I'm happy the documentary has generated so much debate! And I've learned some things from all of the opinions, even if I don't agree with them. 
Somebody pointed out that the it makes it look like marriage fraud is much more common than it is. I AGREE! If you read my previous posts in the thread you will see that actual stats. To briefly recap, 5% of sponsors report marriage fraud. Based on 2009 stats, this would mean approximately 2000 cases of marriage fraud and 35,000 genuine relationships.
When I agreed to be a part of this documentary, my whole reason was to show the suffering of couples who are waiting an extraordinary amount of time to be together with no communication from CIC and how emotionally and even financially stressful that is on those relationships. The filmmaker, in the original version, DID keep that in the film BUT CBC wanted it editted out. So SIX edits later, this is the film everyone saw and it's pretty good but does not show everything I hoped for. Oh well, I didn't pay to get it made. But this is a media game and marriage fraud is a hot, political topic right now. If you were trying to make money and generate contraversy, I guess you would focus on the "dramatic" aspect as well but it doesn't tell the FULL story of sponsorship.
Somebody else commented that for them, if they looked at their partner and thought something like marriage fraud was a possibility then they probably wouldn't get married. I disagree with that but that's probably based on who I am and how I think. I look at best AND worst case scenarios in everything I do because I feel like I must know the risks vs. rewards to make an informed decision. I have a child to consider as well so any decision I make affects him. I owe it to him to look at all the possibilities, good and bad. And I was studying immigration law at the time so I HAD to think about it. But I appreciate that each of us makes our decisions in different ways. And over-analyzing like I do is not best for everyone (even me at times).
So finally, since I put it out there in a documentary, I will clear up some facts. I am 13 years older than my husband. I know that if the ages were reversed, nobody would raise an eyebrow. He landed over a year ago in Canada and we are happily married. I did NOT meet him on the internet and we were together for 1 year before we decided to get married. When we met I was NOT looking for a husband or even a DATE! We got to know each other through another couple of friends and it just happened very unexpectedly and slowly. I was fortunate in that the work I was doing at the time required me to travel to his country and allowed me to spend a lot of time with him and his family and take my son there to visit and meet them as well. It took a year after applying to sponsor him for a decision to be made on our application. We both agree it was the hardest year of our lives. I am still on this forum to help others who suffer from the separation and give accurate information so they don't make mistakes (like I did) that can lead to longer than necessary wait times, refusals, etc. My work focuses on the same thing. I've been in your shoes and I know exactly how it feels. My husband had a happy life in his country and leaving was beyond difficult but he gave up everything he knew to be with me. He doesn't view Canada as a "prize". His life was "easier" in his home country where he only worked one job instead of the two he works now but loves that Canada offers more opportunities and possibilities if you choose to go after them.
And finally, after he just read everything I wrote, he wants you all to know that if he was only marrying someone to get into Canada, he would have chosen a much easier wife than me! He's never seen any woman work as hard or study as hard as I do and still wonders why letting him "take care of me" is NOT appealing to me in the least. He would appreciate your advice on how to get me to slow down and maybe not care so much. He's cheeky, eh?
Somebody pointed out that the it makes it look like marriage fraud is much more common than it is. I AGREE! If you read my previous posts in the thread you will see that actual stats. To briefly recap, 5% of sponsors report marriage fraud. Based on 2009 stats, this would mean approximately 2000 cases of marriage fraud and 35,000 genuine relationships.
When I agreed to be a part of this documentary, my whole reason was to show the suffering of couples who are waiting an extraordinary amount of time to be together with no communication from CIC and how emotionally and even financially stressful that is on those relationships. The filmmaker, in the original version, DID keep that in the film BUT CBC wanted it editted out. So SIX edits later, this is the film everyone saw and it's pretty good but does not show everything I hoped for. Oh well, I didn't pay to get it made. But this is a media game and marriage fraud is a hot, political topic right now. If you were trying to make money and generate contraversy, I guess you would focus on the "dramatic" aspect as well but it doesn't tell the FULL story of sponsorship.
Somebody else commented that for them, if they looked at their partner and thought something like marriage fraud was a possibility then they probably wouldn't get married. I disagree with that but that's probably based on who I am and how I think. I look at best AND worst case scenarios in everything I do because I feel like I must know the risks vs. rewards to make an informed decision. I have a child to consider as well so any decision I make affects him. I owe it to him to look at all the possibilities, good and bad. And I was studying immigration law at the time so I HAD to think about it. But I appreciate that each of us makes our decisions in different ways. And over-analyzing like I do is not best for everyone (even me at times).
So finally, since I put it out there in a documentary, I will clear up some facts. I am 13 years older than my husband. I know that if the ages were reversed, nobody would raise an eyebrow. He landed over a year ago in Canada and we are happily married. I did NOT meet him on the internet and we were together for 1 year before we decided to get married. When we met I was NOT looking for a husband or even a DATE! We got to know each other through another couple of friends and it just happened very unexpectedly and slowly. I was fortunate in that the work I was doing at the time required me to travel to his country and allowed me to spend a lot of time with him and his family and take my son there to visit and meet them as well. It took a year after applying to sponsor him for a decision to be made on our application. We both agree it was the hardest year of our lives. I am still on this forum to help others who suffer from the separation and give accurate information so they don't make mistakes (like I did) that can lead to longer than necessary wait times, refusals, etc. My work focuses on the same thing. I've been in your shoes and I know exactly how it feels. My husband had a happy life in his country and leaving was beyond difficult but he gave up everything he knew to be with me. He doesn't view Canada as a "prize". His life was "easier" in his home country where he only worked one job instead of the two he works now but loves that Canada offers more opportunities and possibilities if you choose to go after them.
And finally, after he just read everything I wrote, he wants you all to know that if he was only marrying someone to get into Canada, he would have chosen a much easier wife than me! He's never seen any woman work as hard or study as hard as I do and still wonders why letting him "take care of me" is NOT appealing to me in the least. He would appreciate your advice on how to get me to slow down and maybe not care so much. He's cheeky, eh?
