Getting a divorce. Question

[Audjgal]

I honestly don't know the reason why a person would write the way you do. Are you that lazy that you can't be bothered to spell properly? Are you 15 years old by any chance?

everythn - just two letters missing here, you couldn't be bothered to include them?
goin - one g at the end, and everything would've been fine.

...and the list can go on.

I'm sorry, but to me this shows disrespect for all the readers of this forum and especially for the OP.

For your sake, I hope you didn't write in this manner in your PR application. And if you did write correctly there, then why would you not write the same on here? Are the readers of this forum less important?

I guessed accurately the person with bad spelling/grammar was from India. Just a note though that from frequent travels there, that is the exact way that a lot of people there speak and write English in a casual setting or via texts. A lot of people write exactly how they would speak, if you get what I mean. It extremely 'normal' for him/her to be writing like that fro their own perspective. Granted, we find it hard to read and I do think people should put effort in to grammar and spelling but I really don't think they intended disrespect.

 

[Abrassain]

How is a medical condition considered abuse...look up bi-polar

Imagine you develop it..there is no cure it can be controlled somewhat, You end up giving your spouse a hard time because of it. Not always as it shifts your moods from time to time, Sometimes your ok and sometimes your attitude is not good. Your spouse is getting fed up and wants a divorce and that is the only reason sited for the separation, Is it fair to you? something that is not really in your control. Would you not like your spouse to stand by you and work through it even tho its very difficult to deal with. Through sickness and health right..

Just my opinion

Chris

I am very familiar with mood and personality disorders. I am not arguing against the notion of together through sickness and health but there is something to be said about a person who refuses to get help and instead uses their loved ones like a punching bag. I don't think he is a bad person to consider separation or divorce. If we are talking about putting ourselves in someone else's place, perhaps we should consider how bad things must be for him to think about leaving her. It's not an easy decision, especially when you marry someone with the intent to spend your life with them, but we all have the right to enjoy said life and be treated with love, kindness, and respect.

 

[Koifish76]

I am very familiar with mood and personality disorders. I am not arguing against the notion of together through sickness and health but there is something to be said about a person who refuses to get help and instead uses their loved ones like a punching bag. I don't think he is a bad person to consider separation or divorce. If we are talking about putting ourselves in someone else's place, perhaps we should consider how bad things must be for him to think about leaving her. It's not an easy decision, especially when you marry someone with the intent to spend your life with them, but we all have the right to enjoy said life and be treated with love, kindness, and respect.

I agree. At some point, the abuse becomes too much. There is no need to bring future children into a family where one is unwilling to get help and the other is at the end of his rope.

 

[Christoph100]

I agree. At some point, the abuse becomes too much. There is no need to bring future children into a family where one is unwilling to get help and the other is at the end of his rope.

I agree on this and it can only work as long as both spouses are willing to get the help that is needed.

 

[CMLR]

I very much feel for OP. Verbal and physical abuse by a loved one is hard, very hard, to live with. However I would encourage them to not end their marriage over it, at least not this soon. What if it were not a spouse but a child of their's that had this disorder? I have a son who is now in their mid 20's who took me through everything you can imagine due to his Bipolar and ADHD. His father, my first husband was verbally abusive to all 4 kids and myself for years and yes there was some physical abuse as well. However I did not divorce him I actually asked for a separation in order for him to get help, he was court ordered to go into a batters treatment program, which he chose not to do and he chose to make the separation into a divorce. My son did not want to take his meds and I had to force him and watch him and make sure he swallowed them I also had to force him to go to counseling so I know how hard it can be to get people to do something that helps them. Yes this was a child of mine but a teen who was bigger than me when I was dealing with the issues as a single parent. Today, although my son tends to change jobs frequently he has landed on his feet. He owns a home even though his older siblings have yet to even move out on their own without support of another person none of the 3 are married. I say this because there is still hope for OP wife to get better and to have a bright future with her. OP, for your sake and the sake of your marriage I would say consider your options before you do something that would affect both your lives forever. Good luck and God Bless you in your choices.

 

[MadeInCanada]

Perhaps the answer to one of the questions in the original post got lost somewhere along the way, I skipped most of the comments that did not seem to to be relevant.

Regardless of that, you cannot file for a divorce in Canada unless separated for 1 year (or (I believe, correct me if I am wrong) both parties are willing from the get go). If the OP wants to sell everything and leave they have nothing holding them here. If they want to wait it out and see if CIC notices/finds out then I guess they can take that route as well.

If you go back then you will have to find out the laws concerning divorce in your home country. But by all means do not feel pressured to remain in a relationship that you are not feeling safe in. The only draw back would be that it may take more time.

Take Care,
MadeInCanada

 

[steerpike]

I plan on going to city hall today to file for a divorce, because she says that's what she wants then she changes her mind then back again etc. I can't stay here because you have to be married for 2 years. But when I do file for this divorce. I'd like to sell off everything and try to get my 10 months prepaid for my place already. How much time do I have before I got to pack up and leave Canada?

You can stay as long as you want. You have a PR and its actually very unlikely CIC will revoke that. The have the right to, but so far as faras we know, they have never revoked a PR that was under cond 51.

As far as your rent goes you should be able to get the money back minus a penalty for breaking the lease. Check the paperwork you signed when you got the lease.

In future, a better way to "pay in advance" is to give the l;andlord 12 post-dated cheques for the full year. Then you can cancel them if you ever do indeed move out.

I'm sorry about your wife, but you are making the right choice. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Good luck next time.