friends in Canada that you've been communicating with about the relationship? I wrote a statement for a friend of mine who was sponsoring her husband and I hadn't met him but I'd heard about him from the early dating onwards and could speak to how excited and happy she sounded about it and how I could tell this was something serious from early on, etc, etc.

The other thing I would suggest is don't ask the IO not to contact your family but maybe request that it be done in a delicate manner with consideration of the situation. My current employers do not know that I am leaving yet (because obviously it could take a year!) so I just included a note saying that they are not aware that I am leaving so to please be considerate of that if contacting them for any reason. I think that clearly lets them know of the issue without actually raising any red flags.

 

[sandwish]

Awesome suggestions you guys!

I have included a note that goes along the lines of what waitingintz suggested.

Also, I have asked my friends to provide signed letters of support.

Thanks so much everyone!