Divorce after Landing...

[Ponga]

I thought the OP has not landed yet and was asking a hypothetical question

If the OP has not yet landed, there's a very good chance that her sponsor will `pull the plug', as he would have to agree that he is still willing to sponsor.

Right?!?! Doesn't the sponsor have the last word as to whether or not s/he wants to sponsor at the landing interview?

 

[keesio]

If the OP has not yet landed, there's a very good chance that her sponsor will `pull the plug', as he would have to agree that he is still willing to sponsor.

Right?!?! Doesn't the sponsor have the last word as to whether or not s/he wants to sponsor at the landing interview?

If it is an outland application, the sponsor does not need to be present during landing.

 

[Ponga]

If it is an outland application, the sponsor does not need to be present during landing.

True...which seems a little odd, since marriages can deteriorate outside of Canada as well.

 

[Rob_TO]

True...which seems a little odd, since marriages can deteriorate outside of Canada as well.

A sponsor can attempt to cancel their undertaking/sponsorship anytime up until the applicant actually lands. Even if a visa and COPR have been issued, if the sponsor contacts CIC/CBSA in time, then they may deny the applicant when they try to land.

Anyways until the OP confirms if they have landed yet, and if they have conditional PR or not... nobody can really advise yet.

 

[Me2013]

Thanks everyone for all the help.

I have landed on October, 2013. I sent my application after Oct 25, 2012, so I do have the "Condition 51".
As someone said, it's sad that marriages don't work these days. I'm the old fashion kind, that believes in fixing problems and not just leaving the person.
We have been in a relationship for 3,5 years, been 1 year apart because of the whole immigration process. Once I got back here in Canada, he was just a completely different person. I don't suffer any kind of physical abuse, but there are some kind of abuse that are worst than physical. I'm not neglected neither food nor housing, but all the things a husband is suppose to give, such as love and affection.
He keeps telling me to leave and if I don't do things exactly the way he wants to, he threatens me to call the police or immigration to remove me from the house. He has already sent an e-mail to CIC, but got no reply so far.
I know I can't go on welfare or anything like that. Again, I do love this person and I don't want to F**C him over. I don't want his money, but his love and I am proudly very capable of working (as I already am) and making my own money.
I'm a happy person, but I'm afraid of getting damaged by all of this.
There are days that everything is fine, but I feel like always stepping on egg shells, not knowing when he's going to snap.

I'm sorry for all of that, but thanks for listening and trying to help.

 

[zardoz]

In truth, there is little that we can say that is encouraging. You are vulnerable to the implementation of the new legislation.
If, in fact, CIC has been informed of the change in the relationship, all you can do is wait and see what happens.

I'm really sorry...

 

[SenoritaBella]

So sorry things aren't going well as you hoped. What you describe is emotional and psycological abuse. Consider documenting everything that he does to you (if you haven't already).
Note: Eventhough sex is part of a marriage, your spouse should not force you to have sex or threaten you with deportation(or police) for refusing to have sex or force themselves on you(i.e rape). If this is happening(or has happened) to you, also report it.

See this: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/department/media/backgrounders/2012/2012-10-26a.asp
Exception in cases of abuse or neglect

Given concerns about the vulnerability of spouses in abusive relationships, the proposed condition would cease to apply in instances where there is evidence of abuse (that is, physical, sexual, psychological or financial) or neglect (failure to provide the necessaries of life).

For additional information on the exception available to a sponsored spouse who may be suffering abuse or neglect, please see the attached Backgrounder. http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/department/media/backgrounders/2012/2012-10-26b.asp

Exception for abuse or neglect

The conditional measure would cease to apply in instances where there is evidence of abuse or neglect by the sponsor, or of a failure to protect from abuse or neglect by a person related to the sponsor, whether that person is habitually residing in the household or not during the conditional period.

How to request an exception from the application of the condition

Sponsored persons who are subject to the condition may request an exception from the condition at any time during the two-year conditional period, or they may request an exception at the time of an investigation. They can do so by calling the CIC Call Centre at 1-888-242-2100.

Thanks everyone for all the help.

I have landed on October, 2013. I sent my application after Oct 25, 2012, so I do have the "Condition 51".
As someone said, it's sad that marriages don't work these days. I'm the old fashion kind, that believes in fixing problems and not just leaving the person.
We have been in a relationship for 3,5 years, been 1 year apart because of the whole immigration process. Once I got back here in Canada, he was just a completely different person. I don't suffer any kind of physical abuse, but there are some kind of abuse that are worst than physical. I'm not neglected neither food nor housing, but all the things a husband is suppose to give, such as love and affection.
He keeps telling me to leave and if I don't do things exactly the way he wants to, he threatens me to call the police or immigration to remove me from the house. He has already sent an e-mail to CIC, but got no reply so far.
I'm a happy person, but I'm afraid of getting damaged by all of this.
There are days that everything is fine, but I feel like always stepping on egg shells, not knowing when he's going to snap.

I'm sorry for all of that, but thanks for listening and trying to help.

 

[Me2013]

Thank you.

How could I document that? Recordings once he starts to scream?

 

[SenoritaBella]

You are welcome. If you can get recordings(without him noticing), you could do that. Or you can keep a journal(make sure you hide it well) where you write down things he does with dates, time, etc. More importantly, you should also consider making a formal report(complaint) either to police(especially if you fear for your life) or to a women's advocacy group(you can search online for one in your city).

The police also have a non-emergency line which you can call and report incidents. They will be able to guide you and suggest resources to help you. This is different from 911. Also, when you see your doctor for check ups, you can tell them too. Your doctor will probably refer you for counselling which can only help you begin to heal and will be good evidence.

Where he is screaming, he is likely to escalate and become physicial at some point(if he hasn't already). So take care and see help before it becomes much worse.

Thank you.

How could I document that? Recordings once he starts to scream?

 

[Alurra71]

You are welcome. If you can get recordings(without him noticing), you could do that. Or you can keep a journal(make sure you hide it well) where you write down things he does with dates, time, etc. More importantly, you should also consider making a formal report(complaint) either to police(especially if you fear for your life) or to a women's advocacy group(you can search online for one in your city).

The police also have a non-emergency line which you can call and report incidents. They will be able to guide you and suggest resources to help you. This is different from 911. Also, when you see your doctor for check ups, you can tell them too. Your doctor will probably refer you for counselling which can only help you begin to heal and will be good evidence.

Where he is screaming, he is likely to escalate and become physicial at some point(if he hasn't already). So take care and see help before it becomes much worse.

While this is all sound advice on how the OP should/can proceed to try and help alleviate some of her own stress to imply that once he raises his voice it is only a matter of time before he begins to hit her I feel might be stepping a bit out of bounds. I know a lot of folks that are loud and obnoxious when stressed and/or angry but would never lay their hands on another person to harm them.

To the OP. The entire immigration process is long and tiring to say the least. You say he has changed and is not the same person he was when you married. I think if you take a peek from his side he may also feel the same about you. Separation between any couple for any length of time is supposed to help build a bond, however I find most times it actually puts a chink in the 'armor' wall you had previously built. Small habits that he has always had, as well as ones you have always had may now be quite overwhelming because of the absence. If you and your husband have not already split, and it sounds like you have not, perhaps you two can find a neutral ground to talk things out and find out if your marriage can be saved. You guys married one another for your own set of reasons, those reasons are still there you just might need help to wipe away the dust that accumulated so you can see one another for what you are.

I wish you the very best of luck.

 

[SenoritaBella]

Well, it might sound "out of bounds" but speak to any person who has ever suffered domestic violence and they will tell you the physical part comes eventually after isolation, the verbal, emotional and psychological abuse. Abusers(key word) always escalate and there are statistics to back it up.

Are those people you know abusers? Do they exhibit the same behaviors as the OP's spouse? Are their spouses walking on egg shells? If they are, then you may have a point. Otherwise, I'm afraid you are comparing apples to oranges. Besides you don't know for sure he won't hit her, or do you?

 

[J.M.]

Definitely reach out to the resources in your area for help and support, especially if he is trying to reach out to the CIC. If it gets to the point that CIC does investigate, you don't want it to be just your word against his and you also want get support regardless in case your relationship is actually salvageable. A women's advocacy group can definitely be a good place to start as they will be able to get you in touch with whomever you might need.

I'm not qualified to say whether you are or are not being abused/neglected in some sort of fashion, but if you suspect that you are, the worst thing you can do for yourself is to remain silent and do nothing. Best wishes to you on this matter.

 

[keesio]

Besides you don't know for sure he won't hit her, or do you?

I'm not there so I can't even try to judge. But at the same time we shouldn't judge the OP's spouse and insinuate he fits the profile of someone who will eventually assault his wife. That is a pretty nasty assumption. We don't have all the facts here.

 

[SenoritaBella]

Well I did go and check the OP's post(based on your comment, prior to you editing it) and found this(below). Apparently, she was in an abusive relationship. Again, by statistics people who have been in one such relationship before are more likely to find themselves in a similar situation.

Anyway, I am aware of more information(which I won't disclose here) and it does nothing to reduce concerns about the potential for physical violence. Behaviors that are signs of abuse are just that, no matter how we try to slice it or "explain away".

Thanks, Rattles.
Now, how can I do this disclose if I'm not in Canada. Btw, I was looking into definitions, and apparently I was actually arrested for 24hrs for assault. I was in an abusive relationship, and if that boyfriend had been arrested instead of me, I'd have paid for the consequences later...
So I want to destroy my prints before sending anything to CIC. How can I do from outside of Canada?

I'm not there so I can't even try to judge. But at the same time we shouldn't judge the OP's spouse and insinuate he fits the profile of someone who will eventually assault his wife. That is a pretty nasty assumption. We don't have all the facts here.

 

[keesio]

Anyway, I am aware of more information(which I won't disclose here) and it does nothing to reduce concerns about the potential for physical violence. Behaviors that are signs of abuse are just that, no matter how we try to slice it or "explain away".

I won't ask where you got this information. Yes the OP needs to know what her options are. Like I said, I will not judge. I originally did in my original post when I expressed skepticism when I found about assault charges. But then I modified my post because I realized that i was judging when I don't have all the facts.